goamu-blog

[goamu-blog]

This is just an opinion.

I’m sorry, but I can’t support a protagonist like Shen Yuan if he can’t respect the body of the person he’s taken over. The transmigration trope in many of these novels often leads to the erasure of the original soul, which makes me feel sad for them. While I understand why many fans like his character, I can’t root for him anymore. There’s a sort of horror in knowing that he and the rest of the readers pushed for such a bleak ending for Shen Jiu. An omnipotent being forces him to be a scum villain, and the person who condemned him has now taken over his body, his name, and married his abuser, his torturer. Imagine how horrified he’d be to learn he’s married to his own disciple—it’s disgusting. Someone who is just like all the men in his life takes away his autonomy and the name he earned; Shen Qingqiu is literally ripped away from him.

I remember someone mentioning that Shen Jiu follows the formula of MXTX's shou protagonists, and they’re right. The only difference is that he’s not allowed to gain a second chance. When Wei Wuxian tried to save the Wens, it cost him everything, similar to how Shen Jiu’s attempt to save his martial brother set off a domino effect of tragedy.

There’s a difference between Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan. Unlike Shen Yuan, whose path is clear and predictable, Shen Jiu’s very rare but kind actions often lead to dire consequences. Each time he tries to do something good, the world retaliates harshly. That’s why I like Shen Jiu more. I don’t mind a character’s misdeeds if they reveal something profound about them. Shen Jiu’s attempts to do good, even when they backfire, show his sincerity. Shen Yuan’s choices, on the other hand, seem easy and don’t require much moral struggle.

What saddens me is that a rich, lazy millennial is thrust into the body of a traumatized orphan and somehow gets the happy ending. Even if he didn’t ask for it, there’s a moral duty to respect the original character he's inhabited now because without Shen Jiu’s body, Shen Yuan would have no purpose is that even a lie because what goals or aspirations did he even have? We truly have nilch to go off what he's like without he's online persona but frankly he's a bad person to me if he harasses an author and makes no effort to even get himself to express his emotions especially his apathy like the fuck bro what going on here bro?? How do you just not give a shit about anything besides your beloved LBG like he's cuckoo up in the head like a few bolts and screws were lost in the making of his birth.

It actually made me mad, to be honest. I wish the author had never created Shen Jiu as a character because it spoiled my enjoyment of the book that I took as fun entertainment. SVSSS was the first transmigration story I read that gave the original soul such an important role. Other stories often use these bodies as self-insert devices, but knowing Shen Jiu is an actual character made me see him differently.

I also find it unsettling that Shen Yuan has to live as another person for the rest of his life. Sometimes, silence speaks louder than words. If the author isn’t going to do an identity reveal in an MXTX story, what does that say about Shen Yuan’s relationship with everyone else and the ML included? Wouldn’t everything fall apart? Doesn't that mean something is off lol???

This omission to me kinda undermines the foundation of his relationships, especially with the main love interest. Living a lie means that Shen Yuan’s connections are based on a false premise. If those around him, including the main love interest, don’t know who he truly is, their interactions and feelings might be based on their own misconceptions. In essence, the story hinges on Shen Jiu because his life and identity are the foundation upon which Shen Yuan builds his new existence and I find SY careless and disregard of that to be unappealing for a protagonist to follow .

I can see how the System's role in "SVSSS" can be interpreted as a form of horror, especially considering the implications for Shen Jiu. Here's an expanded take on your guys idea a theory of sorts:

The System's reasoning for booting Shen Jiu out and replacing him with Shen Yuan could be seen as a chillingly calculated move. Shen Jiu’s unwillingness to follow the predetermined outline and his resistance to the System's goals could have led to his removal. The System’s primary objective seems to be the satisfaction and happiness of Luo Binghe, the protagonist. Given the tragic nature of "PIDW" (Proud Immortal Demon Way), the System might have sought a more compliant individual to ensure a more favorable outcome for Luo Binghe.

If the protagonist, Luo Binghe, obsessively desires companionship and affection from Shen Qingqiu, and the original Shen Jiu isn't reciprocating, the System might decide to alter the course of the world. This new beginning involves replacing Shen Jiu with someone who not only understands the narrative but is also deeply invested in Luo Binghe's happiness—someone like Shen Yuan. As a form of punishment for Shen Jiu’s disobedience, the System forces him to take a backseat, helplessly watching as events unfold with Shen Yuan in control of his body.

This scenario adds a layer of horror, as it portrays the System as an omnipotent force capable of rewriting lives and fates to suit its goals. Shen Jiu’s autonomy is completely stripped away, and he’s forced to witness his own life being manipulated and his identity being overridden. By replacing Shen Jiu with Shen Yuan, the System ensures that Luo Binghe’s desires are met, but at the cost of Shen Jiu’s existence.

.

[goamu-blog]

May I ask for a HuaXuan praise kink fluffy, smut is fine to add ;3 , for the danmei fanfic Nightclub

I'm sorry I'm late. I hope this will be okay - I have had many ideas, but I hope you will enjoy this. (If it was not what you expected, feel free to hit me up with another request.)

***

“You’re so good to me… A’Xuan…” Hua Cheng voice drifted along his skin, like fingers catching in his collar and in his hair. “I know it was hard to control your hunger, but you did it…”

He Xuan wanted to sink. Sink into Hua Cheng’s words. Sink into his voice. Sink into the depths the praise would carry him to. Suspended in a limbo.

Red silk was cool under his skin, and Hua Cheng’s hand was in his hair, long fingers carding through the strands. He took a deep breath, and smelled the incense Hua Cheng always burned. “Please…”

“You’ve hunted so relentlessly… And every day you are in the capital, you keep the hunger at bay.”

“It hurts…” His voice was mangled, his brain was slowing down.

“I know, A’Xuan, and you’re doing so well.”

He Xuan bit his lips, sharp pain blooming red in his awareness like ink in clear water.

“Shall I keep speaking? Do you want more praise?”

He Xuan nodded, but Hua Cheng’s fingers tightened. “Ah no, use your words.”

“Please… yes.”

“Very good.” The touch was soothing again. “Would you let me feed you then? Take everything I give you?”

