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[furinatism]

stone face (ace ventura x reader oneshot)

requested: yep!! heres to you, YourMomIsBlowingMe (i will never get over that username LMFAO) on wattpad

a piece of my heart will always belong to ace, the hyperfixation on both movies (and the cartoon) got me thru some tough times 😭

kinda unhappy with how this turned out but at the same time kinda proud... ironic i suppose! :P

You hated people. Always selfish, and always out to get you.

All your life, you'd worked dead-end jobs. Retail, customer service, fast food, hell, even a pyramid scheme. You did what you could to scrape by.

And then, you finally thought you'd made it big.

There were a few openings at the local sheriff's office- entry-level positions with little to no required previous experience. Nothing life-threatening or hands-on, though. More like taking phone calls and sorting papers.

Of course, you'd brushed off the offerings when you'd first seen them posted. Yeah, sure, wouldn't that be great. 

And then you saw the starting wage.

Now, here you were, filing 'important papers' for your local police station. You didn't really care about the contents of the files. You always just had headphones in, listening to Satie, or perhaps Chopin.

Most days were the same. Life was fairly bland, and the one joy of life was dancing around the filing room as you listened to classical music.

Coworkers came and went, and no one dared to bother you while you were on your break. Even your current supervisor (a temporary one at that- a few months before you began working there, a whole lot of corruption and conspiracy had went down, causing the previous supervisor to be jailed) barely spoke to you. You got your work done swiftly and efficiently, and didn't care much for socialization.

All had been relatively normal until he showed up.

You relished the peaceful days at the station. Little to no reports, barely any paperwork to file, and a quiet afternoon in the break room. But it seemed that 'peaceful' day would head in a much different direction.

When a brightly dressed, energetic individual entered the station, you were already thrown off. Boisterous people weren't your kind of crowd.

However, this man was more than just boisterous.

He had announced his arrival quite loudly, to your annoyance. He threw his business cards up in the air, letting the cheap cardstock flutter down to the floor. You couldn't help but wonder if he held a grudge against the janitorial staff.

As you pressed your headphones closer to your ears, hoping to drown out this man's incessant noisemaking, you felt your self-proclaimed safety blanket be snatched away.

"Well, well, what are we listening to?" The man's voice came out in a drawl, surprisingly smooth. You snapped your head up, and the bright figure wore a shit-eating grin as he spun the headphones in his hand before slapping them over his own ears.

"Ah! Variation 5 from Paquita, correct?" he chatted idly, spewing some nonsense fact about the ballet. You glared up at him, grabbing your headphones back quickly as he was distracted by the sound of his own voice.

He shrieked dramatically, placing his hands on his head. "Hey, hey! Watch the 'do, woulda?!" His cries fell upon deaf ears as you adjusted your headphones.

"Don't make a fool of yourself, Ventura! That there's Y/N, they've been here for a few months and don't take shit from nobody!" One of your middle-aged female coworkers cackled at her own description of you, slapping you on the back much harder than you're sure she meant to.

You stumbled forward as a result of her force, your headphones being knocked out of your hands. You cursed under your breath, glaring back up at this 'Ventura' man as you picked your saving grace back up off of the floor.

'Ventura' stuck his hand out, imploring you to shake it. You did so, albeit extremely reluctantly. As his warm hand encased yours, you glowered.

"The name's Ace, Ace Ventura. I'm a... heh, pet detective. And ya see, I'm here to celebrate my three month anniversary of SHOWING UP THIS WHOLE STATION! OH YEAH!" He pulled his hand away to, well, pelvic thrust victoriously. You stifled a laugh at his antics, and your coworker made a strangled noise of shock.

"Well look at that, Ventura! You nearly cracked the stone face!" she joked. Ace tilted his head, staring at you.

"Stone face? What are you talking about, Montoya?" he inquired. You clenched your jaw, attempting to walk off. However, Montoya held you in a vice grip.

"Well, Y/N here hasn't cracked even a smile since they first started working here. Matter of fact, me and the guys were startin' to think it was impossible for them to show an emotion other than apathy!" she hollered, her dry fits of laughter becoming slightly grating to your ears.

Montoya was one of the few coworkers you could tolerate. She was motherly, but in a rough way. She gave off a tough-love vibe, the kind of woman to noogie you and smack you if she caught you underage drinking. Sometimes, though, she still got on your nerves.

Ace smirked slightly, and you grew even more irritated. "That so?" he teased. "Well, I bet I can get 'em to laugh by the end of the year, Montoya!" She stuck out her hand, and as they shook, they announced in unison, 'deal!'.

You threw your arms up in defeat, groaning. "Maybe your deal should be to see who can stop talking about me as if I'm not even here by the end of the week!" you cried. Slipping your headphones back on, you walked back to your filing room.

Finally, peace and quiet.

You hated Ace Ventura most of all. Out of every person you'd ever met, you were sure you despised him the most.

Your once-quiet and enjoyable breaks were now interrupted by your headphones being taken suddenly and a familiar voice sounding out from behind you, an irritating 'guess who?' leaving his lips.

You would immediately stumble to get your music back desperately, and each time he would name exactly the song you were listening to.

At this point, you were honestly surprised. Who knew such a foolish, idiotic man had such knowledge on works featured mainly in ballets?

And then, one day, he had caught you dancing along as you did your work.

You had never prided yourself in your dancing, but you had endlessly studied certain ballets for years on end. Call it a hobby or an obsession- either way, it was what got you by.

You were shocked when a pair of arms wrapped around you, lifting you up at the exact moment you had planned to check if the door was still closed.

"Guess who, sugarplum?" he sang cheekily, spinning you around slightly. You screamed, unable to control your sudden outburst of giggles. 

"Hey, please, put me down!" you shrieked, still laughing as he held you close. You tried to ignore the way your body temperature rose at his proximity to you, and the way his arms were wrapped around you...

His voice was unnaturally low now as he muttered, "Told ya I could make you laugh." You furrowed your brow, annoyed once again.

"Go back to whatever it was you were doing, Ace! Tell Montoya about your little bet, and that you won, alright? But leave me out of this shit," you sneered. As you continued your work, you could tell Ace hadn't moved from where he stood. He stood there, still watching you, unmoving.

"What? Go on, you won your deal! Now go."

"That was the first time you said my name," Ace cooed, a stupid smile making its way onto his face. You rolled your eyes, turning away again.

"I like it when you say it. It's a lot better than the other names you call me," he joked. You cracked a smirk at his words.

"What? You mean shithead, bitchboy, and bastard aren't endearing enough for you?" you teased, and Ace let out a laugh.

You sighed once again, trying to push down the feelings that arose over his laugh. "Just... go now, please."

You would never admit that you had wished he would've stayed.

The station's New Year's party wasn't an event you had been chomping at the bit to attend. However, with incessant urging from Montoya and Ace, you resigned yourself to a night of observing drunken buffoons.

The partying never seemed to take a break. Montoya was already shitfaced by the time you got there, while you couldn't seem to find Ace anywhere.

"H-hey, Y/N!" Montoya stuttered out, her words slurring together. She leaned on you for support, despite your body nearly being crushed by the woman's much more muscular frame.

You coughed- her breath reeked of alcohol. "Jesus, how much did you have to drink?" The woman simply cackled at your words, grabbing a random solo cup from a nearby table.

"Oh, please Y/N! My fun has just begun!" She downed yet another swig of beer- or was it whiskey? You weren't sure what this party had to offer- before growing closer to you once again. "I'm surprised, Ventura said he couldn't get you to crack even the slightest smile. And now, here we are, end of the year. I guess he'll be losing!" 

Your breath stopped momentarily, the shock seeping in. "A-Ace said that?" 

He didn't tell her that he won their stupid little game? I guess he's... a little more mature than I gave him credit for?

Your train of thought was disrupted by Montoya's drunken squealing.

"I did it! Ha! You cracked a smile, I WIN! I'm gonna go tell that cocky Ventura right now! He's going to piss himself, hell yeah!" 

You watched as Montoya slugged away, a small smile still on your face. You covered your mouth quickly, not wanting to draw anymore attention to yourself.

"How's it goin', sugarplum?" Ace purred, sliding into the space beside you. You turned away from him, desperate to hide your grin and the heat rushing to your face.

"A-Ace, I haven't, um... I didn't, oh, um..." Your words caught in your throat, and you had to stop yourself from burying your face in his chest that instant. He slowly moved your hand away, letting out a dramatic gasp as he witnessed your smile.

"Y/N L/N, smiling?! This isn't normal, you need to see a doctor this instant!" he shouted. Luckily, with the rest of the party noise, his showing off was drowned out. He pressed a hand to your face, pretending to be feeling for your temperature.

"Oh, my!" he exclaimed, a girl-ish Southern drawl being added into his eccentric speech as he continued, "Looks like you've caught yourself a fever right there!"

You ducked away, trying not to laugh. "Ace, enough! Now, being serious. You didn't tell Montoya about how you won your stupid deal?" you inquired. Ace sucked in a breath through his teeth, placing his hands on his hips.

"Well darlin', what can I say? My reward was just getting to see you happy," he teased, cupping your face gently. You felt like your eyes were going to bulge out of your skull as he leaned in.

Your moment, however, was interrupted by a victorious Montoya.

"Guess what, Ventura! I did it! I cracked that stone face like an egg, I'll tell ya! So you lost, and I won! Suck on that, pet boy!" she screamed, throwing her arms up (and subsequently sloshing the mysterious alcoholic beverage in her cup around haphazardly).

Ace chuckled, bringing you in closer to his side with an arm wrapped around your waist. "What can I say, Montoya. You won! But as you'll soon come to find, I've won a bigger prize," he said smoothly, fingergunning at the woman. In her buzzed stupor, she just shrugged and walked away.

You turned to face him, an unimpressed look on your face.

"Really? Now that was cheesy. What's next, you're gonna kiss me as the new year rings in?" you teased, pursing your lips.

Ace let out a fake laugh, pulling you in flush to his body. You looked away instinctively as he leaned in close, whispering to you as he had the day he won that foolish game.

"On the contrary, my dear, I've never been a man who likes to wait."

[furinatism]

ace ventura masterlist

ace ventura x reader oneshots

stone face.

ace ventura x gn reader series

chapter 1. chapter 2. chapter 3. chapter 4. chapter 5. chapter 6. chapter 7. chapter 8. chapter 9. chapter 10. chapter 11. chapter 12. chapter 13. chapter 14. chapter 15. chapter 16. chapter 17. chapter 18. chapter 19. chapter 20. chapter 21. chapter 22.

desc below the cut!

(i originally published this on wattpad so here's the description from wattpad)

crackfic-esque. writing this bc im hyperfixated on these stupid movies and i have no other outlet for said hyperfixation. pls help me.

this takes place in between the first and second movies.

the reader's appearance isn't ever described so this is poc friendly, all-body types friendly, all that good stuff. gender neutral aside from one joke that could suggest reader is afab but it's never brought up again. warning for language and innuendos/dirty jokes ig. idk if u already watched the ace ventura movies you'll be fine. afab reader but gender neutral mostly. fanfiction is written in all-lowercase (sorry im working on rewriting with proper capitalization) but there shouldnt be any grammar/spelling mistakes otherwise.

(the best written crackfic this town has ever seen)

~30k words total.

[furinatism]

ACE VENTURA X READER — epilogue

warnings: none! :) happy ending <3

"dr. ventura!" a voice called, turning down the hallway. your office was situated near the front of the building so that your colleagues could reach it easily.

you smiled, looking up from your files on the various pet patients of your clinic to meet the person behind the voice.

