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my work charger stopped working i can’t believe it who could have seen it coming

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playing my touy

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wheres seasons greasons

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actually you know what that's exactly it i would rather someone add 5 parantheticals after every sentence than use tone indicators it's 1. accomplishing SO much more in terms of clarity 2. extremely funny to look at depending on how they're used

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what if life has a sort of prestige system where when you die you get to go all the way back to the start, and live a slightly remixed version of your life but with new abilities i think that’d be cool

Lies I have told children ages 7-9

I am five billion years old

My name is Snuffalufagus Bartholomew Von Maximus the Third

I'm in Kindergarten because after college they make you start again all the way back in the beginning.

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when exactly is uptown funk gon give it to me?

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rise and fall of a philly princess

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dennis reynolds = john linnell + johnathan groff

change my mind please

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googles ai talks like charlie kelly

ohhhhhh okay I see

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i love having friends and people that love care about me i’m friendmaxxing rn

No you are not "actively social". You're a disgusting mate-brained freak with a life ruining friend-addiction

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i think janitor should be the highest paying job in a society

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perhaps ripping this one little piece of skin off my lips will at last render them plump and moisturized

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iM???? kkshd;bgdjsmmsnd;sn;

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YOU don’t have to be perfect to be loved. but I do

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