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Be Still My Soul

His world started to unravel with a fairly inconspicuous text from his sister.


Well, to say it ‘unraveled’ might be a bit dramatic but it did feel like something ended. Something died. His childhood innocence, maybe? That wasn’t even fair, to act like he was the victim here. He wasn’t. Learning about what had happened to his brother wasn’t even comparable to what actually happened to him.

Charlotte kept her brothers updated about anything that happened back home that she heard about. How she heard anything was beyond Teddy- when their mother was still alive it was possible that she was giving her the updates, but Charlotte no longer lived in Tréves and there was no clear way she was receiving news from it. Still, if something happened worth knowing about, she sent the update to the group chat of the siblings.

[Charlotte]

Father Tusspells died.

Teddy didn’t initially respond, seeing it as not really worth responding to. Father Tusspells was the priest of their congregation when he was a kid, but shortly after Sam was disowned, he left. Honestly, he hadn’t even realized he was still alive. Sam, however, did see it as worth a response.

[Sam]

good.

That prompted a response.

[Theo]

Harsh.

[Sam]

but fair.

[Theo]

What did he do to you??

Sam didn’t respond. However, within a few minutes, his sister called.

“Char?” He said as a greeting, but she didn’t seem particularly caught up in formalities.

“Drop it.”

“Excuse me?”

“The thing with Father Tusspells.” She said impatiently, as if he should have known immediately what she meant. “Drop it.”

“Why?” He asked, mostly out of curiosity at this point.

“I think I know what’s going on. I’m not sure, I could be wrong…” She said, and then her voice changed a little, as if she was far off. “God, I’ve never wanted to be wrong more than I want to be about this.”

“What is it?” He asked, starting to feel anxiety. If Charlotte was actually hoping she was wrong, that couldn’t be good news. “Tell me.”

“No.” She replied, shortly. “It’s none of your business. But drop it.”

“Tell me!” He repeated, this time more annoyed at always being left out of the conversation, but also feeling a sense of foreboding that he couldn’t explain.

“This is a Pandora’s box you don’t want to open. Drop it.” Charlotte warned again, ominously, and then the line went dead.

He tried to call back but it went to voicemail after a single ring. No doubt she was ignoring him. Charlotte was probably right about this being a can of worms better left closed, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of something being wrong. He wouldn’t be able to rest until he got to the bottom of it. But who could he ask? Charlotte was about as helpful as a brick wall. He didn’t want to confront Sam until he was sure he knew what he was doing. Even if he thought his mother might be willing to be helpful, she was gone from this world. He didn’t know what to do.

“Teddy! Dinner’s ready!” He was pulled from his reverie by the little blonde slip of a thing he was lucky enough to call his wife appearing in the doorway.

“I’ll be there in a second.” He called back but when he looked up and saw she was still standing there, her head tilted to the side, he realized what must have been his mistake. “…That was in French, wasn’t it?”

“Oui.” She said, and he forced a smile as he put his phone down and walked over to the kitchen, where she had set their food up at the counter.

“Is something wrong?” She asked, and he just sighed. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I better not.” He replied, frowning as he poked at the fish she had prepared without much enthusiasm. “It’s sort of sensitive Boleyn stuff.”

“I’m a Boleyn now, you know.” She reminded him patiently, and he shook his head.

“No, I know, I just… well, I don’t even have the full story. I need to get that sorted out first.”

“Maybe try explaining it in French?” She suggested. “I won’t understand it, but when you’re having a problem, explaining it out loud often helps you figure it out.”

So that’s what he did. While she ate her dinner and nodded thoughtfully when he paused as if she actually did understand, he explained everything. Charlotte’s text, and Sam’s response. How out of character it was for him to be so callous. Charlotte’s cryptic call and refusal to offer more information. The Pandora’s box comment, and how that frightened him but how he felt like he had already come too far to not see it through. Even in French, though, he couldn’t bring himself to make the most sincere confession- that part of him already knew. To do that would mean to admit it consciously, and that would make it real.

To Farrah’s credit, she was somewhat right. By the time he finished he didn’t have any new ideas, but he did feel a little better. And his wife didn’t try to offer meaningless platitudes or speak of things she knew nothing about. She just waited patiently until he was done and then got up to take their dishes to the sink, pausing to kiss his temple. He watched her for a moment before returning to his phone, hoping maybe there was a notification that would make all this make sense.

The only notification was from Instagram, informing him that Blaire.Monet had posted for the first time in awhile. Honestly, he really only followed her out of courtesy, since he didn’t really know her. She seemed nice enough, but she was Sam’s friend, not his. He went to flick the notification from his center but accidentally clicked on it, and before he could react, the app opened. He clicked the home button before he could truly process what he saw, but within seconds was scrambling to open the app back up and verify that he had indeed seen what he thought he had.

