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Happy Diwali 2019: The funniest Deepavali jokes and memes lighting up the Internet – The Indian Express

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Diwali jokes and memes have taken social media by storm.

Diwali, the festival of lights is here, as people across the country gear up to celebrate the day with their loved ones. It is the time of the year that Indians across the world look forward and celebrate with delicious meals, mouth-watering desserts and sweets.

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While wishing family and friends in the morning with messages and quotes through chats have become part of the Internet age, there’s plenty of joyous spirits that can be seen on social media too. Rib-tickling jokes and memes that perfectly encapsulate the festive cheer have also flooded social media.

ALSO READ | ‘Struggle is real’: Smriti Irani shares hilarious meme on Diwali mithai and people couldn’t agree more

From kaju katli jokes to how one feel thrilled and scared while bursting a sutli bomb, here are the funniest #Diwali jokes on the Internet that will surely leave you splits.

Sample these:

If cricketers were crackers:

– Jasprit Bumrah: Chakri – always targets the toes

– Rishabh Pant: sasta rocket – always misfires

– Ravindra Jadeja: Hunter – isse kuchh bhi karwa lo

– Hardik Pandya: 100 shots – yeh karke hi aata hai

— Pakchikpak Raja Babu (@HaramiParindey) October 27, 2019

*Me after lighting a sutli bomb*#Diwali #Deepavali pic.twitter.com/MuFfatNpav

— Tweetera🐦 (@DoctorrSays) October 27, 2019

When someone meets you just to wish you #HappyDiwali

Whatsapp: pic.twitter.com/1LrTzjMEqf

— Bade Chote (@badechote) October 27, 2019

#HappyDeepavali ♥️ pic.twitter.com/NaICbPczWP

— 🅰️🇲🅰️🇳 (@AMAnZING1109) October 27, 2019

How to wish on Diwali?

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Pehle “Happy, prosperous, bless, good health, Wisdom” sabko ek ek matra me le pic.twitter.com/2YCawcHDTX

— डी.के. (@itsdhruvism) October 27, 2019

#HappyDeepavali

*Aag lgane ke bad jab bomb na Foote*

me to friend : pic.twitter.com/1I1fcsB7gC

— Pranjul Sharma🌼 (@Pranjultweet) October 27, 2019

Pic 1 : Tumhara bhai ni darta. M sutli bomb fodd k aaunga.

*bomb ki batti m halki si chingari dikhte hi*

Pic 2 : Bhaagg madar footne wala hai…. 🙃🎉 pic.twitter.com/EjHcG7c1KB

— _नारी_😼 (@atram_shatram) October 27, 2019

#Diwali

Fuljhadi be like – pic.twitter.com/p6SSSDOzRO

— बंजारा (@tripylekhak) October 27, 2019

Gulab Jamun after seeing growing popularity of Kaju Katli in #Diwali season pic.twitter.com/EUqq9lXaz9

— Humor Being🌈 (@followTheGupta) October 26, 2019

Ghar walo ne ghar ko ludo bana ke rakha hai😭😭 pic.twitter.com/mJxC38LkgY

— Lady Stoneheart (@GalatDisha) October 26, 2019

5. Katrina Kaif – Mango Rasgulla because it has Mango and it’s Rasiyaaa

6. Abbas Mustan – Jalebi because they love twists

7. Shiney Ahuja – Anything that’s prepared using Milk’maid’

8. Ranbir Kapoor – Currently Aaloo ka halwa, but it keeps changing

— Sagar (@sagarcasm) October 26, 2019

When you gift kaju katli to someone and they say yaar isbar soan papdi nahi doge? pic.twitter.com/UzIUt6siRh

— Mask (@Mr_LoLwa) October 26, 2019

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Rockets’ James Harden has funny response after hitting his face with game ball – ClutchPoints

Houston Rockets superstar James Harden made the meme team on Saturday night when he slammed the ball into the ground in frustration and hit his own face at the end of the first half of their game against the New Orleans Pelicans.

A reported asked Harden whether the hit to the face hurt. The 2017-18 MVP hilariously credited his signature beard for protecting him from the damage:

James Harden, on the ball he bounced and hit his own face at the end of the 2nd quarter:

Reporter: “Did it hurt?”

Harden: “It hit the beard, so I had protection.”

