#just my thoughts

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Devotion.

I just want, or rather need, to write about this scene, because it stuck in my head for the last seven days. And because of the wonderful @lurkingshan I decided to post it...

This scene is the culmination, the end of the years that Qian has forbidden himself to feel joy or love. Romantic love that doesn't demand, that doesn't require him to be in control, to take care, to be the big brother. So far he has not allowed the depth of his feelings for Yuan to surface. He has kept them locked away, kept control of them. He knows they were there, but couldn’t or didn’t dare to face them, to name them. And he would have continued to do so if Yuan hadn't finally told him what he actually wants from him. It wasn't enough for him to tell Qian that he loves him, that it was his own problem, not Qian's, that he was content if the person he loved was happy. The talk with San Pang and the staircase talk were the first steps, Qian is finally able and willing to face those emotions, but couldn’t make up his mind. Still couldn't name those feelings.

Everything is too much for him. He is overwhelmed by the decision he has to make and the possible outcome of that. He could lose Yuan, if they don't work out in the end. If those boundaries are finally crossed, there is no going back to where they were. So Qian needed to hear that Yuan doesn't want him as a brother. Every time Yuan told Qian he can take care of him, he is there for him and holds up the world together with him, it was as a brother. In Qian’s mind, he said that as a brother. All Qian brought Yuan was suffering and sadness and abandonment, because he fell in love with him.

In his mind, Yuan shouldn’t love him as something else than a brother, because that would harm both of them. Because loving Qian isn’t a good thing to do. Qian knows that Yuan loves him but hasn't understood, or rather wanted to understand, the extent of his feelings. Yuan wants to be his partner. He wants him to be able to rely on him, to be Qian's rock, no matter what life brings, he wants to be there for him. And not just for the moment, but for the rest of his life. And not just as a brother Qian has to take care of, but as a lover, the one person who puts Qian first.

He wants to be Qian's partner, he wants to protect him and take the burden off his shoulders. He wants Qian not to have to deal with everything on his own, but to open up to him, to share his worries and hardships with him. And Qian finally understands what it means when Yuan tells him that he can summarize his life in two words: Wei Qian. Yuan puts Qian above himself, he would run to the end of the world for him if he had to, he would fight against the rest of the world if he had to, he will protect him, he will take care of him and love him no matter what the world holds. And finally Qian understands that it's good, that Yuan won't just leave him once he opens up, because he loves everything about him, his dark sides and his light ones. Yuan can take care of him to the end, can love him to the end. And Qian surrenders. He's always in fucking control, no matter what, he has to control everything, even his heart. But at some point, all resistance breaks. He just had to understand.

And when they get into the bedroom, Qian is beaming. The lightning focusses on his face, this delighted face. He is like pudding under Yuan’s kisses, touches, breathes. In that moment he exists only out of his emotions. There is nothing more and nothing more is needed in this situation. He has never looked so weightless before and has certainly never felt like this.

We know what Yuan imagines at night, or at least we have a pretty good idea. We have witnessed countless moments when his love and affection for Qian literally leaked out of his face, while Qian tried to suppress his feelings with a petrified expression. But finally, he can feel them. He allows himself to give in. He allows Yuan to take care of his world, to let him feel how much he loves and desires him. The power of emotions and sensations are depicted on Qian’s face. He has his eyes closed, tasting every single moment, savouring every single touch. Blissfully.

Yuan's presence is Qian's entire focus. Just as Qian is Yuan's entire focus. And he makes sure that Qian feels good, that he forgets everything, all problems and responsibilities, illnesses and losses, for the moment. He takes care of his world. This one thing he wanted to do for so long, he is finally able to do.

(Well, there is an edited version out now with this whole scene as one without the flashbacks, but I saw the other one first and I loved it, so I stick to it.) The whole scene is repeatedly interrupted by scenes from the past and it is always Yuan. I was also a bit irritated by the time jumps at first, I get why people are annoyed by this, but it makes sense. We know that Qian is Yuan's whole world, the centre around which he has revolved for years and for which he would do anything. We see scenes that led to where they are now. Their shared history. Their shared memories. The sequences speed up and at some point it's just Yuan’s face at its core. Yuan. Yuan. Yuan.