And there it was. A picture out a plane window looking down on the Statue of Liberty and a text caption briefly saying something about how excited she was to be back in New York for a few days. Yes! This was it! If anyone would know more about this, it would be Blaire. She was Sam’s best friend- plus she was Jewish, so it probably wouldn’t bother her to speak ill of a priest. He pulled up her page and hit message.

“Hi, Blaire.

I don’t know if you remember me, but I’m Teddy, Sam’s little brother? I saw you were in New York and was wondering if you had any time to meet up and maybe get coffee or something? I have something I want to ask you about.”

After he hit send, he hesitated for a second, before adding

“It’s about Sam.”

He didn’t have to wait long for a response.

“Teddy! Of course I remember you. I may not have directly interacted with you since you were a youngun, but last time I was in New York, Sam insisted I go see you in The Lightning Thief. He had practically bought me a ticket before I was even off the plane!

Speaking of Sam, of course I can make time if it’s for him. Is everything okay? Where and when would you like to meet?”

He ignored the first question, instead making plans for the next day, around 10:30 at a hipster place in Manhattan. He’d have to leave early to get there in time, considering how far on the outskirts of Brooklyn Farrah (and he, now that he had moved in) lived. But that was okay. Honestly, he didn’t think he’d sleep much, anyway.

The next morning his anxiety prompted him to be at the cafe early, and he had secured a table facing the door by 10:15. He ordered a coffee but found himself too nervous to touch it, and it just sat there, emitting steam. It felt like a tiny eternity but finally the door opened, and in walked Blaire, the backlighting streaming through her curls giving her an angelic glow. Within seconds he was on his feet, waving her over.

“Teddy! It’s good to see you.” She greeted him in their native French as she walked over. “You’ve gotten so big!”

“Not since last year!” He protested, and she shook her head.

“You were still pretending to be twelve. May I sit?”

She gestured to the seat across from him and he nodded eagerly, taking his own seat across from her. He was bursting with so many questions, but forced himself to sit still while a server approached and took Blaire’s order. Finally, she handed the menu back to them with a smile that turned deathly serious as she settled her eyes on her coffee date.

“Alright. What’s going on?”

Finally faced with the person who might actually be able to answer his questions, his mind went blank. The monologue he had planned all night was gone without a trace. All he could think of was to say what Charlotte had said that started this whole mess.

“Father Tusspells died.”

Blaire didn’t so much as blink.

“I don’t even know who that is.”

“He was the priest of our congregation growing up.”

“Not to be blunt, but what does that have to do with me or Sam?”

For the second time in less than 24 hours, he found himself laying out the situation in French. This time, however, his audience was able to follow along. As she understood what he was saying her expression turned more and more grim. By the time he was finished, she wouldn’t look out of place at a funeral. He looked at her expectantly, but she just poured a flask out of her purse and dumped a generous amount in her coffee cup.

“…Blaire?” He finally asked after she took a long swig of her witch’s brew without comment.

“If we’re going to talk about this, I can’t be sober.” She replied, which just prompted a frown from him. When she had downed about half of her concoction, she looked at him again.

“Okay. I don’t know for sure what this is about. I mean, I have a pretty good idea, but… Sam never told me anything. He wasn’t the type to suffer for an audience. He guards his pain like a priceless treasure.”

Teddy didn’t say anything. He had never seen the side of his brother that Blaire was describing- which, he supposed, was the point. She continued.

“But I’ll tell you what I know. If you really want to know. Charlotte is right. Once you open this can of worms, you’ll have to lie in it.” He was pretty sure she was mixing her metaphors but this didn’t seem like the time to correct her, and instead just nodded. “I think you’ll be able to put the same pieces together that I did.

Not too long after Sam was kicked out, there was this huge scandal. Your parents were probably glad that people had something to whisper about that wasn’t them. But it was about Father Tusspells. Does any of this ring a bell?”

Teddy thought hard.

“Only a little. That was the same time he left the congregation, and Father Lang came in, right?”

“Did anyone ever tell you why he left?”

“No. I mean, I guess there were whispers, but… I was young. I thought he just retired.”

“No. The Catholic Church did what the Catholic Church does best and just moved him around a bit. But the reason that they had to play musical chairs with their priests was because there were accusations made against him by an altar boy.”

Teddy felt like he was about to either start screaming or might just pass out.

“What… what kind of accusations?” His voice was barely a whisper, but Blaire shot him a severe look anyway.

“The kind of accusations altar boys make against Catholic priests, Theodore. You don’t need me to say it. That was also right before Sam…”

She trailed off, making a vague gesture with her hands that he didn’t know how to interpret.

“…Before Sam what?” He asked, and her severity turned to surprise.

“Before he- you mean, you don’t know?”

“Know what?” He asked, and she frowned. There was so much pity in her face, he could hardly stand it.

