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[giftedpoison]

New type of narrator. Not unreliable narrator but narrator whose need for therapy is definitely influencing this story.

[giftedpoison]

Y'all.

So like I'm absolutely unhinged and can never like something a normal amount.

Like ever.

But I got a job stage managering for a Renaissance faire near me in the summer. And also they asked me to help with a weekend event where I will be stage managering for a bunch of bands.

Sick right?

And like I've never done anything like this before. (And therefore no idea if I'm gonna enjoy it but I'm convinced that stage managering is actually my divine calling of sorts- specially for musicians but not limited to there. Which is mostly because it feels like something clicked into place. Like it feels right this feels like something I should be pursuing.)

But because I'm an academic with a hatred for the confines of real schooling at heart, I started doing research about what a stage manager should know (not to prepare for the jobs which are expecting me to be completely green) and the thing about a stage manager is they should have an understanding of all aspects of things that go into live performances.

So a music stage manager will understand the needs of a vocalist or an instrumentalist or the tech people as equally as possible and so forth.

And a theatre stage manager should comprehend actors needs, lighting needs, director needs, etc etc.

And as someone who has been in music and theatre most of my younger years less so since high school (couldn't keep up with my peers major L) I'm not completely alien to the world. (In fact I always say my first two loves were the written word and the performing arts) (plus I once went the trajectory of trying to become fight director back in 2020 which led to lots of research of that field shocker.)

ANYWAY

Now I'm like actively absorbing all the books I can find that has anything to do with film, theatre, and music.

And am currently reading Drama High by Michael Sokolove and The Music Never Stops by Peter Shapiro.

And I have a running list of documentaries to watch about different histories of music (specifically ones I'm less familiar with like blues and hip hop and opera but not limited)

And I'm trying to get back into practicing martial arts on my own.

And I have shows I want to see and events I want to go to.

BUT THESE BOOKS IM READING MAN. They get it.

Reading Drama High is so wild because I'm learning about these kids who would otherwise be mostly unknown other than this book and I just feel so deeply connected to them.

Courtney Meyers has my whole heart from that book. Like this quote about her "Taking the job at Georgine's felt like a death sentence. But theater is not an escape. In some ways, it is the opposite of that- it brings her closer to the true self she thinks she might be, or could become."

Georgine's is a diner that her mother and grandmother works at so she felt destined to repeat that. And as someone who also came from a small town and felt like I had nothing going for me and that I was doomed to job hop retail jobs like my parents and never quite get by enough? It resonated with me. It also resonated with me about her feelings on theater. Like music, writing, and theatre sure was a form of escapism but it was also always a form of self expression a way to pull out pieces of myself from the written word and look at my own reflection.

Even growing up id always want to play angry or villainous characters (to this day I think about how my theatre teacher passed me over for Morgana in sleeping beauty to give it to my twin who hated it, in 5th grade) because I wanted a safe space to express all this anger I had at a world that refused to listen. But not only that the confusion I had. The world was so achingly confusing and social cues confused me and the written word helped me try to unravel this confusion.

And don't even get me started on music. When I am in a venue listening to a band suddenly nothing else matters. When I am surrounded by people actively pursuing music I have both feelings of inadequacies but also at home.

When I see a concert I don't want them to perform to me like it's their job- I want to see you having fun and enjoying it even if you've been doing it for 20 years (I really see Ice Nine Kills as a shining example of this, but they are one of thousands however they are my only core experience as they are like one of few bands I've seen multiple times. And even tho it's clearly a performance as we get (fake!)killings on stage it's also for the love of horror and for the love of song. It has to be or they wouldn't be rocking the horror world with their very own convention that could very well be the next Spookyworld. If you're curious what I mean here's my review of their last convention where I explain that very concept.)

Theatre and Music are two loves I have that feel equal parts untouchable while also constantly being all around me.

And I don't know where I was going with this but I guess consider this the ramblings of someone in love with the arts who fears the arts will never love her back but she keeps trying to find her place anyway.

[giftedpoison]

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

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another car opinion is that they shouldn't have touch screens

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somehow the poor cops who we were told are simply too understaffed and underpaid because of Woke to deal with 'rampant rising crime' have found the strength to beat the shit out of college students across the whole country for peacefully saying "divest from the country killing innocent palestinians in the tens of thousands"

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My biggest flex will always be how I knew Neil was the more feral and dangerous one than Andrew this whole time even before tsc and seeing the entire fandom freaked out makes me want to kiss and hug Nora and just thank her for finally finally showing everyone and I’m not just crazy

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my roommates thoughts on All for the Game

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head empty no thoughts only gorgeous palestinian thobes

the details!!! the colors!! and all hand-embroidered!

and the use of the patterns on jackets and blazers are just *chefs kiss* gorgeous, and the accessories,,, so small but made with so much love and care

anyways, support palestinian-owned fashion businesses <3

Deerah, Falastini Brand, Dar Noora, Anat, Balady Stitch, and more and more and more

+ a bit of a crash course on the historical value of thobes for whoever is interested, here

[giftedpoison]

Just checking.... We all pronounce Miette like My-TAY in our heads, right?

[giftedpoison]

Okay but this was my result and it is so genuinely cute and wholesome. I agree, everyone should at least once see a forest in autumn. <3

Would you like to find out what you would be the god of? Take my new uqiz to find out

[giftedpoison]

you. american adult with a drivers license. can you tell me who has the right of way at a 4 way stop

[giftedpoison]

P.S. please leave this in the tags, I'm curious how wrong y'all are.

[giftedpoison]

No cause 911 is such an interesting show.

Like most shows if you randomly get a lot of backstory on a character that character is getting axed.

So the first x character Begins episode nearly sends you into a spiral. Until it turns out that's just how 911 develops their characters.

[giftedpoison]

[giftedpoison]

I feel like there are a lot of people out there who needs to hear this:

If you dropped out of school because of diagnosed (or undiagnosed) ADHD, Autism, ADD, OCD, Dyslexia, Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar disorder, psychotic disorders, schizophrenia etc… You did not fail. The education system failed you.

[giftedpoison]

turns out all that pain might not have been for nothing

and

i just had to pick a path instead of walking between them for so long

[giftedpoison]

no cause this is really funny to me

I've been talking to this guy for a year and a half ish ( I met him on bumble and we flirt sometimes but like we've never met in person cause he was like really busy at one point between college, an internship, and a job. And he lives 40 mins away and we are both introverts. and we almost met up around halloween but alas we miscommunicated instead)

ANYWAY

He's an audio engineer. Specifically for musical performances, or at least that's what he's trying to do.

And when we met I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life or anything.

I am now going to be running audio/tech for a renn faire this summer. instead of dating him I just happened into doing a really similar job field except he went through 4 years of college for it and I am not utilizing college at all for it.