And you can understand, without needing to be told, that Yuan is also Qian's whole world. He is the centre, the heart that gives his own life warmth, with whom he can let himself fall, who knows him better than anyone else, who was always there, even when he physically wasn't, the only one who could tell him to do things he didn’t want to do, the one he can’t fucking live without. And Qian surrenders. The feelings he couldn't allow for so long are now boiling out and we have these close-ups of his face and see how he's longed for it. How touch starved this boy was.

I don't need a close-up of Yuan to know that he's enjoying every single second. Would it have been nice? Sure, but I think narratively, that's the way they wanted and needed to go. And I love this whole scene. It's aesthetic, it advances the story, it's intimate and it's fitting for the show. Because Qian always was Yuan’s world and Yuan is Qian’s whole world.

I just wanted or needed to say I love this scene, its buildup, its pace, its hecticness and this disconnected feeling. It's Qian's scene. It's what we've all been dying for, for Qian to finally give in. And when the emotions overwhelm you, then it becomes hectic, then nothing hangs together and thoughts can't be grasped, can't be put in order. You jump from moment to moment, starting at one point and ending at a completely different one. It's Qian's scene. It's not Yuan's. We've had enough scenes to see Yuan's love and devotion, now it's time for Qian. We are, like Yuan, experiencing Qian in his first moment of absolute devotion. Without time, without place, without anger or fear. He doesn't think about the past or worry about the future, because for the first time he lives in the present. Yuan gives him this security that he can let his guard down, give up the control. I don't think Qian has ever felt as safe, secure, and loved as he does in this moment. And I love it so fucking much! Perhaps I just ignore my little dissappointement in them rushing this whole thing, because I watch those scenes with a narrator in my mind and he is giving me so much more in those scenes than the actual scene shows. But I understand everyone who is dissapointed with this scene and editing.

[beargyufairy]

Just My Thoughts Pt. 34

If you discuss growth in FT characters and leave out Lucy/Wendy then you’re so wrong. These two girls have started at the lowest level and grown up so much. Quickly summing up Lucy’s growth from a celestial mage that started her magical journey at a very late age (compared to most of the other FT members), she’s the holder of multiple golden Zodiac keys, knows several spells including Gottfried and Urano metria (and of course the new ones in the 100 YQ), can use one of the grand fairy magic (fairy sphere) and has Star dress. That’s just the major parts of her growth as a mage.

Now for Wendy, she’s grown so much as a person and a wizard. I love her commitment to FT. I wonder how often she remembers her old guild because that was a very emotional moment for her to realize they weren’t truly real. I am so glad to see her dive into her dragon slayer magic (her dragon force mode is peak I love the design) alongside her enchantress powers. This is one thing I am so happy Mashima added because it’s perfect for Wendy. She’s truly power considering how young she is and how much potential she has.

For the remainder of the 100 YQ I would love to see more of her enchantress abilities, casting spells and enhancing her magic. Maybe a unison raid with Natsu. Honestly any unison raid would be acceptable. It’s something I thought would be more common but was put on the side like everything else I had high expectations for. Lucy and Juvia need to do another one since they were very first example. So maybe Natsu and Gray can have one or even Natsu and Lucy (to satisfy my NaLu needs).

Back to Wendy, I would also like to see more of her relationship with Sherria. Speaking of which, how’s her return to magic going?! I am sure Wendy does her best to provide as much support and positivity as she can. I would also like to see more of Wendy, Lucy, and Erza as almost a sister bond and wholesome moments between girls who went through so much together that’s not a battle or anything violent. Maybe a filler shopping spree or lunch outing just to relax and enjoy the moment. It’s something Wendy (and all the others need) since she’s still a child. She needs to have the positive vibes too.

