gallavichmeta

[gallavichmeta]

in this post https://www.tumblr.com/gardenerian/706641891291217920/mel-i-am-wondering-when-you-think-ian-told-mickey?source=share you said you wanted a reminder to talk about how depressed ian was in s6 !!! I'd love to read it if you wanna sound off about it!!!!

hey there 💓 you sent this days ago and i have had a time with it - thanks for being patient.

i originally wrote this as an episode-by-episode breakdown like my s8 meta, but it stopped making sense and honestly kinda bummed me out asdkfh so instead, i'm gonna talk about a couple of things that are going on for ian in s6. if you wanna talk about any specific episodes or moments, lmk and we can definitely dive in.

i namely want to get into what mania can do to the brain, what recovery looks like, and how depression manifests in the process. i think these things are under-explored in shameless - and talking out some shameless misconceptions is something i've been thinking a lot about lately.

and so, onwards:

standard disclaimer that i am neither a doctor nor an expert, just a sick person who gets sick. i've done some reading and listening, but others can speak to this a lot better than i can. anyone else is welcome to chime in.

i guess we should begin by pointing out how soon s6 picks up after 5x12. it’s been what? weeks? debs is just confirming her pregnancy, so it hasn’t been too long - but long enough for carl to have spent some time in juvie.

so let’s recap on the last year or so of ian’s life:

manic episode -> depressive episode -> manic episode with psychosis -> hospitalization -> attempt at medication -> arrest -> implosion of personal life and break up -> now we’re at a kind of baseline depression

and that’s where we find him in s6. and i think it’s important to understand what ian’s been through in the lead up to this - not just situationally, but what his mind has literally just been through. 

what goes up must come down, yeah? ian spent much of the previous two seasons manic as all get out. his brain has really been through the wringer. studies show that bipolar disorder may cause physical changes to brain over time, and functional abnormalities during episodes. 

there are also studies that argue that bipolar can cause accelerated decrease of grey matter in the brain - which impacts physical coordination and motor skills, memory, and emotional regulation. there are degenerative health effects associated with illnesses like bipolar. untreated bipolar get worse with each each sequential episode.

this is not to say that ian is suffering from these longterm effects a year into his illness, but his brain has really gone through it. there is more to recover from than just the situational consequences. there’s a physical and neurological recovery as well. severe episodes like ian’s (untreated manic episodes can last 3-6 months) estimate about a 12-18 month recovery. 

and there’s a lot involved in this. it’s medication and vitamins, exercise, vitamin d. it’s financial recovery. rebuilding relationships. confidence. a sense of self and purpose. picking up the pieces of what the episode left in its wake. 

but it’s also cognitive recovery. working on memory, executive function, focus, sleep. i think a lot of people look at ian in s6 and think that the depression largely stems from the breakup and the diagnosis - i see a lot of fics that have ian realizing “what he’s done” with mickey after the meds kick in, and that’s what sends him off on this depressive mood we see. 

and of course that’s part of it. regret and shame are awful things to face. and there is a grief that accompanies recovery. you’re mourning your health, your plans, the future you thought you were building. 

and in a lot of ways, you end up mourning the mania itself - the ideas you had, the power you felt. it can feel like nothing will make you truly special or worthy again. and so you get depressed. it’s all over, and what’s left? what now?

the depression also comes from the ways we are all forced to define recovery. when do you get to declare yourself recovered, and what do you have to achieve first? what are the indicators of progress? for ian, i think the depression deepens when it comes to this aspect of the timeline. there’s no such thing as just bouncing back from an episode like that - and it’s so much more intricate than just rebuilding the social and practical aspects of his life. 

routine is good for us but it’s also boring sometimes. recovery is boring sometimes. when you’ve been going and moving and acting - the monotony of healing can be infuriating. i think ian definitely deals with this. when the progress is slow and largely internal, it can seem like we’re just stagnant. it feels awful. ian is lost, even as he heals. 