Anticipation crawled up He Xuan’s spine and settled in his jaw. He could almost taste the dull pain that always thrummed under Hua Cheng’s skin, a delicacy that he only shared with He Xuan. But Hua Cheng’s voice promised other things too… Pleasure. He had been gone for so long, stuck in the Heavenly Capital, and everything there felt cold and empty, tainted by the knowledge that everything he did was to exact revenge for himself and his loved ones. But here, in Hua Cheng’s bed, he was no longer Black Water, he was not the Earth Master. He was He Xuan. He was himself again.

And so, he gave himself up completely, letting Hua Cheng’s praise wash over him while his hands trailed fire on his skin and his mouth set him ablaze. His mind unravelled, his awareness torn between his voice and his touch.

You feel so good in my mouth, A’Xuan… So hot and pliant and entirely mine… You’re so beautiful like that, if only you could see yourself.

Hua Cheng’s skin almost felt warm against his own, like the last sunrays across the cresting waves, like the dying embers of a forest fire on the mountain’s charred stones. Soft lips and sharp teeth dragging sounds from his throat unused to making them – centuries of being someone else, of not being himself, of being apart from those whose love had once been his compass and anchor.

My dread king of storms… How I cannot get enough of you...

And still, those gentle words that soothed the cracks in his soul, not enough to undo the damage done by the abuse that ended his life, but enough to let him find solace for a while, a moth drawn to a flame shielded by glass. Warmth that could not burn.

Let go.

[goamu-blog]

wedding reds

[goamu-blog]

[goamu-blog]

[goamu-blog]

This used to be a part of a post, but I decided to make it into a separate one, because it speaks of crusual things for understanding SVSSS, it's plot and it's characters.

As I found out recently, there's a huge misunderstanding going on in the English-speaking segment, probably dew to an English translation of SVSSS (only a speculation, I myself never had this problem, although I read in several other languages as well, so I can compare) concerning the fact whether or not PIDW was originally planned by Airplane as a yaoi with bingqiu as an OTP. (Spoiler: yes, it was). Some readers are mislead by two quotes, that they take as a contradictory, which in truth, they are NOT.

The first one is from a Chapter "The story begins". It is the last chapter of the novel, after this the extras start. And this particular chapter is a culmination: this is where the truth is reveled. Like in a detective story, where we finally find out, who the killer is. This meant to become a real "bomb", that makes a reader go WOOOW!!! And this is THE KEY for understanding the whole story: the plot and the characters, especially Luo Bing-mei (and Luo Bing-ge). And it speaks about the original INTENTIONS of the Airplane, that he betrayed in order to please the crowd and that came true in the universe of the System. (original scrapped outline(c))

The second quote, from the extras, on the other hand speaks of an EXISTING PIDW, (original outline(c)), that he actually wrote, but never finished, because he died and woke up in the Universe of the System. And it gives us a glimpse into the way he planned to finish it.

The first quote, from the final chapter:

Shen Qingqiu looked him up and down. “You don’t look crushed at all after all this foolish messing around ended up completely changing your own novel.”

Shang Qinghua said, “You can’t say it like that ah. Maybe you think it’s just all foolish messing around that isn’t worth a damn, but for Bing-ge, your foolish messing around is probably the meaning of this entire world.”

... holy s***, Great God Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky was able to say something like that?!

Shen Qingqiu was terrified. “F***. You didn’t turn back into the original character, did you?”

Shang Qinghua said seriously, “Don’t be like that. I’m also a young person with literary ideals. Of course, I have my own reflections and emotions.”

Shen Qingqiu laughed coldly. “What literary ideals? How come all I saw in the original work was shameless fanservice?” Not to mention his hand speed that could produce ten thousand words a day, and the courage to even occasionally explode with twenty thousand. If he didn’t have such equipment, there was no way 《Proud Immortal Demon Way》 would have been able to hold out before it was serialized!

Shang Qinghua spread his hands. “You think that I always wrote shameless content that lacked any integrity from the very start? I’ve also written belles-lettres4 before, but they were all unpopular, so I had no choice but to go down a path that catered to the masses. It must be said that writing novels is a very lonely undertaking. Rather than writing a stallion male protagonist who’ll be stereotypical in the end, it’s more in line with my philosophy for writing to create the current Bing-ge━this kind of weirdo male protagonist whose character is a bit more complicated, has contradictions and conflicts, and has a rough destiny.”

Shen Qingqiu concluded, “So, your philosophy for writing is to write about gay guys?”

Shang Qinghua: “Do you look down upon gay male protagonists? Works of art and artists all like to create gay guys. Belles-lettres favors gays, do you know that?”

He waved his arms wildly and passionately. “Cucumber Bro, if the System hadn’t chosen you, this faithful die-hard reader, perhaps the plot wouldn’t have deviated so thoroughly, thoroughly to the point that it deviated all the way back to my original scrapped outline. Even though the me back in reality━who couldn’t endure the loneliness and was under financial pressure━chose to finish writing 《Proud Immortal Demon Way》 according to other people’s preferences and what they found cool... now, all thanks to you, essentially everything that I wanted to write has already unfolded in front of my eyes. Cucumber Bro!”

He patted Shen Qingqiu’s shoulders with deep sentiment and solemnity. “You... are the chosen one; as for my career, I have no more regrets!”

... why did it sound like the System and this world were both products of Shang Qinghua’s resentment over scrapping that outline and going with what was mainstream?

Shen Qingqiu, who shamefully became this kind of “chosen one”: “Who’s your faithful die-hard reader?”

Shang Qinghua waved his hand and one-sidedly declared his victory. “I’m not going to talk to you; you’re an anti-fan.”

Shen Qingqiu was about to say, “I’m only an anti, not a fan!” when he suddenly heard Shang Qinghua starting crooning something like, “Emotions are warm, kindness hard to bear, lips moving together, desires turning the evening to the next morning, never resting from dawn to dusk.” The crucial point was that melody, which sounded extremely familiar to the point that it made Shen Qingqiu’s hands and teeth itch. He pointed at him and said, “Shang Qinghua, what are you singing?”

Shang Qinghua continued to croon. “The warmth of emotions makes gratitude hard to bear. Lips to lips, locked in a kiss. Let this night linger ‘til tomorrow’s dawn. Day after day, night after night; never to end. Will tomorrow be another today? When ‘til Zheng Yang reaches its zenith? As Zheng Yang ascends, the voice of Autumn stirs. A sheathless Xiu Ya, a spurt of cold nectar. Tragic pleas amidst choked sobs, thus in vain; for he rises again5...”

