gnminhyung-blog

[gnminhyung-blog]

Photographed by Chikashi Suzuki

[gnminhyung-blog]

gnjiho‌:

starring @gnminhyung !

common knowledge dictates that when you’re kind of sort of maybe interested in adopting a dog, you do your research online first, and, when you haven’t scared yourself away after reading too-many sad adoption stories where the poor dogs get returned to the shelter and have finished doubting yourself and second-guessing your adequacy as a pet owner, you proceed to check out the god damn pet shelter and not the place where the guy you kind of sort of maybe had a bigass crush on in grade school works grooming dogs that are entirely not up for adoption.

jiho exhales a deep breath and thinks, very loudly, that he is the world’s biggest dumbass and no good deed or act of repentance will ever change that.

just admit it, his conscience says, you’re just making excuses to see him.

he kind of feels indignant because first off, he definitely isn’t making excuses to see minhyung. who in their right mind would make excuses to meet up with someone that caused them middle school angst? jiho doesn’t particularly think he’s the type of person who’d seek out the guy singlehandedly responsible for jumpstarting his weird american emo music phase (my chemical romance got him through a lot, even if he doesn’t know what any of their songs mean). and secondly, so yeah, maybe he is making excuses to see minhyung (what the fuck, wait, he didn’t mean to concede that), but also, maybe minhyung does know more about dogs than jiho ever will. that, in itself, should be enough reason for jiho to seek him out. the shelter’s sort of far anyway, while the pet shop really isn’t, and all in all, at the very end of the day, he’ll get the answers he needs and the punch to the heart that he wholeheartedly expects and deserves for doing this to himself. 

nice.

maybe someday he’ll learn to stop setting himself up for failure. middle school jiho would kick adult jiho’s ass for even considering having one (1) feeling for im minhyung in this economy.

the entry bell to the pet store jingles loudly, obtrusively, and jiho almost flinches. he carries his head as proudly as he can on his walk toward the groomer’s section and skids to a stop ten feet from where he sees minhyung’s back wondering if, after all, this isn’t the greatest idea on the planet. 

“when are you off?” jiho asks, in spite of his mind telling him, all too insistently, to TURN THE FUCK AROUND AND GET OUT OF HERE YOU LITERAL IDIOT. “and also, can you tell me about… uh… dogs?”

nice. 

he’s good at this. my chemical romance would be so proud. 

ah, the joy of animals.

when people failed to instill trust and care for minhyung, animals have always been there. he can always count on a small puppy or kitten to cheer him up, love him no matter what he might be going through. he knows that animals have to have a sense of what’s going on around them, what people think and feel -- they just have to. how else could he explain kittens rubbing their heads on his leg when he’s feeling down, puppies licking his face when he wants to hide away from the world?

one of these days, he should get his own pet -- if it were up to him, he would have a treasure trove of animals at his house. dogs, cats, guinea pigs, you name it -- and perhaps the city commissioners and his friends won’t be too keen on finding out his place would probably be a small zoo, but does he care? no -- he just has to find the right opportunity, the right animals for him to cherish and love ( not that the others he doesn’t choose don’t deserve love and affection -- because they absolutely do ).

what minhyung loves the most about animals is that they can bring people together. sure, it might not be everyone’s cup of tea, not everyone’s viewpoint, but to minhyung, animals can be the bridge that connect people together. two bonds for the price of one -- which is a-okay in his book.

so when he hears jiho’s voice from behind him as he’s taking care of a particularly big dog ( thankfully, it’s calm enough to groom in peace ), when he hears about the other wanting to know more about dogs, he immediately smiles. he shifts his position around the dog so that he can face his longtime friend -- a small, sincere grin on his face.

“i was just about to clock out -- do you need me for something?” his smile is gentle, warm -- and once he’s finished with the dog and it’s on its merry way with the owner, he walks up to jiho, rubbing his hands. “my favorite topic -- what do you want to know? are you trying to adopt one?”

