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What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create.

Buddha

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I CANT HEAR YOU!!!

People will always provide you with an excuse to give up. People will always provide you with a reason as to why you will never be good enough. People will always feed you a lie to make you question yourself. But you know what people can’t do? People cannot ignore their own words. You, on the other hand, have the power to rebuke every bad word spoken against your life and use it as fuel to feed your inevitable success. You have the strength to turn those dead nouns into verbs and act upon your dreams, letting no single entity confuse you of otherwise. God created you to your EXACT specification. No matter how much you might doubt his blueprint, you are in fact made for eternal greatness. So never let them come correct in underestimating you. You are your loudest and most avid fan, let your own certainty speak volumes over the noise polluting the cheers! Capisce?

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Dwele

If I could place you anywhere It would be in those moments The ones lost And forever sealed In boxes made of paper And lined with jewels of gold Because your memory is my exclusive treasure Formed off the fractured portions of me Embellished with my clandestine eyes And hidden to be my one and only prize Forfeited in those moments And locked In a reality where you cease to exist If I could place you anywhere It would be here It would be now And that’s the bare naked truth..

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You are a Gem. Do not allow your beauty to be tarnish by metal masked as pure gold.

@Alex_Elle

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WE OWNED THE NIGHT!

You know what’s better than completing a 10km run at night? Completing it the company of hundreds of other amazing women! Especially the wonderful fourfits ladies, with whom I had the great pleasure of joining for the evening. An annual event, sponsored by Nike, no expense was spared in ensuring it was a night to remember. Not only did they kindly gift us with a dri-fit race tee (which I will proudly be stunting in the gym with) and a beautifully dainty necklace designed by Alex Monroe X Liberty as part of our completion medal, but they also had free champagne, free food, free hair/nail treatments and a dope DJ set by Nicholas Grimshaw to celebrate with after that battle to the finish line. I’m so proud of all the women who took part in the 10km run. Running is not to everyone’s fancy, as one of the ladies at fourfits can admit to as she wept for joy at the finish line. Even myself included, who was once a so-called runner, struggled as my grandma knees caved in at 2km. But it’s that drive to challenge and push yourself to your limits that makes it such a outstanding achievement! Reaching that last mark on the track signifying you did it…I swear there’s no greater feeling. So well done ladies!! To all those who took part, with a massive congratulatory round of applause, I salute you. - 2 Timothy 4:7 We ran on adrenaline. We ran on friendship. We ran on love. And we owned the night!

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Not all those who wander are lost

J. R. R. Tolkien

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Happy birthday to me!!

Last week saw me turn twenty five, or the ‘quarter-life crisis’ age as I have become more accustomed to calling it, and it’s not because I’m panicking about getting older, but just because of how critical this period of life in general can be. At this great age, you are financially advantaged with money from full time work (thank you God for helping me survive through full-time education btw) and little responsibility in terms of mortgages and child care bills. At this great age, parental emancipation is a given as they can no longer ban you from contacting the outside world via your mobile as you now pay for your own phone bill, and the fear of being locked out has been erradicated with the comfort of knowing you have your own money to book a hotel should the need ever arise. At this great age you have the freedom to thoroughly enjoy all the adventures that the world has to offer and travel wherever you want, whenever you want, for however long you choose. At this great age you have refined the who and what you are, and in doing so shifted out those old individuals and habits that once hindered you from confidently standing as the amazing who and what that you now are. At this great age love is no longer a juvenile fantasy of puppy infatuation, it is a legitimately exercised reality full of compromise, communication and emotional intimacy. At this great age you are favoured with being old enough to be left solely responsible for your own resolves, yet young enough to gamble on decisions deemed risky - and that’s the problem. Marry too early, and you could be forced to regret the decision later when the likelihood of a singleton in your age group willing to have you and your however many crazy children is like gold dust. Stay single too long and you may miss your chance at a family, period. Travel for too long and you risk the financial stability full-time work can provide for your future savings. Work 24/7 for a successful career and you may risk the opportunity to partake in some of the most inspiring expeditions. At this great age, you are free to make choices that can affect the next how ever many years that you are blessed with life, and it scares me, and that is why I have christened it the “quarter-life crisis” age - because your decisions matter. Now I don’t say all this to kick start your anxiety issues or force you to re-evaluate you’re current situation, I merely offer my thoughts as a gentle reminder that this is a great age, so make it count. If I died tomorrow, I feel content in knowing in my 25 years on this earth, I have lived. I have travelled to almost every continent (I just can’t bear the thought of a flight to Australia yet). I have ticked off most items from my list of adrenaline rushes (sky diving is next, you mark my word). My eyes and ears have bore witness to some of the most gifted musicians of this generation. My pallet has never been left abandoned nor disappointed. I have been gifted with a loving family, irreplaceable friendships, and great conversation and memories to cherish. And as another 365 goes by and I reflect into a new year, I’m reminded to commemorate all that I have this far lived with days full of even richer memoirs, I pray that you do the same.

