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Mod Update 18/10/23

Main blog for pillowfort is now revelrations, and I might make a separate account or a new blog if at all possible for fandom writing, though I might just use the tagging system to group my stuff.

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Mod Update 16/10/23

Gonna be migrating to pillowfort at some point. As much as I've loved this place, the state of it is just sad. I'll post what my main blog url is and my side blog url here, if I can have multiple. If not, I'll be utilizing tagging liberally.

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Shadowbone Cache

Riley's Notes: I don't know if anyone was wondering what happened to the Mayor in this AU, but here's your answer. Also, I used Behind the Name for his name and I adore it. PS: The title is a reference to a specific card in a card fighting game, and kudos if you know what that game is.

Dai Xie finally allowed his black tail to emerge from his body, long and whip-like, with a savagely pointed end. It curled around him, almost protectively as the characters on it, normally hidden began to glow softly.

His unnaturally wide smile was nowhere to be found.

Although the Bone Demon was finally gone, her influences on his mind were difficult to overstate. Everything in his head that he'd once been so afraid of, she normalized it. It made him feel like he didn't have anything to fear from himself, but he knew that these thoughts weren't normal. He had to be sick, in some way.

No matter. A sick smile spread across his face as he raised the edge of his tail to his throat, standing up on shaky knees. Just as his tail began to draw blood, he paused.

Maybe there was something left for him after all. Maybe things could change for the better, for him, at least, in the Bone Demon's absence... but it wasn't like he was going to make any friends after everything she'd encouraged him to do. Their world was so much unlike the one that he'd been preparing for, one where his mind would be cleansed of the nightmarish images that plagued him seemingly at random.

The arrowhead of his tail fell to the floor below him, and it was at that moment that one of his business partners chose to open the door. Red Son's eyes widened as he saw the true form of his advisor on the legal side of things, the man who helped with the paperwork.

The Mayor immediately rose to his feet and saluted, sweat rolling down his face as he flickered in and out of his true form, between a form that could pass as human... and that of a rare Demon with shale gray skin and simple, yet eerie curved horns. It gave him the appearance of a deal-brokering Demon, which, if he was one... would explain a lot of the fine print in the contracts Red Son had signed.

"So this is what you are..." Red Son narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms. He knew something had been up with his advisor, but now, he had it proven to him. The strange, earthy scent that emanated from the shadow Demon reminded the fire Demon of an abandoned cave in a tropical rainforest.

Dai Xie struggled to adjust his tie, forcing a smile despite the blood oozing from his neck. He tilted his head as he spoke. "It would only be fair for you to cauterize this, no? Such searing pain is only a just punishment for..." His smile vanished, giving way to something a little more sane as Red Son reached out to pat his shoulder.

"No. I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy, but if you don't have the same healing capabilities I do, that cut might will need treatment." Red Son clapped his hands twice, then muttered something in Mandarin as the previous sound drew the attention of one of the innumerable spider robots that wandered around the building. The eight legged machine scuttled off while Red Son was left to comfort the head of his legal team.

Red Son gestured for the other Demon to sit down at the meeting table, then took the bandages from the robot when it returned with them. As he used them to wrap up the cut on his advisor's neck, he watched him with a certain sense of sympathy due to all of the shaking that wracked Dai Xie's body.

Red Son spoke with relative caution, as he wouldn't wish this kind of stress on anyone. It had a few too many signs that reminded him of panic attacks, if what he'd overheard from Syntax's psychology ramblings was accurate.

"So. Xie, what's on your mind?" The informal tenor he'd taken sliced through the tension in the air with great ease.

Dai Xie chuckled, a forced, anxiety-inducing sound, if Hai'Er was being honest, but the way his entire expression fell into a cold, lifeless stare drove it home. "You don't want to know that."

Red Son forced the anxiety down. He'd made a promise he intended to keep, and he wasn't going to let this knock him down. After all, there was less danger here now anyway, what, with all three of the Pyres lit.

The shadow Demon across from him paused as the lines in his eyes, which served the same purpose as a heart monitor's, flatlined for a few tense moments. Red Son didn't move, and when Dai Xie's heart resumed beating as it normally did, the shadow Demon breathed a sigh of relief more obvious than Red Son's.

