giggle-me-this

[giggle-me-this]

Best fuck that you're reluctant to admit to?

"I wouldn't say I'm 'reluctant' to admit this...I just wouldn't have admitted it out loud while I was still with my ex. Best fuck in recent memory was definitely Dylan—and if you're going to run off and gossip about it, please let her know that she can send me into subspace again any time she likes."

@vilcuks

[giggle-me-this]

Why are you like this?

"You mean, unbelievably clever and charming? A total delight to be around? Just as good with my hands as I am with my mouth? It does seem unfair, doesn't it?"

[giggle-me-this]

Jackie,

Merry Christmas! Nate and I visited today, and I'm leaving this little note for a nurse to read for when you're more awake.

The twins are doing well. Harriet is excellent with a hammer and nails, she's been flitting scout fixing everything! And Nate has been working a lot, taking overtime where he can get it. I really think you'd be proud of his initiative.

I hope the New Year brings you an abundance of healing and joy.

-Kitty xx

[The nurse who was changing out the flowers in "Janet's" room at St. Mungo's accidentally knocked the letter off the side table before it was opened and it got wedged between the bed and the wall]

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Would you ever sleep with any of your exes?

"Uh, yeah. 1000%. Doesn't that make it hotter?"

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Not a question, just thought you should know Tyler Envest still looks the social media of everyone he lost when he lost Loxley. Lol.

"Aw, that's cute. Hey, Ty! If you wanted my nudes that bad, all you had to do was ask."

[giggle-me-this]

Is watching porn cheating?

"That's a joke, right?"

"Is this like, one of those warning messages you get before they flag your IP address? Because we've got at least a dozen hedges using the Wi-Fi at any given time, and we used to have a technopath to handle all of that..."

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[A draft, addressed to Rita Skeeter, carbon copy sent to Nathaniel Pinnock by owl]

An anonymous source from the prestigious St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries has spoken truth what was rumoured for years: nestled among the genuinely ill, a former American socialite takes up a bed, paid by CEO if Giggle Water, Inc, Hamilton Pinnock.

Visitor records reveal the heiress has been seen by scorned playboy Nathaniel Pinnock, no less than four times in the last year alone.

[A sticky note is attached: Choke on this, dick.]

{iMessage}

[Nate:] Fine. We have enough dirt on each other for mutual assured destruction. Agreed?

[giggle-me-this]

[Unsent voicemail] I hope you know I love you a lot. Maybe Tyler fucked me up for having friendships with guys that don't involve love. What I mean is I love you and it's not just because you do drugs with me. I think we would've got on in school if it weren't for Tyler. But then again, our snarky bitchy relationship was fun too... don't tell anyone. Anyway bye *kissing sounds*

[Nate was in the middle of a Push tournament when Loxley called, and didn't answer; the next day, when Nate texted to ask why he'd called, Loxley claimed not to remember calling at all and said it 'must have been a butt dial']

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Hey Nate, it's Sol. God I don't even know why I'm calling you. I'm at some muggle bar in Soho because I'm too fucking afraid to show my face where people might know me. How f-*hiccup* fucked up is that? The tabloids are already picking up the story. I got asked if I wanted to pay hush money the fucking assholes. My life falls apart and they want me to pay. *a light sob could be heard* Why do I always end up alone Nate? Rhett and I weren't perfect but I thought I could be enough this time. I don't think I ever will be though. She said my feelings were too big. I'm always too much or too little. I can never get anything fucking right. You don't want me either. You have Xi and Loxley has Piper and Sonder has Jeremy. Rhett was right. I'm fucking stupid. Stupid for ever thinking I could be happy. Oh god I'm gonna pu- [Voicemail full, message deleted]

[Nate was in Oxford at the Saint Ball when Sol called; the Saint Manor has no cell reception, and the call went straight to voicemail]

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[Text] Your shit's in the back yard. Might want to go get it. It's getting hot out there.

[Nate:] WHAT THE FUCK you psychotic bitch, Rue just sent me a fucking video

(Two days later)

[Nate:] I bet your 'nightmares' were all a lie, too, right? Bet you just can't sleep at night knowing that the only thing you've ever fucking accomplished is ruining my fucking life

[Nate:] I seriously hope you choke as much on your own bullshit as you did on my dick 🖕

(Eight days later; sent at 3:28 am)

[Nate:] So...wyd? 👀

@xiomarawinters

[giggle-me-this]

What is wrong with you? It's been 2 years. Clear your fucking inbox out. Cadie took me to some fucking... Clinic, or rehab, or whatever. They think I'm an addict. Jesus, can you call and straighten this shit out? You owe me, you asshole. [Voicemail full, message deleted]

[On a bender with Loxley, Nate dropped his phone into the toilet while doing coke in the club bathroom, and was too strung out to do anything but leave it there; he got a new phone several days later]

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I don't even know why I'm calling, your Voicemail is always fucking full. Nate, I think I've found her. We can let him know today, and we'll be paid out by tomorrow, and it'll be like nothing happened. Just pick up your fucking phone, Pinnock. [Voicemail full, message deleted]

[Nate was in the middle of buying narcotics when Xi called and he declined the call, sending her straight to voicemail]

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Merde, answer your fucking phone. I busted my ass to get this phone and you're not even answering? I need you to answer your phone. Something's wrong. Your Dad's here, and some shit's going down and... I'm sure there's some way for you to know where he is, because if you know where he is, you can find me. I need you. I tried Isaac and he didn't answer. I don't know what you're doing, but... I need you. [Voicemail full, message deleted.]

[Nate was on holiday with Isaac in Bali at the time he would have gotten this, which is why neither he nor Isaac picked up]

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How's the single life going?