“Theo, when was the last time you looked at your brother? I mean… really looked at him? Not looked up at him, but looked at him directly?”

When he didn’t respond, she seemed to accept that she had made her point adequately and turned her attention to her purse, where she fished around for a five dollar bill before tossing it on the table.

“I should go. But next time you get a chance, take a good long look at your brother. Specifically his wrists.”

And then she was gone. The conversation couldn’t have lasted more than ten minutes, but it shook him to his core. The worst part was that it made sense. When Sam had became an altar boy, almost overnight he had gone from being his happy, fun loving brother to a sullen, moody kid. His parents said it was just a phase and he would grow out of it, but even when Teddy finally made it to New York, the brother he knew still hadn’t come back, but he tried to ignore it. When he slept on his couch, he tried to chalk up the whimpers he heard to the wind. All the signs that his brother was suffering were there, and he ignored them. He never even took a closer look at his wrist- probably because part of him knew what he would find and he wasn’t ready to deal with it.

He needed to see him. Before he lost his nerve. He didn’t know what he would do… tell him that he loved him? That it was okay? That he didn’t have to keep his pain locked away in a prison of silence? That if he had learned anything from fairytales, it was that naming a monster takes away at least some of its power? Maybe all of those. Maybe none of those. But he couldn’t put it off any longer. He used the find my iPhone feature to narrow down Sam’s location and was surprised when it told him his brother was in a Catholic Church in midtown. Still… this all began in a church, maybe it was fitting it would end in one.

When he arrived at the church, he didn’t know where to look. It was a Friday morning, so there weren’t any services going on, but the door was unlocked and he could hear an organ playing. Once inside, he took off his gloves and then nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a voice at his shoulder. He spun around to see a man of the cloth, who’s approach must have been muffled by the organ.

“Are you lost, my child?” He asked, and Theo almost laughed out loud. If only he knew.

“No, I’m sorry, I’m looking for my brother. His name is Sam?”

“Ah, Sam is in the chapel, playing our organ. Just go through the vestibule and it’s the main door. You can’t miss it.”

Teddy nodded and murmured some kind of thanks, moving in the direction the priest had indicated. He knew that Sam played the piano, but that he spent his free time on the organ was news to him. He was learning so much about the person he thought he knew better than anyone else today.

Teddy hadn’t gone to church since he moved out of his parents’ home and was no longer forced to every week, so his knowledge was a little rusty, but he recognized some Christmas hymn being played. He followed the sound to a set of double doors and sure enough, once he stepped through them, he found himself in the hallowed cavern of the chapel. Sam was sitting at the organ in the front of the room, seemingly unaware that anyone had joined him. Teddy took a deep breath and approached.

When he was finally just a few steps away, the musician seemed to notice he wasn’t alone and his hands hesitated over the keys as he looked over to see who it was. Once he saw the face of his little brother, he relaxed into a gentle smile. But, and maybe he was just imagining things, or maybe he was following Blaire’s advice and truly looking at his brother, but for a split second, before he recognized him, he seemed to be unbearably tense.

“Hey.” The older Boleyn said, the aura of sadness gone without a trace. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question.” Teddy replied, frowning at him. “I thought you didn’t worship anymore.”

“The only God that I believe is still alive is that of music, my dear brother.” Sam patted the top of the organ controls in front of him. “The priests here let me practice as long as I occasionally do weddings and the like for them.”

Teddy nodded, though it still didn’t make sense to him. If Blaire was right, he couldn’t imagine him ever wanting to step foot in a church again. Hell, he didn’t even want to be here now, and no one had touched him.

“Your turn.” Sam said, his smile still seeming so easy. Could this all really be true? “What brings you here?”

“I was looking for you.” Teddy confessed, which caused his brother’s eyebrows to furrow.

“And you had to come all this way? Did I miss a call from you or something?”

“No, no.” Teddy explained, though Sam still picked up his phone, glancing at it to see if he had any missed notifications. As he did, the hem of his sleeve rode up a little bit. From this distance it was hard to say for sure, but it sure seemed like there was a gash of skin down the center of his wrist that was paler than the rest of it. “I don’t… I don’t really know how to say this.”

“Hey…” Sam looked concerned and stood up, closing the physical distance between the brothers quickly and placed his hand on his shoulder. If only it was that easy to also cover the emotional distance. “You can always tell me anything. You know that, right?”

Teddy wanted to scream. He did know that, had always known that, but he thought it had gone both ways. How could he never have told him about- well, about any of this?

“Did you know Blaire’s in town?” Was what he finally settled on, and felt stupid as soon as he said it. Of course he knew, she was one of his best friends.

“Yeah, she came to Hadestown last night.” He answered, and Teddy just nodded. “Why do you ask?”