I’m just going to add Happy and Carla on here because I just have one major thing I need from them. Did they ever realize the other Exceeds were their parents? Did they ever go to interact with them? How are they doing?! Honestly they could’ve had more involvement considering their flight is very useful. I just want to Happy to know his parents are proud of him and love him. I want Carla to know her mother feels sorry for what she did in the past and that to some extent an actual princess.

[justarandomhelluvablog]

"Why do Asmodeus and Beelzebub get to be good people while Mammon is flat-out terrible?"

Because greed can't be good. Bottom line. You can make arguments for lust and gluttony not being inherently harmful, but not greed.

The very basis of greed is intense desire for something (not just money) with disregard for others. You can be lustful and still love (ex, feeling sexual desire for your partner). You can be gluttonous and still be responsible (ex, going out to a party on your weekend). But you cannot be greedy and care about others.

Being the embodiment of greed inherently means you cannot care about other people. That's why Ozzie and Bee get to be Ozzie and Bee. That's why Mammon will only ever be Mammon.

[mirrroandluca]

This piece i did it 3 months ago. I just wondered Future Leo and Case. The teacher student situations. Life can be hard, but those who support you they easiest it a little bit. In this few months I can't say how glad I am. My family, my friends and you guys. YOU give me soo much support. With the reblogs, the comments, the messages make me feel a little valuable. Thank you!

Have a lovely day everyone!

[euqinim0dart]

I was so shocked when I learned that most artists do not believe in talent, saying that it is not real. Because it very much is, and that's evident in all the unique ways people have expressed themselves over time. However, it should be reminded what exactly talent is and is not.

Most people (artist or not) get talent confused with skill, ambition, and passion.

Talent - the essence of you and how your view of the world is expressed with other people. Your heart, your soul. THIS is what makes art moving whether you like how it looks or not. This cannot be taught or obtained as we all have talent of some kind.

Skill - How good you are at something or the lack thereof. Art is SKILL, not a talent. It is merely a tool of expression that our species uses to communicate with each other, any person can make art. Skill comes from time and practice. You do not have to be talented to be skilled and vice versa. Art that lacks skill can still be captivating.

Ambition - The inert drive to complete something, to try and fail again. Ambition is generally active and not a passive action.

Passion - The love, admiration, respect, and care you have for something. You can be passionate about something but not be skilled or ambitious, at it. For example, I am passionate about animation but I do not exactly want to be an animator. *These definitions are based on real world experience, both mine and others.

You can be all 4 of these but it's no requirement to make art and express yourself.

You do NOT have to be talented at art to be a skilled artist. You may want to focus your soul energy into something else and that's ok! There are talented artists who are not skilled, and skilled artists who do not focus their talent in this area.

However you came to make art is valid and right for you, there are no rules on how to create! as long as you made it with your own hands, or got permission to use the artwork of others.

[babayagabarbie]

Listen folks... I love Sokka's feminism arc as much as the next gal, but if we have to choose between his character development arcs I'd rather have his sword arc where he wrestles with the feelings of being useless amongst all the benders. If we're pressed for time, I think it's fine to make him less misogynistic. I know the point of his misogyny in the original is to showcase how you can literally be surrounded by badass women and not even see it, BUT we have that lesson in the original and we don't have time for everything

That being said, I do NOT endorse making Aang's reasonings for leaving "clearing his head". His guilt is tantamount to his character. I would argue that Sokka's story can be told without him overtly facing his misogyny or lack thereof, but Aang cannot exist without running away willfully

[s0fthunny]

i have soft skin, naturally pouty lips, bouncy boobs, a cute butt, big brown eyes, a soft heart, and i always smell so good. i’m literally a perfect princess!!

[celluloidbroomcloset]

OK. I wrote some of this in a vent to @sparklywaistcoat, but I'm gonna say it here.

I'm less sad about there not being a Season 3 and feel more just tearful anger that once again studios and streamers truly don't give a fuck about art or what it means to people or to culture. It’s corporations who just want to reproduce the same boring shit for the same boring people and even when they have something that’s popular and loved, they just can’t see past their own very narrow worldview. I really did think that the second season was going to get chucked once HBO Max restructured and WB merged with Discovery. I was shocked that it ever got released.

