frozenjokes

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if he meowed would you meow back

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[ cubfan72 ] cubfan135 smokes the 500 cigarette adapter

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Was only checking Tumblr and did not see the new fic until now! anyway shoutout cub and his Situations. Trying so hard to be the strangest guy in the room.

spirits anon

got lazy LMAO. maybe I’ll post a bunch of it at once sometime. Ty :)

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i actually headcanon desert duo as brothers

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27/06/25

their favourite hobby is annoying their friends and being weird together

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Scar showing Grian and Cub the new promotional TV ad for Cuteguy's debut.

Yes, another one. For the one and only @frozenjokes 's hot guy cubscarian au.

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Kinda run out of steam in the end, but I wanted to get this idea out of my head. @frozenjokes cubscar(ian) is living rent free on my brain.

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club talk about death and space

ao3 link

“Come here often?”

Cleo wasn’t expecting to see anyone up on the rooftop of Mumbo’s home, especially not today, but apparently she had not yet kicked misfortune off her scent. 

Cub must have gotten impatient with their lack of response. “I do. Come here often, I mean. I live here.”

“So I’ve heard,” Cleo spoke dryly, but her tone had no effect on Cub’s plain demeanor. He said nothing, like he was expecting more, and Cleo would have happily left the silence to rot if his blatant staring wasn’t so off putting. “What do you want.”

“Who says I want anything?”

“Don’t be coy.”

“Roof’s a nice place to sit. I never came up here when I was alive. It’s even got company.”

“I thought you specifically didn’t want company here. In your house.” Cleo wasn’t expecting any kind of reaction from that comment, but Cub’s silence made them wonder if they’d been too snide. (Quickly, they remembered they didn’t care what Cub thought, but the pang of anxiety remained.)

“I dunno.” Again, Cub was quiet. He had a savant-level talent for creating unbearable silences. “I think all that time alone wasn’t very good for me.”

“Humans are like that.”

Quiet, again. Cleo was about ready to throttle him until he finally spoke.

“Do you know how I died?”

Cleo snorted with a jerky shake of her head, “I’m not omniscient. You didn’t keep tabs on that tidbit of information?”

Cub did not react to their sarcasm, staring blankly at the shingles below his feet. “I don’t know. I mean. Maybe I did know. I think I forgot. It wasn’t quick.”

Cleo shrugged off her discomfort, replacing it with exasperation, “Well if you don’t even know how you died, I don’t know why you’d expect me to.”

Cub took a breath, then stopped midway, as if remembering he didn’t need to anymore. “The other angels. Knew something. They knew something was wrong with me. That’s why I asked.”

“Oh.” Cleo felt suddenly awkward, squinting for any signs of something Strange, but their only point of reference was Joe, who wasn’t exactly normal looking either. Cub looked like how any ghost ought to, in Cleo’s opinion. She grimaced, looking away. “I didn’t exactly get any training for how to fit this role. I mean. A couple things, sure, but usually there’s whole courses on guardianship. It’s a popular program. Guess they didn’t want to wait on my penance.”

“That’s kinda fucked up.”

“Eh.” Cleo sighed, laying back on her hands and looking up at the sky. A nice, cloudy day. “Far from the worst thing that could have happened to me. Mumbo’s at least halfway through his life, so I won’t even be stuck here that long. Might not even bother trying to get help with the ‘seeing spirits’ fiasco just in case I get reassigned to a baby.” Cleo pursed her lips. “I have a feeling they already knew, though. The more I think about it, the more I’m sure. This is exactly the kind of pettiness angels love.”

“Damn.”

“Uh huh.”

“Angels must be a lot like humans then.”

Cleo shrugged. “Maybe. I dunno though. Sometimes I think you guys are better.”

Cub quieted. It was not such a bad quiet this time. “You’re still in contact with them, aren’t you? Your uh.. ‘parole officer.’ Could you ask them? If they know what happened to me?”

Too genuine. Too real. Too much like Joe. “I don’t really want to do that.”

Cub did not recoil so much as he melted away. Cleo scrambled internally, they hadn’t meant to hurt him, but—

“I don’t think any angel would care to help you, is all. Ghosts and stuff.. protocol is typically Ignore unless it’s a threat. They don’t care about humans in between life and death.” It didn’t fix anything. 

“I see..” Cub mumbled, laying back alongside her. 

There was nothing else to say. 

Afternoon turned to dusk. Then night.

“Do you get to see the stars up close in heaven? Do you see Earth from space?”

Cleo was startled by his voice, but there were no stakes in it, enough to lull Cleo back to calm. “I’ve never been to space. Heaven and hell don’t exactly exist as strictly ‘ups’ and ‘downs.’ It’s just.. a different world.”

“Do you want to? Go to space?”

“I’ve never thought about it.”

“Really? There’s some cool stuff up there. I miss my telescope. I couldn’t use it after I died, it wasn’t even set up outside or anything, but it was comforting. Just to have. My memories of what I saw through it feel fuzzier without it.”

Cleo shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. About the cool stuff, I mean. Angels didn’t really keep pictures or anything.”

“What? Nothing? Surely you’ve seen a good picture of the moon at least.”

“Not even one.”

“Whoa— After I get Mumbo to stop commandeering my house I’ll have to make him show you some pictures. It’s great stuff, really great.”