— Stefano Fusaro (@FusaroESPN) October 27, 2019

James Harden tried to fish for a foul on a 3-point attempt at the end of the second quarter. The refs saw through his antics and didn’t blow the whistle.

The Rockets superstar was visibly frustrated as he bounced the ball hard into the ground. Unfortunately, the ball didn’t bounce the right way as it hit him right on the button.

Pelicans guard Josh Hart, who was defending Harden on that play, saw the incident firsthand and couldn’t believe what he just witnessed:

James Harden accidentally hit himself in the face with the ball and Josh Hart was shook 🤣 pic.twitter.com/l1FeUn0cxX

— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) October 27, 2019

The Rockets were still able to sneak past the Pelicans, 126-123, to get their first victory of the new season.

James Harden had a frustrating night overall, as he made just 8-of-29 from the field and turned the ball over eight times. He converted just two of his 18 tries from beyond the arc, but nailed 11-of-12 freebies at the charity stripe. Nevertheless, the former MVP still top-scored for Houston with 29 points and added four rebounds and five assists.

His partner-in-crime, Russell Westbrook, finished with 28 points, 10 rebounds, and 13 assists to notch his 139th career triple-double. Westbrook moved into second on the all-time triple-doubles list, passing Los Angeles Lakers legend Magic Johnson.

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15 Funny Quotes About Work to Get You Through the Day – WomansDay.com

For most people, one of the givens of life is that we all, at some point, have to have a job, in one form or another. Whether you’re a banker, a teacher, a salesperson, or a caregiver, our weekdays are typically filled with the stresses of work life. And while some may say that they’re lucky enough to have found a job that they love so much, it never truly feels like they’re working, the majority of us are out there dealing with stressful coworkers and trying to decide whether it’s worth using up a sick day so that you can avoid that three hour-long meeting and nap instead. And while you could do that, another way to deal is by finding some humor in the thick of it all with these funny quotes about work.

Let these hilarious quotes about work — straight from the mouths of well-known names like Robert Frost, Albert Einstein, and even Homer Simpson — bring a smile to your face.

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Diwali 2019 Memes: 10 funny memes about Diwali that will make you laugh out loud – Times of India

The most awaited festival of the year, Diwali is here. It is the festival of light and togetherness where we worship Lord Ganesha and Goddess Lakshmi and enjoy with our near and dear ones. The celebration of the festival lasts for five days, starting two days prior to Diwali and lasting two days after Diwali.

Dhanteras marks the beginning and the festival ends on the day of Bhai dooj, which is celebrated two days after Diwali. The festival is the celebration of the victory of good over evil. On this day it is believed that Lord Ram came back to Ayodhaya after being in vanwas for 14 long years. People exchange gifts with their friends and family, burn crackers, play cards, tambola and several other games to enjoy the festival.

The five day Diwali celebration includes: Day 1 Diwali festival is on October 25, Friday – Dhanteras Day 2 Diwali festival is on October 26, Saturday – Hanuman Puja or Chhoti Diwali Day 3 Diwali festival is on October 27, Sunday – Lakshmi Puja, Diwali Day 4 Diwali festival is on October 28, Monday – Govardhan Puja Day 5 Diwali festival is on October 29, Tuesday – Bhaiya Dooj People clean their houses to welcome Goddess Diwali who is believed to visit the houses on this day.

To celebrate the auspicious festival of Diwali, here are some fun-filled memes that you can share with your loved ones to make them laugh.

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These Viral Videos Of Cinderblock The Obese Cat Exercising Are Too Funny – BuzzFeed News

On Oct. 19, Northshore Veterinary Hospital in Bellingham, Washington uploaded a video of an adorable, extremely large cat named Cinderblock using one paw to move on a treadmill as part of her weight loss regimen.

In the week since that first video went up, Cinderblock has become a viral celebrity.

Since then, the vet has periodically posted updates of Cinderblock’s progress, including a video of her walking — reluctantly — on treadmill on all fours.

People can’t look away from this hilarious cat who, in the first viral video, was sitting on the edge of the treadmill instead of walking on it on all fours, and using just one paw to move on the exercise machine.

“You working out?” the veterinarian says in the background of the video.

According to the vet, Cinderblock is currently on a “weight loss journey.”

“This fabulous feline is obese, and it is affecting her quality of life,” the hospital wrote in its Instagram caption. “We are helping her achieve weight loss through a prescription diet and exercise. She is not on board with the exercise 😂.”