"what is it, morgan?" you asked, getting up from your seat. the girl- no, you shouldn't call her a girl anymore. she was a young woman now, after all. she shuffled slightly, smiling awkwardly.

"um, there are no more patients for the day. do you need help with anything?" she asked. you laughed, patting her on the back gently. "not at all! go on, you've worked hard today! you can go home for the day."

morgan and her parents were eventually reunited, but things didn't stay stable. their daughter was changed beyond repair- the girl who used to be a bubbly cheerleader was now a quiet 'freak' who refused to make eye contact with anybody. you wanted to keep looking out for her, of course. you and ace tried your best to support her when her parents couldn't, and the two of you let her move in with you temporarily once she turned eighteen. you offered her a job at your clinic until she could find what she wanted to do. she went to therapy weekly, and used one of ace's dogs as a therapy dog.

morgan nodded, smiling slightly. "y-yes, of course! thank you, y/n." she turned away quickly to go start your shared car. wasn't it a wonder that after all of her psychological damage, she could still relearn how to drive?

you locked up your office for the night, making your way to the receptionist desk. laikyn and janice both sat there, taking care of files and records. you smiled at the women, waving.

"g'night, ladies!" you chirped, and they both returned the sentiment.

fieldpool & co. was shut down not long after arthur's death and milton's arrest. plenty of the employees were able to get right back on their feet- after all, they had reputable, desirable positions.

however, the two remaining secretaries of fieldpool & co. could easily be found elsewhere for companies hiring. so, when you opened your own clinic, you knew you needed to hire them. janice had been nothing but kind, and while you and laikyn had gotten off to a rocky start, she was one of the key elements leading to milton's arrest.

you set the nightly alarm and made your way to the car. morgan was sitting in the passenger seat, meaning she wanted you to drive. after long work days, sometimes she didn't want to speak; you had learned to pick up on her nonverbal cues, however.

you drove to the house you and ace now resided in (along with morgan), ready to laze around after working all day. you were sure ace was already in bed waiting for you.

you and morgan were greeted with countless animals as she went off to her room and you went upstairs.

there, you found ace in your shared bed cuddled up with snuffy and callie. snuffy was an old woman now, and therefore more crabby than before. however, she was never opposed to letting her 'parents' snuggle with her.

you quietly did your nightly routine, slipping into pajamas. as you snuck into bed, ace groaned.

"what took ya so long, babe?" he muttered gruffly. his voice still brought butterflies to your stomach. you laughed, cupping his face as you pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"just work, as always. and anyways, don't you have a raccoon to go save tomorrow or something?" you remarked snidely, still trying to keep up the playful atmosphere despite how badly you'd miss him.

he groaned again, squeezing your hand. "yes, but that's easy work for me, doll! what you really need to worry about is me not getting a good nights rest because i don't have you by my side!"

you couldn't help but giggle at your husband's pout. "i need to work to make money, ace. besides, whose name is on the deed?" you teased. he suddenly growled, enveloping you in his embrace. you shrieked out of surprise, still returning the hug.

he held you tightly, kissing the top of your head. "trust me, y/n. i know how important your job is. you know that nobody's more proud of you than i am!" you smirked.

"of course, of course. now please, get some rest, darling," you cooed. ace held you even tighter. he noticed your staring and smirked.

"you like what you see?" he teased, reminiscing your first encounter. you groaned, pulling him closer.

"you're lucky i love you, ventura."

[furinatism]

ACE VENTURA X READER chapter 21

warnings: mentions of therapy, mentions of court

you and ace had been living together for about three months now, a happy couple. snuffy got along great with all of ace's animals, especially callie.

you two slept in the same bed every night now. callie and snuffy would curl up at both of your feet, leaving ace with spike. the nightmares of milton were frequent at first- some were about witnessing his hypnoses, arthur's death, snuffy's kidnapping, while others were about real events which had happened.

you relived your kidnapping everyday, along with the day you had found snuffy had been stolen. however, you tried to move past it the best you could. between you and ace's wages (especially the money he had earned from the snowflake case), you could live comfortably. you went to therapy weekly to try and deal with the PTSD of the kidnapping and near-death experience. some nights, you would have nice dreams of you and ace, or maybe you and snuffy. sometimes, your dreams involved you going to work as though milton had never been there- arthur alive, all being well. you woke up crying on those nights.

as much as fieldpool & co. had taught you, and as much as you had went through while being there, you knew that you couldn't go back. the memories, good and bad, would be too much for you to bear.

you had been seeing your therapist more frequently as milton's trial date came closer. you weren't sure of the tactics to use when facing your captor in court for the first time in months, but you were glad to now have a support system.

the nearer the trial drew, the more time ace spent with you. taking you out on nice dates, travelling, buying you whatever you desired (which wasn't anything too expensive). and when the day finally arrived, you nearly broke.

seeing milton face-to-face again filled you with an immediate urge to run away. but you knew to do your testifying business quickly, and then it could all be over.

ace was there for you every step of the way, squeezing your hand to comfort you. milton was ruled as guilty- his lawyers tried to prove him to be unfit to stand trial. somehow, he was put away for a long while.

ace didn't allow milton to speak to you nor even look at you. you both left as quickly as you could.

months turned to years, and you eventually were in a good enough place mentally. of course you would never forget what had happened, but it no longer controlled your life.

you were finally in your last year of veterinary school- ace's job paid enough to supply you with the means to do so.

and now, ace was leading you somewhere as you covered your eyes. he had the idea of blindfolding you, but knew that might trigger some of your worse memories.

you giggled. "ace, where in the world are we going!?" he only hushed in response.

"can't tell ya, hun! it's a surprise, remember?" he teased, and you huffed.

you felt ace push through a door, and a bell rang. you furrowed your brow in confusion at the noise. where is he taking me?

you heard ace shush loudly, and your perplexion only grew. finally, he breathed deeply before telling you to uncover your eyes.

you were met with a sweet smell, along with a pastel building. as you surveyed the area, your eyes caught on...

"cats!" you exclaimed. excitement bubbled in your chest. "you brought me to a cat cafe?!" you chimed. ace nodded, smiling proudly. you barreled into him, hugging your boyfriend tightly.

"thank you, baby!" you cried, voice muffled by his shirt. he circled his arms around you, chuckling.

"it's nothing, sweetheart. you know i'd do anything for ya." he winked, kissing you on the cheek.

you basically rocketed into the cafe, making sure to give every cat attention. they all seemed obsessed with you, pawing at you and following your every move.

"y/n," ace spoke, voice trembling slightly. you turned to see him on one knee, cats clambering all over him. he laughed nervously as your mouth fell open, face flushing red from shock.

he brought the beautifully-made ring out from his pocket, gazing up at you with slightly glassy eyes.

"y/n... you've made every day of my life more of an adventure than i thought was possible, and... at the same time, you manage to keep me tethered to reality. if you would, please become mx. ventura?" his voice wobbled, grasping your hand. you knew marriage was a touchy subject for the both of you- ace, who previously had commitment issues, and you, who had almost been forced into a marriage. but words escaped you, and with the tears building in your eyes all you could manage was a nod as ace embraced you, callie and snuffy coming out from behind the receptionist's desk to congratulate the two of you.

as ace kissed you softly, the cats seemed to exchange another glance. snuffy looked to the younger cat with a looks like we're sisters now. callie mewed excitedly.

never again would you groggily sit on your couch alone, simply scrolling absentmindedly through the channels on the television. but you couldn't bash it too much- after all, it got you to where you are now.

[furinatism]

ACE VENTURA X READER chapter 20

warnings: hospital setting, hospital equipment

when you finally woke from your unconscious state, it was an assault on your senses at first. the stark white walls of the hospital room struck you at first, along with the fluorescent lights. the whirring of the lights and all of the technology surrounding you distracted you from the hand gripping your own.

when you finally adjusted, you noticed the weight on your chest and midsection. there sat callie and...

"SNUFFY!" you cried, jolting your cat awake. ace, who had previously fallen asleep holding your hand, came back to. he noticed your linked hands and tried his best to ignore it, not wanting to call attention to it just yet.

you wrapped an arm around your cat, kissing the top of her head softly. you allowed yourself to finally cry, you had gotten your cat back at last.

you squeezed ace's hand, face growing warm from the fact you were even holding it in the first place. ace immediately stiffened, coughing awkwardly.

callie mewed, trotting up to press her nose to your face. you giggled hoarsely, rubbing your thumb over ace's hand now.

he finally opened his mouth to speak. "so... i guess i did my job right," he shifted awkwardly in his seat. you swallowed hard. right. come back to reality, y/n.

"y-yeah..." you trailed off, pulling your hand away. you remembered one of the last things ace had heard you say- when you told milton that you loved ace instead.

your veins froze. milton. your eyes went as wide as saucers, and you turned to ace. "what... happened?"

ace slowly explained everything to you, treading carefully over certain details. upon hearing about morgan, your breath hitched. the poor girl had been kept longer than you had, and was much younger...

"but you're safe now, and they found snuffy. she's okay, y/n, everything's okay now." your heart panged at ace's comforting words. you knew that everything was technically okay, but you wouldn't be alright until you asked him one question.

"ace... what are we?" you regretted the words as soon as they came out of your mouth. you clutched snuffy close, kissing her nose as you tried to distract yourself from ace's serious expression.

you had only ever known the man as easygoing and fun, so seeing him look so contemplative... needless to say, it was unnerving to you.

ace sighed heavily. "well... i know what you said to milton. and i didn't take it to heart at all." you frowned, inspecting snuffy's fur out of habit. so he didn't take any of it seriously? you really had poured your heart out, sure you were going to die. but he thought you were too pathetic to ever be loved by him, didn't he? after all, it's just business.

"i knew you said what you had to in order to spite milton, but... we both know you didn't mean it. sure, i tricked myself into thinking even for a moment it was true, but... that's just blind hope. i just want you to know that... that i care a lot about you. i... had a lot of regrets these past twelve days. before you had left for your date with milton, i... wanted to tell you i loved you. because i figured it would be as good a time than ever. and when i found you had been kidnapped, i knew i had to get you back. and then i watched you almost die in front of me... needless to say, i was regretting a lot of my choices," he chuckled dryly. your voice was caught in your throat, shock evident on your face. ace continued nonetheless.

"i stayed here everyday with you, along with snuffy and callie. i... needed to be here when you finally did wake up. to at least tell you how i feel. and i'm okay that you don't feel the same, because i'm not going to kidnap you and force you to marry me! i just need you to know how i feel before we have to finally part ways."

you bit down on your tongue hard enough to draw blood, glaring at ace. "ventura, you're the biggest fucking fool i've ever met," you hissed. he looked at you, confused.

"i meant every last word i said to milton. i love you, more than i think i'll ever love anyone else. when you choked up in the car and didn't say you loved me, i felt like an idiot. if you had just told me then and there you felt that way, i would've slapped milton and told him to give snuffy back immediately!" you laughed. ace smiled slightly, reaching out to pet callie.

"because... that's what you do, ace. you make me feel more alive than i ever have. all the years of never fitting in, of disappointing everyone... none of it matters anymore, as long as i know i can be with you."

ace gulped. "s-so, about... about the payment for snuffy..." he trailed off. you glared at him again. seriously? talking about money at a time like this?!

ace chuckled, cupping your cheek. "it's not what you think. in fact, as payment for finding your beloved pussycat..." he pinched your cheek, and you swatted him away, sticking out your tongue.

"let me take you on a date- a real date. i want this to work, for us being together to be real. i really do love you, and..." you cut ace off by pulling him down by his neck, kissing him crudely. both callie and snuffy jumped off of you quickly as ace nearly crashed down on top of you. the cats sat together in the guest chairs, giving each other a look of our owners are so weird.

