friedeggsandbacon

[friedeggsandbacon]

iuhnix

It all began on an afternoon without rain In a ward where each patient had a big belly, When she said hello and said her name, After which my frail mind simply turned to jelly.

I said hello and I said I knew And I said my name just to play the game. But I let slip that I knew she knew And she shot me a look which said "that's lame".

So after all that saying was done and dusted, And much of the awkwardness had dissipated, Acquaintanceship was all that I fostered Until she came for tutorial but only chatted.

That day I guessed her family tree But completely and utterly failed miserably In a lunchtime discussion between three Was followed by a message she sent to me.

She asked for where I was; things were starting soon. Little did she know, there were greater plans For this ship to sail and fly to the moon And for me to discover she's one of JCW's fans.

And then another message came to me In a flash, I replied in capitals and emoji. But things took a turn when I reflexively Hit the button on all the stickers with glee.

But all good things must come to an end For her heart froze when she hit the movies Despite her required presence elsewhere then, As I suffered alone and became quite displeased.

Yet another time in a whole new world, I failed to see a fantastic point of view As I listened attentively to her story unfold But I knew the ECG buddy has fallen through.

How many times must I be disappointed And wonder where her posterior may be located, Before I can understand what this girl wanted And let her know this is not taken for granted?

One more time I will remind her morals That phones in autopsies are against the rules. Not even to book JJ Lin's concert undercover Even under the wraps of multiple poo poos.

And then came that thing with the thumb sign. I will not elaborate, it's not for my tongue. If that made no sense, I hope you will quickly find That pubertal boys are quite too young.

When ECG buddies were reunited again After a long odyssey through eye and ENT, But not the mind, even though there is no shame In scaling heights at night in your dreams with me.

Only this friend of mine will try to see whether I will absolutely crumble in socially difficult situations, Such as taking a photo with three other strangers, On the night which marked the end of some lectures.

A covert operation to bring me in a night call Was the secretive little plan of hers. But I could not accept and could only fall For the trick of taking awkward photos thereafter.

Scrolling documents is her favourite pastime, And telling lame jokes is yet another quirk. But do not be fooled for she can really whine When you point out all the mistakes in her work.

After this unique ENFP, my grades took a hit. Everything that happened, I fell behind one or two. Even though I thought everything was legit, I saved the damsel twenty dollars in printing too.

More on the way I followed her around, On the train to practise scripts for fun, And to her meetings which were benefit to none, For she failed to consult the mind of the ISTJ one.

Whack your shoulder, hit your knee from behind, Extend an arm in front of you, step on your shoe. Just some of the movements you can expect to find When you interact with someone not that cool.

So many things to be shared, Including fried fish that could not be had. I only know her name without a space And that our friendship is filled with grace.

[friedeggsandbacon]

Neck stiffness

Today was a bad day. I failed myself so badly and I’m taking it upon myself to do better. So many things could have been done better, so many. I wished I were more mindful of events. I should have paid much more attention.

Today, during an assessment, I missed the important differential of meningitis in a 9-month-old boy who came in with fever and seizures. I couldn’t even tell if they were seizures, because I wasn’t observant enough. I should have looked at the video more carefully - the boy was not aware that someone is trying to feed him. But yet I missed it, because I was too focused on the arm movements. I thought it may not have been a seizure. But how can I commit, when I haven’t seen what a non-seizure looked like? Lesson learnt: you need to expose yourself to more things. Know what you don’t know, and know them.

And then, I didn’t give a differential of meningitis. On hindsight, I really really should have, and there was absolutely no valid excuse for me not to have thought about it. He had >20+ seizures in a day - that’s too many for typical febrile seizures. But I thought the fever was due to his simple urinary tract infection. But then, I should have pointed out that I would look for any signs of meningism (neck stiffness). He had neck stiffness and was apparently exquisitely irritable. Sigh... It became all too obvious now. But I was too late. I missed it, a medical emergency. What more will I miss in the future?

As a medical student, we don’t see many cases. Between studying, seeing patients and tutorials, how do we even begin to make sense of the patients in front of us? Medical education is highly unstructured and unpredictable. It is far too opportunistic. But what to do? That’s life. My greatest worry is causing harm to someone, as a result of my incompetence. There is no greater regret.

[friedeggsandbacon]

Inspirational stuff.

[friedeggsandbacon]