"I, er, apologize deeply, sir." Dai Xie's hand rose to his collar, until Red Son grabbed his wrist, giving him a stern glare. The lawyer's heart rate spiked as he forced a smile, holding his hands up as if there was a weapon pointed at him. Red Son sighed and sat down next to his advisor.

"...I just need to know what you're going to need for your office. The mere idea of a hostile work environment drives me crazy." Those words had Dai Xie flatlining again for a few moments, his head almost limp on his shoulder. It was eerie, but Red Son had seen it just enough that it didn't unsettle him as much as the first ten times he'd seen it happen.

Dai Xie shook himself off. "I, er... would greatly appreciate softer lights for my office, but I didn't know if I was allowed to install them since they'd be on my dime. I'm most comfortable in the dark, where... where I can't be seen."

Red Son had figured that the dark dweller hid himself so much for a reason. He had resigned himself to communicating with his team from his office, which he usually kept locked, with the lights off save for his computer monitor and a standard nightlight plugged into a wall outlet. The fire Demon wasn't surprised that he wanted less light, as standard nightlights could still be too bright for a photosensitive Demon.

"Alright, I'll see what I can do, and if you find what you're looking for, don't be afraid to bring it into the office. The worst you'll get is a few weird looks from some of the staff."

"...alright. I don't want to be stared at... but it's a small price to pay for a bit more comfort in my office." As Xie's shoulders fell, Red Son couldn't help but relax shortly afterwards, glad that his trusted advisor could find at least a little bit of respite in such trying times.

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Mod Update 09/08/23

A little off schedule. I'm sick and I won't be posting until this clears up, for my sake.

- Mod Riley

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A Quiet Calamity

Tag List: @skellebonez,

Riley's Notes: Knock knock bitch, it's angst o'clock. Nezha has to go talk to Ao Guang because he feels obligated to. He is NOT received the way he expected because this AU is supposed to have themes of trauma and recovery. Also, CW for referenced suicide as per Nezha's myth. Also note I am working on something else at the moment and this blog isn't high on my priorities right now.

He'd always known this would be the hardest part.

As Nezha made his way through the underwater, yet watertight city, he could feel a sinking sense of dread, a sense of fear that made his skin crawl... and that made the venom in his veins burn far worse than the restraints that had been used to subdue him. The Deity flinched as he caught glances of the distant descendants of the still-living children of Ao Guang, innumerable Dragons who each paused to look at him.

He could feel them staring, feel their judgement, feel their hatred for taking one of their ancestors from them. Nezha sighed, crossing his arms as he allowed the Fire-Tipped Spear to be taken by the Huan-Tian Ling Sash. The armillary sash clasped the spear firmly, wrapping itself around the blade in a blatant reminder of the blood that still couldn't be washed off, despite its invisibility.

Each step began to feel heavier, like someone was dragging him down, trying to stop him from going further. Still, he persisted, even though he could feel the fear of his younger self as he struggled to slow him down, even enough to stop.

No.

The only thing he had to fear was fear itself.

Nezha walked up the steps to the grand East Sea palace, even though each piece of cut material felt sticky, like his feet would be glued to them. Still, he marched on, until he was close enough to knock on the front gates of such an enormous building.

The deity hesitated, but soon enough, two knocks on the palace doors reach his ears, and now all he could do was wait.

The East Sea Dragon King opened the doors. His eyes widened for a moment, then narrowed, brow furrowing. This man had some nerve to be here, at his palace, after all of the blood on his hands and on his spear. One of the Dragon's sons had met his fate to this man long ago, but the Dragon's wrath faltered as he saw the tired bags under the Deity's eyes, and the way he carried himself. He behaved as if he was under duress, and as if he had been forced here.

He had no will of his own.

"What did they do to you...?" Ao Guang's voice brought Nezha pause. The Deity's eyes widened as the electricity in his veins died down, and with it, his tremors. Well. If there was any kindness, any love, to be found in this terrifying place, he wasn't letting that lie.

Nezha sighed. "Only the ones that love me would believe the answers I have for that question, and I can count them on one hand. Hong Hai'Er, Bai Xian, His Highness Erlang Shen, and Lady Lian Lanhua. Although Sun Wukong and Chang'E might be applicable, which would make six."

The East Sea Dragon King released a heavy breath.

"I will not press you for an answer you are unwilling to give... but you underestimate how many cartoonishly evil acts I have heard of, witnessed, and done..."

