g0d4m1t

[g0d4m1t]

an angel sheds wretched tears

[g0d4m1t]

Fragments

Pressure on my chest

Reverberations of my own voice trying to bring you back

Confused and scared i try not to struggle

/

Your words make no sense i ask for help

I’m told it’s my job to handle it

I sit there overwhelmed but empty

/

Telling me to make him stop 

That i have to solve it Save Her

My answers burn on my tongue

/

Hands pressed over my ears 

music on full blast

I drown out the fighting for the thousandth time

/

Sitting on the stairs i watch you go

Door slams behind you

And i want you back

/

Forcing my legs down

Struggling i beg

I don’t know what i did wrong

/

pain in my wrists

Fighting i cry

I now know what you don’t like

[g0d4m1t]

[g0d4m1t]

[g0d4m1t]

[g0d4m1t]

[g0d4m1t]

[g0d4m1t]

ADDICTION

line after line

adrenaline pumping

blow after blow

tensing of the body

everything gone numb

the world around me disappears

falling into the pit

rock bottom they call it

rock bottom is where i’m at peace

broken and lost

everything goes white

peace

where am i

who am i

why am i here

in the mirror

i see a person

that cant be me

throbbing of the head

broken mirror

hand bloodied

peace

black shadows

run across my mind

paranoia

black shadows

in the corner

fear

i feel sick to my stomach

guilt

peace

repeat….

withdrawals

bones chattering

body aching

it feels like i’m drowning

but in a desert

peace

no where to be found

the seas are calming

waves no longer crashing

toxins in my veins are starting to depart

new thoughts come into play

time for help

peace is coming

rehab

therapy after therapy

night after night

shakes after shakes

the world feels new

finally at peace

_______________________