Shen Qingqiu was in disbelief. “F*** you—why don’t you just try and sing another line?”

Shang Qinghua said, “Great Lord Shen, why aren’t you listening to what I’m saying? You must never go around casually f***ing people. Bing-ge will go crazy. I’m telling you, this Resentment of Chunshan is equivalent to Shi Ba Mo6. You two are the legendary national homos, do you understand? I have no problems with you shutting me up, but ultimately it’s useless. You can’t possibly make all the countless people in the world shut up...” (NB, Ch 81)

The second quote, from the extras:

【 Basic completion of Proud Immortal Demon Way’s original outline achieved (slight deviation in romance plotline); objective complete. Retrieving function to return to original world; download complete. Activate Return Home sequence? 】 Basic completion of the original outline? That he agreed with. All the holes that needed to be filled had been filled. But this “slight deviation of romance plot” wasn’t quite right. Bing-ge was now fully gay; how could you say that was a “slight deviation”? Ah, fine, fine, in fact, in his original outline, Bing-ge hadn’t even had a romance plotline; he had been doomed to fade away, alone and unaging forever. If you insisted on adding a romance plotline, all right, that was whatever, so putting aside all the System’s rambling…this meant he could return to his original world?! (Seven Seas, Ch. 26)

Basic completion of the original outline and filling it's plotholes - THIS is what's talked about in this quote! Not the scrapped original outline!

The English translation, which I only read recently, in my opinion is not very clear, in comparison to, for example, Russian translations, and not just the most popular version by Псой и Сысой, for ex: there are more than one, and they all pretty much nailed it. 感情线 used in original (that's what, apparently, caused the doubts for some reason, in spite that the quote itself absolutely clearly speaks of 《Proud Immortal Demon Way》’s original outline, the one big "error of a novel", that needed to be redressed, and not the scrapped original outline that never saw the daylight) itself refers to a "romantic plotline". So the author himself tells you, that his original Bing-ge had none. But how come? Why is that? Bing-ge, as we know, has got a huge harem, he for sure cannot be the case of dying alone without love!.. Or can he? Apparently, this is exactly his fate - no love. And the Airplane, the way he planned the original scrapped outline, knows better than anyone else - there's, well, none. The Protagonist's harem is nothing to do with romance whatsoever (see the quote below from the forum as an example, what the readers of PIDW themselves think of the relationship between Bing-ge and his harem). It all has to do with protagonists coolness and power and getting everything, including all the women, because he is super powerful and he is the center of that universe. It's about power, it's about lust, it's about influence and control, and showing, who the real boss is. But not love or romance. PIDW is not a romantic novel in a slightest: its a third rate pornography and a ode to toxic masculinity, so distasteful and disgusting, that the resentment of it's author with his own creation was powerful enough to create the whole new universe (The System) just to correct it! And this particular quote speaks of Bing-ge not having ANY SIGNIFICANT RELATIONSHIP, LOVE. Псой и Сысой for translating 感情线 in this particular case use much more explicit and profound "заслуживающие упоминания эмоциональные привязанности" ("the emotional connections worth mentioning"), rather than abstract "romantic plotline". Because the only significant person in his life pushed Bing-ge away. (And we know, who that person is, thanks to the System Universe - his shizhun.) Romance has nothing to do with the amount of partners he fucks - they are not of any romantic or emotional significance for Bing-ge. This is how his relationship with the harem is described by the PIDW reader's forum in the novel:

"Airplane really doesn’t know how to write romance plotlines, best if he just doesn’t. I feel like Luo Binghe doesn’t have feelings for any of his wives, he just wants to use them. And I can’t see any of those women with real moving emotion for him. "(NB, Ch. 73)

So - no romance for Bing-ge in PIDW, the Airplane didn't grant him this privilege and happiness. And yes - the ending for the tyrant he's become in PIDW is not happy in a slightest.

So, binqui did not appear out of nowhere, and yes - it has always been there from a beginning, in the core of everything. Implied. This is not only canon: it is the exact essence of it, the base, the foundation, which explaines everything that happens in the novel and even beyond - in PIDW, where the mighty protagonist that has everything, except the only one thing he really needs - the love of his shizun - is doomed to an eternal unhappiness and loneliness.

[goamu-blog]

I wanted to answer this question: (it's only a speculation)

"How intense is Luo Binghe love for the original Shen jiu and why is he so damn fixitated him for is it his looks or personality lol ? I'v read so many fics of Shen yuan identity reveal with Luo binghe and the peaklords that always ended positively but do you think it'd be the same in the canonverse? Like if Shen yuan were to reveal he wasn't the original would they react positively or negatively?"

I think 1st thing he feel in love was SJ's looks

"Shang Qinghua: “What was your first impression of the other person?”

 

Luo Binghe continued to reminisce and lightly said: “An aloof and remote, distant and untouchable immortal.”

then he started to do anything to gain SJ's attention/favor... He befriended with SJ's favorite disciple NYY, even if she always got him in trouble, then after he was pushed down to the abyss he realized that SJ would never return his feelings so he decided to destroy him, meanwhile he started to cope with it and started to pretend that SJ was a scum villain who couldn't love anyone but himself (that's probably why he never seen SJ's memories even if he was able to do so) and when YQY died he and SJ's reaction finally shattered his illusions...

Well, in my opinion, you pretty much nailed it. Especially keeping in mind the original intentions of Airplane to write PIDW as a yaoi novel with SJ (SQQ) and LBH as a OTP.

P.S.: Apparently I better quote the text of SVSSS, chapter 81 to be precise, to avoid ignorant comments. There's a huge misunderstanding going on in the English-speaking segment, probably dew to an English translation of SVSSS. Some readers are mislead by two quotes, that they take as a contradictory, which in truth, they are NOT.