Nezha couldn't help but restrain a chuckle. Cartoonish evil? He'd been privy to that, privy to the worst of it. He'd been a victim of it. Sure, Ao Guang had his reasons, but nothing justified it. Nothing ever would.

"Like forcing a child to-" The Deity stopped and pulled away, the icy claws of dread sinking into his heart.

"...I... I should take my leave-"

Ao Guang grabbed his wrist.

When the shorter immortal turned to him, he realized that Ao Guang's brow had furrowed, expression and thoughts muddled.

"...No. This needs to be addressed.

I didn't have the right."

With those words, it felt like the world was closing in on him. Nezha could feel the stares, feel the judgement from across the city. His lungs felt like they were filling with fluid, filling with his own blood... just like that day. His vision swam as the steps shifted beneath his feet, all while the Dragon King remained steady on them.

Ao Guang caught the ancient Deity when his legs gave way beneath him. Some part of him just wished it would all stop, wished it would wait for him. But nothing and no one would wait for him...

He needed to rest.

~ ~ ~

Ao Guang carried the tiny Deity through the halls, arms firmly yet gently clasped around him. Where a 6'2 Deity had once stood and walked alongside him, a frightened, 4'6 child was now in his arms, trying so hard to trust one of the people who'd hurt him the most.

As the East Sea Dragon King sat down in his chambers, he let Nezha rest on his lap, running his claws through the little boy's hair. It was hard for him to miss the tremors from him that resulted from every touch, no matter how light, and it made Ao Guang's heart feel like it was made of lead.

"...do you promise...? Promise not to be a scary dragon...?"

Ao Guang retracted his claws, carefully adjusting to scratch behind Nezha's ears. Six hundred years ago, he wouldn't have known how important such a small gesture would be, but he'd come to appreciate a man he hadn't even liked before as a dear friend. It was only natural at this point.

Nezha released soft purrs, breaching the relative quiet of the room. For once, the scales felt familiar, soothing, and he couldn't help it. The tension in his body melted away entirely, as if he hadn't felt like he was choking on the steps mere hours before. As his heart slowed and his eyelids grew heavy, he finally felt the magics in his veins balance themselves. Finally, the volatility was quelled for a time, and Gods, had he missed this.

Ao Guang didn't move him, even after the little Deity fell asleep there.

Footnotes: FW!Nezha sometimes regresses as a trauma response and defense mechanism. It's the only way he can fully block out his traumatic memories for lengths of time. This is how I chose to integrate both his child and adult forms into this AU, as both depictions are important.

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It's just my... reflection... in the mirror, nothing more...

Why am I still afraid?

Digital art. Done with Krita, and I quite obviously do not know how to shade yet, but I did what I could to make this design unsettling. I also apologize for my proportions not being quite right. It is supposed to feature a corrupted version of his outfit, of his tail, and twisted variations of his motifs while his artifacts retain their divine power. Note that Sydney's ichor is too impure for him to summon his celestial armaments, outside of the Wind-Fire Wheels and Red Armillary Sash. Also note how his hair has a motif from the Lady Bone Demon, as well as the pagoda-like shape. This was not intentional at first, but I went with it because it adds to the twisted air of Nezha's new form as Sydney.

This is by no means a final design, but it feels like an upgrade from what is currently set as the blog icon.

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Mod Update 9/22/23

Since I've had this in the works for a chunk of yesterday and I am actually proud of this design, I will be posting a drawing of Sydney soon, probably over the weekend. It's a huge glow up from the blog icon and I'm very proud of the design principles that I've used in the sketch so far.

Teaser: He has a corruption motif mixed in with his spiders and lotus petals.

-Mod Riley

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Mod Update 9/20/23

Going on hiatus. My computer's old hard drives gave out and I had to switch to Linux.

-Mod Riley

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Tenebris

Tag List: @skellebonez, @caxycreations

Riley's Notes: The title is a song reference to an Ultrakill OST. Catch it if you can. PS, I kinda struggled to write this one. Summary: Yang Jian leaves his palace for the first time in a long time in a desperate attempt to stop the Snake Zodiac from wreaking havoc in her search to find Nezha.

He had to find her before she could snap.

Yang Jian dashed through the streets at such speeds that it was as if he had never been there. No one even had time to register his presence, or any trace of it, until after he had passed them. Every movement was fitting of his godhood, yet the purpose that clung to his heel flew in the face of the monster he'd used to be.