"mr. ventura-" robbie cut in, opening the door swiftly. he shrieked upon seeing the two of you in such a... passionate... embrace. you both broke away quickly, an embarrassing strand of saliva still connecting the two of you. your chest heaved and your face was red, while ace quickly composed himself.

"they're awake, robbie! do a check on 'em to make sure they're ready to check out- careful though, their heart rate is increasing and they seem to have a rising fever!" he joked, patting the nurse on the back before he rushed over to check your vitals among other things.

you glared at ace as he threw up fingerguns, leaving with the cats. he called, "i'll get the car, babe!"

robbie shook his head, taking your blood pressure. "what an obnoxious moron..." he muttered. you laughed breathily, smiling.

"yeah... i love him, though."

[furinatism]

ACE VENTURA X READER chapter 19

warnings: death mention, strangling, hospital setting/hospital equipment, animal cruelty mention, mention of kidnapping, mention of stalking

"y/n!" ace cried, rushing over to where your crumpled body now lied. milton had fearfully torn himself away from you, looking down at his hands in contempt.

the banging at the door grew from a quiet knock to a barrage of assailants. as ace held your body close, tears beginning to spill, the entrance was broken down.

as milton reached for the knife beside him, preparing to stab both himself and the detective, time was frozen.

"freeze and drop your weapon immediately!" one of the officers screamed. milton, startled by the sudden intrusion, dropped the knife out of instinct. his mind racing, he looked to ace holding your lifeless body.

"o-officers! h-he... he killed them! i watched as he strangled them to death, i was fearful for my life! y/n was my partner, and their death upset me so greatly in that moment that i lost control..."

an officer suddenly tackled milton to the ground, cuffing him.

"nice try, lover boy. ventura got everything on transmission to us. you're going away for a long time," she spat. the officer thought to herself how it seemed like only yesterday she was questioning you on your involvement in arthur fieldpool's death. and now, here she was, cuffing the prodigal son.

as milton sputtered weakly in defiance, she shoved him away. the other officers immediately began searching the scene as the paramedics filtered in.

ace sat, bouncing his leg as he watched your heart monitor. he had tuned out all of the beeping and mechanical noises of your hospital room.

he knew you would live; the doctors had full confidence in your recovery. of course, he was still worried about you.

the various bouquets of flowers which littered your bedside table may have appeared as though you had various loving family members and admirers at your beck and call.

however, upon reading the cards attached to the bouquets, one was from janice, another from laikyn. the final ten were all from ace; one bouquet for each day of your hospital stay.

a mew? sounded on ace's lap. he looked down softly, grinning somberly. 

"i know, callie. i miss them too."

a second mrrow rang out in the room, and ace absentmindedly scratched behind the ears of the occupant of the chair next to him.

"yes, snuffy. it's unfair, isn't it? you're finally reunited, but they're unconscious." snuffy nestled her head against ace's palm, both of them watching your chest slowly rise and fall.

"mr. ventura, you're still here?" the nurse inquired, fidgeting with his gloves slightly as he entered the room to your most frequent visitor.

ace sighed, trying to shield the cats from view. "yep, robbie! what's it been now, eleven days?" he rubbed his tired, red-rimmed eyes. he had spent every night at the hospital with you, ensuring everyday he still returned home to take care of his animals, of course. the nurse, robbie, sighed.

"mr. ventura, you know we cannot permit animals here. haven't i already told you that?" he continued sternly, but his eyes gave away his compassion.

ace chewed on his lip, gathering the pair of cats in his arms. "i understand, robbie. can't have these babies here to see their parent suffer!" ace proclaimed dramatically, turning away from the man administering your medications and checking your iv fluids. he smirked to himself, knowing from robbie's defeated sigh that ace had won him over for another night.

"fine, they can stay. just for tonight though!" robbie asserted, leaving the room as he had finished your nightly care. ace winked, finger-gunning him.

"that's what ya say every night, robbo!" he called, turning back to the two cats.

"ok guys, now go cuddle up with y/n!" at ace's urging, callie and snuffy immediately curled up atop your unconscious body. he made sure to observe them carefully around the wires as he reminisced over what had happened in the past ten days.

milton was immediately taken into custody. he was charged with murder of the first degree of arthur fieldpool. he was then ALSO charged with the first degree murder of his mother. kidnapping, assault, battery... he really got the whole nine yards of charges. they had to sent him to an institution, but he has to be monitored heavily because of such danger he poses to society. needless to say... they've probably put him in a padded cell and thrown away the key.

ace held your hand as you remained in your comatose state. you had an oddly peaceful expression transfixed on your visage as you 'slept'.

the girl who milton had kidnapped was identified as morgan parks. she was a fifteen year-old girl who happened to cross paths with milton as he was on his way home after the first day of meeting y/n. morgan was held captive for around one and a half years. last i heard, they were still debating on what to do with her. they are unable to get in contact with her parents, since they truly believe she's dead and this is some kind of cruel joke.

snuffy pawed at your face, mewing pathetically when you didn't react. she curled up on your chest like a newborn baby, purring. ace reached out and scratched the cat behind her ears.

snuffy was found in a cruelly small cage, with no food or water. she had to lure in wild animals scittering around the apartment in order to survive. milton's leaky apartment provided some water over time for her. milton had stalked y/n for around a year, some days breaking into the apartment. he learned everything about them... some said that he knows y/n better than they know themself.

ace gripped your hand tightly, mouth taut in a straight line. he knew you'd be okay- it was just a matter of when.

and when you did wake up, how would he tell you how he felt?

[furinatism]

ACE VENTURA X READER chapter 18

warnings: kidnapping, attempted manipulation, implied stockholm syndrome, reader losing conciousness, choking (not in a.... "fun" way)

ace was bound to a single chair intended to be the 'audience' of your ceremony.

milton had fetched a bound captive he had earlier stashed within the warehouse, forcing them to be your officiator.

her hair was thinning from malnutrition, her healthy plumpness and natural glow being diminished from how much time she had been held here.

she pursed her lips, looking towards you sympathetically. this woman... no, this girl could not have been older than sixteen.

"a-and do you, um, milton... take y/n t-to be your lawfully wedded partner... in, um.. illness and in good times?" the girl stammered out. you cringed, knowing her fragmented memory had failed her.

milton seethed, slapping her across her face. "wrong! what kind of priest gets it wrong?! i'll do it myself!" he shrieked, shoving the girl into a seat next to ace in the audience.

ace smiled sarcastically at the girl, still joking despite his situation. "so happy you could make it, aunt gladys was wondering if you'd show up!" he quipped. the girl gazed confusedly at the detective, and he made a facepalming action (despite his bound wrists).

milton glared at his 'audience' before resuming the ceremony.

"y/n, i take you to be my lawfully wedded partner. i will honor and cherish you; love, trust, and commit to you, through joy and pain, sickness and health, and whatever we may be put through, until death do us part," milton smiled widely, the creepy aura surrounding him returning. you tried not to make a sound nor shiver.

milton then prompted you to say it back. you rushed through the vow, feeling bile rise in your throat. milton blushed heavily as you spoke such 'loving' words to him. he grabbed your face in his hands, breathing hard.

"a-any objections?!" he shouted, nearly breathless from anticipation.

"i object!" called ace. you cringed, and milton's hands dropped back to his side, balling into fists.

gritting his teeth together, milton spoke to ace. "objection ignored. now, does my darling wish to continue?" milton sang sweetly, turning back to you.

ace's voice rang out in a high-pitched, mockingly feminine tone. "oh yes please, milton! first you kidnapped my cat, now me, and then the handsome, wonderful ace ventura! there is nothing i would love more than to marry an abusive captor!"

milton slammed into ace, nearly knocking over the chair he was bound to. "shut up! stop talking, y/n loves me! not you, not you at all!" milton screeched, reaching for ace's throat to force the life out of him.

you gasped, shouting 'wait!' briskly, struggling in your restraints. milton whirled around, hair disheveled, clothes wrinkled and glasses askew on his face. his mouth twisted into a frenzied grin. "yes, darling?" he heaved, drawing closer to you at a frighteningly slow pace.

"i.. w-well..." the previous rush of boldness had worn off when milton's crazed look sunk in. "m-milton, you're... you're wrong. a-about me, about... about everything!" you tried to keep your voice steady as you spoke, failing. milton sensed your timidness, so close to you now that you could feel his breath upon your skin.

"is that so? tell me, my love, what am i so wrong about?" he hissed. you straightened up instincitvely, raising your head in defiance.

"i mean what i told you earlier- i will never love you." you hissed. milton caught your chin in his hand, forcing you to look up at him once again. he leered, inching closer to you.

"why don't you say that to me again, dollface?" he spat. you shivered, still glaring into his soul.

"it's just like i said- i love him, and hate you."

milton swiftly slapped you across the face with enough force to make you fall to your knees. the stinging sensation only urged you to continue.

"he's done more for me over the past month than you have done for me in my entire life of knowing you, milton! ace was there for me in my most desperate time, and you know who caused me to fall into such a dark place? you. you have ruined my life, while ace has only made it so much better. i love him, i love him with my whole heart. and my entire body only registers you, milton, as a threat- i despise your very being."

you could see ace's hardened expression out of the corner of your eyes, as though he was thinking over what you had said. at this point, none of it mattered. whatever you could do to get out of this situation, or to die with milton knowing you had hated him, was necessary. 

milton shrieked, covering his face with his hands. "my darling, why do you say such things! is it because he is present?!" you shook your head, grinning maliciously.

"i want to do whatever i can to get away from you. you disgust me to my very core, and if i could i would rip every joyful part of your life away from you." milton began to weep, throwing his arms around you.

"please y/n, don't say such things! i... i love you, my angel. you know that, right?" he pleaded, grasping your bound hands within his own. you ripped yourself away from him, standing up suddenly.

"shut the fuck up! no, you don't love me! if you died in front of me, i would only feel happiness. not a twinge of guilt or remorse. so go on, go rot."

milton got up angrily, pushing you down once again. wrapping his hands around your neck, he began to restrict your air flow. gasping and gagging, you refused to look him in the eye.

"please, my love! look at me, exist to me once more!" he cried.

ace watched your struggle, and you locked eyes with him. tears of fear, resignation, and struggle flowed freely down your face as ace watched on, terrified.

you smiled softly before you finally lost conciousness.

[furinatism]

ACE VENTURA X READER chapter 17

warnings: kidnapping, mentions of implied bondage (? idk), reader gets called kitten SORRY, knife mention

you sighed heavily as milton went to open the door, the hole in your heart being further excavated. you stared down at your feet.

when milton had ripped you to come to the altar, you knew he wouldn't leave you free. he had quickly tied your wrists together once again, and then moved onto your ankles. you refused to make eye contact with him when he did so.

"ah, welcome in! me and my... stunning spouse-to-be are just past this hallway here!" you heard milton fanboy, and an affirmative grunt from the officiator.

as your captor stumbled into the room, you sharply inhaled, still fixing your eyes to the floor. you didn't want to see him any more than you had to.

"o-oh my... um, this isn't... usually the kind of wedding i officiate," you heard the officiator speak, and the thick accent immediately hit you as artificial.

the tone, the diction, the intonation...

your head snapped up, eyes slightly wider as you made eye contact with the... 'priest'.

of course. ace's costumes were always obnoxious.

it looked like a halloween costume of the pope! there was no possible way that milton was falling for this!

ace held eye contact with you, refusing to look away until milton began to speak again. you felt a warmth bloom in your chest at ace's tender gaze.

no, no, no. this is a life-or-death situation, now is NOT the time. besides, he's only doing his job.