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I finally made it to 40 days!!

So I do apologise now for the mahooosive delay in getting posts actually posted once I had written them but, a lot of the time they just weren’t ready or up to par with what I felt comfortable with publishing. And before I had a chance to refine it, it was on to the next day and before I knew it I had a bat-log of posts pilling up on my phone. When I started this for lent, I thought “write something everyday, easy, my brain goes into overdrive everyday, why not just jot it all down” uhh yeah fail. Things are always much easier said then done, aren’t they? Nah. My problem was that I had failed to understand the time and effort that was required to be sacrificed in order for me to competently execute my task, and so I struggled and I missed days and I’ve had to post words I don’t think are up to par, but it was worth it. Placing myself out of my comfort zone and forcing myself to write through my inconveniences of tiring 13 hour shifts at work, a week in Cyprus, and even now as I write on the MTA somewhere in New York, unearthed my bottled up love for the forgotten art of writing. This challenge in a way has been a blessing, because it has served as a stark reminder that you should do what you do for the sheer love of what you do, and reminded me that there is no greater love, than that which you do selflessly.

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be saved through Him." John 3:16-17

Jesus went above and beyond his line of duty when he offered up his time, effort and even his body for the love of us. He endured mocking, lashings was impaled in order than we may be free of the burden of our transgressions. We were not born perfect, but through his grace our inequities are forgotten and we are made blameless. Today we are reminded that the cross equals love, because as much as he might have wanted do do his own thing and live, he loved us more and willingly sacrificed his own wants for the greater need: salvation.

And yet, we often become so accustomed to the ease of our day to day lives that we forget all that Jesus did. We become distracted from Him. And so during lent we give up, or in my case take up, something in order that we may acknowledge the ways we have turned away from God in our lives and we focus on turning our hearts and minds back towards him.

By reflecting on and documenting my thought processes, I have been reminded about the jewels crafted from relationships and the blessings gifted from His love. So I might have failed to complete my task this lent, I haven’t failed to learn the most important and value able lesson of it all: God is Love.

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39:40

(An oldie from a precious blog, but Its one of my favourite pieces so in reposting never the less. Enjoy.)

Have you ever got to that point where restropectively speaking, you gaze back at the freshly made steps you’ve just taken and wonder “how the fcuk did I get here??” I know all too often many of us, most of whom are ashamed to admit, have reached this point of anti-climax with both pride and disappointment. Pride at having come so far. Yet disappointed in the path your feet have decided to follow. Yes. I am all too familiar with this bittersweet junction. This junction where like the pawns on a chess board - your next move counts. Because you see, when you’re too busy engulfed by the bright lights that surround you, it’s all too easy to become distracted and loose sight of what’s ahead. Loose focus of what it is you are heading towards. Loose momentum in getting you to where you need to be. Sometimes you loose balance between enjoying the journey and reaching your destination, and forget that ultimately where you end up depends entirely on the route you take. Yes fun and laughter and games and enjoyment is and forever will be a pleasurable antecedent, but the end is inevitable, and it must be remembered that temporary fixations must not be allowed to blind and steer oneself away from a fate greater than present expectations.

We are all destined to account to more than our misendevours.

Think about it. Now take your next step.

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38:40

Today I said goodbye to Music

and all that it entailed.

To the words that made my mind 

a reality

and the rhythm that paced my heart

Beat

that kept me pumping

all day and all night

and the rhythms which had me

Mesmerised

when its melodies touched me

so Deep

I got lost in my own soul

its bars kept me

Hooked

'my jam', it always impressed

till now

ha! disappoint.

can I hit rewind?

pause?

play?

no

stop.

