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The Fantastic Four: First Steps, but with Muppets

Welcome back to the second installment of -But With Muppets! Since my Hamilton, but with Muppets post was such a hit (thanks for all 14 of those notes), I wanted to do another! So here is my cast of Fantastic Four: First Steps, but with Muppets! (Explanations will be below the list)

Reed Richards: Kermit

Sue Storm: Miss Piggy

Johnny Storm: Gonzo

Ben Grimm: Rowlf

Franklin: A Real Baby

Galactus: Animal

Shalla-Bal: Camilla

Lynne Nichols: Janice

Ted Gilbert: Fozzie Bear

Rachel Rozzman: Afghan Hound

Mole Man: Mr. Mole

H.E.R.B.I.E.: 80s Robot

Explanation Below

Starting off with our core four, these first few casting choices felt pretty self-explanatory. Kermit would just fit the role of Reed Richards so well. He is kind of a nervous genius like Reed, and he is very caring about his family and friends. Also, I feel like the conversation Reed and Sue have when trying to find a way to stop Galactus had very similar vibes to the Kermit and Miss Piggy arguments/confrontations in the more recent Muppet movies. This brings us to Miss Piggy as Sue Storm. I think this role would be great for Miss Piggy because we would get to see her playing a more serious role, and we'd see how versatile she truly is. Also, who else would be Kermit's wife??? Next, Johnny Storm will be played by Gonzo. I decided on this because of Gonzo's association with space correlating well with Johnny's romance with the Silver Surfer. Along with this, I read that the actor for Johnny wanted to get rid of some of his characters womanizing tendencies, and I think Gonzo's portrayal would continue to make steps away from those actions and lean into more innocent displays of affection. Then, we have Rowlf as Ben Grimm. One aspect of Rowlf that I feel gets overlooked a lot is his relationship with Kermit. Rowlf has regularly provided a grounding presence for Kermit, along with giving him advice and reassurance when he needs it. This fits well with Reed and Ben being close friends (also on a meta note, Rowlf being a live hand puppet means he can hold, pick up, and throw stuff). Lastly, making Franklin a real baby might seem like a lazy decision, but I just think it would be funny for two Muppets to have a human child, and Muppets is all about leaning into the camp and running jokes.

Next, Shalla-Bal and Galactus. I made Shalla-Bal Camilla because of her obvious ties to Gonzo, who will be our Johnny Storm, but also because she speaks in a language that no one can quite understand except Gonzo. Galactus will be played by Animal. This feels self explanatory, so I'm just gonna say that author Christopher Finch called Animal "the ultimate representation of a long line of Muppets who personify unbridled appetite."

Now for the side characters! The CEO of the Future Foundation, Lynne Nichols, will be played by Janice because I don't know any Muppets who love peace and tranquility more than her. Ted Gilbert, the talk show host, will be portrayed by Fozzie Bear because I'm convinced the scene at the end of the movie where he hypes up the Fantastic Four being on the show and then they aren't there is a bit that has happened to Fozzie in some form of Muppet media. Rachel Rozzman is the Afghan Hound (deep cut, I know) because who else would Rowlf fall in love with other than another dog? Mole Man will be Mr. Mole from Elmo the Musical (I know, another deep cut). Lastly, H.E.R.B.I.E. will be played by the 80s Robot from the Muppets (2011) because I literally saw H.E.R.B.I.E. and immediately was like "oh that's just 80s Robot from Muppets," also bro is way too underrated.

So there's my Muppet casting of Fantastic Four: First Steps. It's definitely a smaller list than last time, but they can't all be Hamilton so it's whatever. If y'all have any ideas or recommendations for future cast lists, feel free to lmk, and please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments (just please be considerate). Thanks for reading!!!

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I've started working on a Muppets casting for Fantastic Four: First Steps. It might be posted tonight, it might not be, so keep an eye out.

Also, if y'all have any recommendations for stuff I should cast the Muppets in, definitely lmk. I need more fun ideas lol

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If I had a nickel for every song I like that referenced Saskatchewan, I'd have two nickels.

I guess this is just what it's like being fan of Chappell Roan and the Muppets.

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The lion does not concern itself with the bank account balance when a little treat is calling

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The party are comprised of slug folk trapped in the Great Salt Flats.

I've never seen a better metaphor for my life.

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Respectfully, I think someone dying within 20 minutes of a bear coming into their house sounds pretty logical.

Also, 20 minutes is a generous estimate

According to old finnish folklore, having a wild animal wander into your house is an omen of death. The bigger the animal, the more imminent the death. A small bird, like a sparrow or a finch, is a sign that someone who lives in the house will die within the year. If the animal that has somehow made its way inside the house is a small mammal like a hedgehog, or a larger bird like an owl or raven, would mean that death is coming to visit in the next few months.

Massive megafauna, like a fully-grown moose or a bear, is a sign that someone will probably die within the next 20 minutes.

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Dude, I cannot do today. Like, Ozzy Osbourne dies, and while I'm busy trying to distract my brain, I open Instagram to doomscroll and find that the Muppets Instagram account posted this.

I LITERALLY CAN NOT CATCH A BREAK

On a serious note, rest in peace, Ozzy, and thank you for everything.

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I was watching Bluey (as one does), and I put the Faceytalk episode on because it's lowkey the only episode I know. Then, all of a sudden, while Muffin is hiding under the bed with the phone, the background music starts to sound really familiar. The song playing wad the Toreador March.

I know this doesn't sound crazy. Just some random classical, royalty free music. No, you have definitely heard this song before. Let me jog your memory:

WHO LET FREDDY FREAKING FAZBEAR IN MY BLUEY

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Yk I used to love finding things from tumblr reposted to Instagram bc it let me experience the vibe without caving in and just downloading tumblr, but now I don't like it bc I can't reblog all the funny tumblr things I see on Instagram :(

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I fear I'm gurdly hurdying

hurdy gurdying or gurdly hurdying? 🤨

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you know i keep that mf thang on me

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A true hero. We salute you, Comrade Bee 🫡🫡🫡

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Same concept, different font

(Song edition)

We Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel

I've Been Everywhere by Johnny Cash

The Pokérap from the Pokémon Anime

These are all the same song but just in different genres and I won't be convinced otherwise.

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As I grow older I feel my capacity to understand that Miss Piggy is not a real person reached a peak in my adolescence and is now on a steady decline. I watched a Wendy Williams interview and there's this part that's like "can we get a ring cam!" and Miss Piggy shows her bling and I'm just like fuck she's so iconic. Miss Piggy who are you wearing? Miss Piggy have you ever considered running for office??

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Not to get sappy, but I love my dog so damn much. Like, she is a goddess among mortals and I get the privilege of being her best friend? How'd I get this lucky??? And it's not just me, like everyone in my family feels this way too. Like, her drool and eye boogers are the glue that holds this house together.

Here's her majesty, if you were curious