Cinderblock has won over many hearts in the last week, to say the least. “IN THIS HOUSE WE CHEER ON CINDERBLOCK YOU GOT THIS BB DO THAT WORKOUT,” Twitter user @smolpinkcat tweeted.

“Can we please keep getting updates of Cinderblock’s progress? She is the most precious thing in my life now,” Twitter user @_stuti wrote.

Many said Cinderblock’s struggle was relatable.

Others talked about how emotionally invested they were in her journey, and cheered her on.

I’m emotional invested in a cat’s weight loss journey on instagram. We will get through this, Cinderblock.

01:48 PM – 25 Oct 2019

The Northshore Veterinary Hospital has continued posting videos of Cinderblock on their Instagram account. In one video, the caption explains that doctors are encouraging her to move around by “scattering the kibble.”

“This does also increase her exercise albeit not dramatically,” the caption says. “Every little bit helps.”

BuzzFeed News has reached out to the animal hospital for comment. In the meantime, you can follow Cinderblock’s weight loss journey on the Northshore Veterinary Hospital Instagram account.

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65 Choice Pics for the Refined Viewer – Funny Gallery – eBaum’s World Gaming News

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Smriti Irani’s “Baazigar” Meme On Diwali Has Internet In Splits – NDTV News

New Delhi:

Union Minister Smriti Irani’s Instagram meme highlighting the struggle of those sticking to their diet during Diwali is going viral. The Union Minister on Saturday posted a meme based on a scene from the 1993 thriller ”Baazigar”, featuring Johnny Lever and Dinesh Hingoo.

Ms Irani captioned the post: “The struggle is Real (crying emoji) me and my Diwali Mithai.”

In the meme, Johnny Lever and Dinesh Hingoo were labelled “My diet” and “me eating Diwali mithai”, respectively. The scene from the cult film shows the two nervously laughing looking at each other.

Netizens appreciated Irani’s humorous post and joined in the fun.

While one wrote “So funny! Story of my life” another commented “Too good! I love your humorous posts! & I can relate to this diet myself too.”

Ms Irani, an active Instagram user, is known for her eclectic Insta feed. She often shares funny memes, sweet pictures of her family, informative tidbits and witty jokes on the photo and video sharing app.

Ms Irani is an active Instagram user who often delights her 6.8 lakh followers with her witty and thoughtful posts.

Another hilarious Instagram post by Richa Chadha proves that celebrities are just like us. Her funny “Diwali ki safai” meme has collected hundreds of amused comments since it was shared on October 24.

The festival of Diwali or Deepavali is celebrated across India. It symbolises the spiritual “victory of light over darkness, good over evil and knowledge over ignorance.” On this day, people light up their homes with diyas, candles and string lights. Friends and family members exchange gifts and Diwali Puja or Lakshmi Puja is performed in the evening.

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Get Breaking news, live coverage, and Latest News from India and around the world on NDTV.com. Catch all the Live TV action on NDTV 24×7 and NDTV India. Like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter and Instagram for latest news and live news updates.

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This new book details the amusing, funny and slightly gross parts of Maine snowmobiling – Bangor Daily News

When Matt Weber got into snowmobiling less than a decade ago, he figured he’d be able to learn quite a bit about the sport by finding a few books to read.

His search for Maine-centric snowmobile books was fruitless, however: As far as he was able to determine, none had ever been written.

Eventually, he got to work changing that, and the product of his labors, “ Making Tracks, How I Learned to Love Snowmobiling in Maine,” was recently released by Islandport Press.

Staff photo/Melissa Lizotte | Star-Herald

Snowmobile tote rides are among the fun activities offered during Aroostook State Park’s annual Winter Family Fun Day on Feb. 23.

The 145-page volume offers up plenty of practical tips and takes readers to some of Weber’s favorite sledding areas; it divides Maine into four snowmobiling regions and offers a primer on each.

The result is a broad-brush treatment of the sport that will be perfect for someone looking to get into sledding, while also providing some light-hearted storytelling that veteran snowmobilers will enjoy.

Weber has an interesting backstory. He grew up in Stillwater and graduated from Old Town High School, has worked as a snowmaker at Sugarloaf and now lives on Monhegan, a tiny island 10 miles off the mainland, where he’s a lobsterman. Of note: Snowmobiles are not allowed on the island, so every time he wants to go for a ride, he first has to make his way to the mainland.

