ghostt-writerr - Tumblr blog

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Should i make more fanfics? if so i would probably make it on joan she's deffnity the most underrated

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Charlie in underworld really just bashed open a door and destroyed Eugene's perfect little family and self esteem

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Boss: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??

River: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

Eugene: Why were you microwaving a lemon???

River: I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots.

Joan: Did you burn an orange too? How???

River: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

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River: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.

Eugene, Charlie, & Boss: Okay.

River: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.

Eugene: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Charlie: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.

Boss: Bold of you to assume I can die.

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Eugene: Good. Thanks, dad.

Joan: You just called Boss “dad”. You just said “thanks, dad.”

Eugene: What? No, I didn’t. I said “thanks, man”.

Boss: Do you see me as a father figure, Eugene?

Eugene: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

River: Hey! Show your father some respect!

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Boss: I'm very disappointed in you, Eugene.

Sean: C'mon, don't get mad at Eugene!

Boss: Sean, stop telling Eugene it's okay for them to punch you! They need to learn not to punch people!

Sean: But I'm not a person!

Eugene: Which is why I punched them!

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Boss: I’m telling you, my team is competent.

Eugene, rushing in: Boss!! River tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!

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Eugene: Say no to drugs.

Charli e: Say yes to drugs.

River: It doesn't matter if you say yes or no to drugs. If you're talking to drugs.. then you're on drugs.

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Boss: How high are you?

Eugene: Mm, I don’t know how to say it in feet.

River: No, he's asking what drugs are you on.

Eugene: Oh, antidepressants, why?

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River with a gun to Charlie's head: What happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven?

Charlie: Bold of you to assume I'll go to Heaven.

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Boss: You know, River, you are the sun in my life.

River: Why? Cause I'm smoking hot?

Boss: Because it hurts my eyes looking at you.

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Eugene: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Charlie: Killed without hesitation.

Eugene: No.

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Luke: Is something burning?

Eugene: Just my love for you.

Luke: Eugene, the toaster is on fire.

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Eugene: So are we flirting right now?

Charlie: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU

Eugene: That doesn’t answer my question

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Boss: Go to Hell

Charlie, tearing up: I wish I could

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River: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.

Joan: Oh, you’ve been?

River: Once. In Monopoly.

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Pen Sketch of River :)