there are other studies that argue that existing scales and rating systems for bipolar depression can fail to capture the nuances of bp lows. this is because they are skewed towards unipolar depression (or MDD). so when we talk about bipolar depression, it’s important to really understand what we’re saying - we need to take into account the possible polarity changes within a single episode, we need to remember the greater mood variability. 

i think shameless skewed the fandom perception of what bipolar depression looks like. the first lows we see - monica in s2 and ian in s4 - show us catatonic characters completely unable to function. ian just seemingly wakes up that way. they don’t see it coming. 

and that happens. of course it does. other studies suggest that bipolar depressions might be shorter, but they are quicker to onset and have greater frequency than MDD. but that’s not the whole picture - and i think we do ian a disservice by glossing over the nuances of his experience and recovery. 

there are also cognitive troubles associated with depression that can only be compounded by those associated with mania and medication. it’s all of this that makes ian’s s6 story so remarkable. but it’s those s6 episodes that show us how deep it can settle in the bones, how tiring it is to exist, drifting from recovery milestone to recovery milestone - and then, before you know it, you’re blinking awake a little easier. thinking a little clearer. quicker, sharper. with something to fight for. a life to look forward to ❤️

[gallavichmeta]

Mickey purposely hitting his own head very hard into a wall and Mickey punching his own reflection in the mirror… should we talk about that

[gallavichmeta]

The fact that in 9x05 when Ian goes to Terry for advice about prison Terry says “Mickey’s in Mexico” when he first opens the door makes me wonder if Mickey made contact with Terry either while he was in prison or when he escaped because how else would Terry know that? Mickey was a fugitive no one was supposed to know his whereabouts and unless it was public knowledge that he was there (which I don’t think it was considering he was never caught) how did Terry know that?

Idk I think it makes Mickey going to Terry for advice about Paula in season 10 more significant and shows it’s not out of character for him to do that because as much as he hates Terry there’s a part of him that still wants Terry to be a dad to him sometimes.

[gallavichmeta]

I think we all fundamentally take Ian and Mickey's final episode in S2 wrong...

If we just take the "warm mouth" scene alone at face value then sure, Mickey is absolutely being deliberately cruel to Ian.

But let's look at how Ian takes it in the wake of that exchange, he talks about it only once in the next few episodes, and he says to Mandy that "Mickey thinks I pussied out" [on killing Frank] and he thinks he 'kinda' did.

This is Ian and Mickey soulmatism "we just get each other on a molecular level", so their thought process is somewhat inscrutable to us on the outside, but I think, in a way, that Mickey was already pretty serious about his relationship with Ian in season 2 and seeing Ian not willing to "fight" for them to be together felt like the ultimate betrayal.

Let's not forget that in that initial scene right after Frank discovered them Mickey was talking in plural, 'we do this, we do that'.

Seeing Ian refusing to help him the way he needed to be helped was definitely something that hit Mickey hard and caused him to lash out.

And it's not like Ian wasn't trying in his way! He was going through what he thought was the safest route to keep Mickey around cause he also cares a great deal about his not-boyfriend (let's not forget that the point of not killing Frank isn't that he turns his nose up at patricide but that he didn't want Mickey to go to juvie).

By misunderstanding his actions and not giving him time to explain Mickey jumps the gun and says what he says, and he's only able to see reason months later when nothing happens from the safety of prison.

There's obviously that other layer to the conversation, that Ian fundamentally doesn't understand the severity of the risk for Mickey and just how afraid he is ('we've got nothing to be ashamed of' 'what fucking world do you live in') because their families are so different, which will bite him in the ass later.

Mickey coming back to Ian in S3 the way he did, I know some people found it weird that Ian was immediately on board when their last interaction was what it was (cause we're fixated on the "you're nothing but a warm mouth"), but what they don't get is that this is Mickey forgiving Ian and giving him another chance, not the other way around.

Edit: I also don't think that that whole situation was swept under the rug either, Mickey learns pretty quickly that Ian isn't at his beck and call anymore at the beginning of S3, despite what their initial reunion suggests, that he's got "options" (yes Ian was doing it to make him jealous, but he doesn't know that) and I think that was him learning that in S2 he had pushed Ian too far away, that his words and actions had consequences in the relationship.