Weber is also the co-owner and brewer at Monhegan Brewing Company.

There’s plenty of room to snowmobile in Maine, and the Maine Snowmobile Association says there are more than 14,000 miles of trails to explore.

In “Making Tracks,” Weber divides the state into four rough regions — The County, Katahdin and Moosehead Region, Eastern Maine and The Western Mountains — and shares stories of his adventures in each part of Maine. He also offers some pro tips, including places he likes to eat or scenic trails you shouldn’t miss, along with his favorite lodging locations.

At the end of the book, he adds in a valuable “resources” section, which includes some safety tips, along with a directory of some outfitters that rent sleds.

There is one small problem with “Making Tracks”: Weber is a funny dude, and the comic interludes were among my favorite parts of the book. I would have liked to have seen even more, interspersed with the more practical how-to and where-to sections.

Among the funny anecdotes he shared was the description of his father-in-law’s passion for chainsaws: ‘I once pointed out to him that he only has two arms but five saws, and he glared at me, clearly wondering why his oldest daughter had married such a complete imbecile.”

Another favorite tale involved Weber’s youthful attempts to plow snow by tying a shovel to his bicycle.

“Invariably, the shovel would actually plow maybe two inches of the driveway, hit a frozen rock, snap the rope and drive the end of the shovel into my gut — pitching me off the bike and knocking the wind out of me,” he wrote.

And some readers will get a kick out of his on-the-fly solution to a trailside bathroom emergency. I certainly did. I read the passage aloud to a couple of colleagues, giggling hysterically. They were more grossed-out than amused. To each their own

Whether a reader is just getting into snowmobiling, is a longtime veteran of the trails or is just looking to live vicariously through someone else’s adventures, “Making Tracks” will make a welcome addition to the bookshelf.

And when it’s snowing too hard to even think of taking the sled out, reading a few pages may just keep the cabin fever at bay until the trail groomers have time to tidy things up.

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Enjoy an XXL Serving of Funny Memes and Pics – eBaum’s World Gaming News

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Hill Creek Farms featuring Rastelli Market Fresh: Fall Fun! Pics and Video! – 42freeway.com

Apple Cider Donuts is really all you need to know. Ha! But seriously there is a lot to see and do at Hill Creek Farms! Tell the kids to put down the iPads and get them outside for some Fall fresh air and fun!

The Hill Creek Apple farm has been on Rt 45 in Mullica Hill for a many years, offering a fall farm experience for previously only 4 months a year. Last summer (2018) they partnered with Deptford’s Rastelli Markets to turn the farm into an all year round destination! They combine the fun activities of Hill Creek, with the fresh foods and market items of Rastelli’s and other partners. It’s the perfect place to visit with the family on a beautiful weekend day, and also every day to get delicious market. prepared foods and cafe items.

And yes, this another one of those posts where I did a lot of work (July 2018)… including pics and video.. and never posted it!

Well fall is probably the best time to visit… with activities, food, apple picking and fun family activities in full swing!

This weekend (Oct 26 and 27) the are featuring The Not So Scary Pumpkin Ride! Along with the hayride there will be “Live music, great food, cider donuts, BBQ and a bonfire will also be a part of your day.”

If you haven’t visited… or since their large upgrade… it really is a worthwhile visit, especially on an awesome weekend like this!

What started out as an apple farm, has expanded into a full afternoon of fun, food, and beverages.

Outside Fun

As soon as you pull into the farm you will notice the array of fun outdoor activities! Get the kids out of the house and into the fall fresh air!

Barrel Train Rides: A unique train offering rides for youngsters through the orchard! Duck Race Game: Not your tradtional water based duck game! They kids have to use old fashioned handpumps to move the ducks through the race

Fall Inflatable Attactions; Pirate ship! A large inflatable pirate ship is on site right now where kids can climb through its obstacle course like path!

Gem Mining Company: The unique and cool water trough path of the Gem mining company is one of the first things you notice and

say “What is that?” You can buy your child a souvenir bag of sand and “pan” for treasure with it in the waters of the Gem Mining company to uncover the treasures hidden in the sand!

Hay Wagon Rides!

Playground: Behind the barn is a large playground where “children can romp safely in our amazing playground, free all day, every day, complete with tire mountain, fire truck slide, sandbox, bean-bag toss, and more”

Firepit: Perfect place to sip your coffee and hot chocolate

The Barn!