The notion was one of few that took the edge of that guilt off.

The ancient Deity skidded to a halt as he caught the sight of vivid teal around him. That couldn't have been a good sign, he thought to himself, and he quickly pursued the figure, taking care not to be seen. The closer he got, the colder his blood grew.

Bai Xian hissed, wrath and determination clawing at every fiber of his being. They weren't making any progress yet. They hadn't found a damn clue as to what had happened to their lotus, why he wasn't home yet. As the serpent staggered, leaning against a street lamp, she couldn't help but stare into the pavement, wondering what it would feel like to paint the concrete with the ichor or those damn pricks on their high horses... those damn fools who thought they were above accountability.

As Xian rose to her feet, the Deity pursuing them inadvertently locked eyes with the serpent as she turned to him. The air that clung to the Viper Lord was completely different than what Yang Jian was used to. He'd been afraid of this.

Bai Xian's circlet manifested around his disheveled hair, and the robes the serpent wore were quickly stained with powerful elemental magics, turning them from black to a deep blue. The elemental markings that befit the Zodiac of the Snake covered the fabric that he wore, staining it with the colors of the forces of Nature themselves.

Even so, Yang Jian had to try.

"Please, Bai Xian, my dear, come home with me. We can talk about this over tea, but your haste, and your craving for violence, will not do us any favors. I miss him, as well. Have you forgotten that he is my son?"

The serpent turned to face him, her mascara having dripped down her face and dried there. The sight of the serpent's redone winged eyeliner combined with the mascara tears and eye bags made Jian's heart freeze.

There weren't a lot of reasons why they let this happen.

"You of all beings should know it is unwise at best to get in my way. I must find him." The serpent dug his claws into his cheeks; any harder and he would have drawn his blood. "Every moment away from him is torture. I am decaying in his absence, I rot without his embrace. I feel my own mind slipping away from me without him here. I must find him, and you will not stop me."

Jian's eyes widened. He could almost hear the church organs playing now as the Viper Lord gathered their power, more than prepared for a confrontation. He refused to draw his spear, unwilling to wield it against someone he held so dear.

And yet.

"Xian, please, you must see reason. There is nothing for you here, he will come home in due time. There are no forces conspiring against us, for who would have such nerve? There is no one in this world who has that kind of audacity anymore."

The Viper Lord stared Yang Jian dead in the eyes, summoning twin cursed blades that the Gods had prayed to never witness again. "You should not even try to underestimate the horrific deeds your kind is capable of, Yang Jian. The atrocities that Celestial Animals and Demons alike have suffered at the Divine's hands are innumerable and unforgivable, and for that... for that..."

Jian watched as icy claws dug into his heart. The pavement beneath his feet seemed to cling to them, all while his heart beat faster to an unheard rhythm.

"I will bathe the land in the blood of its false idols."

Footnotes: The fight was intense, and on a scale I'd compare to the s3 special finale. Yang Jian was eventually able to subdue Xian, as shown in The Great Devourer drop, and spent the next several months wearing himself thin in order to repair the damage to the city.

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Mod Update 9/11/23

Mod Riley: Madly drawing at the moment between a number of other things but I have more drafts now and two or three of which are halfway or over halfway done.

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Mod Update 9/9/23

Mod Riley: There is a post on Ao3 that is for the FW blog, but that I don't intend to port here. My posting schedule is likely going to remain slow, but there will be sporadic chaos and sugar fueled posting sprees.

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Mod Update 9/4/23

Mod Riley: Gonna start porting things to AO3 as my traumatized audhd brain will allow me. There might be some AO3 exclusive posts in the future. My AO3 is ScalyDramamaker, and my old works are only still there because I know someone enjoyed my old work, as bad as it is compared to my current skill level.

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Crash

"Hey, you've reached Yang Nezha. I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now, and if your name is Bai Xian, have patience. I'll be home soon."

Nezha's pre-recorded message played through Bai Xian's phone for the fourth time that hour, and the serpent nearly dropped her phone. He knew his partner would come home one day, but when, he didn't know. The snake could still almost feel the Deity's hands on their hips, and the desire for it to be real once more made their head swim.

