gleamgrl

[gleamgrl]

hi :( i’m in this really stressful place rn i go to school out of state and my friend stayed home and she’s become severely depressed and she’s in therapy but she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore because (in her words) i’m keeping her from committing suicide and doesn’t feel like she deserves me and thinks it’s too hard to be my friend waiting from visit to visit and today she won’t respond to my texts and she told me she’s done but i love her and i’ve fought with her about it... [1]

[2] a million times and told her i care about her and i don’t want that i want to be there for her even if she just goes on depression rants every day and i am coming back for spring break next weekend and i want to spend time with her and i’m really worried i don’t want the only person i’ve like ever cared about to stop being friends with me because she thinks she’s a burden and i’ve told her that and she can’t see it my way... i’m pressed i don’t know what to do and it hurts me

i’m so sorry :’( honestly i think the best thing u can do is just let her know that u will always be here for her, and then give her some space to focus on healing herself. after a certain point, u can’t convince someone to continue being ur friend when they have convinced themselves that they don’t deserve u. be sure to check in on her often to make sure she’s ok but don’t force the friendship for now. sending u guys my best!!

[gleamgrl]

i think i’m a sociopath. i just don’t care about other people in the way other people care about eachother, and it makes me really sad that i haven’t ever had that and probably won’t bc there’s not a cure or anything. i told my best friend about how i feel and she’s seriously sad that she cares more about me than i do about her. i feel like i made a mistake saying anything she’s already going through it rn. i just feel very lost this is a very hard ask to reply to lol i know that

i think seeking out professional help is definitely something that might help! writing/talking out ur emotions and trying to dig deeper into urself to see if u can trace this back to a certain moment so that u can understand urself better may also be useful. take care of ur mental health always, recognizing this is just the first step!! 

[gleamgrl]

been really working on having a positive mindset recently.... wondering if you'd share a few things you personally appreciate most about yourself, e.g. physically, personality wise, etc.?

yes super important! some things i appreciate about myself is that i’m a hard working person and i’m pretty introspective. i’m also thankful for the body i’ve been given and that i have the ability to do things that seem super small but are so important, like working out and walking around my house. i think that there are so many tiny things to be grateful for that there’s no room to worry bout the things that we can’t change abt ourselves! 

[gleamgrl]

hey gleamgrl ! so my best friend’s other friend read her private tumblr and she found out about it. she’s really upset i’m just trying to be there for her. however i already bought this gift with the other friend (it was expensive so we split it) i also got something for myself that i need soon and it’s shipping to her house... we’re only friends through her rly and i can’t pick it up myself... what’s the move? i can’t rly afford to buy it off her... and idk how to get it :////

i think if she’s a reasonable person there’s no reason why she wouldn’t let u pick up the stuff that u bought for urself at least + i think ur best friend will understand the situation if u need to get in contact with her other friend. try to message her friend abt it and i’m sure u can work smth out! maybe suggest that she leave it in her mailbox or on her doorstep for u to pick up so that u don’t need to interact too much when u go to pick it up. as for the gift that u two split, if she doesn’t want to give it to ur best friend anymore, i think it’s fair to ask her to pay u back for the amount that u paid for since u can’t buy it off her and let her keep it for now, maybe when things cool off u guys can discuss what to do w it again!

[gleamgrl]

we met in mid november, we go on dates, we have sex, and he stays over. he wants to take things slow even though it feels like we haven’t. should I just go with the flow with this? i really like him and havent liked/been with anyone since trauma I went through when I was 15/16, i feel like I just need reassurance I’m not wasting my time!

it's important to listen to urself in this situation. if u need more reassurance from him that's definitely a conversation to have w him asap (discuss ur expectations for this relationship! fling, long term, etc.) but also keep in mind that honestly u will never know anything for sure until u both give it a fair shot. meaning even if he promises u everything now doesn't mean that things won't change in the future, and even if he doesn't promise anything serious now doesn't mean u guys won't make it in the future. anything can happen and reassurance only goes so far, so pay attention to his actions as well as his words and actively communicate thru ur problems! it's also super important to know where ur both coming from so make sure u understand each other's sides so that u can make a fair compromise regarding the pace at which ur relationship is progressing