“I saw her before coming here.” Teddy said. He tried to choose his words carefully, but still stumbled over it. “We talked, um… we talked about you…”

Sam removed his hand from his shoulder as quickly as if he had been burned, bringing it to his chest protectively. That easy going, laid back aura around him was gone. Now he just seemed tense, his narrowing eyes cold and hard.

“Blaire,” he started, his voice just as inhospitable as his eyes. “Needs to learn to mind her own business.”

Teddy reached for him. He took a step back, and the little brother felt his heart break.

“Sam, please…” He pleaded. “Whatever happened, you can tell me.”

“Why?!” Sam accused, the hand up to his chest clenching into a fist. “So you can know how fucked up I am? How I ruin everything I touch? How it’s all my fault?!”

“Don’t say that…” He tried to interject, but Sam didn’t seem to hear him.

“So I can burn you, too?! Because I’m a fire, all I ever do is destroy!”

Teddy didn’t know what to say. He wanted to beg and to cry, to say that he would much rather be burned by whatever Sam was hiding than to drown in his own grief. He loved him; not the perfect facade he put up, but who he truly was, faults and fires included.

“Sam…” He tried, but his brother wasn’t having it.

“Maybe- maybe you should just stay away! Leave me alone! You are so pure, all I will do is sully you!” He gesticulated wildly, his eyes darting around like a cornered animal as he spoke. “I mean, if I ruined a priest, I’m sure I can ruin you, too!”

“Sam, what are you talking about?” Teddy asked, absolutely bewildered as he watched his brother have a mental breakdown in real time in front of his eyes.

“I mean, if I could corrupt a man of God into thinking such impure thoughts, who even knows what I could do to you?!”

Teddy continued to stare at his brother, who was clearly approaching hysteria more and more with every passing second. He knew what his brother was telling him, could understand each individual word, but he didn’t want to actually comprehend it. Victimizing his brother was one thing. Leading him to believe that it was his fault? That wasn’t just sexual assault, that was spiritual assault.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Was all he could say, and Sam looked surprised.

“What?” He asked, his voice so quiet that Teddy wasn’t sure if he actually heard him, or just imagined things.

“It wasn’t your fault.” He repeated, more forcefully this time, and Sam stumbled back as if he’d been physically attacked, but he only made it a few steps before he ran into the piano bench and quickly lost his balance, falling into a sitting position on the bench.

“But… but you don’t know…”

“I don’t care.” Teddy interrupted. As he spoke, he knelt down in front of his brother, taking his hands in his. “It doesn’t matter who hurt you. It doesn’t matter what they told you. You were just a kid. It wasn’t your responsibility to be the adult in that situation.”

He took Blaire’s advice and really looked at Sam. His eyes shone with a layer of tears he tried to hold back, and for the first time, Teddy saw how truly and completely miserable and broken his brother was. He turned over his hands, looking at his wrists, and sure enough, there were deep scars. Sam seemed to know what he was looking at and tried to pull his hands away, but Teddy tightened his grip, tilting his head down and pressing his forehead against the scars.

It was strange, that he would find himself in this position once again. In a church, on his knees, with his head down and his hands clasping something reverently. It made sense, though. He had long since stopped believing that there was some higher power that actually cared about them, but he did believe in his brother. This was the altar that he chose to worship at, and truly seeing his brother, seeing how broken and bruised he was… it didn’t change anything. It was still his brother, the bravest, strongest, and most loving man he knew.

“I love you, Samuel.” Teddy whispered. He had to squeeze his eyes shut, because the tears were threatening to spill for him as well.

“I love you, too.” Sam whispered back, his voice drowning in emotion, and slowly, he lowered his defenses and Teddy raised his eyes and for the first time in a long, long time, Teddy saw how fallible and broken and weak his savior was, but he still loved him more than anything.

[gideonloser]

Chapter eight: This is war, gotta raise the stakes

Ash wanted to leave as soon as they could. The pegasues, she argued, were a gift and just as a gift can be given at any time, they could also be taken at any time. Poseidon was the god of pegauses- more or less, he had actually invented horses and was the father of the first pegasus, but that was neither here nor there- and the presence of the pegasues was so unexpected, they had to make the most of it while they still could. Farrah, however, was of the opinion that they needed a break- with Ash's back in the state it was, there was no way she would be able to stay upright, and it would be a longer way to fall than just off a normal horse. Plus, it had been some time since their last proper rest, which was all the way back in the forest. When it became apparent that neither would be changing the other's mind, both pairs of eyes turned to Teddy. After all, he was the leader and there was a silent understanding between the two that however he sided with here won. He weighed both arguments in his mind, trying to find a balance between the two.

"Ash is right, if we wait, we could lose this chance," He started, and Ash shot a gloating smirk at Farrah- a premature gesture of victory, however, as Teddy continued. "But Farrah is right, too. Ash, you're in no state to fly right now. We have to take a break. While we do that, why don't you sacrifice the pelts from the monsters we've faced so far to Poseidon? Thank him for this boon and ask him to extend his blessing a bit longer."