The first one is from a Chapter "The story begins". It is the last chapter of the novel, after this the extras start. And this particular chapter is a culmination: this is where the truth is reveled. Like in a detective story, where we finally find out, who the killer is. This meant to become a real "bomb", that makes a reader go WOOOW!!! And this is THE KEY for understanding the whole story: the plot and the characters, especially Luo Bing-mei (and Luo Bing-ge). And speaks about the intentions of the Airplane. (original scrapped outline(c))

The second quote on the other hand speaks of an EXISTING PIDW. (original outline(c))

The first quote, from the final chapter:

Shen Qingqiu looked him up and down. “You don’t look crushed at all after all this foolish messing around ended up completely changing your own novel.”

Shang Qinghua said, “You can’t say it like that ah. Maybe you think it’s just all foolish messing around that isn’t worth a damn, but for Bing-ge, your foolish messing around is probably the meaning of this entire world.”

... holy s***, Great God Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky was able to say something like that?!

Shen Qingqiu was terrified. “F***. You didn’t turn back into the original character, did you?”

Shang Qinghua said seriously, “Don’t be like that. I’m also a young person with literary ideals. Of course, I have my own reflections and emotions.”

Shen Qingqiu laughed coldly. “What literary ideals? How come all I saw in the original work was shameless fanservice?” Not to mention his hand speed that could produce ten thousand words a day, and the courage to even occasionally explode with twenty thousand. If he didn’t have such equipment, there was no way 《Proud Immortal Demon Way》 would have been able to hold out before it was serialized!

Shang Qinghua spread his hands. “You think that I always wrote shameless content that lacked any integrity from the very start? I’ve also written belles-lettres4 before, but they were all unpopular, so I had no choice but to go down a path that catered to the masses. It must be said that writing novels is a very lonely undertaking. Rather than writing a stallion male protagonist who’ll be stereotypical in the end, it’s more in line with my philosophy for writing to create the current Bing-ge━this kind of weirdo male protagonist whose character is a bit more complicated, has contradictions and conflicts, and has a rough destiny.”

Shen Qingqiu concluded, “So, your philosophy for writing is to write about gay guys?”

Shang Qinghua: “Do you look down upon gay male protagonists? Works of art and artists all like to create gay guys. Belles-lettres favors gays, do you know that?”

He waved his arms wildly and passionately. “Cucumber Bro, if the System hadn’t chosen you, this faithful die-hard reader, perhaps the plot wouldn’t have deviated so thoroughly, thoroughly to the point that it deviated all the way back to my original scrapped outline. Even though the me back in reality━who couldn’t endure the loneliness and was under financial pressure━chose to finish writing 《Proud Immortal Demon Way》 according to other people’s preferences and what they found cool... now, all thanks to you, essentially everything that I wanted to write has already unfolded in front of my eyes. Cucumber Bro!”

He patted Shen Qingqiu’s shoulders with deep sentiment and solemnity. “You... are the chosen one; as for my career, I have no more regrets!”

... why did it sound like the System and this world were both products of Shang Qinghua’s resentment over scrapping that outline and going with what was mainstream?

Shen Qingqiu, who shamefully became this kind of “chosen one”: “Who’s your faithful die-hard reader?”

Shang Qinghua waved his hand and one-sidedly declared his victory. “I’m not going to talk to you; you’re an anti-fan.”

Shen Qingqiu was about to say, “I’m only an anti, not a fan!” when he suddenly heard Shang Qinghua starting crooning something like, “Emotions are warm, kindness hard to bear, lips moving together, desires turning the evening to the next morning, never resting from dawn to dusk.” The crucial point was that melody, which sounded extremely familiar to the point that it made Shen Qingqiu’s hands and teeth itch. He pointed at him and said, “Shang Qinghua, what are you singing?”

Shang Qinghua continued to croon. “The warmth of emotions makes gratitude hard to bear. Lips to lips, locked in a kiss. Let this night linger ‘til tomorrow’s dawn. Day after day, night after night; never to end. Will tomorrow be another today? When ‘til Zheng Yang reaches its zenith? As Zheng Yang ascends, the voice of Autumn stirs. A sheathless Xiu Ya, a spurt of cold nectar. Tragic pleas amidst choked sobs, thus in vain; for he rises again5...”

Shen Qingqiu was in disbelief. “F*** you—why don’t you just try and sing another line?”

Shang Qinghua said, “Great Lord Shen, why aren’t you listening to what I’m saying? You must never go around casually f***ing people. Bing-ge will go crazy. I’m telling you, this Resentment of Chunshan is equivalent to Shi Ba Mo6. You two are the legendary national homos, do you understand? I have no problems with you shutting me up, but ultimately it’s useless. You can’t possibly make all the countless people in the world shut up...”

The second quote, from the extras: "

System: 【Basic accomplishment of《Proud Immortal Demon Way》’s original outline, slight deviation of romance plot, objective accomplished. Function to return to original world download complete. Activate return home sequence?】

Basic accomplishment of the original outline, that he agreed with, all the holes which needed to be filled were filled. But, this “slight deviation of romance plot” isn’t quite right. Bing-ge is gay no━how can you say this is a “slight deviation”? Ay okay, okay. In fact, in his original outline, Bing-ge didn’t have a romance plot; he was doomed to fade away, alone and unaging forever. If you insist on adding a plotline, that’s whatever, but he’s wasted this many words… you mean he can return to his original world?!?!"

The second quote is very poorly translated into English. What it actually means, is that Bing-ge does not have ANY SIGNIFICANT RELATIONSHIP, LOVE. Nothing to do with he amount of partners he fucks. And yes - the ending for the tyrant he became in PIDW is not happy in a slightest. This is how his relationship with the harem is described by the PIDW reader's forum in the novel:

"Airplane really doesn’t know how to write romance plotlines, best if he just doesn’t. I feel like Luo Binghe doesn’t have feelings for any of his wives, he just wants to use them. And I can’t see any of those women with real moving emotion for him. "

[goamu-blog]

i went to a character tag and got annoyed &my hand slipped and i ended up writing like 700 words of a character study of shen jiu so. don't mind me just putting it here.

i feel like people are so focused on the trauma plot of shen jiu in the question of whether or not he could lead a happy life (which is to begin with a strange question in itself) that they completely dismiss the reality of his situation. i always say that i love sj's "whatever you've heard about me believe it and leave me alone" stance because it's funny but i only now noticed that readers completely miss why he behaves like this at all? or rather, they talk themselves in circles of his psychological flaws while the most obvious reason is that he simply knows he will not be believed. he has no actual background he can refer to beyond his life at the peak. more than that, everything that he says about his life before can point to the truth of him having been a slave. and this is obv a dangerous thing; knowing he was a slave, it could be easily found out that he murdered his owners - and in that case he would most probably lose everything.