“Sure.” Cleo snorted. “Maybe you should be the one going to space.”

“Oh, well I don’t think that was in the cards for me. I’m not quite astronaut material. Even if I was, it’s not exactly guaranteed I’d get to go, and there’s also the part where I like not being dead. Astronauts are kinda crazy.”

“Well you can’t die twice.”

Cub blinked. “You think I could go now?”

“I don’t see why not,” Cleo shrugged, then chuckled at the little sparkle in his eyes. “I mean, unless there’s something specifically tying you here.” She looked up. “Might take a while.”

“No time like the present.”

There was no gradual ascension and no goodbye. If Cub had possessed a physical body he would have left a crater in Mumbo’s roof with the force he vaulted into the sky, and it wasn’t long before Cleo lost the little Cub-speck in the stars. Huh. Must really like space then. 

Cleo laughed to themself as they leaned back on their arms, gently shaking their head. Unorthodox, maybe, but if that was one of Mumbo’s spiritual problems gone for good, maybe Cleo wasn’t such a bad guardian angel after all. 

[frozenjokes]

He is the best:(

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Ooooo you wanna make a few more short stories connected to the one you just made. I promise it will stay a series of one shots and not become a long form story. trust me... take my hand....

Spirits anon

JFJFJFJFJ if you’re referencing the convex yuri fic I am glad you enjoyed but it’s probably going to stay just that little thing. honestly if I had anything more to add it would have been over 1000 words LOL. very much a silly little thing born of a few late night ideas

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CONVEX YURI SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!

Cub’s favorite part of the beach was the waves, crashing and churning in sounds that itched her brain in all the right ways. There was no point going to the beach if there were no waves; enduring the sand and the heat was hardly worth it without the white noises to drown out the rest of the world’s noise. Cub liked to close her eyes and imagine herself surrounded by them, cradled by the water but untouched, enjoying the calculated chaos of each crack and retreat.

It was hot, enough for Cub to keep her distance as Scar starfished over her beach towel, though, Cub doubted the heat was bothering her; it was more likely she was trying to maximize on her ‘sunshine absorption prerogative.’ It was bright too, a brightness even Scar could not endure without sunglasses, though Cub hoped she wasn’t looking directly into the light even if she had them..

Scar spared no expense for today’s experiment, having bought a new bikini for just this occasion; a little unnecessary, given the thousands she already owned, but hey, if Scar was insisting this was an essential piece of the program, Cub wouldn’t fault her. It’s not like Cub couldn’t appreciate the view.. not that Scar should know she was paying her that much attention when her eyes were full of spots from sun-staring—good! That was a good thing. Probably.

Cub never cared for the summer rituals of getting a nice tan, and honestly, past-Cub would have scoffed at the idea of ending up with anyone obsessed enough to worry about it, but what do you know. If getting tan meant wearing skimpy swimsuits and lounging around all day, Cub didn’t have much to complain about.

“It’s hot,” Scar sighed, and while she was complaining, Cub knew for a fact this didn’t bother her.

“Want some water, then?”

Scar opened her mouth. Cub took aim with her spray bottle, getting near-direct hits every time. 

“I’m not satisfied.”

Cub couldn’t help her soft snort. “Well it’s snowing, if you want a quick peek outside—“

“Cub!”

“Cub.” she returned, blandly.

“You’re breaking my immersion,” Scar felt the need to whisper, before dramatically rolling over onto her stomach with one too many flicks of the wrist. “Gosh, I wish there was someone who could help cool me down.”

“Do you.. want an ice cube?”

“No! There are no ice cubes at the beach, Cub.”

“I might have a few in my.. uh.. beverage cooler that we brought with us. To the beach.”

Scar sighed, like Cub was the most unreasonable woman in the world. “No, I forgot the cooler at home, remember? Silly me, so forgetful. All we have is water, and if that’s not working, the only thing that’s left is..”

“I have literally no idea what you want from me.”

“You.”

Cub blinked. Looked down at her own sweatpants and baggy sweater. Looked up at the room with all the SAD lights suspended precariously from posts in the ceiling and the roaring gas fire Scar was sidled up against.

“I don’t think I can cool you down.”

“You can! Believe in yourself!” Scar threw her head back in a wide grin, then screamed when Cub sprayed nearly up her nose.

“Did that work.”

“No! Come lay with me!”

“That definitely won’t cool you down.”

“You don’t know that.”

“It’s hot over there and I’m wearing a very comfortable amount of clothes for over here, so I think I’m happier right where I am.”

“Well at least step away from that ghastly sound machine, I can hardly hear you where you are.”

“Okay.” Cub did a 180, walking right out the front door. Even with it closed behind her, Scar’s caterwauling could be heard for miles. That was just fine. Cub let herself fall face first into the nearest pile of snow. Got up. Ducked back inside.

“Cub!! What in the world was that about! Leaving me here?? When I’m so vulnerable?? So— so— seasonally depressed!! How could you! This is—“

Scar stopped talking when Cub flopped directly on top of her, screaming and flailing as she too was covered in snow.

[frozenjokes]

extremely relatable of cub to guilt ask scar questions about disney to appeal to his tism to keep scar in his tism labyrinth . happy birthday scar