There’s such a wonderful scope of art in this world, but streamers won’t give it the space it needs to breathe. So when you get something like OFMD or Reservation Dogs or Good Omens, it’s so hopeful and yet you just sit there in heartbreak, hoping it doesn’t go away, or that it can at least play out as the people who make it want it to. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't, but we have to remember that even when it doesn't, it still means something.

Now, Hollywood has always been like this, but it’s still very hard to see art being treated so callously. It’s like when the Code came in and you look back and see all these lovely things, truly groundbreaking stuff, that got cut off at the knees because of the fucking mainstream conservatives who thought they knew what was best, and the Hollywood studios that went right along with them to keep selling their product.

But the studio system, and the Code, broke, and it is breaking again. We’re in line for a major bursting of cinematic art as creators escape from franchises and the mainstream, a la American Independent cinema. It is already happening. The new studio system, built on streamers and franchises, of which WB and HBOMax is a part, is collapsing. OFMD is a big sign of that—an openly queer, incredibly diverse TV show that kept pushing and pushing through eighteen episodes, that rejected queerbaiting, that rejected convention, and that built itself on being a gay pirate rom-com and was exactly that.

Queer media has done more than broken through. It has embedded itself in the culture in a way that it never did in the past. It's out from the underground without assimilation. OFMD is not the only part of that, but it is a part of it. And that's something that HBOMax, Zaslav, Hollywood, the studio system, the entire straight, cis, white, conservative, conventional mainstream world can absolutely never take away or push back into the closet. They will try, though, and they will lose. They already lost.

So, yeah, I'm angry and I'm sad, and they fucked Calypso's birthday. But we can chuck a fiddle at their heads to protect the people we love, and it isn't going to destroy our souls.

Our spirit will last throughout their entire fucking empire.

[gojo-mochi]

MDNI! Dark Themes. Dubcon/Yandere/Kidnapping/Drugging? (it catnip)

HybridKitty!Reader who was a stray but a happy stray roaming around the streets, catching fish from the river, and lazing around in the sun. But, suddenly, they get adopted (kidnap) by this strange man. He takes you in his house, forces a collar on you, telling you that it was much safer in his house than the outside world. You try to tell him that you been surviving just fine without him, that the outside was your home and you liked your freedom. He just coos at you and tries to ruffle your hair, treating you like a child.

You hiss and claw at his hand and while he winces back he doesn't hurt you back. Just looks at you sadly and tries again in a couple of hours. The days passes like this for a while, he leaves food outside of the small closet you took up space in. Feeling that it was safer in there, then the room and bed he made for you, you wouldn't eat it for a while at first. But the smell got too tantalizing, the stranger would handcook meals for you and they always smell so good.

Slowly but surely you were coming out of your skittish shell, hanging around the kitchen watching him cook once, but promptly leaving once he tried to pet you once again. However, after you finished your meal today, he asked you if you wanted dessert. This was the first time you heard this so you were curious enough to stay out of your hiding place to see what he had to offer.

He brings out a small bottle, sprinkling some leafy stuff on the palm of his hand and stretching it out to you. Telling you to take a sniff of it. The smell was nothing you ever smelt before, it was addicting to say the least. Even more once you actually got closer to his hand, though when your own hand stretch out to grab some of it, he pulled back, closing his palm into a fist and sealing away the treat.

Your ears flatten back on your head and a needy whine emerge from your throat, wondering why he would deny you the dessert if he was offering it in the first place. He waggles a finger at you, softly smiling, his eyes darken over just a bit. "If you want this treat, you gotta eat it from my hand, ok?" He reach out, palms open once more.

You shouldn't, you really shouldn't, all your heighten senses was telling you this was a bad idea but your sense of smell was overriding everything. The treat smelt too good to be left alone so you venture forward. Tentatively inching closer and closer, leaning your face down to take a good whiff of the treat and your mind was gone at that point.

