freddiexjohn

[freddiexjohn]

*sighs*

Brian: *sneezes*

Brian: *whining* when will I ever get over this cold???!!

Freddie: Oh you're such a bitch

Later

Freddie: *crying*

Freddie: AAAAAAHHHHHHH SOMEBODY HELP ME!

Roger & Bri walks in: WHAT?

Freddie: there's a spider over there!

[freddiexjohn]

Sad Boi Hours :(

Roger: have you ever wanted to just jump off a bridge and fall into an abyss of sadness, washing away all of the happiness you kept inside and furthermore damaging away the potential pockets of happiness you could've received later on?

Brian:

Brian: who hurt you, Rog?

Roger: FREDDIE WOULDN'T LET ME GO WITH HIM AND JOHN TO THE ICE CREAM SHOP

[freddiexjohn]

Roger Being A Cocky Bastard Pt. 435

Roger: Bri, don't hate me because I'm beautiful :)

Brian:

Brian: Roger

Brian: I pity you because you're dumb

Roger: :/

[freddiexjohn]

Roger: *recording on his phone*

Roger: so you guys

Roger: Brian told me if you say "gay boy" three times in a mirror, a gay boy appears. So let's do this.

Roger: *turns off lights* gay boy, gay boy, gay boy.

*turns on lights*

Roger: *sees his own reflection*

Roger: *running out bathroom* AH FUCK YOU BRIAN

[freddiexjohn]

Roger; always up to no good

Roger: Bri?

Brian: yes, Rog?

Roger: how would you feel if someone used your Red Special to kill a spider?

Brian: ...

Roger: hypothetically speaking?

Brian: I would be fucking angry..

Roger: oh..

Brian: ...

Roger: ...

Brian: Roger, did you-

Roger: FREDDIE DID IT!

[freddiexjohn]

Messed With The Wrong One

Roger: *runs up to John with a mirror in hand*

Roger: APRIL FOOLS!

John:

John: and why are you holding a mirror in front of me?

Roger: because you're a joke! You get it?

John:

John: have fun driving a car with no battery, asshole..

Roger:

Roger: you're joking, right?

John: April fools, disgrace of a human being :)

[freddiexjohn]

When Roger doesn't get his way..

*iMessage*

Roger: I hate you

Roger: sorry, my cat was pressing on my word suggestions

Brian: lol okay. Bri

Roger: can I tell you a secret?

Brian: haha, yeah sure

Roger: I don't have a cat..

[freddiexjohn]

*currently in the studio*

Roger: *walks in*

Brian: *sees Roger*

Brian: *sighs*

Brian: Rog, you need to stop wearing holes in your pants!

Roger: why not? It's the new fashion trend!

John: we can literally see your arsehole, Roger..

[freddiexjohn]

Freddie's Wedding

*reciting wedding vows*

Freddie: Jim, you make me live. Whenever this world is cruel to me, I got you.. to help me forget. Oh.. you make me live now, Jim Hutton. Ooh, you make me live...

Jim: you do know that your wedding vows comes from one a Queen song, right? :/

Freddie: I do :)

[freddiexjohn]

Roger making Freddie listen to "I'm In Love With My Car" for the first time

*this edit is old, forgive me* 💀

[freddiexjohn]

Roger, to John: AREN'T YOU GOING TO SAY SORRY?

John: what for? :/

Roger, to Freddie: the bugger doesn't even know!

Freddie: WOW! UNBELIEVABLE!

Brian: I can't believe this *sighs*

John: what did I do? :(

Roger: HE'S DONE IT AGAIN

Freddie: HE'S BEING INCREDIBLY CUTE AND FOR WHAT? TO SPITE ME?!

Brian: *shakes head* He might as well take my wife while he's at it.

John: *breathes in angelicness*

Freddie, Brian, Roger: STOP IT

We all want to marry John Richard Deacon :)

[freddiexjohn]

The Top 5 Things That The Members Want To Say To Freddie On Stage

John: get off of me!

John: stop sexualizing my lyrics!

Roger: stop dry humping the microphone stand!

Roger: STOP FUCKING MY DRUMS!!

Brian: STOP TRYING TO FUCK ME !!!

[freddiexjohn]

Roger, to John: I love her, I really do. I think she's the one for me.

His Girlfriend: *listening in the background* *blushes*

Roger: she just keeps me going, ya know? Like.. I was riding her this morning and felt a shock of sensation!!

Girlfriend: what wait?

John: you sound like you really love her.

Roger: I do!

Roger: She's a Silver Shadow Rolls-Royce with an engine of 6750 cc L410 V8! Wanna go for a drive?

John: sure!

Girlfriend: :/

[freddiexjohn]

It's Been One Of Those Days

John: what's wrong?

Freddie: I had a really bad day..

John: awwe :( I wish there was something I could do.

Freddie: there is.

Freddie: I need your oral support :)

John: ... don't you mean moral support?

Freddie: no

[freddiexjohn]

Pastor: we're gathered here today to celebrate the life of-

Freddie: WOOUUHH *claps loudly*

Pastor: *glares at Freddie*

Pastor: anyways.. *smiles* we are gathered here today to celebrate the life of-

Freddie: *throws money* TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF

Pastor: young man, you do know that you're at a funeral, right?

Freddie: oh..

Freddie: I may be drunk and out of my element here ..

[freddiexjohn]

Brian: *sees Freddie smoking a cig for the 12th time today*

Brian: uck, those things can kill you. You're bound to be cancer

Freddie: first of all Brian, I was born on the 5th of September. So that makes me a Virgo..

Freddie: bitch

[freddiexjohn]

Brian: *to everyone* okay lads, we're going out for a simple meal and then we're coming right back home.

Brian: if someone calls out one of our names, pretend you didn't hear it. We don't want to bring any unnecessary attention to ourselves.

This goes for you especially, Freddie.

Freddie: pfft, fuck off. I got this in the bag.

*at the restaurant*

Waiter: and would you like some fr-

Freddie: yes I'm Freddie Mercury, lead vocalist of the band Queen :)

Brian: .... *facepalms*

Roger,to John: oh shit..

Waiter: I was just going to ask if you want some fresh chips on the side but--OH MY GOODNESS, YOU'RE FREDDIE MERCURY !!!

Freddie: *to Bri* Sorry?