"oh, well... my darling just loves being bound.. heh, in fact, they said that if not for their restrictions they wouldn't be able to keep their hands off of me!" milton licked his lips, and you let out an involuntary sob. both men turned to look at you, one with lust and the other with fear.

despite your flowing tears, you forced a watery smile. "y-yes, oh, yes! my... my milton knows me... so, so well," your voice shook as you delivered the sentence, cringing at your own words.

ace faked a smile, laughing obnoxiously. "well then, don't want to keep you... lovebirds waiting!" ace gritted, spitting out the last part.

milton turned starry-eyed, rushing to the 'altar' and grabbing your bound hands. "no time to wait! priest, it's time for us to be wed," milton announced, his voice breaking slightly. you kept your eyes glued to ace, begging him to free you with just a look.

again, the detective made eye contact with you. a quick frown struck his face before he hid it once again with his persona.

"i suppose you really are in a hurry to get married!" ace chuckled, yet you could feel the discomfort hanging in the air. ace shuffled slightly. "but uh, where's my payment?"

milton sighed, bowing his head. "yes, yes. i shall be on that right away. what was the amount we discussed over the phone again?"

ace froze up, stuttering. "o-oh, y'know, i don't really remember, hah..." he swallowed hard, fidgeting with his robes. "just give me however much you want!"

a flash, or rather a spark, ignited in milton's eyes at the words. however, the light was forcefully doused as milton's eyes crinkled up in a grotesque smile. "alright, i'll be right on it!"

as milton left the room, ace quickly gripped your shoulders in desperation.

"y/n, are you alright?!" he hissed, turning your chin so you would make eye contact with him. you felt fire spread over your face as he gazed softly at you.

"i-i'm fine, ace. listen, you need to get out of here." your incessant begging seemed to fall on deaf ears. ace began to pull and tug at your bindings.

you struggled, pushing yourself away from him as best you could. "ace, stop! i'm doing all this for snuffy, to keep milton from hurting others... even if i have to suffer, i'm okay with it as long as i can actually make a difference for once! just leave, you have more to accomplish. if he catches you, we'll both be dead, and i'm not someone worth dying for!" you ranted, still trying to keep your voice at a hushed tone. ace ceased his actions for a moment, seemingly mulling on your words.

"y/n, no, y-you don't understand. i should've told you sooner, but i... i didn't know how. please, just listen." ace's eyes bored into yours, and you felt vulnerable under his gaze. you once again felt your face flush, sniffling slightly.

"ace, i need you to leave. now."

before the man could speak once again, he whirled around to the sound of footsteps. you didn't dare to look up from your position, instead opting to make acquaintance with the floor.

"m-milton, ah, i... trust you've found my payment?" ace tried, pushing his... 'pope hat' back onto his head. milton giggled.

"ah, yes! here you are, mr. ventura. a payment from one respectable man..." milton paused, grabbing ahold of ace by his shoulders suddenly, "to another."

you looked up suddenly, watching both of the men fall to the floor. milton was trying his hardest to sink the twisted knife's blade into ace's flesh, while the latter attempted to narrowly miss injury.

you sucked in a breath between your teeth, further undoing your restraints from the start ace had given you. you boldly threw yourself at milton, knowing you had to play the part.

weeping softly, you snaked your arms around milton's neck.

"m-milton, please! my... my love! mr. ventura was only worried that i had been kidnapped by someone less... trustworthy than you! he didn't mean to steal me away from you, darling... surely there's a less violent way to settle this?" you pleaded, looking at milton through your lashes, gaze as innocent as possible. you moved your hands to his hair, playing with it gently. milton bit his lip, looking away from you as his pale face flushed a deep red.

"f-fine, but... but only for you, my kitten. instead, i will tie up our uninvited guest here, yes?" you pursed your lips, nuzzling your face into your captor's neck. 

"oh, but my love, that's so much work! surely we can just... let him go?" you whined. milton's hands found their way to your waist, and you had to stop yourself from shoving him away.

"no, no. not yet, at least. he may go right to the police, and then what? our marriage will be tainted for eternity!" milton cried, and you cooed at him.

"okay, yes, my dear. i agree with whatever you propose." you forced a soft grin, and milton stood up suddenly to bind ace in restraints.

ace looked over at you, an unrecognizable emotion flickering behind his eyes. you looked at him somberly, before turning your attention back to the rope burn on both your ankles and wrists.

ace gazed at your hopeless demeanor, swallowing hard. he shrugged off his obnoxious costume, stashing the bugged walkie-talkie from beneath his hat into his pocket. now that he had everything on recording, it was only a matter of time.

[furinatism]

ACE VENTURA X READER chapter 16

warnings: brief mention of blood, kidnapping, forced marriage/wedding, unwanted contact, attempted manipulation

ace sighed, scratching his head. well, public records confirmed it. milton fieldpool, only child of arthur and rebecca fieldpool. he'd never been institutionalized nor medicated, but files said when he was 14 his doctors tried. their attempts were somehow denied, and milton had little to no medical contact for the rest of his life.

ace checked the clock frantically, wondering when you would be back. he hadn't been back to the restaurant on account of the scene he had caused. surely it'd be any minute now...

and then an hour passed as though it was nothing.

ace turned to an anxious callie in his passenger seat, scratching her gently behind the ears.

"it'll be alright, callie... y/n's old enough to take care of themself..." ace muttered, petting the kitten as he watched intently out the car window.

fake-checking his invisible watch, ace sprung out of the vehicle suddenly. "alright, it's been long enough! y/n must be in trouble! let's go, callie," ace announced, quickly picking up the cat before marching away to search for clues.

ace stopped at a peculiar alley, a certain scent wafting from the darkness. ace treaded carefully into the passageway, looking around suspiciously. eventually, he reached a blood crusted spot on the concrete.

ace's face went white with terror, breath quickening. he plucked a short strand of brown hair up from the same spot, sniffing it before deciding to taste it.

ace recoiled in disgust, animatedly spitting at the taste. "eugh- YUCK! what kind of cheap hair gel is this?!" ace cried. he thought for a moment, realizing what this must mean.

"milton had told y/n that he wanted to look more like me... and from what i could see of him, he attempted this killer 'do," ace explained to the kitten in his arms, slicking his hair back slightly.

callie mewed at him, pawing at his face. ace huffed quietly. "something happened to y/n... and i'm sure that milton is behind it. if we don't act fast callie, then..." ace trailed off, not wanting to speak possibilities into reality. 

he gathered all the evidence he could before returning back to his car, heading to the police station as fast as he could.

you stood practically lifeless at the alter, breathing heavy and palms clamming up.

milton was desperately trying to figure out why his rented priest had cancelled last minute. a wedding based off a dark-web officiator wasn't exactly how you imagined your big day.

all you could do now was laugh despairedly at your situation. sure, you could hang on for as long as you could, but how long until the stockholm syndrome kicks in? how many more days, months, even years until you completely forgot about life away from milton? and would you eventually be brainwashed enough that you forgot about...

you squeezed your eyes shut. it didn't matter anyways. there was no way out of this. ace couldn't rush in alone- he would surely be killed. and milton's hypnotic powers... you were designated to believe that he could take out a police force. but then, you wondered to yourself, why hadn't he hypnotized you into loving him?

you figured there was no better time than the present to get your answers. ever curious, that trait may be wiped from you once you begin to fall under milton's manipulation.

"milton..." you croaked out weakly. he instantly snapped around to look at you, eyes brimming with adoration just from hearing your voice.

he rushed to your side, grasping your hands desperately. "what is it, my sweet?" he cooed, bringing a palm to your cheek. your first instinct, of course, was to flinch away. milton's soft expression turned dark for a moment before he forcefully grabbed your face, smile returning to his face as you made eye contact.

you cleared your throat, chalkiness coating the inside. "um... wh-why haven't you used your... amazing hypnosis powers on me?" milton stared at you sympathetically, now holding your face with both hands.

"oh, oh my darling..." he purred, dragging his left thumb over your bottom lip. you wanted to scream, cry, kick- anything to get away from him. but you withheld yourself, instead pretending to succumb to his advances.

"so many things you don't yet understand... let's just say that i know deep down you want me... i don't need to use my hypnosis to reveal that. all i need is time," milton growled, going back to his phone as he snapped away from you. "if only i could get a damn priest!"

your breathing returned to its shaky pace, your bound limbs begging to thrash about in order to escape the situation. you blinked hard, thinking about the only reason you were here in the first place.

i just need to ensure snuffy's safety. then, maybe... maybe my life will have amounted to something.

finally, you heard milton let out a triumphant squeal.

"oh, my beloved! finally, finally! within fifteen minutes, our officiator will have arrived! i had to venture off of the darker side of the internet, but... i'm happy to announce it's a priest nonetheless! if they object to our holy bounding under such circumstances..." milton giggled darkly to himself. "well then, perhaps they won't be getting out of here alive, either!" he continued his twisted, joyous laughter as he stroked the back of your hand with his calloused thumb.

he sighed, leaning his head onto your thighs. "oh, my darling..." he sang, nuzzling his face into your warm skin, "i can't believe i get to finally, truly make you mine."

as your heart thrummed in your chest out of terror, you heard a knock on the heavy oak door.

you knew at that moment your final innocence would be revoked.

[furinatism]

ACE VENTURA X READER chapter 15

warnings: kidnapping, mentions of stalking, breaking-and-entering, suicide mention (nothing graphic), reader gets called slut, physical harm inflicted on reader, attempted manipulation

grabbing you another cup of water, milton forces you to drink. he continues on with his story.

"after i deciding i needed to make you mine, i settled in at fieldpool & co. i figured if anyone knew i was arthur's son that i would be harrassed... and i knew it would drive you away from me. and i couldn't let that happen! i knew from the moment i laid eyes on you, my sweet y/n, that i had to have you!" milton shrieked desperately, throwing himself on the ground in front of you, staring up at you intently.

"i easily found out where you live- employers keep all that stuff on file and i could easily slip into my father's office after hours to find out all of your information. emergency contacts, house address, everything! that night, i followed you home; despite being observant, i was just too sneaky for you!" he giggled with glee, still gazing at you. "after a while, just watching you from afar wasn't enough. it was easy to break in; your windows were easy to maneuver. the real struggle, however," milton looked down, voice becoming scornful, "was that damn cat."

you felt your stomach drop. so it was true; not only had he murdered his father, been breaking in and stalking you, but he was also the confirmed kidnapper of your beloved snuffy.

milton watched your expression for a moment, but you refused to give him the satisfaction of emotion. he sighed heavily. "it would meow and scratch at me, yowling and shrieking. it alerted the neighbors on occasion, nearly resulting in me being caught. and so, i took it away. i couldn't bear for it to keep us apart any longer, y/n!" milton sang. he rose back to his feet, encasing your slouched figure between his weak arms.

your lip trembled, and you clutched the arms of the chair you were bound to. "so it's true? you killed snuffy?" your voice shook with fear and despair. milton tutted at your question.

"don't worry, my love. that wretched creature still lives. for now. i snuck into your apartment the night you rejected me, knowing it must have had something to do with that stupid cat. when you still showed the next day, emotionless, i knew you must not have noticed. and then, you had to go and get that damn... 'detective' involved." you glared at milton as he used air quotes to refer to ace's profession. milton heaved another sigh.

"really, my dear, i just don't get what you see in him." you chuckled dryly, sarcasm dripping from your demeanor.

"maybe it's the fact he never had to kidnap me to get my attention," you retorted. you knew provoking milton wasn't wise; you still didn't have the full grasp on what he was capable of. but you couldn't stand the thought of him. you had to let your frustrations out somehow.

milton let out a high-pitched shriek, slamming his hands against your chair as he leaned in, closer than before.

