glenmatthewsthejanitor - Tumblr blog

[glenmatthewsthejanitor]

Don’t tell anyone but I pirate A LOT of movies. And I also pretend I’m a pirate. Don’t judge me, I’m a 37 year old janitor. I’m allowed to have fun.

[glenmatthewsthejanitor]

I’m offended that they think I’m disposable enough to be used for one season.

[glenmatthewsthejanitor]

I’m really glad I didn’t see Joanna’s penis. I never knew he had one.

J.D. : Look uuuuh....Janitor, I'm gonna be straight with ya, I saw your penis and I noticed a possible melanoma that you should really have checked out.

Janitor(aka Glen Matthews): When did you see my penis?

J.D. : Last night, when you were showering.

Janitor: Where were you?

J.D. : I was outside in the bushes.

Janitor: ...

J.D. : Look it was just a coincidence, man, I mean if you would've looked out the window you would've seen my penis, y'know.

Janitor: What?! Why?

J.D. : Because I had it out while I was looking at yours.

[glenmatthewsthejanitor]

I relate to that. I’m not drunk on alcohol, I’m drunk on life!

Junpei is a mood

[glenmatthewsthejanitor]

Troy’s a good buddy, but he’s not the brightest.

“Janitor: Okay, two coins add up to 30 cents, no nickels. I could swear we’ve done this before. C'mon man, you went toHarvard for god’s sake. Troy: Relax! I figured it out. Janitor: A penny, and… a button, that you wrote ‘29 cents’ on. Think I don’t recognize your handwriting? Troy: Can’t we just kill him? Janitor: No. No, Troy, that’s what he wants us to do.”

— Glen Matthews and Troy - 05x22 My Déjà vu, My Déjà vu

[glenmatthewsthejanitor]

Hahahaha mop

“Janitor: Knock knock. Who’s there? Nurse Mophead. Nurse Mophead who? You have a mophead.”

— Glen Matthews - 05x19 His Story III

[glenmatthewsthejanitor]

People are so gullible. Do you think I would be drinking actual cleaning liquid on the job? (however it does seem really likely) I’m not that stupid. Remember, just because I’m a janitor doesn’t mean I’m an idiot.

[glenmatthewsthejanitor]

I’ve always found the name of Lake Titicaca to be rather...deceptive

[glenmatthewsthejanitor]

I’ve never been interested in The Todd’s antics. I’ve never been and I never will be.

[glenmatthewsthejanitor]

thanks for over 200 followers

i haven’t been active in over a year but it’s still really cool!

[glenmatthewsthejanitor]

Anyways, that’s my opinion. 

[glenmatthewsthejanitor]

Practical AND safe!

[glenmatthewsthejanitor]

I was being reasonable here. They were shooting GOLF BALLS off the roof!

[glenmatthewsthejanitor]

JD is so predictable. I mean haven’t you seen him?

[glenmatthewsthejanitor]

I still don’t think JD knows my name.... But that doesn’t really matter.

[glenmatthewsthejanitor]

I regret this moment quite a bit. I was too drunk to pull any pranks on JD. Not my finest moment.

[glenmatthewsthejanitor]

Ah yes, the beauty of facial hair.