girlempoweringmuchsuccess

[girlempoweringmuchsuccess]

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[girlempoweringmuchsuccess]

Girl, Let that man love you!

Let that man love you As Destiny's Child sang, "All the women who independent throw your hands up at me!" So ladies, we are fierce individuals who ace multitasking and loving dearly. We're like superheroes with superhuman strength, but what happens when a superhero enters your life? Fear sets in or our independence feels challenged. We're such givers by nature that when a nice man comes along and wants to lighten the load, we run for the nearest exit. *exit here 🆘

The proceed with caution alarm goes off in our minds and before you know it, you've already replied, "Oh, I'll get it or you don't have to do that." after he offers to help. Before you know it, you're in this tug of war with the man and all he wants to do is express his care for you. After all, men are known for their roles of hunting, being providers, doing the heavy artillery of labor so why not allow him to tap into the more emotional side of this thing we call love? The reason it's so hard is because women are always in go mode. Lots of us have loved with all our might and the continual chain of heartbreak has become a norm we almost expect to happen. We learn to do so much for ourselves that it's hard to pass the torch. It doesn't rest well with your man even if he sorta gets why it's hard for you. All he knows is that he's not the past and ain't trying to be either. He sees your worth and just wants to make life a little easier for you but you're refusing to give him a little lead way. As Webbie spells, "I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T", I know you gals know what that means. 👀 The point is fight through that urge to not let your man show you his love through little acts of service (Go read Dr. Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages). I know you may not be used to feeling so confidently in sweet and much needed actions like it, but take an opportunity to enjoy and let yourself be happy. When a man is in love it almost seems to go harder than when women are. He will almost go overboard sometimes with wanting to do things that it may borderline get on your nerves. The truth is we all need a break from time to time. I know you're a giver by nature but allow yourself to experience it on the receiving end. It will be hard to practice for a while but just do it girl! Like Nike. I have a hard time letting people do things for me. Don't ask me why, but I'll feel guilty and feel like I'm a bother or burden knowing damn well that I'm worth the help or kind act. I raise my hand and admit it is something I still struggle to do and I must apologize to my boyfriend because that man tries so hard and I'm stubborn as a bull and I don't want to give in sometimes. I'm a Taurus after all (inserted excuse). I'm sorry honey, but I appreciate you working with me anyways. I gave a huge sigh and rolled my eyes at my bestie one day because I knew she was telling me right at a moment I didn't want to accept change out of fear, but she told me almost a year ago when he entered my life, "Girl let that man love you!" That is my advice to the women out there who are in this situation. Fellas this goes for you as well. Let her lighten your load a little. You deserve it as well. Love and be loved. Do it well. Do it better than before!

[girlempoweringmuchsuccess]

Be patient with yourself.

As my Bishop says often, "In all thy getting, get an understanding." Lack of understanding and comprehension are how a miscommunication occurs. The hardest thing to do is truly listen when we feel the rougher of emotions and just want to go in defense mode and retreat to a safe place created in the mind or are ready to clap back in .5 seconds. Sometimes we ignore signs and red flags when they're right in front of our face. Denial kicks in or there is a rush to feel a certain way or to be at a certain point in your life at a very moment in time. How many times have you set a deadline for yourself but have fallen short? You came so close but got discouraged or life gave you a big ole slap on the face that it's not your season just yet? How many times have you fought back tears knowing you gotta release the energy weighing you down or the pain that's binding you? How many times have you not reached a weight goal or a goal someone else created for you? How many times have you felt like you missed the mark on something? The point is we're all dealing with these things in some form or fashion. Everyone has their own time frame they follow. It's okay to fail because at least you tried but don't give up. You may have to reroute your GPS. Often times we have so much planned for ourselves but find it must not be similar to God's plan at all. That's okay. He will guide you and brings along many cool people and opportunities throughout your journey. I encourage you to know that you are doing fine and your best is yet to come. At least you're not where you used to be or who you used to be. Listen to your inner strength when it whispers in your ear and hugs your heart. Be patient with yourself in all that you are going through, including the good, bad and ugly. Patience is definitely a virtue and you gotta have it with yourself as well. How you ask? 1. Don't be so quick to judge and be so critical of YOU. 2. Write down goals and try to commit to something each week or month and move to the next. 3. Pace your thoughts and anxiety. Pray for clarity and peace. 4. Let yourself cry, cry and cry or laugh whenever you need. 5. Finally confront some underlying issues you've avoided and suppressed. 6. Have faith the size of a mustard seed and you'll move mountains. (This is such a healing action to do.) You are a beautiful GEM and what is for you, no man or woman can take away. I reiterate to be patient with yourself. Continue to strive for greatness and do you boo!

[girlempoweringmuchsuccess]

Have you dated yourself lately?