"you dare speak to me that way?! you bitch! he is nothing compared to me, you know that?! i have done everything for you, and i still haven't even gotten a thank you! such a greedy whore, always wanting and wanting but never giving credit where it's due!" milton cried. you flinched slightly at his tone; you had never heard him so angry before. he sucked in a deep breath, voice returning to normal.

"now, my love, anymore questions for me?"

his shift in emotions threw you off slightly.

under your breath, you muttered, "you're just like your father."

milton went ballistic at your words, flinging your glass of water off the table.

"how dare you! how dare you! i am nothing like him, not at all! he never treated you with the respect you deserved! meanwhile, i have done absolutely everything in my power to make you happy!" milton began to sniffle, tears spilling and staining his glasses. "that was what my mother had said to me, before i killed her that day. i don't want to kill you, y/n! don't make me do this," his voice slowed, and you felt a chill down your back as he peered into your soul. you gulped, offering a sheepish smile.

"no, no, you misheard me! all i said was that... d-did you go any further? um, l-like, further than just hypnotizing people at magic shows, i mean!" while you rambled aimlessly, you seemed to have calmed your captor down. the smile returned to his face, and he held your chin, tilting up your face to meet his gaze.

"oh, of course i have, my darling. the first victim had been my father; he was too hard-headed to stay in that trance long. i decided to restart smaller. animals, more specifically frogs. i could will them to kill themselves, to kill others. i worked my way up, until i forced my mother to kill herself. it was a large step in my journey, of course. my first true human subject. but i didn't regret it. and then, of course, i hypnotized countless cats in preparation to take snuffy. there were replicas, i assure you, which were much more in that cat's likeliness. however, most of them fully died by the time i had petrified them. the replica you had seen died a day after it had been petrified. i wished that it had stayed petrified for longer, but you can only hope in these cases," milton droned on. while you were bored, you would much rather be bored than dead.

"a-and arthur? and that note that was supposed to be the one laikyn left?" you whispered. milton chuckled smugly.

"ah, yes! you see, i did actually kill arthur myself, the old bastard. i wanted to see the fear in his eyes as he realized he was dying by his son's hand." milton's eyes glinted malignantly at the mention of his father's death. "he stayed at the office quite late that night, but so did i. i hypnotized him to go back to his apartment. and then, i shot him!" milton cackled maniacally.

you felt your insides churn at how much delight he got out of the murder of his father. sure, a good chuckle at something morbid wasn't too bad- but this was the real murder of a real man, and one you committed, at that!

"i had to make it look like a suicide, of course. quite simple! afterwards, i knew you and that... pet boy would be on the case. so, i left a note in his desk. i knew i couldn't pen laikyn's handwriting, but i knew i could nail herd writing style down. so, i printed off the note and went on my way. i suppose laikyn had some concrete evidence, though! considering your next step was to come after me..." milton whined, tone full of betrayal. he acted as though you were truly a married couple. 

you scoffed at his attitude. you were trying to stay on his good side, but you just couldn't help it.

"and where is snuffy?" you snapped, getting fed up with milton's antics. he looked to you like a kicked animal, brows furrowed and eyes wide.

his voice came out in a whimper, sounding utterly pathetic. "b-but y/n... don't you want to know what you're here for?" he reached for your tied-down hand yet again, and you jerked back as far as you could.

"fuck no! you think i went on that date with you to give you a chance?!" you shouted incredulously, laughing in your captor's face. "never in a million years! all i wanted was my best friend back, my snuffy, my cat! i figured you were too wimpy and pathetic to even commit such an act, but i was wrong! you're so wimpy and pathetic, you have to ruin someone's life to get their attention!" you cried, giggling like a lunatic. truth be told, the situation wasn't all that funny in the moment, but you figured the laughter was because of the nerves.

milton continued to stare down at his feet, clenching and unclenching his fists. you watched as tears welled up in his eyes.

"and, truth be told?" you finally spoke after a pang of silence washed over the room. "it didn't even work! if i thought i hated you before, i was dead wrong. you can try all you like; killing my boss, hypnotizing innocent people, petrifying cats to replace my own, taking away the one thing that matters to me! hell, i suppose you can even kidnap me and try to get me to develop stockholm syndrome!" you ended your sentence with an exasperated breath, glaring up at milton now.

"but despite all this- all of this bullshit you have put me through? i could never love you. you're unlovable, milton. your mother couldn't love you, arthur couldn't love you, and i will never give you the time of day. even if i have to die here," you spat. at this point, hot tears streamed down the man's face. he took off his glasses, wiping at his eyes and cleaning off the lenses fervently. he was muttering to himself, sweating and slightly panting.

"no, no. y-you're wrong, y/n! i-i know it was that... that detective who put all those ideas into your head! be-before he came along, you really, truly loved me! your smile lit up a thousand parades, and it was all for me! not for him! but the day he arrived is the day you stopped caring so deeply for me... he poisoned you with his... with his.. his rhetoric! his falsehoods! i love you, y/n! i love you, i love you, i love you!" milton exclaimed, sobbing once again. you shook your head, groaning in frustration.

"for your information, dickhead, i love that 'detective' as you call him! he did more for me than anyone ever could! i love him, not you! do you hear me?! i love him, and i hate you!" you screamed. your voice was beginning to grow hoarse at arguing with such a psychotic brick wall. milton slammed his hands against the arms of the chair, harming you in the process.

while you shrieked in pain, milton began his tirade.

"listen here, you dumb slut! you know nothing of the real world, nor the extent of what i've done for you! i'll show you- i'll make you learn who you've always belonged to! and if it means killing you like all the others..." milton trailed off, pondering over his words for a moment. his grip tightened on your hands, and you were sure he had broken a few of your bones at this point. "then so be it." his voice came out as a low growl, and your breathing hitched.

he leaned in close to your face for a kiss. "now, make it up to me, sweetheart."

you gathered your energy to wholeheartedly spit in his face. he backed away suddenly, wiping the saliva off of his face quickly. he shrieked slightly, mouth ajar. "y-you... i'll... i'll fucking kill you!"

milton emphasized his declaration by punching you in the gut relentlessly, giving you no time to breathe. you gasped desperately for air, tears beginning to flow as a result of your restriction from oxygen.

your ropes were suddenly ripped away as you were yanked out of your seat. the world spun and your vision blurred completely. all you could feel was the pain in your abdomen and a harsh grip on your forearm.

"now, my dearest, it is time for our ceremony to commence," milton giggled.

as you were dragged through the cold, empty warehouse, you could faintly hear a distorted audio recording of the wedding march.

with one hand gripping your arm and the other wrapped around your waist, you were sure you were being led to your doom.

[furinatism]

ACE VENTURA X READER chapter 14

warnings: kidnapping, attempted manipulation, implied s/a (maybe? it's implied milton had dressed and undressed the reader but never said he did anything), reader wearing a dress, forced wedding

you woke from your 'slumber' in a chair. of course, you were tied there. your wrists and ankles were bound to parts of the chair; your wrists to the chair's arms, and your ankles to the front chair legs.

your mouth was gagged loosely by... a shirt. you wanted to throw up- you knew whose shirt it must be. to your surprise, you had not been blindfolded. your mental acuity was at a low point, so your observations were fairly surface level.

you heard faint singing, albeit terribly off-key. you squirmed slightly in your seat, trying to see how much wiggle room your captor had provided. evidently, it was not much. just barely moving nearly gave you nasty ropeburn.

"oh, my darling!" cried a voice. you knew who it was, and you cringed. looking down at yourself, you realized your clothes had been... changed.

you nearly lost consciousness at the implications.

while your date outfit had been a dress shirt, jacket and slacks (along with your favorite pair of shoes), it was no longer what you were wearing.

you had been changed into a (grossly brown-stained) frilly, puffy white dress, with frilled stockings and white pump-heels. great, how stereotypically bridal! you were sure you could figure out what this entailed.

milton entered the room hastily, holding a bouquet of poorly-cared for flowers. he grinned lopsidedly at your appearance. "oh dear, you're finally awake! wonderful, wonderful! oh my, this is all so exciting!" milton dropped the flowers in his elation, putting his hands on both arms of the chair. he leaned in closely to you, and you nearly gagged at the overbearing cologne. i would rather smell the chloroform again.

he was wearing... god, of course, he was wearing a full-on suit and tie. his dress shoes were scuffed- they were the same that he'd worn everyday to work.

"now please tell me, how are you feeling, my love?" he cooed, petting your head gently. you bit down intensely, trying not to scream at the unwanted contact. you squirmed slightly in your seat, glaring up at the man who was ruining your life.

milton stared down blankly at you, blinking slowly before coming to some sort of realization. "oh, that's right! i'm sorry, my sweet! let me fix that," milton murmured, pulling the makeshift gag from your jaws. you went into a coughing fit, the cheap cologne now assaulting your tastebuds as well. milton flung his arms around you, trying his best to rub your back 'comfortingly'.

"now, now, my dearest! it's all okay; i know this is a lot for you to take in!" milton hummed, sniffing you yet again. if it were up to you, you would have handed this creep's ass to him. but you knew you needed to get answers.

wetting your lips before speaking, you swallowed hard. your voice wobbled, and you wondered how long you had been unconscious.

"w-why are you doing this?" you uttered weakly. any ferocity or urgency behind your words was lost. you coughed dryly, and milton let out a sound of concern.

"oh, here is some water! i'll let you drink up as i speak," he sang. you sipped from the dirty cup. the glass was stained and the water was dingy, but you truly did not have much choice.

when you downed the cup of water completely, milton set it down on some sort of nightstand next to you. he clapped his hands together joyfully, beginning his explanation.

"well, you see, i was in a bit of in-between for jobs. my father had offered me a position at fieldpool & co., but i was still tied to my hypnosis gag at the magician's company i resided at! you see," milton leaned in, with likeness to a schoolgirl telling a secret, "i wasn't simply a fake magician like the others. i could do things! my hypnosis wasn't simply planted audience members, no! i could make anyone do as i wished!" his pride seemed to swell, as his eyes twinkled behind the black frames.

hypnosis... is that how he petrified the snuffy replica? it would make sense...

he breathed deeply before continuing on. "but eventually, i had to be let go. the magician's company decided i was too dangerous for them to be responsible for; so i came to my father's company!" milton let out a squeal, grasping at your tied-down left hand. "that's where i met you... it must have been into a month of you working there. i had visited the building before, but you hadn't noticed me! you were too busy getting settled in to a new job. as soon as i saw you, i... i knew i needed you."

you squeezed your eyes shut, willing yourself not to break out into sobs. why of all people did this have to happen to you?! you didn't do anything to deserve this! a small tear managed its way out of your left eye, slipping down your face.

milton gasped softly, removing his hand from yours to wipe away the tear. "now, now, my beloved! it's all okay... i know you're flattered, but please don't cry!" milton hushed, cupping your face in his sweaty palm. you recoiled slightly, snarling under your breath.

"don't be frightened, dearest! i will continue my story, don't worry!" he purred, cradling your face in his hands. you wanted to kill him, to watch the life drain from his eyes and to have him suffer. but there was nothing you could do.

milton grinned at you, squeezing your hand tightly. "now, where was i?"

[furinatism]

ACE VENTURA X READER chapter 13

warnings: HOOO BOY. kidnapping, mentions of stalking, guy being a total and complete creep (this is an understatement). unwanted physical contact, attempted manipulation

dragging milton out the doors, your grip tight on his wrist, your eyes darted around to survey your surroundings. that dumbass... could he have been any more obnoxious?!

