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More Things MONARCH Now Knows About Big Lizards

Big Lizards are often much larger than they appear

The head contractor's site notes for January 14, 2015 during initial Castle Bravo construction read as follows:

"6 A.M. No concerns. All work proceeding as scheduled.

11 A.M. Work delay due to inaccurately placed survey markers. Discussed w build team. South rock wall approx 250' closer than initially surveyed.

12 P.M. Meeting w Survey Team (bring mark for the fight)

1 P.M. Inspected survey markers w survey team. 4 noted missing. Likely rockfall from south trench.

4 P.M. Construction temporarily suspended due to Kaiju Protocol A1. (scrawled in pencil) Survey markers located and were correctly placed initially.

Big Lizards are preternaturally drawn to whatever will cause the biggest commotion. They cannot be stopped, only monitored and annoyed.

The idea came from an intern whose preferred name was Rooster. And it was less a fully-fledged idea, and more of a college-age rice grain of wisdom that had spent most of an undergraduate degree fermenting in the back of the mind, ready to be weaponized the moment someone asked: "What's going to convince a hundred and sixty thousand tonnes of stupid to move?"

It turned out that the big atomic bastard hated Wonderwall as much as the rest of them.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you. Fool me thrice, shame on you....etc

"Give him a crow."

It is approximately ass o'clock in the morning, you've got two antacids and a cup of coffee keeping you with the living, and Big&Mean has been circling for an hour, steadily inching closer to the big window. Bastard can always sense when a supply run is scheduled. You spent half a billion dollars of money you don't even have trying to keep the bastard out of the way, and at this point you're not too proud to accept advice coming straight from a kid named Rooster.

All it takes is the first crackle of the speakers. You're sort of glad that Serizawa can't see his pride and joy turning tail and fleeing the dulcet tones of Liam Gallagher. To be honest, it's got the same effect on your kid. At this point, the lizard might as well be your damn kid. Christ.

"Keep it looped"

The technician looks like she's weighing a court martial (or whatever MONARCH does) before she opens Spotify. The idiot lizard, from five hundred meters out, gives you a look that would have been intimidating if it wasn't coming from half a kilometer and if the bastard didn't look like a scolded cat slinking off for a well-deserved grooming session.

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Another piece in the Ariel Series, a list of commissions I'm making featuring Ariel from the Little Mermaid, and this time encountering a young Godzilla. This is the fifth part of the series.

You can find me on twitter.com/SofieWikstrmArt Artstation: https://www.artstation.com/sofiewikstrom Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/sofiewikstromart

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the concept of godzilla being a vengeful representation of nuclear destruction and the concept of godzilla being a big lizard who fights other monsters are two girls who make out sloppily btw

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The King likes to sleep (1/?)🦎👑

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I like to think that, over time, city infrastructure would change to accommodate the reality that titans/kaiju are inevitably going to wander into human settlements. Roadways are drastically widened, buildings are redesigned with added protection, coastal cities get reinforced walls to block the inevitable Goji-Surf when he makes landfall.

And, much to the surprise of everyone, rampant destruction dwindles to an all-time low since 2014. It's like a deer crossing except for gigantic nuclear beasts.

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The worst thing that ever happens to MONARCH will be when Godzilla realizes that they're actually interesting. Like... y'all think this lizard is getting in the way now? Wait until he starts reacting to MONARCH like a giant, spoiled cat who expects them to entertain him at his leisure. Wait until any sort of mobilization results in the big honkin' son of a bitch rolling up in a tsunami on the off chance the humans do something worth seeing.

Training exercises become disasters because the newbies aren't good at keeping a low profile and it's hard to give your best performance when Godzilla is eyeballing you from half a mile away.

MONARCH won't be clandestine by choice anymore. It'll be to dodge their weird, scaly #1 Fan and his embarrassed wife.

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Top ten things I never thought would happen this year. Uh. Me getting severely back into Godzilla?

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Mothra singlehandedly mending 95% of human-Titan relations simply by being the most fabulous moth she can be....

and by visibly threatening Godzilla into compliance any time he thinks about throwing a tantrum.

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big grumpass cat

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A Comprehensive List Of Useless Facts MONARCH Has Learned About Godzilla

As time goes on, Godzilla has become the unofficial MONARCH 'office cat'. Like all cats, he is eternally where he should not be, and no, he will not move if you ask him to.

Also like many cats, if he fits, he sits. MONARCH has a specific team in place to handle the complaints from destroyed sports stadiums.

Tourism boats are banned from Godzilla's most common routes. This is, of course, for public safety.

It is also because Godzilla will loiter in these areas, causing mass shipping disturbances. Why does he linger, you ask? Top experts suspect he is, scientifically speaking, "showing off"

MONARCH has documented this absolute criminal of a lizard dodging dozens of complex obstacles around Castle Bravo. Yet he still manages to destroy at least one of their ships per quarter.

On three separate occasions, underwater drones have recorded what top experts refer to as 'Goji zoomies'. During these periods of heightened movement, Godzilla has been measured at speeds more than twice what was previously recorded.

Due to increased unpredictability and energy output, these 'zoomies' are considered an A-Level crisis for anyone within three miles. Detailed evacuation plans have been crafted and memorized by personnel in the event that Godzilla attempts to engage in play with Castle Bravo.

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Human!Goji 1/?: where'd u come from

Rule one of Human!Goji AU is we never question if Hollow Earth is science or magic because the answer is always yes.

- Let's just assume there's a magical science doorway - Lizard goes in lizard and comes out human - No one understands - Chaos ensues - turns out the lizard can still lift - he and the surrounding monarch agents realize this at the same time - needless to say, trucks start flying - why does he look kind of like colin farrell - nobody is getting anywhere because not!colin farrell won't stop throwing vehicles at everyone nearby - at this point nobody even knows where godzilla is or how he is associated with the homicidal superhuman lobbing jeeps around

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Yes Hello

My name is Jack and I've got ADHD and a passion for nuclear lizards. This blog's only purpose is to support and even fuel a wide variety of my personal, absurd Godzilla-based AUs.

Common classics include Human!Goji AU, as well as any variety of Idiot!Lizard tropes and we follow Legendary!lore here only because it's got more beef than some of the others.