[gleamgrl]

so my crush who i’ve just absolutely fallen for is a rlly closed book and i try to talk to him but it’s hard! we don’t see each other that much :( and he just posted smth on ig that looks like he has a girlfriend but i’m rlly not sure... i’m kind of depressed over it he just. feels rlly detached from me but we’re a lot alike irl he’s like rlly shy he’s friendly but idk how to get to know him better even just as friends

hi! given that quarantine is still going on rn i do find it hard to reach out to ppl who i haven't gotten to know well irl before all of this happened. but social media makes it rly easy to talk to ppl bc all u have to do is type out a message and send it! rly all u need is the courage to do it and honestly what's there to lose at this point? smth easy to do is to start out by asking how they have been with everything going on recently and slowly shift the topic to a common interest/hobby that the two of you share or just an interesting topic of discussion regarding recent events. or u can even just dm them on social media if u see that they've posted smth that resonates w u and that u wanna have a conversation abt! super super simple stuff that's easier said than done but when u think abt it ur prolly not gonna see them for the next few months anyways (in case smth embarrassing does happen). plus it's always nice to check in with ppl so now is a great time to give it a shot! however if this mans is not giving u anything in the conversation aka is being bland i don't think he's worth ur time and u can use these few months apart to heal and move on to better things! good luck :-)

[gleamgrl]

hey hi so i’m really unapproachable and tbh i like it like that i know that if you like me you don’t just like me bc u can walk all over me BUT i’m going to school out of state and i don’t rlly have friends here to hang out with... it makes me sorta sad it’s not like a huge issue for me but idk... wish i had a girlfriend who’d go to parties w me an stuff and talk ab boys w/ u know. i’m in a club but they’re more like teammates than homies :/ idk just venting

aw hi i feel that !! it’s super hard for me to open up completely to new ppl as well but u just have to start w small things. maybe after a club meeting ask if anyone wants 2 get a meal or wants to go study somewhere together? and that’s honestly the first step to getting to know other ppl, just take initiative even if it’s uncomfy at first, but i promise it pays off. let ppl know ur interested in getting to know them and don’t be afraid to start w shallow conversations like what music do u listen to and what r ur hobbies and such bc that’s how u ultimately bond w ppl!

[gleamgrl]

Hello gleamgrl (:! I’ve been in a sticky situation and I’m trying incredibly hard to dismiss anything that can trigger emotion. I’ll try to keep it short and simple but bare with me. So at a party that I threw during summer, I received my first kiss & it happened to be from my friend from high school who initiated it. We talked through it & his answer was bs! we eventually started a no strings attached situation. He was my first everything& I am falling for him.I am conflicted,what should I do?

if ur developing feelings for him and ur 100% sure he is never going to in the future, i think u should probably discontinue this or else ur only gonna end up getting hurt! but i think u guys should have a heart to heart abt it first so he understands where ur coming from and so u can gauge how hes feeling abt everything

[gleamgrl]

so i’ve been seeing this guy for about a month. it’s obvious we both like each other but we haven’t really talked about what we’re doing. we are going back to college next week and idk if i should be the one to bring something up. me being the girl, i’m scared to take initiative in asking about what we are. what do i do?? i really like him and have never been treated this well lol but idk where he stands with us.

ur never gonna find out until u ask! i say go for it, chances are he’s on the same page but is worried about where u stand on the situation. if he treats u well then he’s a keeper!

[gleamgrl]

Ah this boy and I keep being coincidentally brought back to each other. We met thru work but now I am at school. We keep like running into each other which is random bc I am not home that often. We have both expressed interest in each other and we get along so well but every time we get to talking- trying to see if it actually works something goes wrong and we just stop. I feel like it’s right person wrong time. Idk what to do! He is coming to the same school next year tho

no such thing as right person wrong time. if they’re the right person, u will find a way to make things work. overcoming obstacles together will only make ur relationship stronger! i think u should go for it, then u won’t be stuck thinking abt what could’ve been. + same school = perfect environment for a new relationship :-)