DOG DAYS ARE OVER

[gnminhyung-blog]

gntheo‌:

* s. ☾﹤@gnminhyung​﹥

the shutter of a camera cuts the silence, feet shuffling and hands twisting spans of fabric against the floor. “ you need to tilt your head a bit more to the left. ” theo states into the open air, an aura of relaxed and memorized elegance in the way he directs attention. he wonders over to his desk, finger tracing down the notebook paper. “ let’s see, let’s begin with something simple. le garçon means … ? ” there’s a small grin on theo’s lips as he moves away from the surface and refocuses the lens. “ you get this one right and i promise to take you out to lunch. ” he approaches minhyung carefully and examines the positioning of the backdrop, body leaning forward a tad carefully too close ( not that theo even knew what he was actually doing, rather just living in the moment. ) fingertips reach out to brush the other’s, carefully parting them to make them appear a bit more soft and delicate then the way they’d been splayed against the fake stone he had sat the other on. “ relax a bit, you’re tense. the smallest bit of tension can show on camera. ”   

minhyung’s not sure how he’s been roped into something like this -- but he supposes, for the preservation of art. theo’s always been like this -- a man of many visuals, a man that inspires himself with his own artistic abilities. and minhyung appreciates that -- he’ll gladly be his muse for the sake of preserving any type of vision theo has going on in his head. he tilts his head slowly and carefully to the left, as he’s told. “like this?” he inquires softly, his shoulders feeling somewhat tense and heavy. he’s never done any type of modeling before, but theo makes him feel comfortable enough to step out of his comfort zone. he’s also getting french lessons out of their little encounters -- which is cool. minhyung’s always wanted to learn another new language. “le garçon... is that... boy?” he questions once more, licking his lips -- free food is always great. “really? you have to keep your promise, though.” minhyung feels theo’s presence before him, his fingers brushing up against his own -- a soft carnation grazes over his cheeks, and he does as he’s told, relaxes his body to the best of his ability. “oh, sorry -- like this?”

❛ ᶜᵒᵐᵐᵉᶰçᵒᶰˢ ; mn.

[gnminhyung-blog]

〈 ✧ 〉  ━━  ˗ˏˋ  IF ONLY.  ˎˊ˗

@gnjiho​ ━━━ backtracked.

gaenari -- leave it to their lovely little town to be the fitting backdrop for broken dreams and half-realized hopes.

minhyung doesn’t know how to feel about his hometown anymore. he still loves it here -- the peace and tranquility that accompanies their small country setting can do wonders on his now recovering heart and mind, after all the trauma he’s felt back in the big bustling metropolis of seoul. the first few days back were particularly hard -- dealing with residual embarrassment from his failure, given his too-long delayed debut. he feels nothing in his heart other than sadness at this point.

but perhaps it isn’t all too bad -- he still possesses so many great memories from seoul. midnight convenience store runs, practicing and perfecting what he loves best ( music -- the art of singing, dancing, rap ). it wasn’t all bad -- it just turned out to be bad. which, he supposes, is better than everything being horrible.

he’d also caught up with a few old friends who somehow found themselves in the big city -- jiho comes to mind. he smiles -- although brief, minhyung had seen him back in seoul, for whatever reason. it was always nice to see familiar faces in huge, scary, new places -- no matter where he was at mentally. it felt like a breath of fresh air. he was a breath of fresh air.

and that’s what minhyung desperately needs at this moment -- a chance to breathe again.

his thoughts seem have been listened to by some higher power, because he runs across jiho once more -- they’re both in gaenari once more, reliving their true old days. he hopes he’s there to stay -- he would be awfully lonely if he didn’t. “...jiho?” he says, tilting his head, leaving his grocery cart a few shelves back as he bounds up to the other. “do you live here again? the last time i saw you... we were both in seoul. how are you -- you look good.”

[gnminhyung-blog]

💔- A memory that leaves them feeling lonely

–– memories ___ 💔༄ a memory that leaves them feeling lonely

loneliness. emptiness. vacancy. it consumes minhyung’s heart, his mind – even in a crowd full of people, in a room wall to wall with souls, he feels lonely. to minhyung, loneliness is just another factor of life – a more prominent one in his, unfortunately. it sucks that he thinks like this – that he’ll think he’ll always be alone despite having friends that love him, despite having parents that care for him even now, even as he’s reached full-fledged adulthood.

