goldstarrsandbigsmiles
Gold Starrs and Big Smiles
Giving props and grins where props and grins are due.
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Two naps at the same time on a Saturday. This may be my greatest accomplishment to date. Sad, but true.
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"What's the movie where she gets knocked up? Oh...right ...nevermind."
- Jeff
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Shake Shack opened up 1.2 miles from my house, and walking here with Q was literally the only post-partum goal I had.
Kid, we finally made it to the mothership.
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Mister Man and I have been kicking it as a weekend warrior dynamic duo for the past five months while Super Pop and Granny P renovate our new home. As exhausting and planning-heavy as it's been, these precious moments with him have been so special, and I will cherish them as we move into this exciting new chapter in our lives.
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THIS is opening in what I would consider walking distance from our new house.
Houston, we have a problem.
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365 to the 3-5
This past year has been nothing short of amazing, namely watching a chunky blob of cuteness become a non-stop, hearty rock of handsomeness…and no, I’m not talking about Jeff’s dad bod. Net-net, I’m amazed at what I’ve learned in 35 years on this precious planet and love taking this time every year to reflect on my greatest hits. So as we say to Max when getting him out of the bath: ready, steady…SPAGHETTI! 1. Pretty sure one of the most terrifying things as a mom is the undeniable fear of getting back into the workforce after months of maternity leave. The insecurities/self-doubt I thought I squashed years ago once again reared its ugly head, and the thought of rebuilding all over again sounded even worse running while on five hours’ sleep. But where there’s a will, there’s a way – and the countless list of colleagues who believed in me and cheered Mama Jess back on the horse will never be forgotten. 2. My four years in Houston have made me quite fond of this special little city, but nothing felt quite as magical as watching our town literally rise up from the waters, come together...and watch our ‘Stros bring home a World Championship. Harvey was awful, but it brought out the best of so much and so many. 3. We finally pulled of a “two weddings in one weekend” stint – and with two of the most deserving brides I have the pleasure of knowing, no less. This brings Jeffica’s wedding count to 39…just waiting on that special 40th to put us “over the hill.” 4. 80% of the reason you have kids is to create Halloween costumes that are mainly for your entertainment…right? So not everyone dresses their kids up as human cheese wedges, dubbing them “Maxaroni and Cheese?” No? Okay cool cool cool, good talk. 5. I used to think extracurricular classes for kids were some whack way for parents to compete against one another. ERRONEOUS. It’s a way for someone else to help you entertain and educate your child because that shit is EXHAUSTING. They're super cool, super helpful…and I was super wrong for ever thinking otherwise. 6. I legit wasn’t sure if Max had teeth inside of those gums after a full year of sprouting NADA. Luckily he’s well on his way (with six more popping thru as I type!), but it was a bit touch-and-go for a while. 7. I can see my parents becoming better, happier versions of themselves these days. It not only inspires me but also makes me truly believe all things happen for a reason…no matter the things. 8. Seeing my brother play with my son will never, ever get old. 9. It’s remarkably easy to forget how freaking cold winters are in the northeast…until you go back for Christmas and freeze off your croutons on a Saturday night. That cold, piercing wind. OY. Do NOT miss. 10. Watching a kid learn how to get on all fours, crawl and eventually walk feels like it takes forever but is such a cool process to observe. Now…if only he’d stay put. 11. It looks like Toys-R-Us threw up in our living room, and the Virgo in me has completely surrendered to this reality. 12. Moms: If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut. You’re probably right. Be it a weird feeling about daycare or a cough that’s worse than normal – you know that kiddo best. 13. I miss having the energy to watch television post-bedtime. 14. But don’t get it twisted – even if it takes me 8 sit down sessions, I will continue to keep up with my Housewives. 15. Whenever I see Max and his big, strong physique, I’d like to think the full year of being hooked up to a breast pump contributed to his off-the-charts stats and good health. But I also think about how much it freaking suuuucked…so I briefly pat myself on the back and immediately return to blacking it all out. 16. Hosting our child’s first birthday at a bar and making it totally about us was a FANTASTIC decision. 17. I was worried Max’s hair wasn’t going to curl again after his first haircut: I was wrong, thank GOODNESS. When it’s long, it looks like a birthday bow is sitting on his precious little head, and I LIVE FOR IT. 18. As happy as I am to watch everyone grow up, I’m running out of cousin bar/bat mitzvahs and am kind of bitter about it. 19. Life hack: If you have food poisoning but need to jump on what will eventually become your first home purchase — bring a barf bag, (literally) suck it up, take that house tour and hope for the best. Houston real estate be cutthroat, y’all. 20. Most people that hear we bought a house are like “wow congrats that’s awesome,” but those who have visited from the east coast are more like “wow okay soooo you’re saying we can’t use your apartment complex pool when we come down?” Sorry, friends. I’m just as sad. 21. Pretty sure Houston weather will find a way to ruin any holiday weekend. Memorial, July 4th, Labor…name your celebration, and a freaking flash flood will follow. 22. Nothing made me more confident in our home buying decision more than when we told our neighborhood friends and they let out a collective sigh of relief. SO sweet they were being supportive on the surface, but even sweeter when they confessed they were only being supportive on the surface. 23. Dave Matthews Band has STILL. GOT. IT. 24. Moving to Texas was one of the balliest, scariest things I’ve ever done, but the gift of my business has been one of the most rewarding outcomes EVER. It’s so cool to genuinely say I love what I do. 25. Really love how our kid went through a clingy phase when we had seven willing babysitters during the week we spent at the Outer Banks. Cute. 26. I did NOT watch enough HGTV to prepare for the endless decisions necessary to renovate a home. I know more about grout and appliance ratings/reviews than I ever thought imaginable. 27. Traveling the world with my mom was always a dream of mine, and bringing it to life was one of the coolest experiences ever. 28. Italy is a breathtaking country, filled with fresh food, amazing history and remarkable scenery – and sharing it with some of my favorite, friendly east coast faces made it all the more special. 29. I have tried to Julia Childs my way from here to next Sunday, but it never fails: my son will reject any and all of my culinary efforts to hide vegetables in delicious, homemade meals. The self-restraint I have exercised while I watch him reject said made-with-love meals deserves a medal of valor. 30. I will NEVER, EVER be able to thank my mother-in-law enough for everything she is doing to help make our first house a home. She truly is a carpenter that makes miracles. Here’s hoping for her next trick she can turn water into wine. 31. If you injure your groin post-partem, buy an inflatable donut from CVS and blow that bad boy up wherever you need. Do what you gotta…and YOU DO YOU, GURL. 32. Making time for girls’ trips as a mom can be tough, well, as a mother. Tough…but so, so, so worth it. 33. Normally there’s one or two crazy things going on in my life, but lately, it’s literally been every. Single. Thing. And there’s no one in the world I would rather be conquering them all with besides Jeff. 34. Having a birthday on Yom Kippur is a pretty big downer…except when it revolves around a work trip and gives you a chance to spend more time with your family. 35. This upcoming year is going to be a giant slice of crazyberry pie, and I am so, so excited for what’s to come. Here’s to happiness, health and let’s be real – making time for Housewives.
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This is what keeps me up at night
I wonder if Angelina or Jen have ever gotten drunk with their girls and belted out Shania karaoke all like, "OKAY, SO YOU'RE BRAD PITT...that don't impress me much"
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First ferris wheel ride...and yet another reminder of how special it is to watch him discover the world.
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I wish I had thought of this...but I'm just as happy bearing witness to it.
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Their dads have gotten into so much trouble together...I can only hope they do the same.
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Hurricane Flo couldn't stop our flow. GIRLS TRIP SUCKAS.
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