"y/n, please!" milton cried out, tugging you back. you wanted to vomit; his touch repulsed you. his hands were unnaturally sweaty.

milton clasped his hands together, looking away and refusing to meet your gaze. "y/n, i know what this is all about," he sighed, a slight whine present in his tone. "i haven't necessarily been honest with you..."

you felt bile rise in your throat. you've got that right, you lying bastard.

"i am... was, the son... heh, of arthur fieldpool. we had our differences, assuredly. i was always much closer to my mother. she died a decade ago, but i still favor her corpse over that of my father. i'm sure you understand, y/n; your relationship with your parents is not the best."

as milton spoke, it felt as though a blackhole had opened up underneath you. you were being swallowed up completely by a void.

wait.

how the hell did he know about your parents?

"wh-what?" you stuttered, a lump forming in your throat. milton only offered you a smile.

"what do you mean? why do you look so surprised? your parents never supported you, and especially not your veterinary pursuits. and when you dropped out of school, they disowned you completely!" the facts of your life fell effortlessly from milton's lips. terror crept up your spine.

"i... i never told you that." you backed away from him as you spoke, your back hitting the cement of an alleyway entrance.

milton's demeanor changed, his eyes widening slightly, faux-innocence gleaming in his irises.

"y-you didn't?" the corners of his mouth turned  down slightly, brows turning upwards in concern.

your breathing hastened, heart pounding. your eyes darted around rapidly, searching for any means to escape. how the hell did he know this?

"i-i got the information from my dad! y-yeah," milton hurriedly 'explained'. you could tell he was lying; you had never went into detail of your situation with arthur. and besides, you had at least enough faith in arthur that he wouldn't spill your life's secrets to anyone who came asking. milton seemed to find his lie adequate, approaching you. he placed a palm on the wall next to your head, reaching out to take one of your hands in his.

"now, my sweet, what did you want to talk about?" his nasally voice took on a... 'suave' tone, or at least an attempted one. you were trembling for all the wrong reasons, but milton seemed to interpret it a different way. 

"now, now, darling. don't be afraid. i love you, don't you know that? i would do anything for you; i would die for you, i would kill for you- really, what's the difference?" milton chuckled. he reached his hand to your face, cupping your cheek.

you slapped his hand away, ducking out of his ensnarement against the wall. "don't touch me, you.. you... you bastard!" you cried out. you hoped and prayed that someone, anyone, would hear your pleas.

milton's demeanor shifted again, sadness enveloping his expression. "y/n... you still don't trust me? after everything i have done for you?!" milton snarled. as your back hit yet another wall, you realized he had backed you into the dark alleyway. "you owe me big time, my dear. i have done so much for you; to garner your attention, your respect, your affections! and this is the thanks i get?!" milton cried out, and as he drew closer, you were growing more fearful.

"w-what are you talking about?! you haven't done anything for me!" milton shook his head and laughed, his face closer to you than you ever wanted it to be.

"my dearest! do you not understand?! i have killed for you! don't you appreciate it?" milton whimpered, grabbing your hands and clasping them between his own. his lip quivered, eyes wettening as he leaned into you. "arthur only ever caused you pain, and stress! you didn't want for me to publicly defend you, so... i-i figured that getting rid of him in private would make you happy!"

dread gnawed at your insides, and it was as if your face had been drained of any pigmentation. so it was true... milton was a murderer. so did he kill that innocent cat, too? and steal snuffy? there was no way, he couldn't know where you lived! while you knew it was plausible, you didn't want to accept it. you couldn't accept it.

"get away from me! get away! you're... you're a murderer, you're sick! i could never love you, get away!" you shrieked, opting to tackle into him. milton, while surprised, only grabbed ahold of you. you had tackled him to the ground, yet he latched onto you tightly. you lied on top of him, his dirty hands clutching at your arms.

"oh, y/n, you just don't understand! it's alright; it will all make sense in time! now, please forgive me for this, my dear," milton grunted, wrestling you to the ground underneath him. when the hell did he become stronger than you?! you supposed that you truly knew nothing about this man- your coworker, who was once a bookish, shy nerd was actually a ruthless killer.

"forgive you?! i could never forgive you, you sneaky son of a bitch!" you cried out, as milton effortlessly pinned you to the ground with your arms behind your back. you felt his weight shift onto you, and you sneered as he pressed his nostrils to the nape of your neck, inhaling deeply.

"oh, my sweet... you smell just as wonderful as you did on that night," he purred, and you could feel his sickeningly sweet smile against your ear. "please, do not take offense to this, my love."

before you could even question his ramblings, milton forced a cloth against your face. you tried your hardest to hold your breath; you had researched enough true crime to know this was obviously chloroform. 

you knew that, one way or another, you would pass out. you would pass out, and milton would do... something. you were hoping it was murder. you would rather die at his hands than be kept alive in whatever situation he had prepared for you.

as your vision began to blur, you tried your best to think back to when you had first met milton.

your first day at the office? no, it was too hectic of a day. was milton even working there at that point?

you concentrated on whether or not milton had been hired before or after you had. you had always thought he was hired before you, considering he held a quite high position within the company. however, with the newfound knowledge of milton's relation to arthur, you now knew that nepotism was a factor within the workplace.

your thoughts were becoming less and less coherent, your vision nearly incapable of doing its job. however, despite all the assaults on your senses, you heard a familiar voice cry out.

"y/n?!"

you gasped, even with the cloth being held over your mouth. you knew it was the end for you there. with the last of your energy, and the muffling of the fabric, you cried out.

"ace!"

but to no avail. the brightly-dressed figure, obscured by your blurry vision, passed right by the alleyway. milton giggled, pressing himself closer to you.

"such poor luck, y/n. but you don't have to worry about him anymore," the man hissed, turning you over so he could glance into your eyes one last time before you lost all consciousness.

with your mouth and nostrils being filled with the sickly sweet scent of chloroform, you allowed yourself to slip away.

after all, your final hope had been lost.

[furinatism]

ACE VENTURA X READER chapter 12

warnings: just a guy being creepy

milton perked up as you walked towards the table he sat at. he scrambled out of his seat, pulling your chair out for you to sit.

"h-here you are, y/n!" he said, albeit at a higher volume than you wished. you chuckled nervously, slipping into the seat and pushing it as close to the table as it would go.

milton stared at you with a dazed, starstruck expression for a moment. an obvious blush spread across his face, turning his sickly pale skin to a shade of red.

"so, um... what did you wanna talk about, y/n?" he asked, messing with the tablecloth. you took a moment to really take in milton's appearance.

thick black frames decorated his pale face, his hazel eyes had a glossy sheen over them at all times as if his eyes had been glazed over. he had greasy brown hair which was slicked back from gel, but had turned more or less oily. his skin was broken out slightly in acne, the pimples providing a contrast to his sheet-white face. he had no facial hair whatsoever, but sported thick, untamed eyebrows.

in a moment, you noticed his hair. it wasn't usually gelled, was it? he normally just wore it for the greasy mess it was.

then it hit you. he wasn't wearing his glasses, either.

"milton," you began, voice wavering, "where are your glasses?" you prayed the answer was something other than what you were expecting.

his redness somehow burned darker, and his gaze fell to the silverware in front of him. "w-well... i, um, i... i wanted to, erm... i just wanted to l-look how i... thought you liked," milton choked out. you wanted to cry. you were a good person, why was this happening to you?!

feigning innocence, you raised your eyebrow. "how i like? what do you mean, i've never dated anyone! how do you know what i like?" you asked him, keeping a calm, even tone as you spoke. milton almost choked on his saliva, and his face looked like a beet.

"i... ok, y/n, i can't hide anything from you. i've... seen the guy that you hang around with, and i... i see the way he looks at you. i... i thought that, well, maybe if i looked more like him, you'd... like me?" milton stammered and fell over his words as his explanation dragged on. you felt sick at this point.

sucking in a deep breath, you forced yourself to grin. "you look lovely, milton! a-and that guy... he's just a friend." you really didn't want to say it. but you knew that it was the truth, and that it was what milton wanted to hear.

milton swallowed hard. "y/n, i know he's not. i've been seeing you... going home with him. and i... it breaks my heart." you cringed at how milton's voice broke. why did he assume that your only option was him, anyways?!

you acted as though you were horrified. "no, no! oh god, never! that's just the guy whose been, um... sharing his car with me. we live in the same apartment complex, and we figured ridesharing would work best for both of us," you explained nervously. milton scowled for a moment before his face broke into a smile.

"oh, wonderful! so this means that you are... single?" you grimaced as milton's smile twisted into a dark, foreboding smirk. you could instantly feel something was wrong, but ignored the instinct.

you forced out a laugh, maybe too loudly. "yep! single as can be, you know!" you could feel your stomach sink further, as if lead weight had been pumped into your system. you began to feel dizzy.

milton's twisted smirk grew even larger as he reached across the table to grab your hands. they were cold, as ice cold as the blood in your veins. you pretended to enjoy it. you needed to get out of here, but finding snuffy was more important.

"oh, y/n! i knew this day would come! just you and me, together! i knew you'd change your mind after arthur was out of the picture!" milton whispered to you gleefully. you felt horror creep up your spine at his words. holy shit. there's no way he actually...

as the waiter came to take your orders, milton's dark disposition dropped almost immediately. he let go of your hands, quickly pulling his own back to his body. "y'know, he always just treated you so horribly. i guess it was just karma coming to him!" you prayed the waiter could sense your terror as you turned to look at them.

"u-um... i'll just take a water, please," you stammered. the chills down your back were nearly impossible to ignore. the waiter seemed to ignore your anxious disposition, instead turning to milton.

"and for you, mr. fieldpool?" the waiter asked, leaning in towards him.

your brain became even more fuzzy. fieldpool? that's arthur's last name, not milton's! milton's last name is... his last name is...

you racked your mind for any recollection of milton's last name. had he ever even introduced himself to you?

you were now rethinking every moment spent with milton. when had you first met him? at work, you knew for sure. but when had he introduced himself?

"oh, please! fieldpool is not a name which i'm associated with anymore," milton's words fell out clumsily, nervously scrambling to hint at the server to shut up.

the waiter looked at milton in confusion, before looking back to you. they let out a quiet ohhh before quickly walking away.

you stared at milton, breathless. it was as if you had been punched in the gut.

and the next statement given by a passing waiter nearly ripped out your heart.

"mr. fieldpool, how have you been doing since your father's passing?"

inside of the restaurant in a shoddily-made disguise sat ace at a nearby table, listening in on the conversation. he held a newspaper with eyeholes cut out, and sported an obnoxiously tall top hat with a monacle and suit.

ace furrowed his brow, looking down at the table. "arthur is milton's father? arthur is milton's father. ARTHUR IS MILTON'S  FATHER?!" he whisper-shouted to himself. he pushed his chair out suddenly, causing a commotion. he raced out of the restaurant, knocking into waiters and tables, knocking dirty dishes out of servers' hands and off tables. you and milton both spun around suddenly, and you immediately knew who the interruption was caused by.

you groaned and covered your face before milton turned his attention back to you. "what's wrong, y/n?" he questioned, and you slammed your hands down on the table suddenly, faking a grin. 

"nothing! everything is just great!" you hissed through your fake smile. milton frowned, tilting his head.

"y/n, are you lying to me?" his creepy demeanor came back, and at this point, you wanted to scream.

"no, no! let's, um, take a walk outside!" you blurted hurriedly. grabbing milton's hand, you rushed out of the restaurant.

dammit, ace. now i've raised too much suspicion!

