frogs-on-toadstools

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i'm revamping the creepypasta character magnus archive fear dna test thing. ​newer. sexier. htmler.

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too many knots for him to handle

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Any conspiracy theory about people going missing in National Parks is automatically silly to me. Like "Why are National Parks such a hotbed of disappearances???" because they're full of idiots. You've got thousands of people who've never pissed outdoors in their life wandering around the woods/desert/mountain with zero experience and zero gear and zero understanding that this place can kill them. You don't see as many disappearances in wild areas because people don't go to them unless they have some background knowledge. Whereas you get tour buses full of old folks and suburban families shuttling people into National Parks 365 days a year. If you took the same amount of buffoons and dropped them in the actual wilderness the disappearances would be significantly higher than at the parks. Use your brain.

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oh so the fem is the bottom? every single time? and he’s physically half the size of the masc top and much younger too? ok *walks off a cliff*

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“What if I write it and it’s bad-”

WHAT IF YOU WRITE IT AND ITS GOOD? WHAT IF YOU WRITE IT AND ITS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED? WHAT THEN????

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you don’t have to write something good. you just have to write something unhinged enough to edit later

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Having a straightguy oc feels like owning one of those exotic cats with a high-maintainence diet. What do you mean you want tits where am I even supposed to find those

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TMA Results for: Jeff the Killer

The main one’s gotta be The Slaughter because this guy will Jeff The Kill You. That’s his thing. It’s his name. Whatever else he’s got going on this guy’s main purpose in life is to Harm you. If you fear violence you’re gonna really hate being The Killed. 10/10.

The Stranger is the fear of the uncanny, and while it might not be first on your mind while this guy’s breaking into your house, he did get famous in Real Life for having a fucked up face. 10/10.

Part of his shtick is that he fucks up your face when he The Kills you. so he’s definitely aligned with The Flesh. At least a little bit. 7/10.

I don’t think he’s an avatar of The Hunt, but he’s definitely touched by it in some way. There are at least 3 other characters whose whole thing is wanting to Get him. 3/10.

I didn’t include The End because

A: All the creeps kill you in some way

B: There isn’t really any focus on the nature of death, or the invevitibility associated with The End, it’s more of a byproduct of all the other scary stuff that he embodies

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otherwise interesting post ruined by the bold insistence that you can never accidentally abuse someone & that all abusive people are self-aware evil masterminds

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'he would not fucking say that' maybe he would if he knew he was starring in his very own porn fic for the sole purpose of delighting some freaks on archive of our own dot org. maybe he'd play it up for the cameras. ever consider that

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new sex position were you dont touch at all. in fact one of you dies

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Do I want to be turned into a banana slug? No, but I strongly suspect that I won't care once I'm a banana slug.

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ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal

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On Isolation

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fumbled hard

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