which is all to say that readers clearly forget that our justice standards do not exist in that world. the general public learning of his past would not make them more sympathetic and the abuse he withstood would not be taken as justification for his actions. it would just humiliate him and perhaps even land him in prison. for all purposes it is better that his trips to the brothel are taken to be "whims of a spoiled promiscuous rich master" as opposed to visits to women that he once was closer in social status with and an escape from his current environment where he does not feel safe because he's afraid of men. of course there are other situations when he could have been truthful -- irt lqg's death, for instance -- but when you think about it, he is already isolated by then and yqy's opinion's is already known: while yqy has this pitiful little endeavour to keep sj safe going on, he does always assume the worst about shen jiu anyway.

and speaking of, it's not like yqy ever offered sj truth himself. who's that person that sj is supposed to offer veracity too? with whom is he supposed to be vulnerable?

above it all there is the simple notion of sj's shame and the explicit statement that he believes himself to be one of people who were just 'born bad'. but it is also not like he never tried. the thing that got him sold to the qiu family was his attempt to help a boy that he did not even like. and then, there is even the radical moment when he is gifted the name 'qingqiu' and he thinks that from now on, he will be a 'new person.' and yet, the ironic strike of luck (or the opposite) that made the peak lord choose this name for him tells us all we need to know: that sj can never be free of the qiu family. it's not just some inherent character flaw nor his desire to wallow in misery that are a downfall of his reputation. sj is not stupid. he knows there are things that cannot be said.

the fact that it is not obvious is tbh baffling to me given the title of the novel, its general premise and the fact that one of the first questions asked by shen yuan as he's looking into mirror is 'why are you like that?!' shen jiu cannot answer this question because he is dead. he could not really answer that question when he was alive either. but while sj is merely haunting the narrative, we learn that nearly every single thing said about him was a fabrication -- and it is quite clear in the extras where he actually appears that every single time he tries to do something right, it is taken to be malicious. so to say that 'he did all of that to himself' or some variation is reductive given that this is the initial assumption about him in the book that gets reconstructed and debunked??

[goamu-blog]

since i posted the playlist... might as well... this is all i cld cobble together of the design i was thinking of...

(its shen jiu if u tag it as sy!sqq im taking your little finger)

edit 23/09/23: updated <3

[goamu-blog]

finally got around to reading and finishing svsss and since I'm not an isekai fan. I was surprised about sqq and binghe's relationship.

the way I've seen it framed by fans is that it's cute and endearing on binghe's part and sweet and indulgent from sqq. I'd seen that the master student thing was critiqued and binghe should understand he cant keep sqq to himself but that was it

these two should not be near each other. its such an unhealthy relationship! I fail to see the romance here. the fuck.

[goamu-blog]

Needed to get my thoughts in ordering about SY and LBH relationship, so I did this. Starting this off with, I don't understand why they are together or even have a romantic relationship. Their entire romantic relationship never really developed. To me, LBH and SY romantic relationship does not feel real or convincing in any way.

Everytime I see something about their love for each other, I'm always like, what love is there between them. How can they love each other when they don't even know the others' true personality and thoughts. They don't really know each other in any deep and meaningful way.

SY entire outer personality and actions are a complete front he puts on. He acts the part of a composed, elegant, lofty, immortal scholar. But that is not who he remotely is on the inside, his actual inner personality and thoughts are that of an internet hater, an anti fan, conceited, self centered, narrow minded, homophobic/transphobic(just because he is in a gay relationship doesn't make him any less homophobic/transphobic), and a bit sexist. Any time he meets a woman, the first thing he does is comment on their appearance and that they belong to LBH. He even treats NYY that way, someone he has known since she was a young teen, and seeing him commenting on her appearance and breast didn't endear him to me.

So yeah, SY never shows LBH or anyone else his real personality. He just puts up a front that is not even close to his actual inner personality. Actually, that is not quite right, the only one he does show some of his real self to is SQH. And SY treats SQH terribly. He is always demeaning and disregarding SQH. SY thinks he is better than SQH and that he knows the world and characters better than SQH, the author. Even when SQH tells SY that not all women wanted LBH, SY doesn't believe him because he believes he knows better than SQH. SY also fully expected SQH to die at some point and was fine with it since he was surprised that SQH was still alive when they met after the time skip.

I can honestly go on and on about how SY is actually not even a remotely good person like the fandom believe and likes to portray him as, I actually already did something like that in a past post, but I can definitely add plenty more to it. I think I could do an essay on it if I had the time, energy, and motivation, but I don't so I will just leave it here before it turns into a SY is actually not a good person at all rant.

SY's entire outer personality is a complete front he puts on for the world. He is acting the part of a composed, elegant, lofty, immortal scholar. But that is not who he really is. SY only shows his inner and actual personality to SQH and no one else, not even LBH gets to see SY'S real personality.

As for LBH, to me, LBH seems like he only shows SY that parts of him that he knows SY will be fine with, won't make SY uncomfortable, and will get him attention and affection. LBH will only act in a way that he knows SY will approve of. In that way, he also doesn't completely show his real personality in its entirety.

While I'm on LBH'S personality, to me, it seems like the novels really never developed LBH. For being a main love interest, the books never spend much time with him or give him enough dialog. It's like LBH was a side character instead. The novels also never gave LBH anything outside of SY. LBH doesn't have any ambitions, goals, friends, or interests. Everything about LBH is tied to SY, LBH doesn't have anything outside of SY. To me, that really dulled LBH character. The novels didn't treat LBH like a main love interest, it treated him like a side character.

Now on to how they are as a couple. They have nothing in common nor any interest together. SY has more in common with LQG, and they have the same interests in monsters. SY and LBH don't have that, they don't have anything in common or have any shared interests. To me, SY and LQG make more sense as a couple then SY and LBH do, because at least I can say that LQG and SY actually have things in common and shared interests, unlike LBH and SY.