Countless times of putting others' needs before your own and not thinking twice about it as you complete your tasks last? Well, there's nothing wrong with that at all. That's how we should be, but- there's a big but, don't continue to inconvenience yourself any longer. What I mean is start to put yourself towards the top of the list over time until you finally lessen neglecting your own needs as much. It's good to help others and complete other tasks as well as your own, but if you keep ignoring that inner urge to think of YOU more, to rest when you truly need, to say no, to finally go to the doctor or read this book that's collecting dust on the shelf, to visit the nail salon or your grandma, to take a quick and inexpensive trip or a long one on vacation--shall I go on? I think you get the point. To be country for a second, if you don't sat down somewhere and give your body and mind time to catch up, your body will do so for you. Usually when it does, it ain't pretty. Trust me I know it's hard and you feel guilty to say no or not over extend yourself with too many events and tasks, especially difficult for ambitious, social and perfectionist people, but you have to so you can refuel on energy you need to stay in your greatness. So my loves I'll list a few suggestions to help you relax and recharge. 1. Stop fighting the urge to not rest and well, rest. 2. Tell the folks you talk to most in a mass message that your phone will be on do not disturb so they won't be worried and get some sleep girl. 3. Try eating healthy snacks when you're stressed instead of emotionally eating. 4. Scratch number 3 if you really need some sugar or coffee in your life. Lol 5. Cook your favorite meal or bake a new dessert. 6. Have a day or night outing with yourself. (Do dinner and a movie, buy a new outfit, get that hair slayed, flex your muscles boy and get a fresh hair cut or line up, buy some new J's, etc.) 7. Look at yourself in the mirror and say something positive or start writing positive adjectives about yourself on sticky notes and place them in places you may forget about so you can surprise yourself. 8. It may sound corny but buy yourself a card, flowers or a new video game. 9. Smoke a cigar or weed (lol... it's very relaxing, don't judge me cause I'm not a regular). 10. Listen to music in a bubble bath, especially soothing classical styles. 11. Jot down your thoughts/goals and make a plan of action. 12. Start going back to church regularly, especially bible class. 13. Have praise and worship moments with God and yourself. 14. Flaunt a flaw to produce confidence and boost self esteem. 15. Forgive someone you've held a grudge against. 16. Have a glass of wine. 17. Catch up on your favorite tv shows or vlogs with a nice smelling candle and your favorite snacks. 18. Pick up playing an instrument or another task on your to do or bucket list. 19. Stop being uber cause gas ain't cheap and you'll need an oil change way more often. 20. Have a twerk session alone when nobody's watching. 21. Take time to process your emotions. They will hit once you finally rest and be patient with yourself as you sort through them. What I've learned is that it is so vital to make time for yourself and get in a habit of it sooner than later. Don't over work yourself. Baby that job will be there and it won't hurt for you to take off from time to time. Your sanity is key and you're not a machine. Love yourself enough to listen to your radar (gut feeling, intuition) when it tells you to rest. Ask God for the strength to make you a tougher cookie than you already are. If you don't take care of you better how you gonna be strong enough to be there for others and dare to dream with no energy to support it all? Taking time out for yourself is a healthy foundation to a more fulfilling and healthy life. Folks will get mad but they will also get over it and may take note themselves. Guard your temple and guard it good!!

[girlempoweringmuchsuccess]

Subtle Reminders

Seeing the bright fiery red orange perfect circle of a sun seated in ocean blue and white fluffy waves of clouds during sunrise this morning while driving sparked a moment of revelation for how blessed I was to see a new day and to be able to take in all the little but sweet blessings God extends opportunity for us to enjoy. It also made me realize that in our fast and busy lives of today we are in such a busy body mode that these little moments of awe are often overlooked. So as you go through the day and the rest of your days, remember to take time during your zone of going through the motions and routines to take a breather and enjoy God's wonderful works. Of course the list is never ending but take it slow and commit to some the following sweet gems and subtle reminders: Your child's smile, your dimples, your health, your tenacity, freedom, butterflies flying peacefully and freely, stars twinkling, someone's laugh, the colors of a sunset, crickets chirping, beautiful music, your bae's hug, waking up next to your spouse plus hearing his or her heartbeat, exercise, washing your car, getting your hair done, nails painted, teaching, carpentry, taking off your bra after a long day's work, cruising in the car with windows down, catching a breeze, saying a prayer, time with your family or church family, alone time with yourself, a night out with girls, thoughts of your sweetheart and his or her perfect teeth and smile, funny moments of nature, time to laugh with yourself or at yourself, pulling a prank on an annoyed loved one, paying it forward to someone who helped you or in need, taking a vacation with family, soaking up the sun, the smell of charcoal on the grill, the smell of rain or saltwater, the peace of your home and a sweet smelling candle, quoting the line of your favorite movie scene, playing cards with family, the moment a throwback Thursday song takes you back to a moment in time, picking up a card or favorite candy for a loved one, etc. The point is to ALWAYS try your best to make time to take a breather, be grateful, humble, helpful and enjoy life in your own special. Do the best you can and strive for more, especially when you feel things are stagnant.