Farrah smirked right back at Ash, who frowned a little, but didn't argue. After all, this was Teddy's quest. If he said they took a break, they took a break. No matter how misguided it was.

They were severely underprepared to make a fire, but since they had to so Ash could make her sacrifice, Teddy and Farrah got to work. Ash tried to help, but she was hardly of much help when she could barely stand and both of them insisted she sit and rest, so instead she nibbled on some ambrosia while she prepared some sandwiches on her lap. It didn't have to be a bonfire, just enough that they could make the sacrifice, and after some scrounging, the two were able to find enough things that might be flammable that when Farrah set it ablaze, it stayed lit. It wouldn't keep them warm, but the sun, while still low in the sky, would do a perfectly fine job of that, and Ash made a very nice appeal to Poseidon that must have worked, as the pegasusi still stood there even after the pelts had disappeared.

It was like all three collectively released a breath they didn't realize they were holding as they saw their company remain. Maybe they could get the rest they needed and still continue their quest. With that out of the way, Ash passed out the sandwiches and they sat around their meager fire, letting their guards down a bit. The peace only lasted momentarily, though, as when she had finished off half of her sandwich, the brunette turned her attention to her half brother.

"Theo, I think it's time that you told Farrah and I the truth."

He froze. He could feel her gaze boring into her, as his mind rushed through every single secret he had ever kept, trying to figure out what she was referring to. He had been about to take a bite of his sandwich but very slowly he lowered it before gathering enough courage to raise his eyes and meet her gaze.

"About what?" He asked, surprised at how calm it sounded- it wasn't exactly the most confident, but he didn't stutter or trip over his words.

"The prophecy." She replied as if it was simple and obvious, but under that light air he could sense a current of severity. She wasn't messing around.

"T-the prophecy?" And there was the stutter. He cleared his throat, trying to pass it off as a cough, but it didn't seem like either were convinced. Farrah turned to look at him.

"Ash is right. You haven't told us what your prophecy said. Don't you think we deserve to know?"

He didn't initially respond, instead staring into the smoldering embers of the fire. They were right, he knew they were right. But how he could tell them? Especially now? Farrah moved to say something else, but Ash held up a hand, shushing her. She seemed to be able to sense that, given enough time to get his thoughts in order, Teddy would share. That strategy paid off, and after a minute, he spoke. His voice was low, and shaking.

"'The three shall go west to the lake of salt,

At the height of the arts they make their assault,

The music is saved, return be the lyre'..."

He trailed off. Farrah didn't seem to realize, making a noise of joy.

"We succeed!" She said, but Ash wasn't swayed.

"And then what?" She asked, her voice gentle, but urgent.

"What do you mean "And then what"?" Farrah sounded almost annoyed. "We get the lyre! That's all that matters!"

"What's the last line of the prophecy?" Ash continued, ignoring Farrah's outburst. Teddy looked like he was about to burst into tears, but Ash held the course. "Theodore."

After a long silence, he spoke.

"'But it comes at a cost,'" His voice was low and shaking. "'A demidaughter must expire.'"

It seemed like the kind of moment where everything should go silent. Where the world should stop, for just a moment, like even it's gasping. It was not like that. Instead, Teddy became acutely aware of all the noise happening around him. One of the girls took a sharp intake of breath. A pegasues snorted and stomped its hooves down while another ruffled its wings. The fire crackled quietly, a last hurrah before it was snuffed out. Somewhere in the distance, cicadas chirped. It all felt so wrong. It was just too loud, yet none of the sound was any comfort to him. He started babbling before he could stop himself.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I know I should have told you. But I didn't know how, I mean, I basically signed the death warrant for one of you by bringing you along, and Ash, I can't lose another sibling, and Farrah, you're my only real friend, I know it wasn't fair to keep it from you, but I just-"

At that point he dissolved into sobs. Ashamed to be crying in front of them, he hid his face in his hands. No matter how hard he willed himself to stop, he couldn’t. Keeping this from them was unforgivable- one of them was going to die and he didn’t even give them the decency of knowing. There was no time to make amends, to tie up any loose ends. One of them would never see their family again and he kept it from them. They trusted him and he couldn't even be honest with them. Like lambs to the slaughter.

Neither of the girls said anything. At least, not until the sobs subsided. Even then, however, he couldn't muster the courage to meet their eyes and instead stared at the embers of the flame. The tears had not made him feel any better - if anything, he felt worse as he wiped at his nose with the back of his hand. Finally, Ash spoke.

"Teddy." To his surprise, her voice was tender. Not angry at all. It was also the first time she had ever called him by that nickname. Slowly he raised his eyes, seeing only compassion in hers. "You didn't keep anything from me."