I remember seeing a post about how the reason SY and LBH are a good couple is because SY accepts LBH as he is, with all his jealousy and insecurities, and that it is romantic and that's why they like them. I do not think they realize that jealousy and insecurities do not in fact, make for a long and healthy romantic relationship at all. It just shows how insecure LBH is in the relationship.

On to their communication, they do not have any. SY is completely incapable of communicating in any deep, truthful, and meaningful way. Anytime that SY had any insight or even a little deeper understanding of LBH happened because SY was going through LBH'S mind. Not because they actually talked to each other. And even then, SY's understanding was only surface, and even afterward, he never actually talked to LBH about anything important. SY never ever tries to communicate in any meaningful way.

Also, SY never once apologized to LBH for everything he put him through. He never even thought of it.

As for LBH, like I said before, LBH only acts in ways he knows SY will approve off, and that will get him some affection. Unless LBH is at a breaking point, he will not open up about anything deeper because it could upset SY and make him uncomfortable. So LBH will not open up to SY about anything deeper. He will keep it to himself even if it is bothering him. LBH will not bring up the past and question SY's actions, even if he needs to. To me, that shows that LBH is not comfortable with communicating and opening up to SY in any deep and meaningful way. It shows that LBH is not comfortable showing SY his authentic self.

He only expresses a little of his deeper self when he is at a breaking point, SY does anything he can to placate him, and they never again dring it up, which is very not good or healthy in a relationship.

The way I see it, as a couple, neither LBH nor SY show each other their true selves or communicate properly. SY because his entire outer personality is a total front(a lie) he puts on and never shows anyone(expect SQH) his real self, and he is incapable of any deeper communication or even thoughts, he only ever gets a slightly deeper understanding of LBH when he goes through his mind, and even then if understanding is surface only. SY never tries to have any deeper understanding or communication with LBH.

And LBH because he does not want to upset SY or make him uncomfortable. LBH will act in the ways he knows SY will approve off and get him affection. Add that on top of his jealousy and insecurities, and it makes me think that LBH is insecure about the relationship.

The part that cemented my feelings on them as a couple, that it did not feel real or convincing in any way, is in the extras, the 100 questions chapter. Usually those type of questionnaires are supposed to be fun little things for a couple to do together, so that they can reminisce about their relationship, show how well they know and appreciate each other, and have a fun back and forth conversation with banter. But that was not the case for LBH and SY.

As far as I remember, SY never once said anything that I would consider to be genuinely positive or romantic about LBH. SY was always brushing LBH off throughout the whole thing. And LBH was just like, I like everything about shizun, without going into specifics.

When asked what their partner is like, SY only said little negative things about LBH. And what got to me about this whole thing and made me feel the way that I do about them is, when LBH heard SY comments he got watery eyes, and SY was like better think of something positive and nice to say about LBH so that he does not cry, and the only thing SY could think off was that LBH was a good listener and very obedient.

The only good thing SY had to say about LBH is that he is obedient. In real life, if someone said all of these little negative things about their partner and then went on to say, well the good thing about them is that they are obedient, they would be rightfully criticized to hell and back by others. If someone I was in a relationship with said that about me, there would not be a relationship between us anymore.

When their sex life came up in the questionnaire, SY just laughed at it. His reaction to their sex life was to laugh in what I would assume to be in a mocking way because LBH once again got watery eyes if I remember that right. And SY makes absolutely no attempt to improve their sex life. He is not invested in their relationship or has any want to improve it.

The entire 100 questions chapter, along with plenty of other things in the novels, just made me feel that SY is not at all enthusiastic about his romantic or sexual relationship with LBH. Also, just because someone can appreciate someone else's looks and have sex with them does not necessarily mean they have romantic or sexual feelings towards that other person. People can and do have sex with others without feeling sexual or romantic feelings.

There was not one moment in all of the novels where I could think that SY was ever enthusiastic about his relationship with LBH or even had a romantic thought about LBH. I never felt that SY was at all excited about their relationship. It felt more like it was just something that happened to SY, so he went along with it without being truly invested in it.

Another thing about their relationship, their entire relationship only happened because of the very specific circumstances they are in. In any other situation they would not be in a romantic relationship. The only reason they are in a romantic relationship is because SY is controlling SJ's body. The fandom goes on about how SY's kindness saved the world, but it only worked because he was specifically controlling SJ's body.

If the only thing LBH needed to not ruin the world was for someone to show him kindness, then the kindness NYY's always showed to LBH would have worked, but it did not. Because it is specifically SJ's kindness, approval, and acceptance that LBH needed. LBH fell for SJ at first sight and had spent a few years with him, and as soon as the one who LBH thought was SJ showed him acceptance and kindness LBH was all for him. If SY had somehow transmigrated as himself in his own body or if he had taken over and replaced anyone else, if he had been a regular person, a disciple, some other peak lord or cultivator, or anyone else that was not SJ, LBH and SY would not have had a romantic relationship.

LBH and SY are only in a romantic relationship because it is specifically SJ's body that SY is controlling. LBH believes he is in a relationship with SJ. In any other circumstances where SY is not controlling SJ's body, LBH and SY would not have a romantic relationship.

Also, I will like to point out that anytime I see someone complementing SY looks and saying how beautiful he is, it seems that everyone forgets that that is not actually SY's looks and body right, that is SJ's looks and body. Anytime anyone says how beautiful SY is, it is actually SJ. We never ever saw SY actual looks and body, it has always been SJ. SJ is the one that is beautiful, not SY.

A few other things about their relationship, SY does not treat LBH like a romantic partner. He treats LBH the same way he did when LBH was a teen. And his relationship with LBH when LBH was a teen was very inappropriate and manipulative on SY's part, which SY being a modern person should have known, but I'm not going to get into that here. SY still calls LBH child and treats him as a live in maid, the same way he treated LBH as a teen, only now they are married and have bad sex.

Also, SY never really sees LBH as anything else other than the protagonist. Even after he had his little surface level realization. To SY, LBH will always be the protagonist first and foremost. And that shows to me that SY's care for LBH is surface level only. Sure SY cares about LBH, but SY cares about LBH the way one would care about their favorite characters, that is why to SY LBH will always be the protagonist first and foremost, anything else is secondary and unimportant.