he doesn’t like to think about the concept of loneliness – ignorance is bliss, after all, and he would much rather exist in blissful ignorance rather than being reminded he’ll ultimately be lonely in this lifetime. “i guess… when i moved back here. i couldn’t… i-i couldn’t even go back to my parents, it was so embarrassing. even though… even though i knew they wouldn’t turn me away, i just… i-i don’t know. i don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

[gnminhyung-blog]

❣

–– memories ___ ❣ ༄ a memory that leaves them laughing

laughter – sweet, sweet laughter. minhyung cherishes it whenever he can laugh – whenever things can make him laugh nowadays. through all his optimism, his mental hardships take a toll on his psyche, but laughter and humor is always the medicine he needs and craves whenever he’s having the worst of days. “have you ever seen a cat falling into water then try to get out? they look so cute and hilarious – like… they look so funny.” he laughs just thinking about it. “i’ve seen that happen once in my life – it was my neighbor’s cat back when i still lived in seoul, i was looking after it and it fell into the sink when i was washing the dishes. i couldn’t stop laughing.”

[gnminhyung-blog]

💓

–– memories ___ 💓༄ a memory about their friends

“you all really want to know a lot of things about my friends, huh?” minhyung laughs – he doesn’t blame them, they’re much more interesting than he’ll ever be, anyway. “this one time, sori, sunggeun, and i snuck in food into the practice room back when we were trainees. we weren’t supposed to do that – i was trying to tell them we weren’t supposed to do that, but we did it anyway. we didn’t get caught somehow, but we ate to the point that we couldn’t really dance anymore that day. the trainer got really mad at us, and later that night when we got home, we just talked about how it was ridiculous for him to get mad at us for eating.” he smiles, shaking his head at the memory – they were so young and stupid back then.

[gnminhyung-blog]

💓

–– memories ___ 💓༄ a memory about their friends

friends – friends that he hold near and dear to his heart. friends that he knows he can count on in the end. friends that’ll have his back even when the world freezes over twice, combusts three times. it brings a smile to his face, thinking about the good old times – times he used to share. gaenari’s been a place bustling with memories, good and bad, and while the bad memories are the ones he’s haunted by the most, it’s the good he tries to focus on in his daily life. for his sake – for everyone’s sake. “well, there was this one time i was walking someone’s dog for them, and suddenly it started to run without warning – needless to say, i had to buy one of my friend’s lunch because the dog i was dog-sitting ate their lunch. i won’t say who, though – i don’t want to get it out there that their day was ruined by a dog. out of context, that sounds really bad.”

[gnminhyung-blog]

💛

–– memories ___ 💛༄ a memory that makes them feel angry

“angry?” the word rolls off minhyung’s tongue like it’s so foreign – he doesn’t actually experience anger as an emotion. when he’s upset, it usually just goes towards more sadness than anger. maybe it’s because he’s complicit with everything, he would much rather bawl and waste his tears than fight and yell and scream. it’s the way he was raised – his parents always told him that anger wasn’t necessary in most cases, that he really had no reason to be angry at things when if they were just, if he could see things from a multitude of perspectives.

so he doesn’t really have an answer to the question at hand. he shrugs – bows his head. “sorry… i don’t really… get angry.””

[gnminhyung-blog]

gnsora‌:

even after all this time, his hugs still catch her off guard. it always takes her a moment to hug back, but she does. there are very few people in this world she’s comfortable enough to hold, and he was one of them. she wasn’t a touchy person, or a huggy person, but for him she could make an exception. she supposed it was nice to be held, too, to know someone cared for her enough to show that kind of affection, and publicly no less. 

she’s back to smiling warmly as he mentions his caring after the animals he helps. she had no idea how she had ended up with a friend like him. he was so caring and giving, he was a soft and kind soul that made the world a better place. his nature made her own protective habits kick in a lot, so in a sense he made her a better person that way. “there’s more you do best than just taking care of animals. such as turning a boring day into a great one.” 

ah, he’s too cute. she can’t help but laugh softly as she looks away to gather herself from that coy little compliment. who does this guy think he is, huh? “i’ve had better days. this sun is about to melt me.” or his cheesy lines would, who knew. it was a race to the finish line on that front. 

she holds her hand out towards him, offering it for him to take, gesturing with her head towards a shaded area where a group of trees stood. “this way, it should be a little more bearable until the sun goes down. we can’t melt away so soon after seeing each other.”