It took him a second to process what she said, and when it did, his eyebrows furrowed.

"You mean... you knew?"

"You're not the only child of the god of prophecy here." Ash said, but before he could ask any further questions about that, she thankfully changed the subject- to quite possibly the only thing he wanted to talk about less than this. "Just now, you said you can't lose another sibling. What did you mean by that?"

He went quiet, fidgeting uncomfortably. This time, Farrah did reach out, setting her hand on his knee.

"It's okay," She soothed. "You can tell us. We've all lost someone. My older sister on my mortal side died in a car accident."

He took a deep breath, looking first at Farrah's hand and then her face. It would be so easy to just tell them... he had their attention and it was a burden he was tired of carrying by himself. Before he could stop himself, the story spilled out.

"My older brother, Sam. He was- he was my hero. I know that's weird to say now, since a hero is someone who goes on quests and stuff, but I just mean... I idolized him. He was everything I wanted to be when I grew up. He was cool, and smart, and he was so good at making music... I'm sure I was just an annoying brat to him, because I was always following him around and trying to get him to play games with me and stuff. But he was my hero. Then one day at dinner he told our parents he had something he had to tell them after dinner, and... that was that. I never really saw him again."

"What do you mean?" Farrah asked, and he looked back into the flames, shrugging.

"I guess whatever he told them was pretty bad, because they kicked him out. My mom just said he was gone, and not to mention him again. I was never given any kind of explanation. They took down every family photo that had him in it that night. I had an older brother, and then, very suddenly, I didn't."

"Theo... I'm so, so sorry..." He wasn't even sure which one of them said it, as he didn't stop for a response. He continued, his voice becoming more and more strangled with the struggle to conjure up his brother from his memories.

"And it's so stupid. When I was told about camp, I actually thought- of course! This makes sense! This is why Sam had to go! He was a demigod, and so he had to go to camp to be safe. But then I got there, and he wasn't there and..."

He trailed off. The silence was accompanied by a little wave of his hand, as if to say "That's it! Story is over! The moral is that sometimes things fall apart for no reason at all and you have to learn how to cope without any kind of closure because you never got to say goodbye!"

Neither girl responded. How could you? What was there to say in response to that? He had already lost one person he cared about, and now a prophecy foretold he'd lose another, a sword of Damocles written in the stars. After a moment, Ash exhaled, stepping into her leadership position as naturally as if stepping into a pair of worn, well loved shoes.

"Well, we should get some rest before we go again. Farrah, could you take the first watch?"

"Yeah, sure." Farrah agreed, finally tearing her gaze away from the boy as she stood up. "But can I talk to you about something for a second?"

"Of course." Ash said, but Farrah shook her head, shooting an covert gaze as Teddy. "Oh. You mean alone?"

"Yeah. Girl stuff."

Ash nodded knowingly and gave a little groan as she pushed herself to her feet. Teddy shot the two an isolatingly miserable gaze, unable to shake the feeling that whatever Farrah wanted to talk about, she just didn't want to talk about in front of him- though that fear was quickly assuaged by Ash's next statement.

"Did your tampon get stuck again?"

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Chapter Seven: The gods on high can roll on by

By the time all three of the teens had made sure they had everything and were ready to keep going, the train had rolled to a gentle stop in a railway yard. Ash hopped down first, immediately drawing her bow as she stood on guard. Teddy jumped down next. Normally he would never have turned his back to an unknown situation, but knowing Ash would defend him, he turned and offered his hand to Farrah to help her down.

"Do we know where we are?" She asked as she accepted his hand and jumped down. He tried to ignore the butterflies in his stomach and the urge to hold onto her hand for longer when she let go of his. He didn't answer, but she didn't expect him to- the poor boy wouldn't even be able to guess at the state. In fact, if one of his travelling companions had announced a made up state that they were supposedly in, he would be none the wiser. No, it would be up to Ash to answer that.

"I'm not sure." Was her response, when she offered one. After a slow turn analyzing anything on the horizon that could be construed as a threat, she lowered her bow- not enough that she wouldn't be able to draw it if something popped up, and looked over at her companions. "But let's walk into the town over there and see what we can find out."

Teddy wondered if they should be leaving a trail of bread crumbs, or something of the sort, from the train station. After all, unless they were going to "borrow" another car, it was the only feasible mode of transportation they had. But that thought either didn't occur to either of his companions- or they dismissed it quickly if it did- and by now he was used to deferring to their judgement. It may have been his quest, but both of them just seemed so much smarter and wiser than he was, especially when it came to all of this.

Not far from the railyard there was a gas station. Teddy was worried about entering while they were all armed, but he followed Ash in regardless, and the cashier barely looked up from their phone, and when they did, just muttered something that sounded an awful lot like 'Fucking LARPers.' The girls seemed to ignore them, so Teddy followed suit.