"That was truly one of the most pitiful propositions I've ever gotten—and that's a fucking accomplishment, because I've gotten a lot of them. But you know what? I don't even give a fuck. I'm off in an hour, and I've got the key to the storage closet..."

[giggle-me-this]

Do you have any scars?

(Told to a Slick Wands dancer, mid-lapdance) "What, this?" [Nate touches the line of raised skin on his inner left forearm pensively, then rolls his sleeve down to cover it] "It's nothing. Fucking dumb...my sister and I thought we'd seen enough of our family's business to know how to do a fucking blood contract when we were ten, so I cut myself open with a letter opener and signed my name in blood on a 'contract' she wrote up, swearing that we would 'kill all betrayers'—which, in Pinnock basically just means fuck everyone who tries to come between us..." [Nate gives a dark laugh] "...we figured our au pair would tell our parents, and they'd be pissed, so I didn't get it healed. Harriet still likes to remind me of that stupid fucking oath whenever she thinks I'll choose someone else over her. Which, obviously, I never would..."

[giggle-me-this]

Favorite holiday tradition?

"My father used to gift himself a bottle of his favorite 18-year-aged single malt and a box of cigars every Christmas and then hole up in his office and 'work' for the entire holiday, and I think I'm beginning to understand the appeal of that..."

[giggle-me-this]

Harriet and Nate both muttered almost identical, half-assed apologies for the figurative and literal remnants of the blowout that they’d dragged into Cat’s pristine living space, before complying with what their aunt asked and trudging toward the apartment’s one small bathroom.

They butted shoulders against each other and got stuck trying to walk through the door at the same time, and with a very unnecessarily loud and begrudging sigh, Nate conceded to Harriet showering first. She promptly shut the door in his face without saying a word, but instead gave him an extremely cryptic look that even with their freakish ability to communicate with near-telepathic levels of intuition, Nate couldn’t, in his drained and exhausted state, make any sense of.

He went instead into the room that Loxley and Dona had shared as kids and sat down on one of the beds. He’d only intended to sit and process what had just happened for a moment, but in the span of time that his foggy brain comprehended as a single blink, Harriet was already entering the bedroom wrapped in a bath towel and hissing, “What are you even doing?” And Nate realized he’d just been sitting here, staring into space for God-knows how long. 

Nate rubbed at his eyes and gave a groan. Fuck, he was so fucking tired. And likely he meant the question to be rhetorical, but Harriet had often served as the sounding board for Nate’s stupid and/or existential rhetorical queries over the years, so he looked at her and asked, “Did that all actually just fucking happen?”

A complex emotion crossed over Harriet’s face, before she repositioned it into her practiced blank stare again. “Do not start with that mopey shit, Nate—we’re better off without her,” Harriet insisted.

And just because Nate was legitimately too fucking tired to get defensive and argue that he wasn’t ‘moping’ over the woman who had basically ruined his entire life and literally just tried to blow him up—again—(definitely not because his chest was actually throbbing thinking about everything she’d said and everything she hadn’t said and the fucking finality of the way she’d told him ‘we’re done’—), Nate showed a rare moment of being able to hold his fucking tongue as he walked into Cat’s bathroom, and shut the door, and stood underneath the hot water until it ran cold. Which his aunt would scold him for, Nate was sure of it. Maybe he deserved it.

Maybe he deserved all of it.

Morning slipped into afternoon, and Nate and Harriet found themselves sitting at the small table in Catelyn’s kitchen, not talking, slurping at mugs of coffee and generally acting like zombies until finally Cat said, “Is one of you going to tell me what’s going on?”

The siblings exchanged a quick glance, and then rather than answering his aunt’s question directly, Nate instead asked, “Is Loxley planning to come home for the holidays?” He didn’t bother asking about Dona—he already knew the answer, and knew that nobody wanted to think or talk about that. “Or…is it gonna put you out, if we stay here?”

Tentatively, but reasonably, Harriet added, “It might be…a while.”

home for christmas

The dried oranges glistened in the mid-morning light when Catelyn picked them up to thread them on twine, filling her home with the warm, comforting scent of Christmas. She bunched herbs together to twist around the twine, and after an hour, she was left with a beautiful, cosy garland.

She stood, brushing her hands off on her sweats, then removed her wand. She hummed to herself as she raised it, her free hand sweeping through the air to raise the garland. Her wand shifted left to right to adjust its positioning, just as she felt the wards of her home being disrupted.

She cocked her head, considering the signatures for a moment. The twins. She smiled, extending the hand that wasn't holding her wand to flick towards the door so that it unlocked. "Come in!" She called, then returned to the garland, a dent in her forehead as she tried to apply a sticking charm while maintaining its positioning.

"Would one of you come in here and help me with this?" She asked, not having a chance to turn to face her niece and nephew. One of them did help, and then Cat let her hands drop, pocketing her wand as she headed into the living room.

Catelyn was taken aback. It wasn't abnormal for Nate to appear on her doorstep, dishevelled and generally unwell, but Harriet looked as though someone had put her through a tumble-dryer as well. She blinked, opening her mouth with a frown and then deciding to close it.

Nate went to say something, but she shook her head, raising a hand. "I need to know if you are safe. Do either of you need medical attention?" She looked between the two, and Harriet shook her head stiffly. "No? Okay. You both go clean up. There's towels under the sink. I'll get a pot of coffee going."

Before Nate could protest further- and he very much looked like he wanted to- Cat turned back to her kitchen to set about preparing the pot. She heared movement, and she leaned back to see a set of muddy (or... sooty?) footprints down her carpet. Catelyn scowled, pointing her wand down at the floor to vanish them away, before calling out, "And take those shoes off, Harriet Pinnock! Merlin knows your mother raised you better than that!"

@giggle-me-this