Inside you’ll find a variety of food, fresh market items and a cafe!

Rastelli Market Fresh: Rastelli has set up shop with a Market Fresh outlet featuring delicious and fresh market items (specialty cheeses!), baked goods, and on site chefs preparing food to eat on site or to go!

The Loft Cafe: The upstairs Loft Cafe is a surprisingly large cafe where you can grab a bite to eat and enjoy our coffee, smoothies, and juices featuring fresh fruits and vegetables from the farm!

Orchard Valley BBQ: Food outside includes Orchard Valley BBQ!

Auburn Road Wines! Hill Creek has partnered with Auburn Road Winery to offer their delicious wines on site, and they have an Apple Wine created from the apples of Hill Creek Farms!

Patio Seating: There are two outdoor patio areas to eat at. One overlooks the pond, and the other overlooks the apple orchard.

Harvest House: A separate building to the side of the main barn, the Harvest house is a small event room for food, music, and fun!

There are a ton of fun things to see and experience at Hill Creek Farms.. and this is the perfect family day out to get the kids off their Video Games and iPads, and out into the fresh air!

Video and Pics below!

Hill Creek Farms 1631 State Highway 45 Mullica Hill, NJ 08062

Website Facebook

Video is from July 2018! Visit in the Fall to see the changes!

[embedded content]

Gallery Pics: Most were taken in July 2018, and many were added from October 2019

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Tatá Werneck makes fun of her daughter's pose: "No more show" – UOL

Tata Werneck decided to make another joke with his daughter, Clara Maria. This time she used a baby pose, which appears in a photo with her hand in front of the camera, as if trying to block the click, to play with the girl's exposure.

"Enough of exposure. You are wanting publis at my expense. When I work out I'll expose the whole truth to the guys from the new formation video show," wrote the humorist in the caption of the image.

Since Clara was born last Wednesday, Tatá Werenck and her fiance, Rafael Vitti, have made a series of posts, showing the girl's face and making jokes. The actress, in particular, has made a lot of jokes since her daughter was born, using pictures, montages and funny phrases on social networks.

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How to Be Funny in the Workplace – mySanAntonio.com

Photo: Fizkes | Getty Images

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Photo: Fizkes | Getty Images

How to Be Funny in the Workplace

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I had a conversation recently with someone who confided that they were sick of work. “Everything feels too routine. I get pushed around and everyone expects me to be funny all the time,” they said. Seeing they were a bit stressed, I recommended they switch off for the evening and suggested a visit to the circus. The person started sobbing. “But that’s where I work,” they bawled. “As one of the clowns.”

OK, let me take this a bit more seriously and tell you about a real conversation I had recently with a client who likes to use humor in the workplace. They confided in me that they were concerned that their jokey manner was creating a reputation as someone lacking in seriousness, professionalism and maturity, and they asked me if they should tone things down. It’s pretty cheerless that in 2019, after all the surveys about lack of engagement, wellbeing and authenticity in the workplace, people are still struggling to be their natural selves. I gave the following response: Humor in the workplace can be both career-enhancing and a powerful social intelligence tool, but it needs to be executed with skill and purpose.

Related: Humor Sells

An oft-cited Robert Half survey found that “91 percent of executives believe a sense of humor is important for career advancement, while 84 percent feel that people with a good sense of humour do a better job.” Indeed, in The Humor Advantage: Why Some Businesses Are Laughing All The Way To The Bank, Michael Kerr reflects that in this day and age, people who take themselves too seriously in the workplace are often taken less seriously by others. It reminds me of the joke about the humorless office worker who went for a promotion. He didn’t get it.

Studies and research show that humor in the workplace can be highly beneficial and drive up productivity, promote wellbeing, break down barriers and create a more human and authentic environment. That said, humor has boundaries that must be carefully observed and managed. Here are three essential habits to take into account when being funny in the workplace.

1. Familiarize yourself with the basic mechanics of humor.

There are many varieties of humor, e.g. self-deprecating, put-down, bonding, observational, verbal wit, slapstick, surreal, dark, bodily, etc. Some are more appropriate in a work environment than others. Pulling a chair out from under a colleague and passing gas in the elevator is clearly not appropriate and is sure to have you laughing all the way to the labor exchange. Being overtly offensive in the workplace is also strictly off-limits, and that includes put-down humor about peoples physical appearance. That line of comedy may seem like friendly banter, but can be highly derisive and, as Albert Rapp argues in The Origins of Wit and Humor, is a veiled form of superiority. It’s important to understand what each of these different forms yield. For example, self-deprecating humor can make you seem humble, approachable and down-to-earth, but when overused can give the impression of insecurity and lack of confidence. Insider jokes can be socially bonding but can also be cliquey and alienating to outsiders.