SY and LBH entire romantic relationship, BingQiu, feels like a lie. Neither of them, but especially SY, show the other their true selves. Neither of them have anything in common or shared interests. Neither of them can communicate in any affective and deeper way, and in SY's case, it is a complete inability to communicate or even have any deeper thoughts.

SY was never enthusiastic about his romance or sexual relationship with LBH or even had a truly romantic thought about LBH. SY makes absolutely no effort to improve his relationship(romantic/sexual) with LBH because he is not invested in it. SY treats the relationship like it was just something that happened to him and is going along with it. Probably because that is what happened, SY only decided to be with LBH right after LBH tried to destroy the world and that just made it seem and feel like SY was placating LBH for his survival by being with him and not because SY actually wanted to be in a relationship with LBH. It is like SY is trying to keep LBH content and under control by being with him. Also, just appreciating someone's looks does not make for romantic or sexual feelings. SY does not treat LBH like a romantic partner, he treats LBH the same way he did when LBH was a teen and like a live in maid. If LBH and SY were not in the very specific situation where SY is controlling SJ's body, they would not have a romantic relationship. If SY was himself or controlling anyone else's body other than SJ body, LBH and SY would not be in a relationship.

So yeah, those are my thoughts on them. The entirety of BingQiu's relationship is based on a lie, so it feels like a lie. Their relationship does not feel real, and it is the least convincing romantic relationship I have ever read. And once again, SY absolutely refuses to make any sort of effort to improve their relationship in any way because he is not invested in it. SY treats their relationship like an obligation, just something he has to do. Calling their(bq) relationship romantic is a little insulting to actual romantic relationships in fiction. Their relationship does not have what it takes to be a long and healthy relationship.

[goamu-blog]

please, for the love of god, stop tagging bingjiu works from other people as bingqiu. almost all of my bingjiu fics have people in the bookmarks tag it as bingqiu and I am not the only fic writer who has that problem. same as I often see a ton of bingjiu art that people reblog and qrtw and then tag as bingqiu

it's so god damn disrespectful. just stop!!

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[goamu-blog]

I gotta say the callous attitudes of the Peaklord to go behind SQQ back to discuss his qi deviation and theorizing maybe Possession took place and when that became clear it was not they just did not continue to look further because they like the pretty outer shell of nice SQQ because then it would make them ask what make their shixiong so prickly and what his issues were that maybe it ran deep because how else is he so different otherwise?

 No one thinks of: what if this SQQ wishes to remember? I read once in a fic, and I found it very just, a Lan Zhan amnesiac who says that even if it were painful experiences (33 lashes and 13 years of mourning) they were part of him, that they were dear to him even if painful.

I think that even if SJ hated to have lived what he lived, he did not want to forget he did not want to forget Qi-ge, his fiancée, the courtesans of the brothel, all the women who were nice to him,… or his life, who he is. And who he is with unpleasant experiences: rapes without doubt, abuse, a life without a parent, a feeling of abandonment, the fact that he never felt at home in Qing Jing, that he was not loved by his martial brothers and sisters, betrayal ... and also with things he did.

it's not something they have to decide. If SY were SJ it would be up to SY and SY alone to decide if "something must be done" and if He have to “stay that way.”

I also think that although the peak lords may be right to not appreciate SJ, they never tried to get along with him either. I always found LQG to be very contemptuous without knowing (like all peak lords)

Like it sucks cause they should have talked with him in person your memories what youve gone through as a person and when it comes to his trauma all the girls he put his head down for a nice nap, Qiu Hatiang, Yue Qingyuan "betrayal" all the shit that went down makes him who he is as Shen jiu. They don't talk to him and ask if he wants to look deeper into his memories like they disregard their martial brother who I get they dislike but it makes them scummier in my eyes because wtf they barley even tried ?

Like if it were any of the Peaklords take LQG for instance they would have tried their hardest to get his memories but because their SQQ is more presentable and make them feel more comfortble is disgusting cause they disregard his autonomy.

Who we are is made up of our memories and how our past experiences have led to the development of our beliefs, our coping mechanisms, our very personalities. Without his memories, is SJ even SJ anymore? They may prefer the blank slate, but it requires no self examination for them. They do not have to think deeper like you have about why SJ is who he is, what terrible past he has that makes the reader more forgiving and understanding of his faults. If they did think about that, they would have to do something, wouldn’t they?

Hell, If Yue Qingyuan and SJ were reversed are any of us going to be suprised at the lengths he'll try to go to get his Qi-ge' back as readers but YQ who cares for SJ but lack of a backbone in not trying to recover his memories and not trying is just... irksome. SJ being more all or nothing guy compared to YQ who basically just a water down version of MDSZ Lan Xichen who basically did nothing to his benefit really says something. He's not kind he's a diplomat a politician he's polite is what he is.

YQ character would be much more attractive to me if his indecisiveness just never existed lol. I hate mopy characters so damn much and with a postions as sect leader had he been more firm and not let his shidi do whatever 99% of the things that happened never would have occured. There's only so much you can blame on miscommunication when it actively hurted and harmed the other party. He saw what it did to his shidi and he just did nothing about it right up to his foolish sucide attempt to save his Xiao at the last minute when his legs got sent to him. Wonder wtf he was doing then filing paperwork lol?

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[goamu-blog]

what if i wrote a bingjiu post-canon redemption for both evil fucks, the originals, luo binghe and shen qingqiu. they get reincarnated back to the moment before luo binghe is pushed into the abyss. shen qingqiu qi deviates from the shock of having limbs again and luo binghe thinks it'll be a nice dream if he takes shen qingqiu into the abyss with him. they both fall.

que a very long angst train where luo binghe battles the desire to kill shen qingqiu vs the desire to keep him alive out of spite. shen qingqiu honestly wants to die and is firmly in denial about what he put an innocent luo binghe through (the first time) even as he witnesses the brat suffering (poison, broken bones, exhaustion, loss of limbs etc). the idiot demon insists on keeping him alive even though it slows him down and puts him at risk. the beast got his revenge, why won't he let him go?

luo binghe wants more than revenge, this time, he wants answers.

forced bonding via circumstance go! at some point, they have to fuck or die hehe

[goamu-blog]

Snippet from my arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, A/B/O Bingjiu AU. Working title ~ The Rewards of Duty. Please anticipate, or better yet, bug me to finish it.

