frogkettlesaysstuff

[frogkettlesaysstuff]

i smoke cigarettes now and i cannot talk about it or the people around me will be incredibly upset with me, at least my boyfriend is now

but ill start smoking weed soon so yeah, fuck this

i love lucky strikes and hate everything else

[frogkettlesaysstuff]

[frogkettlesaysstuff]

Sometimes it feels like you've lived your whole life in a house that's always a little bit on fire. Like it's usually just in one room and you make sure to wet the walls around it so it doesn't spread and that usually works. You were expected to take more responsibility over fire containment when you were like seven because it's not like you can expect your parents to always be 100% on guard about making sure the whole house doesn't catch fire, and you figure that's just how things are like.

And sometimes as a kid you visit your friends' homes and some of then whisper to you - grimacing with embarrassment - about how they're not supposed to tell anyone this, but there's a whole room in their house that's currently on fire. And you're like yeah it's ok I'm not supposed to tell people about the way our house is a little bit on fire all the time, too. And then you visit some other friend's house and there's no trace of fire anywhere, and you think "wow, these people are really good at hiding their house fire."

And one day you show up to work like "hey sorry I'm late, I forgot to wet the walls before going to bed last night and my whole house burned down", and you're startled by the way people react, acting like that must be the worst thing that has ever happened to you. And you're just like "chill, it's been years since the last time this happened, and it wasn't even that bad this time", and that just makes people more shocked, acting like that's the weirdest and most concerning thing they've ever heard anyone say, which only confuses you more.

And then someone tries to explain to you that people aren't supposed to have an ongoing house fire. Most people actually never experience a house fire in their lives. Like not even once. Not even a little bit. The normal amount of having your house be currently on fire is zero.

[frogkettlesaysstuff]

I almost broke up with my boyfriend but he's helping me when i cant

Fucking kill me, i hate depending on people and I'll sell this phone

[frogkettlesaysstuff]

[through tears] yeah i remain whimsical

[frogkettlesaysstuff]

[frogkettlesaysstuff]

This is so fuckin true

Yk shits getting worse when you can't fucking mask so your just stimming constantly and are always visibly disregulated.

I want to hide.

[frogkettlesaysstuff]

[frogkettlesaysstuff]

At the same time that I wanna talk about it I don't want to

Just know that things are shit 👍

[frogkettlesaysstuff]

I'm feeling like this world is not supposed to be my life, I feel so fucking dislocated and like this whole life is not what I should be living.

Not like in an imposter syndrome way, but like my life is one of those episodes that weren't supposed to air bc everyone knew it would be shit from the beginning, but "since the story went on this route, we might as well give you these shitty and badly thought out episodes"

[frogkettlesaysstuff]

Yk that feeling when you want to live, but you want to disappear?

It's like in a game, you still want to play the game but you don't like where this save is going, so you just want to change the world and start again.

[frogkettlesaysstuff]

I'm probably autistic

I have things that can only be described as meltdowns, with the flailing arms and almost ripping hair

Today I was around screaming children and i almost screamed myself in the bathroom, I only didn't bc the walls here at my workplace are so thin

[frogkettlesaysstuff]

Broke up with my girlfriend, got a job and I'm still with my boyfriend

And i feel weird whenever i need to be perceived as a woman, perhaps I think this is a stupid thing to be bothered with and that's why I feel shame whenever i talk about this.

Whatever, I'm not gonna have enough money for a therapist anyway.

[frogkettlesaysstuff]

Been in a depression fatigue haze all day. I genuinely need to get out and touch grass 😩

[frogkettlesaysstuff]

[frogkettlesaysstuff]

[frogkettlesaysstuff]