When was the last time they'd spoken? She didn't remember. All they knew... was that their mind was starting to crack at the very foundations in the absence of the man they held so close. His presence equalized their temperatures. Xian's heterothermia left them cold at night and in the morning, while Nezha's internal flame was hard to satiate.

The absence of that tore at the seams of Bai Xian's sanity.

There was nothing in this world that could result in the kind of grief, in the kind of isolation that made the Viper Lord a puppet to her own emotions, to her own insanity, to her darkest desires and wishes. The snake could feel his pupils contracting with every passing second, sharpening into horrible slits as the hue of her scales shifted from navy blue to indigo in a matter of seconds.

Bai Xian crushed the ceramic mug in her other hand, then set her phone down. As he raised his hands to his veil, he swallowed harshly, closing his eyes in the calm and the quiet of the palace lounge. As the garment hit the floor, Xian's teal hair fell down over her shoulders, long and wavy, reminiscent of her favorite monster.

Medusa.

It felt fitting, how Xian had been deemed a monster in the wake of someone else's wrongs against them. It was fitting how now, Xian took the role of the Devourer, of a beast that would stain the sea red and gold with the blood of the Dragons and Gods alike who had ruined her, and who had started everything.

The ones who had broken her darling.

And now, the ones who refused to let them see him again. Xian took in a deep breath, conflicted. Nezha wouldn't want this. He'd get onto them for this, he'd scold the serpent for this. But he wasn't here now. He couldn't stop them.

~ Memory ~

Nezha walked in the front door to the Yang palace, sighing heavily. He was immediately beseeched by the greedy, urgent touches of the serpent that adored him so dearly. As she set her hands on his waist, he simply sighed, relaxing. What harm would they do, after all?

"Sshah... I missed you, darling lotus." Xian's purrs were almost intoxicating to hear, even more so the way they wrapped their tail around Nezha's, ever so gently. They were always mindful of what he was willing to do, how far he could go. Nezha smiled gently, wrapping his arms around the shorter immortal's shoulders. He was always here when he needed him.

"...I missed you, too, Xian." The way his voice was softer than velvet against the serpent's ears, that gentle, quiet intimacy... it was something they'd sorely missed. The ancient Deity set his head on the Viper Lord's shoulder, resting there while she admired his figure. He was strong, yet lean and lithe.

But he wasn't just a pretty face. Xian flicked her tongue out as the Deity pulled back to look at her, then set his hand on the serpent's cheek. They leaned into the touch, savoring how gentle and reserved he could be at times like this.

Nezha pulled his hand away, then set his forehead against the Viper Lord's. That intimacy without any heat to it, without anything beyond the connection between their hearts, it made both of their hearts sing. The trust they shared, the bond everlasting between them, it wouldn't be dying anytime soon.

~ Present ~

Whatever the hell they had, Xian loved it, Xian loved Nezha. His absence chipped away at their sanity, and as the serpent opened the grand double doors to the palace garden, a dreary air settled over the greenery.

All while Xian's facade slipped.

"If this is the will of the Gods... I will bleed them dry."

With those words, the serpent disappeared into the world beyond the palace gates.

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How did Lian come to be housekeeper to Erlang Shen? Was she always that, or did a chain of events lead to it?

Riley's Notes: I apologize greatly for the lateness of the answer.

As Lian receives the question over the PA her partner installed, she quickly turns the microphone on her desk on, allowing the inquirer to hear her.

Her voice is warm and inviting, but carries notes of distress within it.

"Oh, boy, that's a long story... Well, you see... it started when I was running away from my now ex. I had always been a devout follower of His Highness Erlang Shen as well as Yang Nezha." She taps her pencil on the parchment in front of her, distracted for a fleeting moment, then sighs.

"One of the nastier incidents resulted in me taking up the mantle of the previous Mantis Queen. That didn't save me from the consequences of the next incident, though. Nezha did. He took me to the Yang palace to treat my injuries, and I've been living here under the palace's eternally gracious host, Erlang Shen, ever since."

She bears a bright smile on her face, recalling a number of pleasant memories... but her expression fades and she shakes her head before she rises to her feet to go make a meal that her beloved brother would usually make.

You get the feeling that she has omitted something important.

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Prowl

Tag List: @skellebonez, @caxycreations

Riley's Notes: Here's how MK found out. >:) Summary: Sydney goes looking for prey, and targets someone he used to love. Fortunately, that someone has a trick up his sleeve, although not a very flashy one.