2. Use humor intentionally and with a purpose.

In More Funny, More Money, author Marty Wilson tells the story of a Southwest Airlines announcement: “Southwest Airlines would like to congratulate a first-time flyer on board today who is celebrating his 89th birthday. Ladies and Gentlemen, how about a big round of applause for our pilot.” This announcement is purposeful; it makes people smile, humanizes what can be a depersonalizing experience and puts passengers at ease. But it’s also a crucial signal that announcements on this flight will be interesting, fun and worth listening to rather than reading in-flight magazines. The announcement contains both intellect and empathy. Humor in this context communicates emotional, social and cultural intelligence.

Related: 4 Ways to Use Humor as a Marketing Tool

3. Be on top of your game.

The plain reality is, using humor and jokes in the workplace carries a risk of some people questioning your sincerity and professionalism. In this case, it is very important to be on top of your game and focused on the details that will off-set these prejudices. In the classic courtroom drama, A Few Good Men, the lead counsel, Lieutenant Daniel Kaffee, prompts Navel Investigator, Lieutenant Commander Joanne Galloway, to question his professionalism. She seeks to get him removed from the assignment for his “fast-food, slick-ass, Persian bazaar manner.” Over time, though, she comes to regard him as an “exceptional lawyer” because of his raw abilities in the courtroom. It may be helpful to disclose to others that your use of humor is intentional and purposeful so that they understand that you are employing humor in a tactical manner.

The punchline….

Using humor in the workplace should not be stigmatized in this day and age. Indeed, this BBC business report examines how progressive companies such as Google, Twitter, Red Bull and Siemens are embracing more playful working cultures. And as a recent academic paper posits, people who use humor in an appropriate and intentional way are far from frivolous or flippant; they are behavioral change agents who seek to build a more natural, engaging, authentic and playful work environment and culture. They are among the most emotional and socially intelligent people in the workplace and tend to be genuinely happy, well-adjusted and successful in their work. And that’s not to be scoffed at.

Related: How to Be Funny in the Workplace 5 Reasons To Hire A Third-Party Supply Chain Success Isn’t About Making One Big Decision, It’s About Making a Million Small Decisions

This article originally appeared on entrepreneur.com

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Digital Detox in Google's operating system: time out for the android – SPIEGEL ONLINE

Getting rid of the temptations of the smartphone is more complicated with Android than with iOS. But even Android smartphones can be – depending on the manufacturer – more or less strong in the barriers.

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Just put away the smartphone is difficult for some

The wake of the smartphone is immense: new messages from friends, funny photos on Instagram, new videos on YouTube – and then you have to crack the next level at Fortnite. There is always a good reason to keep the smartphone in your hand or to get it out of your pocket. In order to escape the adhesive effect of apps, but there are in Android but appropriate functions.

We do not recommend third-party apps, because they may spread uncontrolled information about your usage behavior. Operating system's own functions are summarized under the menu item "Digital Wellbeing & Parental Control". The concept was first introduced in May 2018 and has been available in Google Pixel's Android 9 smartphones since the fall. With Android 10 it should get the other smartphones, it said. Samsung, Huawei and other smartphone manufacturers took the installation of the detoxing functions probably too long. They have now supplemented their own user interfaces with such skills.

At the moment you can find in Android the typical patchwork of solutions that sometimes work well and sometimes less well and are sometimes easier and sometimes harder to set. As a result, you can not tell from the Android version of your smartphone what digital wellbeing features it does. For example, while Google Pixel and devices with Android One – for example the Nokia 8 – also the Motorola One Zoom and the Galaxy S10 from Samsung have the wellbeing menu item, this is the case with the OnePlus 5T with Android 9 (Oxygen OS 9.0.8). not the case. Only with the version jump to Android 10, the function is actually common property – as in the just presented OnePlus 7T.