[gallavichmeta]

I think we need to analyse this scene a little today:

This scene is short, but probably one of my favorite in the whole show. Gallavich are finally together again, they're navigating being stuck together, but Ian has to get out of jail; they'll have to be once again separated. For the first time, Mickey is the one fighting for Ian to leave.

Why? Because he cares about him. It shows how he places Ian above what he personally wants or believes in. Ian comes first.

And that whole dialogue:

"I wanna be where you are, Mickey!"

"You don't get to be."

It's what Shameless has shown countless of times; Gallavich want to be together, and they get separated. As if they don't belong together. And this time, Mickey urges it's because Ian needs to have a stable job and go see his nephew; showing once again how much he cares about Ian.

"I love you."

"I know."

It's the second time Ian tells Mickey he loves him out loud. When was the first time? Before he left Mickey at the Mexico border. To me, Mickey's answer is so telling.

He knows.

Despite everything that life has thrown at them, despite all the hardships, the times Ian left and the times Mickey was running away from himself too, he knows. He knows Ian loves him, wants to be where he is. He might have had little periods of self doubt, obviously, but deep down, he has always known. Always felt that what he and Ian had was unlike anything else; why else would he come back and risk himself otherwise? For sure, there's his love for Ian, but being in the same cell...I firmly believe Mickey has always known that he and Ian loved each other and were it for each other. Even when Ian was leaving, he knew it was only a question of time before they found each other again.

And now, life threatens to separate them again. It hurts, it's scary, but Mickey wants the best for Ian. Because he has always known that no matter what happens, Ian loves him, wants to be with him. And the feeling is mutual.

Not only this, but it's also the first scene in which they both say "I love you" to each other. Shows how strong and solid they are, no matter what happens. All that matters is that they love each other. They're meant to be together.

I'm so happy they got their happy ending.

[gallavichmeta]

Mickey in 7x10 at the docks

Mickey walks up self assured. Ian is there. This is all going to plan. He's confident. He's happy. He's ribbing with Ian about going to prison for him. It reads rehearsed to me. The whole meeting reads as something you think of when you have nothing to do. Like Mickey wondered what he would say to Ian, and where to meet "for real" after sussing out if he could still trust him. (1, 2)

So when Ian says "I have a boyfriend." it's the first time Mickey is unsure. Look at his anxious tells!!:

the step back. wide eyes. the nervous lip bite. scratching his eyebrow and face with his thumb. turning away to hold back. Ian mentions a boyfriend and immediately his insecurity flairs. Thinks of when he was his boyfriend. How Ian had really moved on while he was in there. He hadn't waited. He knew Ian had lied that day, but he still got Ian to say it. He's been clinging to that hope. Probably thrilled when he found a way back to him sooner than the end of his sentence. So Ian comes, like Mickey knew he would. He came and he looks healthy and he called him Mick. Mickey doesn't understand why they're not just getting to the fucking part. Because he knows he missed that part, knows Ian had to have. (3) "I have a boyfriend." and suddenly Ian isn't his yet. This isn't a celebratory fuck like he'd hoped. This is now Mickey convincing Ian, reminding Ian. Reminding him what they had together. Doing it in the way Mickey knows the two of them have never had trouble with. Sex. (footnotes after the read more.)

Bringing Ian to the bleachers is such an emotional manipulation! lmao Mickey knew what he was doing with that move. but also the fact that his hitman cellmate is right there like backup in case Ian snitched. Mickey's so smart guys.

Mickey thoughts: so it's gotta be somewhere neutral and quiet. and somewhere I can make an entrance. And i'm gonna walk up and say-- no wait, i'll walk up and kiss him. And then we'll probably have sex. And then I'll bring up going to prison for him... naturally. I really don't think Mickey had a contingency for anything other than Ian's following him at that stage. Mickey thinks he has Ian in the bag. Ian's there.