minhyung knows that sora isn’t much of a hugger. it doesn’t really matter to him, though. she knows that he’s more touchy, that he enjoys expressing his affection and love through physical touch with those he feels the most comfortable with. it’s just who he is -- and he’s thankful that sora doesn’t push him away, doesn’t try to escape his embrace. it’s why they’ve been friends for so long -- because she deals with him, and he loves her unconditionally because of it.

he laughs -- bright and full for once, once again. minhyung doesn’t know how people can’t come to love sora -- she’s smart, talented, headstrong. she’s everything anyone would want in a friend, but he knows that certain fronts don’t sit well with people. no matter -- people can talk all they want, whisper about their shortcomings all they want, but minhyung will always have her back. and he smiles knowing she’ll have his, too. “is that right? stop trying to flatter me so much, i’ll get embarrassed.”

the sound of her laugh is so delightful to his ears -- reminds him of simpler, better times. times when this town didn’t feel so suffocating, but made instead made him feel so free. he wishes that he could go back in time. “you’re not one to give up just because of a little sun, though.”

he glances at her hand for a moment, then takes it in his. just like old times, he thinks -- this is nice. he walks with her to the shaded area, sighing happily. “we can’t have that -- maybe in a few years, but not right now.” he laughs again. he doesn’t remember the last time he’s laughed this much.

complete compass.

[gnminhyung-blog]

gnsunggeun‌:

@gnminhyung

when they were younger, sunggeun would have tried to make his way in. empty houses always had a spot to wiggle through, a cracked window in summer, or a door left unlocked. it would have been more comfortable than where he was, sitting crossed legged outside minhyung’s door, on his third of the six pack he’d bought and fiddling with the bag of chips and sweets, the usual treasure trove of food that they weren’t supposed to eat when they were training and sunggeun did anyway. his fingers digging through the packet of lollipops, sifting through them to fish out every strawberry flavoured on, stuffing them into his pocket and drinking with his left hand. more than once peeking past his lashes when someone walked by.

his mind was good at making up what they’d whisper when they got home, how he looked like a mess, sweating in a hoodie during summer; clammy fingers, drinking in public, eating junk food. sunggeun pressed his tongue against the inside of his teeth, biting onto the wrapper of one lollipop and tearing it open. the wrapper shoved into his other pocket. a mental calculation that he’d get rid of them later. 

out of habit, he rolled up his sleeves, thrusting the unopened cans back into the bag, as if that would stop him from drinking more. it’d look worse if he got through all of them. the lollipop fulfilling his oral fixation, sucking on it as he filled the bag and then got annoyed at the unevenness when it toppled over. that was when his eyes landed on the scars on his wrists, and he quickly tugged the sleeves back down, covering them up. people would notice, whisper, never ask – though he didn’t want them to. he didn’t want minhyung too more. his fingers dragging through his hair as he lost his nerve, the heat suffocating him. two fingers hooked on the handles of the bag, his can in the other and pins and needles in his feet.

one step taken before he realised who was there. minhyung. the lollipop plucked from his lips, the sweetness immediately washed away by uneasiness. an awkward laugh as he lowered his head, shifted his weight. “it’s hot. you gonna let me in, or what? i got your favourite.”

coming back to gaenari, it was as if a wave of strange energy washed over him -- it was like he could hear the whispers in the rustle of the trees in the breeze, as if the birds that chirped in the morning sunlight knew of the gossip their small, little town had. 

minhyung couldn’t imagine what people thought of him -- thought of his friends. what kind of things they said behind their backs. a smile here and a greeting there meant nothing to minhyung nowadays -- how could he trust anyone now that he was in pieces, a ghost of his former, starry-eyed self?

just another day in gaenari town, he supposes. there’s a strange sort of energy to his hometown that just... doesn’t sit well with him. as if something sinister’s happening in the background. as if he won’t be safe for long. maybe it’s because he’s always on edge, always looking around the corner just in case someone might be watching him. waiting for his next failure.

he can’t hide from the world, of course -- he has to get up, go to work, hang out with the only friends he has in this town. which, in retrospect, isn’t that many. he sighs -- in the heat of the summer, it makes it ten times harder for him to get up in the morning. he’s thankful that it’s the weekend. he won’t have to come into work today, and he can just stay at home all day until the sun sets and the moon rises, like he normally does -- unless someone explicitly asks for his presence elsewhere.