The wedding robes were heavy and restrictive as he paced about the room. He couldn’t wait to wear his own clothes again. Light, airy and not horrendously red. He glared at the headdress, trailing long golden chains, which waited for him.Shen Qingqiu was being styled as the bride. His spine ached at the humiliation of it. Though he reluctantly understood why they wanted to degrade him in this particular way. Everyone knew what would happen behind closed doors. The ritual was clear. By humiliating Shen Qingqiu in public, the demon’s maintained a little face for the humiliation they would incur in private. Although, from the portrait of the demon prince sent along, Shen Qingqiu wasn’t sure it was possible to humiliate such a beastly creature. For heaven’s sake, the thing had horns.

[goamu-blog]

[goamu-blog]

Ok so — Luo Binghe is happily living his life with his husband, all their problems have been sorted out, the human and demon realms are at peace… and then one morning he wakes back up at the base of Cang Qiong, a child again, on the day he was first accepted as a disciple by Shen Qingqiu. He doesn’t know how to get back to his original timeline, or even if it’s possible, but while he’s here… maybe he can make sure things between him and Shen Qingqiu go better this time around?

SQQ doesn’t like him initially, something he’s sort of forgotten over the years, preferring to think of happier times instead. He doesn’t get tea poured on him though, which is his first improvement, and he isn’t kicked out of the disciple dormitories either. Even his first cultivation manual is a copy that’s less damaged than he originally got!

(SJ still doesn’t like LBH much, but unlike the first time around, he doesn’t have a reason to specifically hate him. Instead, he just sees him as something of a sycophant, at least at first — cunning and ambitious, but loyal enough).

LBH manages to get the job of making food for SQQ again, which means he’s spending a lot more time around the bamboo house than he ever did before his shizun had that strange qi deviation, and it’s giving him the chance to see a side of SQQ he never saw before. He can still see the similarities between this one and his husband — they share a tendency for cutting critique, embarrassment over being seen enjoying something outside their role as Peak Lord, and a fondness for sweet snacks. They’re still very different though, and LBH slowly finds himself falling in love with this version of SQQ as well.

Being closer to SQQ also lets him see his interactions with the other peak lords — especially YQY and LQG, and their relationships are so different from what he’s become used to. He knows that SQQ apparently lost some memories during that qi deviation, since he apparently forgot whatever caused him to hate LBH in the first place, since he’s never been able to explain why to him — but he really must have lost a lot to forgive people that he so clearly doesn’t get along with. Sure, part of LBH is glad that LQG isn’t a romantic competitor any more, but that’s no excuse to be rude to his shizun!

Keeping this in mind, LBH decides to try and avoid that qi deviation that changed SQQ so much. The first time it happened, it was a blessing, but this time, it would erase this other version of SQQ that he’s only just getting to know. So he manages to convince SQQ to teach him how to treat qi deviations.

(SJ goes along with it, because it seems more convenient for him, even if he has to read up on some of the theory in order to teach it).

When Sha Hualing invades, LBH is ready — and when SQQ shows up with injuries he didn’t have the first time, LBH is willing to stand up and take on the first fight against the one-armed demon. Instead, SQQ fights the demon who covered his armour in Without-A-Cure, winning easily. Liu Qingge shows up, just as he did the first time, and that’s where things go wrong — when everyone is distracted by his appearance, the defeated demon charges at SQQ, almost getting him poisoned, if LBH hadn’t thrown himself between them.

(SJ was only just able to save LQG due to his better knowledge of qi deviation treatment, but he still ended up getting injuries in the process, and they hadn’t fully healed yet).

LBH wakes up a day later, in the side room of the bamboo house again, still dusty and filled with storage boxes. He’s met by a Qian Cao disciple who explains that, even though the poison ended up not being Without-A-Cure, he still needed time to fight it off, and qi infusions from a stronger cultivator — like his shizun. After they leave, SQQ comes in and asks if LBH knew he was part demon.

(SJ grew suspicious when LBH was so willing to sacrifice himself, and investigated, confirming the poison was actually Without-A-Cure, but he didn’t tell Qian Cao that. From the way he just fell ill from it, he knows that LBH must be only part-demon, although he doesn’t know how much, or if he knew if the poison would affect him or not).

LBH pretends he didn’t, drawing on his memories of the first time he learnt about his heritage, and it seems to convince SQQ. He tells him that he can stay in the sect, but only as long as he can hide his heritage — and if he decides to learn demonic cultivation, he should come to SQQ instead of seeking out any strange old masters who claim they’ll show him the route to power.

(SJ rationalises this as just a way to pay back the debt for LBH saving him from Without-A-Cure, and also a potential way to test out some of the theories about demonic cultivation. Over the next few days, he doesn’t get the chance to sleep, between the chaos resulting from the demon invasion, and the presence of LBH so close to where he sleeps. One day, just before LBH is meant to go back to the dorms, he finds himself collapsing onto his bed out of exhaustion. Rather than the nightmares he’s become used to, all his dreams are peaceful.)

Sleeping closer to him, LBH can now slip into SQQs dreamscape to take a look. The SQQ he married had strange dreams, absurd really, that mix things he’s never heard of with reality (what is a ‘microwave’ and what is it doing in his kitchen???), but this one has nightmares. Even from just a few glimpses, he can tell why SQQ might have wanted to forget those memories, to pretend they didn’t exist, so he pushes them away and replaces them with happier memories instead. A few days of peaceful dreams later, SQQ tells him he can stay in the side room, because ‘it will make cooking easier’.

(SJ still isn’t really sure what to think of LBH although he’s slowly starting to care about him — very against his will)

The Immortal Alliance Conference is coming up, and LBH has a difficult decision to make. He doesn’t exactly want to go back to the Abyss but… if Tianlang-jun gets free again, won’t his plan to unite the realms be the same? If he can find his way into the Abyss and claim Xin Mo before LBH does… no, it’s better for him to take it, to hide it away somewhere. Xin Mo may be considered lost, but there are still stories about where it could be found, some of which he knows to be accurate.

(SJ isn’t sure why his new head disciple seems so worried about the Conference, he’s sure he’ll do fine — he’ll even bet on it, and get some money out of all that work training him that he put in. It’s just a simple competition — what could go wrong?)