I've often wondered how quickly he started thinking about escape. Did he expect to keep taking jobs from Svet for however long he had to, so she'd bring Ian? Did he think Ian would be fine, and Ian had broken up with him, and he was still visiting, sooo... but then Ian didn't look better like he looked better last time. Ian didn't come back to him this time. No one else sees Ian like Mickey does. I think Mickey knows it. Saw it. Mickey notices. And Mickey does something he's good at. Finding Ian. This time he just had more physical obstacles than usual.

[gallavichmeta]

I think Ian has every right to talk about Frank's abuse, honestly. You can't just dismiss the abuse Frank inflicted on Ian and the rest of the kids just because Terry's abuse was worse.

That said, I don't think that this scene the right moment to bring it up.

The timing and the context are the issues. Mickey was clearly having a moment. Seeing his dad paralyzed, I think a part of him felt bad for Terry, even though he hates him. Terry put Mickey through literal hell for years, making his life unbearable. In this scene, Mickey's expressing his emotions about Terry in a way he rarely does, because he's right there in front of him, in pain and paralyzed. Mickey’s being honest and upfront about Terry’s abuse in a way he doesn’t do often - compare how he acts there to "you don’t know a thing about my dad!"

That moment wasn’t the right time for Ian to make it about Frank or his own family, in my opinion. It turned it into a competition, failing really offer him the support he needed.

I will say, Mickey probably doesn’t even realize this; he likely thinks he shouldn’t need support, because why would he care about what that asshole is going through? He probably wouldn’t have been very receptive at the moment, and maybe Ian’s thinking of that. But handling it differently still would’ve been better for them in the long run.

Imo Ian should’ve just bitten his tongue, listened to Mickey with care, and tried to understand him. Frank’s abuse definitely warrants a conversation between them, but that wasn’t the right time or way to do it. I like to think they had a more mature and understanding conversation about it after Frank died.

Maybe Ian was trying to make Mickey feel less alone in his feelings. Like saying, "I hate my dad too, you’re not bad for feeling that." But Mickey's struggle is that sometimes he doesn’t hate Terry. And the complexity of this and Mickey’s feelings about Terry is something Ian has always struggled to wrap his head around, and thus he struggles to console him, (not just in that scene, but throughout the show). And Ian’s confusion isn’t unwarranted, feelings around abusive parents are complicated.

(I will say while it makes a lot of sense for Ian to be like that in the earlier seasons when he was young, I don’t really understand why they continued to write him like that in the later seasons, because of what he went through after Monica died. But, alas, that’s how they wrote him).

Anyway, Ian often trips up when trying to console Mickey because he doesn’t really understand Mickey’s feelings. Ian can also just get too caught up in his own feelings that it causes him to lose sight of things. Because of this, when he does try to comfort Mickey, he tries to console him the way he would console himself - telling Mickey that Terry was an asshole who hated them anyway “Terry hated you. He hated us.” But since they don’t really feel the same way about their dads, it doesn’t actually help Mickey. It’s the only way Ian can really think of, though.

However, Ian gets there eventually. Even if he still doesn’t quite know what to say, he learns to just be there for Mickey. I think he still doesn’t really get Mickey’s feelings by the end of Terry’s “funeral,” (which tbf, neither does Mickey, really) but he does know that Mickey needs comfort and a distraction, so he finally puts his own confusion aside and offers Mickey comfort through affection and humour/distraction. Basically saying, “idrk what you’re going through, but I’m here anyway.”

And then we have this scene!

Ian handled the “I’d be a shitty dad” situation really well. He sensed Mickey’s discomfort and didn’t try to side step it like he had done in the past. Once Mickey spoke, he knew that Mickey needed physical touch more than a lot of words. He also didn’t try to go deep into why Mickey felt that way etc. because he knew Mickey wasn’t ready for that yet. He just gave him reassurance and love. He validated his feelings but still disputed them, because he doesn’t believe Mickey would be a shitty dad, and Ian wants him to know that. Plus, Mickey actually communicated why he was feeling on edge and didn’t try to run away! They’re learning!