Your rough textured tongue lap out at the treat, heavy purrs emits from your throat. As you kept on licking the treat out of the stranger's hand, not even noticing or caring that he was practically drooling at the sight, his thighs shaking a little, and his hand hovering over your head. Your small hands grabbed on to his wrist, pulling him closer as you try to get every single bit of the leafy treat, your tongue caressing the skin of this palm now.

He lets out a low moan at the feeling, putting his hand down on your head and finally touchy your cute fluffy ears, fingers rubbing the softness of it, making you purr out even more. You saw drunk people before back when you were a stray and you imagined this is what they must had felt like. On cloud nine and when the treat on his hand was emptied by your lips. The man stood up, hands traveling down your back and waist as he tells you that he'll give you more if you come sit on his lap and lick it off of him again.

How you could resist after just one taste? So, of course, you agreed, leaving behind the shelter of the closet and going into the bedroom. As the door clicks behind you, the last sense in your brain gave out a final warning to run. Too bad, because now the man was also addicted. Addicted to the feeling of your tongue on him and he wasn't about to let you go so easily.

After all, a good kitten gotta work for her treat~

[usuallymyenthusiast]

I know everyone else has mentioned it but honestly it’s insane how there was never a discussion about the money. like buddie just seemed to immediately share everything buck won throughout the ep??? even when learning about it eddie’s like “hmm maybe we can take this to vegas” it was always them TOGETHER from the start!! this is not very “single guy” behavior buck …

[xinnic]

I hate Cucurucho and the Federation but in a 'i love Cucurucho and the Federation as antagonists' and I hope they keep doing fucked up things to the residents not because I hate the residents but in a 'put them in a jar and shake them around like a snowglobe' way because I love these guys and enjoy them being put in Situations (because they are fictional characters and that is why they exist)

[13pxrkhxoe13]

How he would kiss you~ | Jk

The kiss would start off slow, with you two in any situation to which one innocent peck would make things become heated.

Each and everytime his lips would elope your bottom lip into his mouth, letting his teeth gently nub on it and pull back slightly until it would flop back down into place before the kiss got more intense. After the little lip bite he would make sure his top lip was in-between your lips, granting him better access to your bottom lip as he than began to deepen the kiss once his one hand found its way to the side of your face, cupping your cheek in a slighter rough manner.

Your tongue would naturally follow, making sure he got a pretty decent amount of the wet muscle, to which he would never complain and sometimes would even suck on your tongue ever so slightly. One in a while, though, he would make sure his tongue went into your mouth, exploring the place he desired to taste in a messy manner.

Messy manner? Oh this boy loved messy kisses. When the kiss would get sloppy after both of your jaws becoming sore and all, he would take this as the time to just work the tongue, stopping the kisses and just letting his tongue touch, play, & trail your lips or sometimes around your lips. "I'm just seeing," He would cover up his track everytime you asked why he did that, even though deep down you knew he had a spit kink and would do that to 'clean' your face from the comvined slober of the two of you, that may have traveled around your lips.

His hands would sometimes get sneaky when they weren't holding your face, and would sometimes go to your boobs---despite the cloth separating skin to skin contact---and would squeeze them in his big hangs, purposely trying to make you horny, and plu he just like boobs.

When you two would kiss during intercourse, he would kiss you slowly, not intense or rough, just patiently and passionately. No biting involved (surprisingly) he would just take things slow... [besides his hips that drove into you-]

When he prepped you with kisses to calm you down I feel like he would rest his hands on your shoulders and gently rub them while he kissed the corners of your lips, never really fully kissing you as you spoke about your problems.

I also feel that most times when he would cup your face while making out his hands would tug on your hair, trying out new preferences and seeing if you liked his actions by opening his eyes for a split second to see your pleasure eyes, even though they were closed the eyebrows told him everything.

He loved feeling your hands around his neck and in his hair. It was absolutely glory to him while you too kissed, or in general, really.

[Masterlist]

A little GIF to give general and physical representation (Sort of what I was imagining 🤷‍♀️😭🤣 except Jungkook would be more rough and dominanat.)