Sonder

n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own. I'm not sure if there is a word to describe how others seem to be living a life that is far more complicated than my own, but I guess this comes close enough. I am compelled to write this because I suddenly feel an immense gratefulness for the life that I have been so fortunate to lead thus far. Some people say that this makes empathising and giving advice harder for me. I have led a life of relative comfort, free of tragedy, and have even achieved some remarkable things in life. For His wisdom and protection, I thank God, to whom I owe everything. I learnt that this is a privelege that has been given to me. It is something like a double-edged sword - one can use it for or against others. But I am once again thankful for having been inculcated the art of humility at a relatively young age. Never have I sought pride or wealth as a goal; the sense of accomplishment and inspiring expansion of knowledge served as fuel in my high-speed journey through life. I find that this has helped me shaped my personal values that I hold dearly. I have also come to realise the inspiration that others draw from me, something that has touched me and made me feel truly honoured. But somehow all of this journey seems so introverted. The world is my oyster but the world has so many other people too. Perhaps this sudden thought of selflessness is motivated by some other event, but I feel urged to capture this moment of humanity. I want to be more connected to people I hold dearly, those whom I feel deserves more of my attention. By the way, this is not some mid-life crisis of any sorts. This is me trying to rationalise and understand the world, and to me, these thought sessions are crucial for me to get a feel at things. I have been showered with compliments and praises, more than I could have imagined. An informal social experiment, conducted by myself, seems to show that people treat me differently when they do not know of my accolades. They treat me according to my character. That is the fundamental basis of human interaction - whether someone's character appeals to you. I'm a little slow and sleepy now, so perhaps now is the time to end off with something else that has occupied my mind for a while now. Christina was a talented singer with a radiant personality. I have admired her since I listened to her covers on YouTube and was subsequently super-excited by her participation in "The Voice". Her growth as an musician and a person was remarkable, and I marveled at the way she carried herself with confidence and style. Her ability to make herself stand out with her unique vocal style and interact with her fans on a personal level made her an inspiring role model. We have lost an incredibly precious girl and I can only struggle to understand the cruelties of the world that we live in. With Love, RIP Christina. #teamgrimmie Joel

[friedeggsandbacon]

A change in direction

It’s been a while. There’s this thing that’s bugging me. A change in direction of sorts, like I’m flying perpendicular to the currents of the wind. It’s strange really, because I don’t know whether the currents there will ever favour me, or will I always be pushing against an invisible force? But a door has opened, and through it I hope to go find out.

Strangely enough, I find happiness in this sort of dramatic turn of events. One might view my life as a straight path heading to the top, only to find it turning back down to the very bottom, across the valley to another hill, starting anew. Is it really? I don’t know. Or maybe it goes up, across a ridge line, to another even higher mountain.

Yet, people view things differently, they see the birds flying in one direction and a peacock trying to follow suit. It’s an interesting picture.

I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I will make the best out of it. There should be no regret. No turning back. No looking at that imaginary parallel world where I might have followed the original currents and wonder, how far might I have gone?

I do not wish to be remembered as two different people, one of the past and one of the future. That will be a betrayal to what defines someone and the journey he has taken. Rather I’d like to see it as an exploration of the world, finding out more. You may have seen one part of my life, but please don’t think that you don’t play a part in the other.

With gratefulness, Joel

[friedeggsandbacon]

Last bookout! #greendotsg #eatgreenfeelgood #flexitarian

[friedeggsandbacon]

The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets until it’s too light to light.

[friedeggsandbacon]

[friedeggsandbacon]

A speech

Tomorrow, I have to talk. A whole lot. And it’s not like a conversation of praise, or a talk on success. Somehow, it feels more important than any other thing I might even have a chance to talk about. It is a speech on failure, betrayal, guilt and sadness. It is utterly heartbreaking to have to think about it once more. The vagueness is deliberate. Emotions are key.

Questions are just running through my head. How do I phrase this? How do you transmit a deep sense of responsibility with such elegance and grace that it will not be put off as sheer stupidity and ridicule. In the midst of everything, I feel undeserving. So many things have happened. Or not happened. Which I can blame on this single incident.

A dent in the production line for cans. All shiny no nice when you look from afar. Pick up a dented one and it looks like the can should be thrown away. Know why people don’t buy dented cans? Cause that means that it has suffered great trauma. Who knows what else is broken is there?

A missing line of code that would have led to a more accurate moral compass, one that would not have swung to anything else apart from the truth. I could blame it on that.

Or I could blame it on myself, the very definition of a human. Respecting a human is much easier than respecting something that is non human. Interesting how Darwin works.

Somehow Darwin failed too. But who is he to say what’s right anyway. Mere observation leads to a theory which leads to definition? Not really.

So I’ve got to talk tomorrow. Not going to be bright and cheery, unfortunately. I think the week has taken its path towards Mordor. There are things that I no longer treasure as much as I do before. And that scares me somewhat. Change is scary. I don’t know what might happen next. Let Darwin do the talking I guess.

[friedeggsandbacon]

Is it a wolf? A coyote? Yes. It’s a coywolf, and millions of them are taking over America  

[friedeggsandbacon]

I would smile as the shivers and chills run down my spine When your eyes are locked on mine 

50 Owl City Lyrics - 18/50 : I’ll Meet You There  

[friedeggsandbacon]

“Teddy swiveled his chair and looked out the window to the sky beyond. Night was edging in. “What must it be like?” he pondered. “He’s stuck out there. He thinks he’s totally alone and that we all gave up on him. What kind of effect does that have on a man’s psychology?” He turned back to Venkat. “I wonder what he’s thinking right now.” LOG ENTRY: SOL 61 How come Aquaman can control whales? They’re mammals! Makes no sense.”

Weir, Andy. “The Martian.”

[friedeggsandbacon]

[friedeggsandbacon]

my bird shredding some paper