but he’s surprised to find sunggeun of all people, back in town -- right in front of him, on his doorstep. and his eyes widen, as if sunggeun’s this mirage in the high desert. but he isn’t -- and he reaches out to hug him. his scent feels familiar -- feels like home. “oh my god, sunggeun, what... w-what are you doing here? it’s so good to see you, oh my god --” his smile radiates as much heat as the sun in the sky, and he pulls back to look his friend in the eye. “how did you know where i was? have you talked to sora yet? does she know you’re here, oh my god!”

.// homecoming gifts

[gnminhyung-blog]

💖

–– memories ___ 💖༄ a memory that made them feel special

minhyung thinks – special in what way? another subjective question, another subjective answer he’ll have to think long and hard for. search each little crevice of his mind, because repression has made him forget almost everything – because he wanted to forget, because he didn’t want to remember. but he supposes he could dig deep this one time. it couldn’t hurt that much to try. “i guess the first time that my parents said if i believed in myself hard enough, i could do anything. that made me feel special.” and it did – it’s bittersweet thinking about it now, but it did make him feel like he could take on the world.

[gnminhyung-blog]

💓

–– memories ___ 💓༄ a memory about their friends

if there’s anything that minhyung has left in this world, it’s his friends. they’re much stronger than he is, much more adapt to the harsh world that has pushed them out so forcefully. he thinks about sora, he thinks about sunggeun – he thinks back to their trip to seoul, that defining moment in their friendship that made minhyung think that no matter what happens, at least he’ll have them. at least they’re there for him. even when nothing else seems to go his way. “that trip to seoul i took with my friends when we were scouted. that was one of the best moments of my life. i still can remember it so vividly… like it was just yesterday.” it hurts just like it was yesterday – even after seven years.

eight years.

minhyung stopped keeping track.

[gnminhyung-blog]

💙

–– memories ___ 💙༄ a memory that makes them cry

this question leaves a bittersweet taste in his mouth on how easy it is to answer, how fast his answer comes to mind. it still feels like a fresh wound upon his porcelain skin – and while every day seems like it gets better, he can only hope that he agrees with himself. that he believes it gets better.

“being told i couldn’t debut anymore. i’m… it makes more sad that sora or sunggeun didn’t get to. they deserved it more than i did, anyways.”

[gnminhyung-blog]

💝

––  memories ___ 💝༄ a memory that makes them feel loved

the question sits in his mind, marinates for a while. love – love is such a subjective feeling. it’s different from person to person. in other words, this question asks him when has he felt his own kind of love, the love that he so defines. familial, romantic – love is love, in his mind. there’s really no use separating the two when it’s all really just intimacy.

minhyung smiles. “my whole childhood was filled with love. i’m blessed to have parents that haven’t judged me and have supported all these years, throughout… everything.” his smile morphs into something more longing, sad even – as if he’s reminiscing about good times. as if they didn’t exist now. “whenever i’m with my parents, i feel loved – that’s my answer.”

[gnminhyung-blog]

♥ MEME 01: MEMORIES!

“send me one of the hearts below for a specific kind of memory from my muse!”

answers can be as short or as long as you’d like; this meme is worth 1 point for each answer, and the sender can also collect 1 point when their ask is posted! please tag your posts as meme:01 for easy reference!

remember to send if you want to receive! play nice, everyone!

reposted so we can keep better track of who is participating; credits to @rp-meme-glaceon!

❤️- A happy memory that makes them smile

💙- A sad memory that makes them cry

💛- A memory that makes them feel angry

💚- A memory that makes them feel guilty

💜- A memory about one of their loved ones, happy or sad

💔- A memory that leaves them feeling lonely

❣- A memory that leaves them laughing

💕- A memory about their significant other

💞- A memory about their children

💓- A memory about their friends

💗- A memory about a good deed they did

💖- A memory that made them feel special

💝- A memory that made them feel loved

💘- A memory that gets their heart pounding

💟- Wildcard!!!

[gnminhyung-blog]

jaewon being adorable for his fans ♥