[gleamgrl]

on my second day of my second week of college, my boyfriend came up to my dorm room. he came on to me. i got him off. we got to talking, and he broke up with me. he was snuggled up close to me when he did it; our shoulders were touching. i was still in my underwear. he said he needed someone that would push him to improve himself. i showed that boy everything. we had a lot of plans. we always said we would be best friends forever. i wrote a poem and performed it at an open mic. help

that boy ain’t shit if he plays w ur emotions like that without even giving it a second thought! healing takes time but i promise the heart break will feel more distant every day. get out ur emotions w poetry and such, it’s a great outlet! and once ur ready maybe u guys can have a conversation to get some closure if ur still feeling unsettled

[gleamgrl]

This is my first year at college and now I am just so stressed all the time. I have never been anxious in my entire life till now and it SUCKS.

the first year is definitely a hard transition but i promise ur doing better than u think! u will learn to manage ur stress and work and how to still have fun in between everything. but definitely look into therapy (student mental health resources or professional therapy) if ur struggling a lot! asking for help is always the way to go when u feel like u can’t handle it urself. also take some easy classes and don’t spread urself too thin w extracurriculars 

[gleamgrl]

okay i have the TINIEST jaw like smallest mouth ever i’m 4’11 so its proportional but i. am hooking up with this guy with a monster dick like actually almost as wide as my wrist is and it makes giving him a bj nearly impossible!!! the first time i tried to give him head i couldnt get past the tip and weve gotten further now after a few times but it always ends w him finishing himself off bc i just cant keep my jaw open that wide for long enough idk what to do!!!!

i’m sure he understands!! + u guys can def find a way to work around it! maybe use ur hand to help cover more area in the process hahah and pls don’t strain ur jaw too much (don’t pleasure a man at the cost of injuring urself!)

[gleamgrl]

Hello I’m not asking for advice but here to vent (I’m sorry this is so random and stupid but I don’t know where to say it): I had to randomly update my phone and I just lost around a year worth of texts from so many important ppl in my life. I am so upset, I used to read them whenever I felt sad and alone and now I don’t even have that to cope :( Again sorry this is very awkward

this isn’t awkward at all! i’m so sorry that happened :-( is there not a way to recover any of the texts? if not, i’m sure u can reach out to some of those people again and they will be just as helpful and loving to u as they were in their previous texts

[gleamgrl]

I would do absolutely anything to go to NYU for med school. Absolutely anything. I want it so bad. I have like four years till I even apply but there is already so much pressure to maintain perfect grades.

honestly college is all abt ur mindset. power thru and don’t lose sight of ur goals!! focus on what’s important to u and find what u love and grow. and most importantly, take things one step at a time. i know it can get really overwhelming just thinking about all of the things u have to do in order to achieve some level of success but if u take things one day at a time it all becomes manageable. + u rly don’t need perfect grades !! all that matters is that u do ur best and if u get in then that’s awesome!! if not then things will work out some other way and u will find a way to be happy with it :-)

[gleamgrl]

Random but switzerland is MY DREAM i want to go so bad

GO ! life is short man go after what u want

[gleamgrl]

there is a super cute and nice boy in my bio class who i like a lot. my friends think i should tell him how i feel, or even see what he’s doing for prom. i’m wondering if it’s a bad idea to say anything because we both graduate in may and then college is soon. or if it would look desperate/weird for a girl to be asking a guy about prom. part of me wants to see if anything would happen if i said how i feel, and part of me is scared to lose a friendship in the last couple months of high school.

definitely not desperate for a girl to ask a guy abt prom especially if u guys are friends ! i say u should ask him if he would be down to go to prom together n gauge his interest in u from that. and if he seems into getting to know u better u should tell him how u feel! enjoy ur last few months of high school, don’t dwell too much on what’s gonna happen in the future bc u will deal w that when the time comes. plus there’s also long distance if u find that both of u guys are rly dedicated to ur relationship! but there is def not harm in telling him how u feel + if he’s mature enough there’s no reason that he won’t still be friendly towards u if u tell him how u feel. if he acts like an ass or super cold after u tell him then like ... tell him boy bye!!! u don’t need any immature boys in ur life