gotham-response - Tumblr blog

[gotham-response]

Gotham establishments ranked by food quality:

1. Pepperoni Toni's

2. The Tasty Pierogi

3. Ralli's

4. Batburger

5. Mitch's Mayo Mart

Gotham establishments ranked by how likely you are to get mugged there:

1. Pepperoni Toni's

2. Batburger

3. The Tasty Pierogi

4. Mitch's Mayo Mart

5. Ralli's

Obviously, the ideal restaurant based on convergence of the two lists is Ralli's, but I just can't get enough of Pepperoni Toni's cheesy bread

[gotham-response]

If supervillains could stop hijacking the billboards to make loud, city-wide announcements about their latest crimes, that would be great. Some of us work nights

[gotham-response]

The riddler held the library hostage today. But one of his hostages went into labor, and he called off the whole thing. Just packed up his goons, dialed 911, and left. Can't say I blame him

(Mom and baby are both doing well!)

[gotham-response]

[gotham-response]

Gd I love tumblr

[gotham-response]

Be careful with stating your orphan status, next thing you know the Bats gonn grab yo ass. Shi happens every year or so istg, creepy fuckin cryptid appears with some rando ass orphan thats jumpin around kickin ass alongside him smh

Tbh, at first rumor thought Batsy was just pullin a worm and producing a new child whenever one of his limbs got cut off ykwim? But one of them street kids I knew got turned into Robin istg. Kid was a lil shit, but would do anything for a chilidog or a good book.

Hope The Bat is treatin him alright, lil bro deserves a good home yk?

Man that's lowkey horrifying. I thought that was like. Just something parents told their kids so they'd be good and eat their vegetables. "Do your homework or the Batman will kidnap you" type beat. I hope the kiddo's okay. Batman's got plenty of cash going off of the insane car he drives around, so he's got a roof and meals at the very least. Not sure what kind of parenting involves combat training tho

[gotham-response]

Brb taking the ambulance to Tricorner for my Batburger Deluxe

[gotham-response]

[gotham-response]

A kid this morning fell off his bike and WRECKED his leg. I'm talking so wrecked that you could tell from 100 feet away that it was messed up. He asked if we had any superhero bandaids to make it better. My god, that kid arrived at the hospital with so many bandaids on his body that you'd think he tried to fight a chainsaw

[gotham-response]

[gotham-response]

Here's hoping my toilet flushes after Mr. Freeze's most recent rampage 🤞🤞

[gotham-response]

[gotham-response]

The Neat Freak?

Hey guys if I were to become a villain right here Right now as a cleaner WHAT would my villain name be. Do NOT put "The Cleaner" or some lame shit, I need HONEST SUGGESTIONS for NO PARTICULAR REASON.

[gotham-response]

I get heart palpitations every time I see it

[gotham-response]

Scarecrow does need to step up the fear toxin though. Seriously it's supposed to make you cry from terror not boredom.

Also Manbat is out again so good luck (Do NOT bite!)

Friend. Bud. Kiddo. I'm gonna recommend seeking help from, y'know, ANY psychologist OUTSIDE of Gotham.

And thank you for the update. PSA EVERYONE!!! Manbat is out, so stay inside if you can, bring your heftier weapons if you do need to go outside, and, above all else, DO NOT BITE MANBAT. They'll call me if you do, so don't think you can bite him all sneaky like and get away with it. I'll KNOW, and I will be judging you. Thank you and good night

[gotham-response]

Hey I just moved here a couple weeks ago, but I've been following your posts, and I was wondering

Do you know why that rich kid, Theo? Tim? Titus? I can't remember, anyway the sleep deprived one, do you know why he's wandering around lower gotham with a limp?

Hmm. For patient confidentiality, I cannot confirm the name of the person that you might be referring to. What I can tell you is that I responded to a call for a kid who fell out of the sky. He said he was skydiving, but it was a bit weird because there was an unloaded bazooka strapped to his chest. At the same time one block over, there was a call for a certain rogue who ALSO fell out of the sky. Said rogue had minor burns and a face full of glitter.

So what happened? Glitter bazooka warfare? A penthouse rave gone wrong? Who's to say for certain?

But with all that said, welcome to Gotham!!

[gotham-response]

Look, it hasn't happened yet, but considering the random chaos of Gotham, it's really only a matter of time