Today i said goodbye to Music

and all its love-hate qualities

Im sticking to one now

new-soul

oh, i think it likes Me

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37:40

"Woohoo!" Imagine that was the sound people made as they rejoiced in your departure? Well today one of the most stubborn, ill mannered, antagonising and ungrateful patients I’ve ever encountered was discharged from our care, and oh how we joyously celebrated! But it got me thinking - is that what people do every time I l eave a room?!” it pains me to even think it! That someone would find me so vile in character that my absence actually brings relief that demands festivity?! I should hope not! You see, as a Christian, I have grown more and more aware of the fact that God lives in me. His grace. His mercy. His love. All his divine qualities have been intertwined into my spirit and exhibited through my flesh. Through my thoughts. Through my actions. Through my words. For anyone to ceremoniously cheer my vacancy feels like a rejection of Gods love and light. Now, I know not everyone is going to like you no matter how polite or kind you may be, but that doesn’t absolve the hurt. Don’t get me wrong, I am no people pleaser, nor do I live for recognition, but I refuse to accept that my purpose for creation was to burden the world with my presence. Which brings be back to my original study - am I the same person I see in the mirror when seen through another’s eyes? I guess I’ll never know. The most I can do it pray that Gods light and love shines brighter and abandons rooms with a radiant warmth rather than praises of farewells.

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34:40

My family just keeps growing! Next year ill be getting a sister (in-law) and new cousin (in law) and who knows who else the year following that! I eagerly await the day when a hall will be the only venue large enough to hold my loved ones, as the tiny patter of my nieces and nephews feet, and the ringing clatter of glasses as partners toast to the good life, echo amongst its walls. Despite the fact that my family is already pretty sizeable, with 16 cousins totalling both sides, I relish in the thought that this number will considerably rise. Whilst it may mean an extortionate Christmas, and rare entirely complete family gatherings, it will also mean more boisterous laughter, more priceless stories and more love to give and receive. So let the great times roll =)

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The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all.

  I don’t care that I’m quoting a Disney film, I couldn’t agree more with the Emperor. 

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32:40

(I'm sure a lot of you might have read this one before, but I still think it's as relevant today as it was when I wrote it about 4 years ago so let's repost this ish)

Right now, I feel like some of us are all being inundated with constant trials and tribulations, testing your patience and strength to survive life’s cruelties. And it hit me:

Life’s journey is a strange one

No matter how well prepared or how thoroughly you’ve planned your route, it’s amazing that in an astonishingly high number of cases, it never quite works out as intended. Either you get lost and become forced to make your way on unfamiliar gravel, or you find you’ve arrived at an entirely new destination all together.

- It’s fascinating.

There’s no right or wrong when it comes to living. You can come to decisions based on your logic and rationale, and yet still be misguided. You can follow your heart, and still be lead astray. I’ve sat on so many occasions, and pondered where I will end up in 5 years…10 years…15…even 20 years, and I know that I can predict and assume and plan all I want, and it will never quite happen that way. Life is unexpected like that. If you had asked the 10 year old me “where will you be in 10 years” I highly doubt I would’ve told you id be studying to become a nurse, living away from home, working my ass off just to make ends barely meet. I probably would have told you id be care-free spirit, in Art School renting a small apartment in London, visiting museums and painting in my spare time…or working a whole variety of random jobs, busy meeting new people whilst living out of a suitcase and travelling the world (which is somewhat true to reality)..i may have even told you id be married to Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys (because lets face it, as 10 year olds, were pretty naive and not too smart neither lol). Either way, you can never be sure of what to expect.

The more I think about it, the more I can’t help but be stunned by the way my life has unfolded..how I’ve grown into my own skin, at how my individuality has been cultivated, at who I’ve become.

Who would have thought that any of the momentous events we’ve experienced would have happened. I mean, I bet you never thought you would still be the best of friends. I bet you never thought you could fall out of love with him. I bet you never thought you would be in love full stop. I bet you never thought you would have kids. I bet you never thought your parent(s) wouldn’t be there. I bet you never thought you would still be lost and not know what you want from life. I bet you never thought you would have survived the cancer. I bet you never thought you would be living your dreams. I bet you never thought you would be blessed with more than you could have hoped for.

