ghost-bud

[ghost-bud]

“I forgot my name again, I think that’s something worth remembering”

It is so interesting how Mafuyu’s relationship with identity is portrayed in PJSK. The way she masks herself for others—building up a whole other persona. The way that her strive to live up to the pressure of her mother leaves her in such a state of apathy affecting her so far as resulting in lack of taste

[ghost-bud]

Fault

It never fails to sadden me that despite how clearly Kanade could have never predicted her song to bring that outcome, she continues to believe she is such a horrid person. She needs to prove an excuse for existing by composing even if deep down, it will never truly be satisfied.

She has been unchecked in terms of her belief that this is her fault and her only purpose is to compose. I hope someday we get something that can change the core of that belief.

[ghost-bud]

^^adding onto this

reading the niigo wl2, kanade is so strikingly happy in comparison to our kanade. We have seen how she acts as a child and in middle school; however, seeing her have that joy and playfulness in later adolescence puts into perspective how much she has lost

so, i thought it would be interesting to portray the possibilities that would coming with tackling her savior complex. using motifs commonly associated with childhood—swirly clouds and aquatics—i wanted to represent how she should let herself experience happiness <- instead of having it stripped away by her attempt at excusing her existence through overworking.

not only has she been pushing everything aside and acting very independently, but also emotionally she acts in a withdrawn, mature manner in comparison mizuki, ena, etc… even if it won’t be a short and easy journey, she needs to let herself know it’s okay. she doesn’t need to be carrying all this guilt over something she never could’ve predicted. she needs to let herself be a teenager.

you don’t have to carry this burden

[ghost-bud]

you don’t have to carry this burden

[ghost-bud]

Do I Not Disgust You?

It is okay if my existence is so vile?

.

.

.

The portrayal of gender dysphoria is typically limited to a surface level, physical sense, so I wanted to explore a possible social/emotional aspect to it through Mizuki

Mizuki sees their inherent (transgender) existence as a curse through what can be implied through Bake No Hana through lyrics such as “My punishment for having been born” or “it’s cute but it tastes like sin.”

The song itself just reeks of disgust and self-hatred; in combination with Mizuki’s comment about what others would think of Ena and Mizuki just existing together, I couldn’t help but ponder the thoughts possibly fueled by dysphoria/society’s views on their identity that Mizuki would have racing through their mind.

It is a common experience for trans people feel as if they are disgusting, vile, even “sinful” just for existing and while piecing together lyrics and dialogue with Mizuki, I don’t believe she is excluded from this feeling.

[ghost-bud]

Kana5 Fanart - “Why can’t I move my body?”

wanted to explore what the scene after kanade’s collapse would look like :3

translations:

(first couple of lines): “Huh…why can’t I…move my …body?”

(bottom line): “Kanade, you are okay?”

[ghost-bud]

Yoisaki Kanade

“If I just close my eyes and stay here...”

text translation: “I just want to disappear” “I wonder if I can just disappear if I stop eating”

[ghost-bud]

Rooftop..

trying out animation again woo!! i thought portraying the loneliness of the rooftop through the only occurrences being wind in his hair would be something interesting to attempt

also (hopefully) a kanade animatic or animation of sorts may or may not be on the way (hint hint nudge nudge). i have NOT been able to get kana5 out of my head gahhh

[ghost-bud]

What actually happened during ena5

[ghost-bud]

Kanade Sketch

Quotes from the N25 main story that really stuck out to me

Spending time on aggie.io/magma.com is one of the best ways for me to push out artwork like this

Get ready for even more project sekai doodles too!! Don’t think i’ll stop here :3

[ghost-bud]

Mizu5 Fanart :3

tried to represent the gender dysphoria that mizuki most likely experiences

[ghost-bud]

Sleepy Kanade!!

if she can fall asleep on her desk, she can fall asleep on her gf

[ghost-bud]

rooftop.

translation — “I want to disappear”

romaji — “a, kietai na”

^^from Mizu5 monologue

[ghost-bud]

D:

[ghost-bud]

Cherry Blossom Ena

^^based off of Ena5 teaser

I wonder if this will be the resolution to the whole Mizuki’s secret arc. If so, that would connect the Mizu1 to the current Ena5 teaser—both having an emphasis on cherry blossoms.

[ghost-bud]

t4t mizumafu

my favorite aspect of t4t mizumafu, is that they cover villain. the topic being how *trans* people are viewed in society.

[ghost-bud]

Kanaena Comic !!!

(I’m obsessed with mizuki; I mustn’t forget them and their teasing)