With the cashiers' disinterest, it didn't seem like a huge priority to act inconspicuous, but he grabbed a coke bottle and pretended to study the ingredients intently regardless. Next to him, Ash spoke.

"I think we're in Kansas."

"That's not the quote, dumbass."

When he looked up, the brunette was looking annoyed at the blonde and holding a magnet that said Kansas on it.

"Oh." Farrah said, corrected and sounding appropriately chastised.

"Where's Kansas in relation to where we're going?" Teddy asked, both because as the resident immigrant he had no idea, and to hopefully break the tension between the two girls.

"It's a little more than halfway." Ash answered. "We got here a lot faster than we should have."

"That's the Hermes Express for you." Farrah chimed in, evidently accepting the train as having been a paternal gift.

"Will the Hermes Express take us the whole way?" Teddy asked as he set down the coke bottle, the list of ingredients being meaningless to him.

"Probably not." Farrah's voice was as charismatically cheerful as always, even though she was imparting bad news. "He was probably already sending something this way and it was just convenient."

Ash nodded, and Teddy was relieved the two agreed on something, even if it was something that meant an obstacle for their journey. Obstacles can be surmounted, the two most strong willed women he knows fighting over something? Not nearly as easy to conquer.

"I'm hungry." Farrah announced, and Teddy hoped Ash wouldn't fight her on that because his stomach grumbled as he processed what she said. Luckily, she didn't and instead tilted her head slightly.

"We probably have enough money to get some snacks. Go ahead and pick some stuff out, I'll find the cash."

That determined, he and Farrah roamed the aisles, picking out what they hoped would be enough to get them to their whenever it would be that they would get to their next stopping spot. Teddy could handle the physical toll the quest was taking on him, but not knowing what was next or how they would succeed was starting to get to him. Even when the three of them sat on a curb a block or so down from the gas stop (they all agreed if they were any closer, the clerk was likely to call the police on them for loitering) and things seemed calm enough, Teddy couldn't help but feel like they were only in the eye of the storm and something much, much worse was coming.

Finally, as the last chip bag was crumpled up and the last soda can crushed, Teddy appealed to his friends for advice.

"Well... what now?"

"Now we have to find another way West." Ash said. There was a levity in her tone that didn't match his own dismal view. The train had been such a wild stroke of luck, and likely only just a gift from Hermes to his daughter. What was Apollo going to do for them? Let them borrow his sun chariot? And why couldn't Apollo just find his own damn lyre?! Still, if Ash, with the most experience and acting as the de facto leader (Teddy was technically the leader, but that was neither here nor there) was in good spirits, he supposed he should try to do the same. "Pick a direction and we'll start walking!"

He closed his eyes for a second, but didn't feel a particular pull, so he shook his head a little and opened his eyes.

"Farrah, can you consult your compass and tell me which way is West?" He asked, and the blonde gave a small sound of assent, flipping open her tarnished golden compass and pointing.

With no better ideas, Teddy started to walk in that direction. He kept his sword in it's sheath, but ready to grab the handle so he could pull it out in only a few seconds if necessary. Farrah walked beside him, her dagger in hand though she was twirling it against her pointer finger on her left hand and would likely need the same amount of time to get ready if it came to it. Only Ash was the one who could have rushed into battle at any moment, her bow at the ready as she brought up the rear, keeping a close eye on what was behind them so they wouldn't be blindsided into an ambush.

He didn't know what, if anything, he was looking for. Once again, it occurred to him that it was rather foolish to be walking into what appeared to be absolute nothingness. He had only seen a little bit of Kansas so far, but he was beginning to think that he had seen just about all there was to see. It was maybe the most boring landscape he had ever seen, no hills, no grass, only a few trees- just weeds as far as the eye could see. But what other choice did they have? Turn around and go back? No, they kept walking, because what else could they do? The darkness seemed eternal as they dragged their feet across the plains. He felt almost hopeless, like he was just leading his friends into a barren expanse where they would inevitably get lost and no one would ever find them.

Finally, as the sky was starting to lighten and the sun was threatening to peek out over the horizon, he saw something. Or rather, Farrah saw something.

"What is that?" She asked, and he stopped, looking first at her and then over at where she was pointing. Behind him he could hear a little bit of a scuffle as Ash walked into Farrah, not realizing she had stopped. As usual, he ignored them, and they seemed to sort it out fairly quickly. There were indeed shadows in the direction she had indicated, though at this distance and in this lighting, it was hard to tell what they were exactly. But out of lack of a better idea, Teddy began to guide the group in that direction. He hoped as they got closer whatever the shadows were would become more clear, but ultimately it wasn't distance that shed some light, but literally light- as the sun rose and they got closer, it became more clear.