- Good or bad, the surprises continue to astound me.

If having to watch those I love get their spirits broken, by some of the most redunkulous sh*t known to man and taped back up again with sheer determination and bravery, has taught me anything, it’s that everything in life is precious. We waste so much time planning for a tomorrow that may never come, instead of learning to simply appreciate the present and be courageous enough to take the risk today, because that’s all were promised.

It’s all too easy to be disappointed by what were handed, to wish we were walking someone else’s Christian Louboutin’s. But I say be content and welcome the trials, love the criticisms and embrace those who cause you injury. It’s those exact incidents which make or break you, it’s youre choice.

Someone once told me that sometimes its not the about the destination, but the journey. Life is what you make of it. And having amazing friends and family to walk, run, or even drag alongside you, its a gift that’s not to be ignored or undervalued. Just remember: no matter how wrong a turn you take or are forced into, we will all eventually get to where we need to go, one way or another.

…so don’t give up just yet dear friend

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darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that..

MLK


In the last year or so there has been a significant movement within film for the production of black historical pictures, with the release of ‘The Butler’ (from which this this graphic screenshot was taken) ‘12 years a slave’ and ‘Mandela’.
Despite the clear differences in plot line and era, essentially, they all comment on the same theme - a man’s flight for freedom, and his unwavering determination to achieve it regardless of what obstacles may be blocking his path. I love the fact that these stories are not inspirational folk-tale, but true accounts of how these brave individuals were able to change the past and pave a way for my future, our futures. As a direct result of the likes of these fearless men and women, we are exempt from the confines of our race, gender or age. We are free to travel and reside wherever our feet may take us without fear of eviction for being the ‘wrong’ skin colour. We are free to vote irregardless of our sex, knowing that our voice will be heard. We are free to work for as long as our bodies allow without fear of redundancy to our age. We are a profoundly fortunate generation in that the privilege of liberty is a gift we are born with, rather than painfully earned. I salute and applaud the heroes of our history, for my freedom is indebted to them for shinning a light on the dark corruptness brought into existence.

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29:40

The best things about a day off is having the luxury to simply catch up. As simple as it sounds, it’s rarely achieved. Think about it..how many tv shows have you picked up and never finished? How many texts have you initiated with intention and never sent? How many times have you determined to sign up to regular gym visits and ultimately cancelled said membership because the infrequency of visitation could not justify the fee?  To much of our dismay, there are only 24 hours in the day and yet a million plus one assignments awaiting their deadlines. And being part of a generation where by mobile phones, wifi and fast-everything have simplified life to the extent that there simply is no excuse for anything, further accentuates the catch-22 we have found ourselves in. Its tough; no one wants to feel defeated, especially by time. Yet time seems to be an entity that holds little value nowadays. No longer do we cherish the significance of quality time with loved ones, and instead place it as a quick tick box on our long overcrowded to-do-lists. No longer do we appreciate the moments of solitude and silence in thought, but instead fill it with thoughtless hours on the World Wide Web streaming two girls and a cup. No longer is value placed on carefully written letters and instead abbreviated vowels and consonants are issued via DMs or comments, or through the retweeting of others. And why? Because we just don’t have the time, period. I mean we don’t even have the to consider or appreciate time in the first place.

So a day exempt of the pressure of an alarm, the pressure of portraying professionalism, the pressure of perfect completion, the pressure of is a highly welcomed gift. One that I will continue to celebrate amongst good food and great company, or a warm ass bed! Who needs a lazy Sunday? When you can have a fabulous day off.

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OH HAIIII THERE GIRL!

Since downloading the album, I literally haven’t been able to go a day without repeating at least one track! The entire vibe and sound of this album is so refreshing compared to much of what is on the self as of late. Somehow, he’s managed to take strings, tribal chants and an electric guitar to orchestrate sounds which are not just funky or ridiculously catchy, but also current. This is a downright feel good chart topper, because every time I hear this album I feel good. Like I could go out and buy a pair of dancing shoes just so I can put them on and dance the night away with my two left feet! Ahh I’ve missed hearing some sassy funk instead of all this commercial babble our sound waves have become saturated with. So thank you Pharrell for rescuing my exhausted iTunes!