Season 11 had so many flaws, and even this scene isn’t perfect (talking about having kids while acting like Yevgeny never existed???). BUT this scene shows how far they’ve come, and that they’re both learning and getting better at communicating and understanding. I think it leaves the audience feeling that their relationship is moving in a good direction for the future.

[gallavichmeta]

do you ever think about mandy telling ian that being with caleb was an upgrade from mickey?

i think about the look on his face and the hesitation in speaking to mandy about it. to me it’s like ian was disappointed in knowing mandy would still look down on mickey, especially considering she was there witnessing him taking care of ian and his disorder. i love that ian says i miss mickey despite him telling svetlana he’s ’done with that part of his life’ and hurting mickey in the prison scene.

i feel like that’s the moment ian’s mask slips away and he wants to be honest with mandy for a second, allowing himself to acknowledge that he does miss mickey but he broke up with him because he loves him too much.

this is why he quickly adds the ‘but’ trying to convince himself that what he has now it’s okay, he can move on. adding the bit about him surely breaking up with caleb because of him being bipolar says a lot about them too. cause ian expects caleb to leave him and he’s ‘okay’ with it. what ian knew back then too was that mickey wouldn’t have left ian, ever. he didn’t want mickey to suffer and put him through all that— after being with his mother and having to live with her and her boyfriend in their miserable state. he realised what he would have put mickey through and did what he considered the best thing for him.

he kept himself busy, building his life away from him, getting into relationships and pretending that was what he truly wanted, but then he hears about mickey being back and suddenly everything comes crashing down. all of his intense feelings, what made him feel alive, those are back.

ian not being able to sleep at night cause he kept thinking about mickey shows why he would protect himself by pretending he doesn’t care

when he meets mickey for the first time after jail, he goes straight to him to ‘fight’ and it feels like ian has never been more alive than that time. i don’t see him pretending or trying to fit into what he is not ( which is what i think he did with his other relationships as they kept judging ian for one thing or another )

when he talks to fiona at night he tells her he can’t get him out of his head, he finally admits that he’s always thought of mickey and finally seeing him led to him spiralling and all of his self control going to shit. trying to control himself not to give in, cause he’s done that so well by having mickey away from him, out of reach but he’s there now and he can’t help it.

he literally saw mickey a couple of hours before saying that and they were together for like, 5 minutes? yet that was enough for ian to feel that thrill that he tried so hard to forget and convince himself he could live without.

i love that he runs away with mickey, i love that mickey tells him ian was the only one that had his back and that not even his family did half of the shit ian did for him. how ian admits he didn’t visit because it was hard to see him through the glass, cause fuck how can he keep himself stable if everything he wants and makes him happy is so close but so far away? and then ian admitting he thought of mickey a lot, finally being honest about that.

i completely get ian not going to mexico with mickey back then, that would have been a shit show for both but i also love the fact that ian wanted to be there so that he could see with his own eyes that mickey was finally safe and once again free (in some extent).

him telling lip about running away, asking if he should have gone with mickey. like he knows he wanted to do that, he forced himself to walk away but the moment he thought lip considered them running away together a good idea, he felt hopeful and regretful cause he wanted someone else to confirm he’s not losing control but that it was ok to do, the right thing.

but monica dies right there and i can’t imagine ian being in mexico finding out about it and being so far away, not being able to go back. i feel like mickey would have blamed himself so much for that too.

things go to shit from there on and i know it’s both because of monica dying and mickey leaving. he doesn’t have the time to control himself, to shut his feelings off and put mickey in the back of his mind locked away like before. everything comes crushing down and then trevor isn’t supportive, blames him for things and gets angry at him for the whole gay jesus thing (like hello, he’s having a bipolar episode? )

i’m sure ian just couldn’t stop himself comparing the way mickey treated him, loved him and cared for him during his ups and downs— to how trevor dealt with it all. he keeps going down cause nothing makes sense anymore.