"Are those... horses?!" Farrah blurted out the question, but before he could answer (his answer would have been that yes, they sure looked like horses), one of the shadows reared up on it's hind legs, and a shadowy mass spread out behind it. Wings.

"I think they're pegauses." Ash observed in response, which did seem to be the most logical explanation.

“Why are there pegauses?!” Farrah blurted out, but before either of her companions could answer (though it was also apparent that neither of them knew), there was another voice. This one low, threatening.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?”

Teddy couldn't initially tell where it was coming from, but evidently Ash could as she immediately turned to the left and hissed "You two, get behind me."

Teddy excepted Farrah to be as contrarian as ever, but to his surprise she grabbed his hand and pulled him in line behind her and Ash with her left hand, her right pulling her dagger at the ready.

"We don't want any trouble." Ash said in a warning tone, and Teddy peeked around the girls who were both his friends and, at this exact moment, his bodyguards. He couldn't make out exactly who it was, but could make out a human shape.

"Well, I don't really care what you want."

Even in the dim light, Teddy could see the two in front of him stiffen. So this was to be a fight, then. He drew his sword, just in time for the shadow to transform into something that was distinctively not human, some kind of beast instead. The whatever it was lunged forward, and Ash crouched down, covering her head with her hands. This caused it to land on her back and the dawn air was cut through with a scream of pain as claws ripped through her shirt into her back. Still, there was no time to worry about that before it turned on Farrah, now right in front of it. She stabbed forward with her knife, but it only slowed the momentum, rather than actually causing any injury.

There wasn't any time to think or to plan or even to worry about what they were fighting. Ash somersaulted forward which caused it to lose balance and threw it onto it's back. Farrah took advantage of this opportunity to turn to Teddy, giving him a quick moment of advice.

"Do not let it bite you." She stressed, and he nodded before dashing around her, hoping to quickly end this with a downward slicing from his sword. Unfortunately, it seemed not even to leave a scratch leaving him beyond perplexed.

"What is that?!" He half yelled, stumbling back as it rose.

"Werewolf!" Ash explained, it coming out half as a gasp and half as a scream as she stumbled to her feet. There were so many monsters that existed in the world, and while Teddy couldn't remember ever hearing about a werewolf- though the beast that howled in front of them certainly fit that description. It lunged at Farrah, who stepped back and parried the strike with her knife. It didn't help their offensive, but it did protect her.

"How do we kill it?!" Teddy hissed at his older sister, who shrugged, reaching behind her into her quiver for an arrow as she did.

"No idea!"

Her voice didn't have the normal charismatic tone that it usually had when faced with an insurmountable challenge. This time, she actually sounded scared. Teddy took that as permission to freak the fuck out. How could they possibly fight something they couldn't hurt?! His mind tried to recall anything on how you could actually fight a werewolf, but it came up blank as the creature turned to him, snarling. Ash aimed a few arrows at it's back as it approached Teddy, but all he could do was stumble backwards, sword at the ready. The arrows bounced off harmlessly, and it was all Teddy could do to stay on his feet as he used his sword almost as a shield.

"Try to get to a pegasus!" He yelled, more at Ash than Farrah, since Ash was the one who was wounded. She nodded and turned to run, but couldn't move quickly because of the deep claw marks down her back. Evidently, the werewolf noticed that too, and left Teddy alone, turning it's attention to Ash.

"Watch out!" Was all the warning he could give to her, and was just enough for her to turn around, so she was then face to face with the monster as it tackled her onto her back.

"Theo!" Farrah yelled, and he could barely tear his eyes away from where Ash was doing her best to deflect the worst with an arrow she was using like a spear over to her. She was maybe ten feet away, and had a hand at her throat. At first he was confused, but he could faintly hear the snapping of a chain as she pulled her hand away, a necklace that had been worn now in her hand. "Catch!"

There was a glint in the air before his hands went out to instinctively catch what was thrown his way, and he was confused to see a tarnished cross in his hands.

"It's not a vampire!" He yelled, accusatorily, and Farrah shook her head.

"It's silver!"

He didn't have time to question that, and in that moment all he could do was put his faith in her and run forward, towards the werewolf. With all his force he raised the small cross above his head and brought it down, cutting through the fur on the creature's back. It wouldn't have been enough to kill even the weakest man, but Farrah must have ben right about the silver as with one final snarl, the creature dissolved into golden glitter that dusted across Ash's face, mingling with the blood from her cuts. She was still for a second and he was terrified he was too late, but then she started coughing and sat up. Relief washed over him as Farrah rushed up, her breath catching as she saw the sight of the blood and glitter in front of them.

"Jesus..." She murmured softly, but not softly enough that she avoided Ash's ear. As she held up a hand to Teddy, who helped her to her unsteady feet, she shook her head.

"Died so we could weaponize his cross, apparently."

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