freakydiary - Tumblr blog

[freakydiary]

Swear to god if Spotify interrupts my crying session one more time with an annoying bubbly ad I will email them my suicide note. At least give me a funeral preparation ad so I can see how much my costume coffin would be.

Can a bitch cry her eyes out without you telling me jeans are on sale???

And no I’m not buying premium cuz why the fuck would I spend money on Spotify

[freakydiary]

Im going to have a job interview tomorrow honestly I’m so scared. I was crying myself to sleep because I was scared. I hate being so scared of normal things like jobs. But I’m trying to get better the worst they can say is no right? But what if that’s wrong? What if the worst thing is that they approve but you let them down?

I’m trying not to tell my family about my nerves. The first time a told my sister about it she said with annoyed tone that I can’t take it. She said that if she gets rejected from jobs so could I she even muttered to herself saying I won’t approved.

Honestly that hurts more then I thought it would I thought she would motivate me or tell me I’ll be ok but she did the opposite… of all the people that could have told me that it was a person that basically raised me.

[freakydiary]

Sometimes I feel more animal then human

I do things to survive

I'm a leech a parasite

No matter how much I hate living I still won't die

I hate being so cruel

But it's my nature

I want to stop hurting but I can't

That's why I sympathize with villains

I know now it feels to be born bad

I was born sick

I was born with my selfish emotions and violent ways

I'm just born this way

[freakydiary]

When you remember me I want you to remember only a little

Remove my face from the memory like how the news blurs passerby’s

Because that is what I am

I want you to remember me like how you remember people in your dreams

So close yet so far

Remember me like how you remember a stranger

To the point where you walk pass me thinking you’ve seen be before

Where one day you look at school pictures and you finally see my face

Then you will think

What happened to that girl?

And soon you find out I’m long gone

Forever and ever gone

To the point it’s like I’ve never existed

Maybe don’t remember me at all

[freakydiary]

Sometimes I like to not tell people I’m sick

I want to see if they notice when something is wrong with me

I would wait till I get to sick then they will see I’m not feeling good

The last time I did this it was around Christmas time

I used to sleep on the couch because my sister didn’t want to share a room with me

I had a big fever and my lungs would hurt every time I breathe

I couldn’t eat because I would throw up after

It took them two weeks to take me to the doctor

But they noticed and that made me so happy

[freakydiary]

Chick fil a why did you take the middle of my pickles????

[freakydiary]

I just found out that if you’re craving fish/sea food and you’re a woman there might be a chance you’re about to get your period.

[freakydiary]

Drinking lukewarm water on a empty stomach

Seeing how much I can stand it

Eating a sandwich just to stop it

God knows I'm not perfect

I crave what I can't be

What's my verdict?

To be pretty

Or to be hated

I just want it

I am a narcissist

I feed on my negatives

So I will always be full

Of these nasty emotions

[freakydiary]

I used to think me and my sister had a close relationship but I see my friend talk abt her sister

My sister doesn't do that I mean she is a total bitch

For a self proclaimed nice person she's a bitch

Ngl I think there's a difference between being nice and being a fucking push over

She watches my weight calls my fits ugly

When I tell her I want to change my style, she just makes a face

All she does is complain abt everything

She even complains about wearing pants...

She's 29

I swear I hate grown ass people who act childish

Maybe I'm the problem, but jesus christ, she isn’t helping

[freakydiary]

Yk the thing that’s the older generations are prettier they the younger generation and they start to look weirder

I have a theory that the human race is starting to inbreed

The world will turn into a big family tree

I’m not saying the dating ur sister thing but the in way back when ur genetics are linked thing

And slowly the knot will tighten until it’s a braid

Maybe that’s why there’s a shit load of issues in the world of mental and physical health

Idk maybe Im thinking way to much

Btw not a doctor just a bitch who’s mom decided not to medicate

[freakydiary]

I don't wanna sound like rude

But can someone show me a plus-size scene kid... and no I mean like SCENE SCENE kid

With like the whole hair makeup n clothes without them looking like a 2019-2020 tiktok kid

I wanna do scene but I also don't wanna be the joke in every convo

Also, show me a scene with curly hair... or not pasty

I feel like scene is always people that are REALLY skinny like no ass no tits no nothing also you gotta have straight hair probably be white or light skinned (though know it's spread to other poc in different shades thankgod for diversity)

But that's my legit question find me one NNOOOOOW

[freakydiary]

When I decide I don't want to eat as in I'm not hungry my mom would get annoyed and tell everyone "she's on a diet" idk why but it makes me feel bad maybe embarrassed it makes me feel some sort of shame for not wanting to eat.

Idk what she want from me if I eat she tells me I should watch my weight

And if I don't eat she gets mad and fussy

[freakydiary]

Went to a concert yesterday with my sister sense she didn't wanna go by herself

I had fun tho!

My insta is : lem0n_icetea if u wanna see all the vids !!

[freakydiary]

My dog eating had to mute it cuz my loud ass sister was yelling

[freakydiary]

Sometimes I wanna sell myself

I know it’s sick

I want to know my worth

I want people to tell me I’m worth every scent

I know I said I’m scared of sex

I know I said I want the simple fluffy love

But I can’t do it

I wasn’t made for that

I’m greedy

I want someone to show me how much money I am

I want to be something valuable

Something desired

Wanted

So I can delude it to look like love

Because love doesn't have to be as simple as marriage

A husband 3 kids and a house in the country side with pink flower wallpaper

It could be red

It could be texts late at night

tight clothing painful shoes

The smell of alchol, plastic with a hint of e cigs

That’s the love I know

So show me I'm worth every cent

Even if it's just the thing that I could give you

[freakydiary]

I just noticed I'm the ugly one of my friend group

I don't shine as they do

No matter how hard I try

I brush my hair

Wax my face

I wear the pretty dress

Yet they glow to brightly next to me

Even with plain clothes they are pretty

I don't deserve them

[freakydiary]

When I was little I made up this family

This big family that I lived with

I would day dreaming of us playing

Playing with my LPS or playing just dance

Daydreaming of them laughing and being friendly together

My parents would love each other sharing a smooch before they go to work just like in those children shows

When I was little I dreamed of going to get ice cream with them

And when I complained about my teeth hurting they took me to the dentist

I would write letters to them on how I missed them

How I can’t wait to see them again

For a while I thought of myself as a lost princess

Trying to find her way home

But now I’m 17 and I’m still lost

Im lost trying to find the castle that never existed

I’m just alone

All alone