then he goes to prison, everything still sucks and it worse because he’s still recovering, still vulnerable and has to spend years in a place that’s not safe, not familiar to him. but he sees him, he sees mickey and it’s like he can breathe for the first time. he’s finally safe and he’s loved

[gallavichmeta]

i will never forget the person who said smthin like ian was selfish for asking mandy "why did he think it was me?" instead of comforting her about the terry situation. like. have yall met mandy?? 😭 cause ian has that's his best friend and he knows if he tries to console her she'll just get cagey. he was not being selfish and raising money for her abortion was the best move bc for milkoviches actions speak louder than words

and that's exactly why she hugged him so lovingly bc he saw such an ugly part of her life and didn't shy away or treat her with kid gloves he immediately came up with a plan to alleviate some of her pain and she KNEW that

[gallavichmeta]

soemtimes I wish someone who isnt a romantic partner would have cared for Ian enough. like ofc mickey cares immensely and I don't wanna discredit the good he does for Ian. But there are so many things in Ian's life where he needed care and love and reassurance from someone he is not romantically involved with.

being groomed from a young age, and nobody cared enough to see what's going on with kash, and when lip did, he did nothing. when Fiona and Jimmy Steve found out Ian was sleeping with Ned, nobody cared enough about Ian to help him. Instead it was all about Jimmy Steve and his man baby feelings about his dad being queer.

when Ian was crying about the aftermath of s3ep6 and s3ep9, Frank was heading a gay rights movement purely for his own gain, while Ian's siblings feasted on a gift basket sent to their house. Nobody wondered where Ian was, so he was sobbing in his bed, alone.

when Ian ran away to the army, his entire family just accepted it, the fucking Milkoviches were more worried about Ian than his own family.

when in s6 Ian doesnt know what to do with himself, nobody cares enough to show him that his life isnt over bc of his diagnosis. nobody cares enough to tell Ian that he still has options, that he can survive.

when Ian is heartbroken, nobody cares enough about it to tell him anything but "good riddance".

when Ian has a crisis of faith and loses himself in religion and mania, nobody cares about him enough to talk to him until its to late. nobody sees him enough to know if he is taking his meds.

In the Gallagher household Ian doesn't exist. Fiona and Lip are bonding and supporting each other (no matter how angry and misguided sometimes) in their role as the eldest. Debbie and Carl are looking out for each other, and Fiona and Lip always have an eye on them bc they're younger. Liam gets raised by everyone. But Ian just kind of floats around in the void, and while they all may love him, they don't notice him.

Lip and Ian are close, but they aren't caring for each other properly.

As long as Ian contributes to the squirrel fund and doesnt make a fuss, they dont see him.

And once his mental state gets bad they all sit around wondering why they didnt catch it sooner. But they never look.

I just wish that someone would see Ian Gallagher.

[gallavichmeta]

a mickey milkovich + physical affection in s11 meta

Mickey Milkovich went from flinching away any time Ian tried to touch him in a non-sexual setting to accepting physical acts of love and affection even when it’s difficult for him to do so. And i wanna talk about those moments and progression of it as seen in the later seasons of shameless.

I do think that the writers did a good job at portraying the difference in the moments in which he would accept the physical touch with a smile and when it was more difficult for him to do so. (ps me saying the writers did anything gOOd in the later seasons of shameless is quite a rare occurrence)

Season four is when we really begin to see the beginning of that shift into accepting it from Ian. Season five we see that he has gotten more comfortable in receiving as well as giving, especially in times of distress regarding Ian. The next time we see them as a fully functioning couple, there are definitely times in which Mickey was hesitant to accept it but only in times when he felt vulnerable and exposed in terms of his past.

I am going to focus on the later season here as that is when we see Mickey begin to actually address the situation with his father. For example, 11x12 when he had just revealed a genuine fear of his that branches from the abuse he faced in childhood, he flinches at/recoils at Ian’s attempt to comfort him. However, later in the episode, he accepts these joyful acts of affection from Ian because it is something he is no longer ashamed of. He does not shy away from physical affection when it comes from a place of being open and in love with Ian.