[chaos-and-ink]

The worst thing is knowing I spent so many years feeling broken and wrong and messed up and alone because I didn't have access to information. Like if I had just been allowed a way to get out of the bubble I'd been trapped in I could've saved myself so much pain. Even now I still feel like I'm learning new things. I spent so many years not even knowing people like me existed. I thought I was the only one. I thought I was broken beyond all repair. The things I felt were connected with shame and isolation.

This is why we need LGBTQ representation in non LGBTQ focused media.

As a kid I would've never been allowed to watch something if it were branded as LGBTQ. But if there were just casual representation in everyday media? Maybe I could've saved myself years of confusion and hurt. Maybe I could've learned to accept myself sooner. Maybe I could've even found myself a community sooner.

[nightlightbird]

I was thinking about how Arthur seems to survive unimaginable things, like falling in the pit (in the Dreamlands) into the maze of the creature, being stabbed in the back right through his chest and falling down so many places and never actually braking anything

Arthur also calls himself "the best and the worst of humanity" which might be weird or presumtious of me but after all that has happened to Arthur and him being a catnip to eldritch entities, I am starting to feel like there is more to him than just being human.

He feels like something more. Kayne said he was something special, different from all the alternate Arthurs who died opening the book.

This might just be a funny musing on my part but the way Malevolent is going so far, at least in my mind Arthur is almost like an avatar for humanity.

I mean, almost everyone he interacts with finds something mirrored in Arthur, whether it would be a shared experience (like a drinking problem) or something in their personality.

I don't even know. It just feels like we are about to get some hint or whatever to Arthur being somehow closer to a powerful being or something.

[cactus-fruit-juice]

I feel like a big thing people get into when writing Jason Todd is that he's mad the Joker is still alive and mad he's been replaced. Which is fair as those are a huge part of what drives him earlier in his post resurrection days. But what they also tend to do when writing him is explain away both things then act as if his whole argument easily falls apart with context.

You see a lot of fics go "no batman didn't immediately replace you, Tim fought him for that, he didn't actually want another Robin" and "Batman was going to kill joker but batman can't kill, he still cares about you" and then Jason starts doubting his reasoning or whatever but like I feel like that wasn't the main point???

Was Jason mad he was replaced? Abso-fucking-lutley. Was Jason mad that the Joker was still alive? Yes fucking furious. But that never felt like the main point to me. To me it was the fact that, especially from the outside, his death changed nothing.

He looks back into what's happening in Gotham and sees not only that there's a new Robin but that the Joker had gotten out again. The newspaper headline he sees could quite literally be one from his Robin days because that's how little things have changed. Not only is there another child running around in the same outfit fighting crime but he's literally fighting the same exact man that got him killed.

Not only is the joker not dead but he's still escaping fairly regularly. The security wasn't even beefed up after his death.

And that means his death meant nothing.

His death didn't better the world, his death didn't even change anything. Nothing better came from him dying, there was no greater cause. He simply died.

[heldentenxr]

i just wanna say that being a Ukrainian is difficult asf. russia is literally committing genocide on us, kills our best people, strikes hospitals and houses, tortures civilians, murders children, all while still sitting un the UNSC and having a shit ton of influence over the West through propaganda. “white people” will never treat us as equal: they probably never even heard of us in the first place and thought we were a part of russia. they ask us if we have Internet or malls in Ukraine like it’s a cavemen county and not one in the centre of Europe. people of color think that we get some sort of “special treatment” in our literal struggle to survive, because they didn’t receive it (i can’t blame them, really, but sometimes they go too far in their bitterness). our allies do help us, but they didn’t want to give us any sort of serious ammunition/weapons/warplanes because they were afraid of escalation, not to mention that they were ready to let us be devoured by russian terrorists in the beginning of the full-scale invasion. the UN congratulated the world with fucking russian language day on the day those bastards blew up the Kakhovka dam, killing hundreds, not evacuating civilians in occupied regions, because that was the point. killing. as a Ukrainian poet and politician Volodymyr Vynnychenko once said, and i hate that those words are true, “being a Ukrainian is being in a constant state of proving your right of existence.”