[furinatism]

ACE VENTURA X READER chapter 11

warnings: none

as much as you hated to admit it, you were a tad bit excited for the date.

not because it was milton, that part creeped you out. but getting all spiffied up, dressing up, going out... after such a stressful week, you had to admit that you were looking forward to it, in a strange way.

part of you didn't want to admit that you were excited to see ace's reaction to how you had fixed yourself up.

it was a strange thing. you didn't like him, not like that! there was just no way!

but as you continued getting ready for the 'date', you found yourself giddy with anticipation to show yourself off to the pet detective who seemed to occupy most of your thoughts...

"y/n!" ace called. "you almost ready for your... big date?!" he was interrupted by the bathroom door creaking open, revealing you.

you stood confidently, wearing your nicest outfit (which you had bought at the beginning of this year if you ever found a reason to treat yourself). your skin was radiant, your eyes sparkled, your smile was beautiful. you truly felt more confident than you ever had.

"hey, uh you... like what you see?" you teased, speaking to ace the first words he had said to you. he was staring, no, ogling at you. you would be embarrassed, but you knew you felt and looked good.

"you're... um, smoking! i-i mean, um, hot! no, uh..." ace's outbursts shocked himself, and he went silent for a moment to actually think before he spoke.

"i think you look wonderful," he finally croaked. you smiled sweetly, but your face burned hotly.

"thank you, ace," you mumbled. the two of you stood there awkwardly for a moment before callie began mewling.

"callie!" you squealed, picking her up briskly and cuddling her close. ace tried to hide his smirk as you continued to babytalk the cat.

you looked up from the adorable kitten and saw ace with that stupid grin on his face, eyes darting away as he whistled 'casually', pretending as if he hadn't been watching.

"hey! what are you smiling about?!" you exclaimed, but couldn't contain your own laughter. ace just shook his head while chuckling. "well then mister, can we take her with us?" you begged. "pleaaaase???" your pleading didn't cease until ace finally gave in.

"fine, fine! get your shoes on and follow me."

the car ride was fairly awkward. you were sitting there, wishing you were going on a date with ace instead. and, unbeknownst to you, ace was sitting there wishing he was your date rather than milton.

when you finally arrived at the restaurant, it was seven on the dot. ace parked a block away so that you wouldn't be seen with him by milton. he had told you it was for your own safety, and you cursed the way your heart fluttered at that. seriously, it's the bare minimum!

ace pulled over, sighing as he unlocked the passenger door for you. callie watched you unbuckle your seatbelt with wide eyes, mewing at you as if to say come back! 

you could feel ace's gaze as you began to get out of the car, and you turned around to look back at him for a moment before your shoes hit the pavement.

"y/n," he started, causing you to stop your exit. you turned your head to look at him, and he could barely meet your eyes with his previously incessant staring.

"yes, ace?" you urged him to continue, dropping your hands into your lap. he swallowed hard, gripping the steering wheel tighter.

your heart pounded in your chest, the sound of the beat in your ears. you knew it was silly, to hope the detective would confess. to even assume he had fallen for you was a gracious play of your imagination.

but still, you hoped. as your heart continued to race and your palms grew sweaty, you hated how you yearned for him to speak three words.

i love you. i love you. i love you.

deep down, you knew it was too good to be true, right? really, what were you even hoping for? how long have you two even known each other for?

when ace opened his mouth again, you could feel yourself willing him to say the three words you needed to hear.

"i-" he began. suddenly, his grip on the wheel loosened. the tension in his body seemed to dissipate, and he sighed. "please stay safe, y/n."

it felt as though all the blood in your veins had frozen over. of course, why were you so dumb? it had only been... well, maybe around a month? what exactly were you expecting?

you turned away to continue your exit from the car. "thanks, ace. i will." you clambered out clumsily, your heart filling with grief.

you could hear him wail out, "y/n, wait..." as you walked away. as much as you didn't want to do this, you knew you'd have to go through with it.

you tried to clear your mind of any thoughts related to ace. after all, snuffy was what mattered.

snuffy was why you had gotten into this mess in the first place. it hit you that it'd been a month since you've seen, well, your best friend.

with a newly kindled fire of determination burning within your soul, you knew you'd have to make it through this in order to get answers about your beloved cat.

and so, you continued on your walk to milton to seal your fate.

[furinatism]

ACE VENTURA X READER chapter 10

warnings: uh? idk, creepy and pushy guy (not ace) who asks reader on a date

it was 8:30 by the time milton finally arrived in the building. you watched as he hastily put away his things, inspecting his desk, cleaning up any mess he had left from the work day before, and made his way to your office.

you held your breath, focusing on the papers in front of you. breathe, y/n. pretend you don't see him, pretend you aren't expecting him. don't act too suspicious, or else he'll suspect something's up. even if he isn't the perpetrator for either crime, you don't want to alert him to any unnecessary information.

"y-y/n! i, um, i'm here to speak to you!" the door slammed softly, milton's nervous tone causing his voice to crack. you sighed lightly, moving your chair to face him.

"what do you need, milton," you demanded. you couldn't be too gentle with him- you still needed to get your point across that you were irritated with him.

"i... i want to apologize. for everything. i should have never confessed, i shouldn't have attacked arthur like that for you. embarrassing you in front of the entire office, that was... unprofessional," milton breathed. you were surprised at how composed he seemed.

"well, thank you for your apology. is that all you had to say?" 

"n-no. not quite, um... t-to make it up to you, i'd like to take you... erm, o-out... OUT TO DINNER!" he forced out, his voice coming out wobbly and uneven. there it is.

"milton, um, i..." before rejecting him, you thought to yourself. outside of a work setting... us two alone, talking... i could question him then!

"i'd love to! how about seven o'clock!" your sudden change in heart shocked milton, but he wasn't complaining. you watched as his face immediately brightened, and he grabbed your hands.

"ohh, thank you, y/n! you will never, ever regret it! thank you!" he cried, skipping out of your office like a schoolgirl.

god, what have i gotten myself into...

the end of your shift arrived faster than you expected, although you're sure ace wouldn't feel that way.

"ace," you murmured, jiggling the supply closet doorknob lightly, "i'm opening up the door now!" you whisper-yelled.

no response, as you had expected.

you opened the door quickly, and there stood ace, pouting. his arms were crossed, face turned away from you, trying to ignore your presence.

"ace, i'm sorry, it was the first thing i could think to do! look, i really need your help, it's an important lead!" you begged. at your own expense, you got down on your knees and grabbed ace's hand, looking up at him.

"please, ace ventura, you're the only pet detective who can help me; without you, i'll be lost," you pleaded pathetically. ace finally looked at you, still pouty.

"fine. let's get in the car, and we'll go from there."

ace was waiting on you to talk for most of the ride, before you finally broke the news to him.

"so... milton came to my office today," you breathed. ace snorted, not taking his eyes off the road.

"i heard. he was making a big fuss out of it, he paces past that supply closet quite often." you were taken aback by ace's sour mood.

"w-well, that's not the point. see, he came to my office... to apologize. and then, he offered me to dinner..." your breath hitched as ace glared at you, gaze piercing.

"how poorly did he take your rejection? did he cry, maybe even sob?" ace mocked, and you scowled at him slightly.

"well, first of all, he didn't do either of those things," you snapped, adjusting your blazer slightly. ace gasped dramatically, eyes widened.

"wow, he took it that well?! amazing! so, what do you want for dinner?" ace's mood changed, suddenly light again while speaking on the topic of you.

"um... i'm going out for dinner," you muttered. ace raised an eyebrow.

"well, a date wasn't on my menu tonight, but allll-righty then!" ace hollered. as much as you wanted to fulfill his wish, you knew you had to break it to him.

"a-actually, ace..." you gulped, trying to steady your shaking hands, "i'm going with milton."

you almost got into a car crash as ace's shock resulted in some serious swerving.

"WHAT?!" he exclaimed, trying to focus on getting back on track with traffic. "are you crazy, y/n?! he's completely obsessed, he'll probably roofie you!" ace cried.

"ok, maybe! but that's why you're coming along," you offered. ace couldn't say no, right? if he was so worried about your safety, then surely he'd do anything to keep you secure.

"oh, boy! thanks y/n, a three-way between you, me, and your stalker! sounds like a perfect plan for the evening! just what i needed to end this ahhh-mazing day!" ace forcibly cackled maniacally, his grin wide.

"no, just stop! dinner with milton away from the office and co-workers may be a chance to reveal some valuable information! whether he's a suspect, the perpetrator, a witness or innocent, it's better to be safe than sorry! i don't feel anything for him at all; this is just for snuffy! you know that," your voice cracked at the mention of your cat. ace sighed, dropping his head while still holding the steering wheel.

"fine. i'll help." your frown turned to a small smile.

"thank you, ace! the date's at seven, so we have half an hour!" you beamed.

and with that, ace drove you home to get ready for your date.

[furinatism]

ACE VENTURA X READER chapter 9

warnings: none

you woke up before ace, and decided you wanted to do something nice for him. it had been a while since you'd made breakfast; ever since snuffy's disappearance, your mind had been preoccupied.

you tried to ignore the thoughts running through your head; the first thing you had seen when you had woken up this morning had been his face. were you complaining? well... you didn't want to think about it.

callie sat at your feet, giving you a questioning look. you smiled at her. "callie! i'm making breakfast for your daddy! then i'll have to leave for work early, alright baby?" you cooed. "today is a crucial day," you muttered to yourself.

it was apparent when ace woke up, as he yawned obnoxiously and came tromping into the living room.

"what's... cookin', good lookin?" he quipped, and you had to hold back an amused chuckle.

"i decided to make waffles for breakfast, if that's alright with you, mr. detective." ace straightened his posture, putting his hands on his hips and turning his nose up at you.

"well... i suppose that should be fine, you peasant!" he cried out in a mock-british accent. you shook your head at him, eyes crinkling up in a smile.

eventually, breakfast was served. ace noticed you hadn't made any for yourself.

"hey, trying out a new fad diet or something?" he wondered. you just stared at him.

"huh?" ace facepalmed at your cluelessness. "you didn't make any for yourself," he pointed out. you let out an ohh at the statement, but didn't seem bothered.

"my nerves won't let me eat today. if i try scarfing down those waffles, they'll just come right back up." ace 'ewww'ed dramatically at your explanation.

"besides," you began once he was finished with his dramatics, "i have to go into work early today."

ace dropped his utensils, craning his neck to look at you in surprise.

"what? why?!" he shouted, his eyes filling with a hint of genuine worry.

you stood up, brushing off your dress pants for any possible crumbs. "i need to investigate the office further. there should be a log of who used the printer that day. if i find anyone suspicious who used it, they'll be under further investigation from us. although i'm not completely convinced that the person who killed mr. fieldpool is the same as the person who killed a cat and stole mine, i figure it's the best lead we have right now."

ace watched you walk to the door, jumping out of his seat suddenly. "h-hey! you're not gonna leave without me, are ya?!" he hollered. you turned to look at him, struggling to keep the grin off your face.

after an exaggerated sigh, you slouched and motioned towards the door. "fine, be my guest," you 'groaned'.

your spirits felt lifted as you saw the excitement etched onto ace's features, the man racing forwards to unlock the door for you. 

"let's get going!" he shrieked. you just laughed and shook your head, watching him barrel down the hall.

"we'll be back, callie!" you called, before following after ace.

entering the building with your work keys, you noticed that even janice had not yet clocked in. ace's car was the only one in the parking lot, and the fluorescent lights had trouble flickering on as you flipped the switch.