Sydney perched on top of the roof of the two-story building, a nice distance off of the pavement below. Sure, this wasn't entirely his element, but getting the chance to leave his lair and scout for potential prey wasn't something he'd just let slide.

The darkness of night gave him a significant advantage courtesy of his photophobic eyes... it made it all too easy to see the delivery boy scurrying through the streets on his scooter, headlights completely off. Who needed them when they had gold vision, after all?

Xiaotian sighed as he bolted through the night streets. Of course there was always someone that ordered this late. It made his blood boil, but it wasn't like he could do anything about it. It was what it was.

And he was easy prey, since he wasn't watching the rooftops. Sydney licked his lips, eager to fill his belly with something more substantial than what the other spiders typically gave him.

It was nice to sink his fangs into prey.

Sydney jumped across the rooftops in perfect sync with the scooter, keeping up easily. MK still hadn't noticed yet, but that didn't matter. He'd find out he was being hunted soon enough.

Something crashed into MK's scooter.

The driver squealed, struggling to right the vehicle before it could crash. With both hands on the steering wheel, he managed to stabilize it. He raised his head back to the road... only to lock his golden eyes with the soulless, lime green quartet of a spider demon. Xiaotian's blood ran cold, and the scooter crashed straight into the side of a concrete apartment complex, leaving cracks in it.

The two were flung from the scooter, stunned briefly, and when MK opened his eyes, the first thing he saw were the four glowing green eyes of the spider that had attacked him. He scrambled to his feet, summoning the Monkey King's staff as he did so, then gripped it firmly with both hands, more than ready to fight back. Sweat rolled down his cheek nonetheless, as those four eyes made his skin crawl.

Why did it have to be spiders.

MK could barely make out the figure, but could sense his powers from where he stood. The mixture of deadly toxins and Celestial ichor in the other being's blood brought MK pause, but it faded as he saw the spider bare their fangs. Caustic venom dripped from them, but what really stopped MK in his tracks was the hungry growl of the spider's stomach.

He swallowed hard. Well, it was better for him to go hungry than get eaten by this guy, right? MK fished out his late night snack out of his pocket, a small package of beef jerky. "H-here... eat th-this, not me." He offered the package to the spider that had accosted him, and as Sydney approached, MK couldn't help but shake.

It was better than nothing, and maybe his head would clear a little once he'd eaten something. Sydney used one of his four claws to tear open the package, then shook the toxin off of his claws, not wanting to sully the taste of his food with it. MK sat near the spider while he tore into the jerky, shivering at the sight of those vicious fangs.

Before the spider could finish, his pointed ears twitched and he put his hand on MK's phone. The absence of the pain in his stomach cleared his head beyond the single notion of food and to hunt something, just enough to keep him from moving as suddenly as his instincts wanted.

"Hm?" The shorter individual tilted his head, confused as to what the spider wanted, until the spider tapped on the cigarette jack on his phone, where MK's headphones would connect if they were wired. The Stone Monkey's eyes widened, and he handed his headphones to Sydney after turning the volume down a few notches.

The music caused the spider's eyes to widen. It felt... familiar, something he'd heard before. The notes from the guqin strings cleared the fog from his head.

In an instant, Sydney snatched MK's phone, and as MK grappled with him to get it back, the spider turned the flashlight setting on, causing its owner to pause. Sydney closed his eyes tightly as he turned the device around to point it at himself, but still hissed as the light burned his eyes.

MK froze.

"...Nezha?"

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Mod Update 8/31/23

Riley: Oh boy. Here we go again. I expect this to double in the upcoming months.

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Memories, Stained With Blood; Hearts, Carved From Sinew

Tag List: @skellebonez, @caxycreations

Riley's Notes: Hurt/comfort that also scratches the surface of the cruelty Nezha endured in the Funnel Webbed AU. All applicable CWs are in the tags.

It took very little to break the Central Altar Marshal. One just had to know what buttons to push.

Li Jing knew what buttons to push, knew where to stick his knife.

Nezha stood on the peak of the mountain, his body shaking with stress, with dread, at what he had finally gained the courage to speak about. There was no going back now, there couldn't be. He'd been struggling against himself for weeks to get himself this far. He had to tell his friend.