Found in "c't"

At Samsung, "Digital Wellbeing" has been introduced in the in-house user interface One UI, but not on all devices. The useful app control can be found on the Galaxy S10 (from One UI 1.1) and the Galaxy Note 10 (with One UI 1.5), but not yet on the Galaxy Note 8 (One UI 1.0).

The detoxing cures of the manufacturer

You can find out if your smartphone has corresponding functions via the Settings menu. There you will find the menu item "Digital Wellbeing" in pure Android; at Huawei he is called "Digital Balance", at Samsung "Digital Well-Being". The manufacturers understand this as functions that make it comprehensible to users, how intense and what they use their smartphones – and within limits allow corrective action.

Huawei Digital Balance informs about pauses between unlocks.

Google's "Digital Wellbeing" and Samsung's "Digital Wellbeing" differ only in nuances, such as in formulations. Huawei, on the other hand, has more autonomy in his Digital Balance function. So it warns quite comfortable even before a total too long service life of the smartphone.

Your time is over!

In pure Android, you can optionally display your own icon in the app list – to do so, tick the entry in the Wellbeing menu. When calling up the menu item or the icon, a dashboard appears, with which you can first get an overview. It shows how much time you spend with each application. In addition, you can at this point the individual apps time limits – in Android they are called timers – set, in 5-minute intervals. With Huawei and Samsung the timers are adjustable to the minute.

With the app limits you can set but not all apps limits: The access to the telephony app and on the settings menu can not be limited, with Huawei and Samsung, the camera and some system apps are excluded from the app time limits ,

The dashboard of Huawei Digital Balance shows that the locks can be secured by PIN.

With Android 10, users get slightly finer options. So each app can now be set in the respective app details its own limit; the way through the above dashboard is no longer the only one.

Too bad: With the app limits, only individual apps can be included, but not entire app categories such as social media apps or games. As practical as it would be to temporarily put whole categories to the curb – it does not work.

With the expiration of the time for an app limit, a note appears, by tapping the field "more information" you get to the dashboard, where you can simply override the limit. In Androids Digital Wellbeing and Samsung, so the developers have not installed a hard lock. Only parents can use the parental controls in the same menu item to regulate the useful life of their children from their own devices.

The Dashboard from Androids Digital Wellbeing gives an overview of the use of the smartphone.

On Huawei devices, when you reach an app time limit, a page-filling tip appears. Here, too, one can allow the further use immediately either quarter-hourly or grant the general absolution equal for the rest of the day. In addition, you can create locks for individual apps PIN-secured – or as a precaution to leave friends or partners, so you do not know the PIN.

Relaxation

Smartphones also need periods of time when the devices give users as little reason as possible to pick them up.

In Android, in the so-called relaxation mode, users specify by means of a schedule when the smartphone should automatically switch to the "do not disturb" mode or when the display should only display grayscale. For Samsung, this mode is called idle. Huawei calls it bedtime; In addition to the above options, Huawei's smartphones optionally block the use of apps except for self-selected exceptions, which is just as easy to circumvent as when the app's time limit is exceeded. Elegant is already the purpose of alienating the ultra-low power mode. This can then be used only up to six self-selected apps; Push services are switched off, but you have to set the silent mode yourself.

For "Do not disturb" many exceptions can be defined, so that important things do not go down.

One of the most striking behaviors of homo smartphonensis is the frequent in-the-hand-taking of the smartphone, to check "only briefly", if new messages have arrived. The Digital Wellbeing tool is powerless: The Dashboard shows how many times the device has been unlocked and apps have been opened, but does not provide a way to set a limit or to set compulsive pauses for opening apps.

Too harsh, the digital governess "Digital Wellbeing" does not go to court with too-many users. After all, Drastic media offers OnePlus for newer devices. The so-called Zen mode locks the device either for 20, 40 or 60 minutes. That's how long the user gets to almost nothing, whether he has a PIN or not. During this time, only the phone and camera app can start – otherwise, only the countdown runs on the display, until the self-imposed lock is off.

Rest, damn it!

While detoxing features are relatively new, you can set your phone to silent for a while, use vibration alerts or less intrusive ringtones, and adjust their volume. With the mode "Do not disturb" you can activate many settings in one step, if the smartphone should give it some rest.

In its hardest possible setting, the mode only allows calls from certain preset contacts, the display remains dark when an SMS or messaging message arrives and notifications are signaled either acoustically or by LEDs. With the handy schedules, the smartphone automatically turns on the request-do-not-disturb mode in certain time windows, such as at night.