"alright, i'll take the left side of the office and you can take the right side." ace's instructions weren't challenged by you, as your heart beat loudly in your ears.

why does the atmosphere feel so tense... even though i'm sure it's only ace and i in the building, it feels like we're not supposed to be here.

sifting through people's desks loudly, ace sang a song to himself. you hissed, "be quiet!" and he ignored you. your unease only grew stronger.

peering into people's personal workspaces wasn't necessarily a hobby of yours. you felt no satisfaction in going through the drawers and desks of the fieldpool & co. office. even once you made it to arthur's office, (or, considering he was gone now, was it just your's?) you felt as if you shouldn't be on the premises.

"a-ace!" you called out shakily, and your words fell on deaf ears. your heart rate quickened, and you sped out of arthur's office.

"ace, quit screwing around!" you cried out, turning a corner.

"BAAAAAAAA!!!!" ace shrieked, and you nearly passed out at the scare.

"YOU DICK!" you screamed, slapping him in the face suddenly. he touched the quickly-turning-red handprint on his face, sucking in a breath.

"just testing your reaction time!" he quipped. you huffed at him, crossing your arms. you decided to follow him from here on, wanting to see what kind of 'detective work' he had been doing.

ace trudged loudly around the office, much to your chagrin. you asked if his footsteps could be any louder, and he just chuckled.

"i couldn't find the printer logs on this side; any luck with you?" ace finally spoke. you shook your head.

"nope, nothing. i could've sworn we kept logs of that stuff, in case of property damage or whatever. maybe we can check the cameras?" you offered.

before ace could answer, the sound of a doorknob turning could be heard. ace grabbed your hand quickly, bolting towards a supply closet.

"no way, i am not hiding in there!" you hissed. ace turned to you with pleading eyes, and you smirked.

"alright, fine," you caved. ace punched the air in... victory?... and opened the door quietly, slipping inside. he held out a hand to you, feigning mock-chivalry.

"i promise not to get too handsy, milday," he purred, waggling his eyebrows and winking.

"i'll come get you at the end of the day," you stated. ace's expression morphed from one of smugness to betrayal. you shut the door, just in time for someone to round the corner.

"oh, y/n!" janice exclaimed, putting a hand over her heart. "what are you doing here so early?" her boston accent slightly soothed your nerves, but not much. you could already hear ace squirming in the closet.

"i wanted to.. look around a bit. i figured i'd take everything in before things change, considering arthur's gone." janice sighed heavily at your words, offering you a sympathetic look.

"i know it's hard, y/n. none of us liked him much, that's for sure, but none of us wanted him dead, either. arthur gave me a low-end job when i was just twenty-four. i was fresh out of beauty school, my boyfriend had dumped me and left me pregnant. i was a wreck. but arthur... despite his faults, he picked me up off the street and took me in. i had no qualifications, but none of that mattered. and now, thirty years later, i have to say goodbye to the only one who gave me a chance," she mourned. your heart twinged. as much as you had hated your boss, deep down there was some compassion in his soul.

"i'll just be at the front desk, y/n. if you need to talk, i'm there," janice affirmed. you smiled somberly at her, and she walked away.

pressing your face to the supply closet door, you muttered, "don't make too much noise in there, ace. if someone finds you, we're toast." you only heard back a hmph! of... confirmation, you supposed, before walking into your office.

"oh, and y/n! i forgot to tell you, milton wanted to see you today. he has something he'd like to discuss," janice informed you.

you felt your insides churn. well, if you wanted answers from him, you guessed this is how you were going to get them.

[furinatism]

ACE VENTURA X READER chapter 8

warnings: brief mentions of kidnapping but in a silly goofy ace ventura way (literally no different than when he ties up burton quinn in the second movie)

turns out ace's 'big plan' was waiting until after hours, knocking laikyn out, and dragging her to some desolate garage in god-knows-where.

"who do you work for?!" ace shouted in her face, doing an impression of someone or something you hadn't the slightest idea of.

"w-who are you?!" she cried. ace wore a 'masterful disguise' as he had put it; sunglasses, a nurse's cap, latex gloves, a surgical mask, a leotard and toe socks. why he went so far as to completely dress up, you weren't sure.

"don't worry, i won't hurt you... unless i have to!" ace shrieked, causing laikyn to cry out.

"please, please don't hurt me!" she screamed. "i haven't done anything wrong... i have two beautiful babies at home!" tears began to flow.

"oh, really?" ace inquired mockingly. "the babies of... ARTHUR FIELDPOOL?!" he shouted in her face, and sobs racked the woman's body.

"no, god, of course not! everyone around the office rumored me sleeping with him for the job. i would never, ever do it! i-i'm committed to my fiance, i made mistakes in the past with older men and i would never go back to that, ever!" laikyn continued to cry. ace quickly looked in your direction. you nodded at him, silently telling him to continue.

"the person at your workplace... same position as you, just got the newest promotion, correct? doesn't it make you SICK?!" ace cackled maniacally. laikyn gazed down at the ground sorrowfully.

"i... i do admit that, i resent them for it slightly. b-but only because... i know why arthur did it. he's a sick man, and loves.. or, i suppose, loved... to toy with people's emotions. giving them that position would make them indebted to him for life, and i knew how it felt. but i also... wanted the position myself. i wanted a high position that i had worked for, that i had rightfully earned... rather than it be given away to someone else for arthur to play his mindgames." 

ace cleared his throat, the responses clearly not what he was expecting. "s-so, you... didn't kill arthur fieldpool?" laikyn cried out in terror.

"that's what this is about?! god no, i would never do such a thing! i don't even know where he lives, and my children need me home by 8:30 every night in order for them to survive! i would never sacrifice my children for such a heinous act, especially over no motive! you can ask my fiance, my children, my nanny, anyone! i wouldn't have been able to kill arthur." 

ace hummed in consideration, looking off to the side. "well, i suppose we'll have to kidnap them, too!" ace shrieked. laikyn began to sob again, before her own cries were cut off by a string of sneezes.

"n-no, please- achoo! d-don't hurt my- achoo babies, or my beloved carl! i'll achoo! do anything!" ace inspected her closer after the sneezing fit, rubbing his chin. laikyn tried her best to reel back.

"no, stay away! do you have a cat here or something?" laikyn shouted, her eyes watering. only this time not with tears of sadness.

ace whistled, pulling a face. "nooope! why do you ask?" laikyn began her fit again, cursing in between sneezes.

"b-because i'm allergic! cats and their hair are the only things that can make me break out like that!" she explained hurriedly, and ace made eye contact with you before looking back at laikyn.

"i'll, uh... just be one moment," he fake-snickered, side-stepping where laikyn was restrained to talk to you.

he began with a shouty whisper, exaggerating his hand and facial movements.

"i, uhh, don't think she took your snuffy." you snorted at the man, raising your eyebrow.

"you don't say?" you mocked, and ace forced a fake laugh at your disapproval. 

ace strode back to laikyn suddenly, dusting off his 'outfit'. "welp, that is all i needed, ma'am. have a nice day!" he sang, before knocking the woman out yet again.

you pinched the bridge of your nose, shaking your head. "seriously, ace, this feels borderline illegal!" the man strutted over to you, whipping off his sunglasses.

"trust me! i'm a... professional, remember?" he winked, before sliding the glasses back on. you simply rolled your eyes.

"so, if it's not laikyn, we're out of suspects," you groaned. ace imitated a record scratch, moving robotically.

"woah, woah, woah! slow your roll there, buckin' bronco! the loverboy! what'd he do to get erased from our list?" ace spat. you scoffed.

"oh come on, milton couldn't hurt a fly even if he wanted to. he's scrawny, scrappy, and wimpy!" you laughed, and ace shook his head in response.

"he's also obsessive, controlling, and over-protective. he yelled at arthur for you, took that black eye for you. i'd go as far as to say he... killed for you, in a literal sense?" ace quipped. you let out a psh and crossed your arms.

"whatever you say, sherlock! guess i should just have more trust in you, huh?" you teased, grabbing onto his arm like a damsel in distress. ace tensed up suddenly, and you stifled a laugh over the red creeping onto his face. "and might i add, mr. ventura, you look absolutely ravishing in this outfit?" ace pulled his arm away quickly, turning away from you.

"hey, are you gonna help me get our suspect back home or what?" you facepalmed.

"shit! how are we gonna manage that?!" you cried out. ace winked.

"i always have a plan."

turns out, the plan was dragging her back to the office and making it look as though she had passed out in a drunken stupor. the plan was... probably foolproof, and you weren't really in the mood to ask questions.

you and ace bantered back and forth on the car ride back to his apartment, and you felt your insides warm at every interaction with the man.

as you stumbled into his apartment, still laughing over some impression he had done, you looked him in the eyes sincerely, smiling for what felt like the first real time in a while.

"ace, i'm serious, thank you for everything you've done. i... it means the world to me, truly," you muttered. ace seemed taken aback by the sudden shift in mood. "um... i... i've actually been feeling a little... lonely, going to sleep without snuffy lately, so... would you like to, um... lie in bed with me?" you choked out, and the detective seemed shocked at your request himself.

"w-well... if you insist," he tried to play it smooth, but you could tell his nerves were beginning to surface as well.

as you nestled under the covers, you felt the weight shift as ace joined you. you both laid straight on your backs, looking at the ceiling together.

"hey, ace?" you finally spoke aloud, breaking the heavy silence. you could tell he turned his head to you, a nonverbal go-ahead for you to continue talking. "did you... always know you were gonna be a pet detective?"

ace chuckled, and you could hear the smile in his voice. "well, not exactly... but i've always been better with animals than humans. and i figured, hey, why the hell not, right?" he murmured.

you could feel yourself melt at how tender and soft his voice had become, and you wanted to slap yourself for becoming so easily enamored with this man's words.

"well, what about you, y/n? did you always know you wanted to be an... underpaid secretary?" ace joked, and he could swear his heart beat faster at your soft laugh.

"no, not at all, if you can believe it... i actually was going to school to be a veterinarian, but... things didn't work out. loans got to be too much, and i was already kicked out by my parents, and impending debt wasn't something i was equipped to deal with, so... i dropped out, took whatever job i could get, and... now i'm here."

ace looked over at you, admiring every feature of your face. he swore he hadn't felt like this, not ever.

"so... you're not living how you want, then?" you chuckled dryly.

"well, duh. i would give everything to finish school, and go be an actual veterinarian. the only thing i want in life, is to help animals as much as they've helped me... kids can be cruel, and people are awful... but animals have never let me down. i could never make real human friends, but... i always had some sort of pet to turn to. that's why snuffy..." you trailed off, and ace could hear the way your breath hitched talking about your lost cat.

"that's why i need her back," you whispered. the silence came again, except for the pitter-patter of paws against the floor.

a soft mrrow? sounded below you, and you instinctively reached to pick up callie. she nuzzled onto your chest, instantly falling asleep. ace laughed.

"that cat loves you," he teased, eyelids growing heavy. you smiled, lighting up the room despite its darkness.

"good thing i love you too..." you muttered sleepily, before your eyes shot wide open. you could hear ace's breathing stop completely, and you panicked.

"i meant callie, obviously!" you exclaimed softly. liar. you affirmed to yourself.

ace's spirits dropped. obviously. he thought.

"i don't know how she's gonna deal with things when you're gone," ace mused. he knew, deep down, he was just using this cat as a way to express his emotions. you didn't need to know that, though.

"i don't know, either. she brings a sense of comfort that i haven't felt for a long time," you admitted. you knew, deep down, you were just using this cat as a way to express your emotions. ace didn't need to know that, though.

ace hummed, before turning towards you.

"so, when you get snuffy back, what do you think you're gonna do?" he asked, holding his breath.

you sighed, hugging callie closer.

"i'm not sure," you admitted aloud. "i guess we'll know when we get there."

with the heavy silence of unspoken words in the air, you both drifted off to sleep.