I think that this shows that although Mickey has become comfortable and unapologetic in his sexual identity, he has not made those strides in other areas of his life. He still feels this grave shame regarding his father and the abuse he faced. He thinks it makes him weak and has trouble admitting that it is something that has impacted him to this day. It is also shown in 11x06 when Mickey accepts help from Ian in getting Terry up the steps. Ian stops him, holding his head and reassuring that he is nothing like Terry. Mickey struggles to even look Ian in the eye at this time, the vulnerability so overwhelming. It is so interesting how he tends to resent any affection during times regarding that part of his life that he has never fully healed from. It is also incredible to see how Ian knows exactly how to deal with him in those situations. He knows what Mickey needs, offering small acts of affection in those times until the finale. It is as if Ian was holding in this urge to embrace him, so he finally gives in and forces Mickey into the hug, knowing it is what he needed once Mickey stops resisting almost immediately.

anyways, mickey milkovich still has a lot to heal from regarding his past but has come so far in accepting himself and i’m so proud of him and ian is so proud of him and he couldn’t have done it without him anddddd yeah enjoy these pics of him being happy and in love

[gallavichmeta]

Imagine how mickey felt when Terry walked in on them literally days after he finally kisses Ian.

Mickey has spent ages scared to kiss Ian, to let him in. Not kissing Ian protected him, and he finally gets over that fear after AGES. Then his worst fear comes true days later, Terry finds out.

All that they had been working towards all that fucking emotional growth crushed. His fears are validated in the most horrible and traumatic way.

And he still goes to find Ian. He still kisses him after that. The fact he was able to do that is fucking amazing.

[gallavichmeta]

Ian, look at me. — Mick. Pause.

requested by @whaticameherefor

[gallavichmeta]

"I hate Debbie" okay and? Me and my tumblr followers disagree

[gallavichmeta]

@sam-loves-seb don't hide this in the tags 😭

[gallavichmeta]

I’m just now realizing that we only ever hear Mickey call Ian “Gallagher”, or some other generic term, for a solid three and a half seasons after they first hook up. It’s impersonal. Disconnected. “Gallagher” is no one special. Just a guy Mickey works with. Hangs out with sometimes. Bangs occasionally.

In 4x07, we finally hear Mickey call him Ian for the first time. What has changed? Ian left, forcing Mickey to confront his real feelings. He misses him. Aches for him. Feels completely lost without him. Even if he’s still not able to admit it to anyone else, he at least has to admit it to himself. No matter how much he tries not to care, he cares.

Then Mickey finds out Ian is in trouble. He goes to find him and what he discovers terrifies him. He sees Ian and instantly knows something isn’t right. He can see Ian is lost and hurting. Reckless and a danger to himself. Mickey suddenly finds himself feeling fiercely protective of Ian. Ian. This man he’s tried so hard to deny his feelings for. Whom he now realizes he is deeply in love with. Not just generic Gallagher, but Ian. Calling him by his first name is much more intimate and personal than he’s ever been; he’s outwardly acknowledging their connection in his own subtle way. The only way he feels comfortable with at that time.

Every time he utters the name Ian, it comes out so soft. Like he cherishes that name on his lips. He still calls him Gallagher over the years but it’s used more as a term of endearment now, and he clearly enjoys being silly with random nicknames (red, sugar tits, lover, tough guy). But Ian seems to be reserved for when he’s wants to communicate sincerity in what he’s saying. It’s so special and just another way that Mickey has grown and evolved.

[gallavichmeta]

Not a SINGLE day goes by where I don't DESPISE with all my heart whoever was responsible for the finale of the season 4 in regards to Ian and Mickey. Dude. Give them a fucking break. I'm not even kidding give them ONE(1) episode of happiness. Why did it have to be depression hours after the Mickey's coming out? Seriously all I ever fucking asked for WAS ONE EPISODE OF HAPPINESS. THEY DESERVE IT. WE DESERVE IT. ONE EPISODE WHERE THEY DON'T GO THROUGH THE MOST VILE SHIT KNOWN TO HUMANITY. ONE.