How chatty are apps? The number of notifications helps to lock out the correct ones.

For the everyday situation that a smartphone just roars in the middle of a meeting – possibly with embarrassing ringing tone -, you can also provide. In the menu item "Settings / Do not disturb / Schedules" can be set, that the smartphone automatically sets the request-do-not-disturb mode for registered appointments in the calendar. In fine tuning can be set very fine granular any exceptions: So you can prevent the display of incoming messages, but allow, but also that a light emitting diode discreetly.

In our tests, the "do not disturb" settings did not always behave as desired. For example, even though alerts were invariably turned off, our Note 8 review device displayed incoming WhatsApp calls on screen. "Classic" calls or those via telegram, on the other hand, were suppressed as desired.

(Group) chats in messengers like WhatsApp or Telegram can grow to plague with a large number of popping up messages. Again and again activates the display, constantly buzzing the smartphone – because you can hardly resist. As of Android 10, alerts are sorted by. Above are the high priority, less important messages are landing lower. Unlike the channel notifications of notifications, the app sets these priorities, but the user: What you consider more important, you change with two finger tips directly in the bar.

New are Silent Notifications. They do not peep and do not make themselves obtrusively noticeable otherwise. With the notification bar extended, Android summarizes all the Silent Notifications so that they can be deleted in one go. However, here again the app determines what is "Silent" and what is important.

The relaxation mode regulates when the smartphone is less noticeable.

Even those who do not have Android 10 can stem the tide. Almost all messengers today allow you to specify separately for each conversation, whether notifications should appear for it and with what sounds you want the environment to share.

No sound in the cinema

Unless too long or at the wrong time, a smartphone can interfere or distract you in the wrong place. Unfortunately, Android's wellbeing feature does not analyze the location – the iOS solves better. For digital detoxing, the location is neither used in Android nor on the user interfaces of Samsung and Huawei.

After all, Samsung's assistant Bixby can create location-dependent routines reminiscent of the IFTTT automation tool ("If this then that"). However, Bixby only has access to a few relevant functions: Bixby automatically silences Samsung smartphones in certain locations, but apps are not locked out, apps are open, or screen time is down – bad for chronic WhatsApp and Facebook checkers ,

Notifications can be prioritized and less important ones become less intrusive.

Such functions would be easily imaginable: If you look at your location history via the timeline menu in Google Maps, for example, you will be able to easily trust an Android smartphone that detects it by localization, but also by the analysis of online ticket purchases in the Gmail account. that you are in a movie theater, and suggest switching to Please-Do-Not-Disturb mode. The same could be imagined for the workplace.

Laborious: profiles

Those who use the same mobile phone professionally and privately can use so-called profiles to prevent the spilling of occupational messages into their free time and – in other words – to prevent seminal messages from the cones group from being collected at the departmental meeting. For example, apps assigned to the job profile no longer send notifications when they're on their personal profile.

In practice, this is tedious and requires some storage space in the smartphone, because the second profile behaves, roughly speaking, like a second smartphone, which is booked under the same SIM card. After switching to the second profile, data stored in the first profile, such as photos or PDFs, can not be reached – unless they use the same Google Account. All apps needed for the second profile must be reinstalled and all account information needs to be re-authorized.

Different accounts make a rocky path to more peace.

What does it help?

Android's well-being function is as touchingly harmless as a cup of chamomile tea; iOS gives the user already more powerful medicine. The limits in Android are soft as wax, and for professionals in Prokrastinieren it is no problem to find workarounds: If the Facebook app is locked, you call the appropriate page via a browser – which is not in iOS. If in turn the Android browser runs into the limit, you instantly install a new one for which no limit is set.

Even if Digital Wellbeing shut down users from apps or even from the entire smartphone tough, that would be only device-related and not for all devices in the Google Account. In the evenings on the couch, one then reaches for an empty-shell smartphone for a tablet or for the actually discarded second device.

More at SPIEGEL +

Digital Wellbeing should therefore be seen as an eye-opener for one's own behavior. It gives a good overview of how long, how often and for what you use a smartphone; the app limits you set could interpret as a warning finger.

What works on the whole but properly: Notifications and sounds can be well tamed and at night, for example, completely turn off, but also define exceptions, so that important people can reach you at any time.

The fact that Android wants to extensively use user data for individually automated locking and rest functions is the toad that one has to swallow for it.

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