Sure, Sun Wukong wasn't the best kept together, but every once and a while, everything fell apart, and the Monkey King wasn't half bad at picking up the pieces and making sure everyone he cared about was okay. Nezha, thankfully, fell into that category of people he cared about, but it wasn't like either of them would admit it.

Seeing the ancient Deity in such a state made Sun Wukong wary.

"Listen, I know... I know I do not have the right to be here, but I spent a lot of time preparing myself for... a heavy topic of discussion I wish to make you aware of." Nezha swallowed hard, struggling to get his tremors under control. He could do this. He had to, he didn't have much of a choice. This was one of the first steps to truly making sure everyone knew the hideous, gory details of the way Heaven had liked to treat him... he had to give context to Sun Wukong for his sharp change in demeanor after they'd first met.

"...do you want to know why I... why I changed? Because that's what this is about."

Antares stepped aside as he saw the Deity's tremors worsen, as if he was ready to collapse at a moment's notice. Although they didn't have an obviously healthy relationship, the two had a deeper level of understanding between them than anyone could expect...

...for the darkest reasons imaginable.

Nezha took a seat in one of the padded chairs around Sun Wukong's recently refurbished cabin, moments before his knees would have buckled from the weight his heart was carrying with him. It was a wonder how he stayed standing, how he kept going and how he kept trudging forward... but a select few knew that he did it because it was all he knew. It was all he'd been taught. For all of his power, for all of incredible statuses...

The Central Altar Marshal breathed deeply before he spoke, his words uneven and catchy in his throat. "...you asked me when I stopped being fun, when I stopped being the bright, reckless and carefree young man that I'd once been... your answer is stained with my blood, Sun Wukong."

The monkey king paused, expression turning somber as he heard the words of one of his closest friends. The sun monkey turned to shut the door, then took his headdress off before he pulled a chair over. He sat across from his old friend, someone he'd drifted from when the tides changed and some fourteen hundred years had passed.

Nezha swallowed harshly, even as the venom in his veins burned his throat, reminding him that his time was running out. He had to make his peace before his mind was lost to the toxins coursing through his ichor.

"...they hurt you."

Sun Wukong's words were filled with a grim finality, a grim sense of certainty, like the deathblow that had been dealt to Nezha long ago, the blow that started the beginning of the end of the person he once was, of who he wanted to be. Nezha swallowed in response to those words, and without chiming anything in return, he broke his glamors...

...and the Monkey King's five times immortal heart stopped.

Those burn rings around the Deity's neck, upper arms, elbow, and wrists weren't even the half of the story, and it was still more than enough for the sun monkey to pause. Who could do such a thing to a Deity of such a high caliber? Who would dare to hurt his friend?

"Who."

The weight that a single word could carry could have never been more obvious. That word carried with it the crushing weight of a Demon who'd clawed his way tooth and nail to godhood, and had been thoroughly battered and shamed many steps of the way. That hatred was something Nezha had only heard of from those that hated the Monkey King.

Perhaps even those biased had a grain of truth.

It made Nezha's blood run cold. He refused to answer, and instead, the lotus on his tail closed, its pink shifting to indigo. As its scent dissipated, Sun Wukong blinked before he moved to sit next to his friend. He had to be there for him. Violence wouldn't solve anything now. His grudges, his hatred, his wrath could wait.

Nezha was more important, and he always would be.

Sun Wukong exhaled, and he made sure that the other immortal could rest, even if it was just for one day. He'd make sure it counted, make sure the troubled Deity had some support. He may never get what he needed, but at least he wouldn't be alone through his lowest points.

"I hate to admit it, Wukong, but..." The elder Deity hissed between statements as his cheeks flushed, and he spoke through gritted teeth. "I have frequent nightmares when I try to sleep alone. The worst part is that they tend to fail to wake me up."

Antares just smiled weakly. "Well, you're always welcome up here, even though it's... probably messier than you're used to... and I thought you said you didn't trust me."

"It's more complicated than that... I'll explain tomorrow." The Deity yawned, shaking his head with a soft grumble. It ill became him to be so tired before nine even hit, but it couldn't be helped with the state of his health.

Sun Wukong nodded, and as Nezha laid down in the spare bedroom, the monkey went to lie with him. He made sure to wrap his tail around Nezha's, which caused a lot of tension to evaporate from him.

As long as he had his friends, as long as he had his family, come Hell or high water, he'd get out of this. One way or another.