gothgirlasseater - Tumblr blog

[gothgirlasseater]

ooh i also blocked my abusive ex and told him to kill himself!

omg hey!!!! anymore life updates?

not major ones lmao. still celibate, have been for 3 months now. forming relationships with people that aren't just based on the fact they want to fuck me (difficult bc men are beasts but i am in the process of increasing my self esteem and knowing my worth). my social life in general is doing better (not hugely but we're getting there)

still decreasing my porn intake (i might never completely quit, and that's ok) and working on my relationship with sex. my artwork is getting better, and i am actually committing myself to my art. i listen to new music every day. i got my first job in over a year and i get paid very well for doing very little work lmao. when i get my money up i plan on taking burlesque classes!

all things that have been direct results of me fighting my addiction.

[gothgirlasseater]

omg hey!!!! anymore life updates?

not major ones lmao. still celibate, have been for 3 months now. forming relationships with people that aren't just based on the fact they want to fuck me (difficult bc men are beasts but i am in the process of increasing my self esteem and knowing my worth). my social life in general is doing better (not hugely but we're getting there)

still decreasing my porn intake (i might never completely quit, and that's ok) and working on my relationship with sex. my artwork is getting better, and i am actually committing myself to my art. i listen to new music every day. i got my first job in over a year and i get paid very well for doing very little work lmao. when i get my money up i plan on taking burlesque classes!

all things that have been direct results of me fighting my addiction.

[gothgirlasseater]

might bring this blog back to flex that i'm mentally thriving lmaooo anon please kys

[gothgirlasseater]

Can't wait for your inevitable relapse when life gets boring and you miss cumming hard to filthy kinks

i have had this in my ask box for a while, and i wasn't going to post it because i like looking at it. and i will still keep coming back to it.

but it does just make me laugh how much of my life i spent not realising that so many people (not all of course) who are into kink are basically evil. porn has fried your brain. i know that because it did mine. i stopped viewing women as actual people. i stopped viewing myself as an actual person. i watched so much porn i became it. no lines between fantasy and reality.

and i also know that if you sink deeper it will ruin your life. like it has mine. sex will be less enjoyable for you, you will not form healthy, happy relationships with real women, you will definitely die unhappy and unfulfilled.

and i don't care at all lmaooo have fun

[gothgirlasseater]

Don't know if you're still active here but just wanted to check in, see how you're doing?

i do consider coming back to this blog tbh lmao. don't think i will tho i just aren't huge on horny posting on my other blog. so we'll see.

and honestly? yeah, i'm fine. i basically just had to get over some stuff that a horrible J name man had done to me (who, btw i finally got the balls to block him and tell him to kill himself). i'm dealing with other stuff as well that i needed to for years but never have - that just tipped me over the edge. i was stuck being unhappy and being one of those people who do nothing about it.

the trauma is still very much there, and the celibacy is going to be in my future for at least a couple more months (which has also made me realise pretty much every man i've ever known only wants me for sex and doesn't actually like me as person so that's fun).

i don't think kinky sex is completely written off. i liked it before i met horrible J name man and i am not letting him take my sexuality away from me. i'm still exploring kink, learning to set appropriate boundaries and learning to put me first. seeing what i like and don't like. but i am definitely not in a rush lmao. life without men is the happiest life i have had so far

[gothgirlasseater]

What advice would you give to someone who's also trying to deal with the porn addiction?

this is a late reply bc i don't really use this blog anymore but if you're interested i do have another blog where i talk about this stuff @pvcvent

but i would just say evaluate what you get out of porn and why you feel you need to consume it as much as you do. if it's just dopamine, try and find other sources of dopamine (music, exercise, other media consumption is a very easy way). the main thing i've found is to just do more. spend time around people. go outside more.

also just be kind to yourself. i found quitting 100% in one go wasn't effective for me. so i have instead just decreased my intake. if you consume more than you'd like in a day, that's ok. don't let it stop you in the long term

[gothgirlasseater]

I want to call you god and est you out until you're grinding your pussy on my face

i'm listening 👀

[gothgirlasseater]

You are one of the good ones making it worthwhile. I’m wishing you the best in life.

not too sure what you mean by "one of the good ones" but thank you :)

[gothgirlasseater]

Might be weird idk but I’m proud of you. It’s not easy to improve yourself and reconfigure things. I hope all the good things come to you ❤️

thank you!!

and you're very correct it's incredibly difficult but i'm in a good place rn. just kinda accepting that i am fantastic and i deserve to put myself first 😌

[gothgirlasseater]

also that previous ask reminded me i'm seeing a counsellor next week!!

[gothgirlasseater]

i've followed you for a while now and i hope you find the strength to get off this app at some point queen. because you deserve it. eventually you'll fine love and be happy i promise 🩷

thank you! i'm hoping so too lmao. i'm setting a goal for the end of next year. however it's unlikely

[gothgirlasseater]

Are you excited to start having sex again? Is the celibacy easy?

right now, i have no desire to have sex. purely because i have no idea what type of sex i want to have. but because of that, i am kinda scared of going back. i haven't ever actually evaluated what i like and it's quite nerve-wracking.

i am starting to think i participated in the sex i did because it was easy. i basically just did what i was told. i wanted to be good. not really caring if i actually liked it.

i also knew that what i was doing was desirable to men. so now i'm kind of scared for the inevitable self-esteem knock i'm going to experience when men don't want me lmao.

[gothgirlasseater]

would you call yourself masochistic?

not at all. not anymore. i still enjoy things that occur as a result of pain being inflicted (really into branding/mark making). but i don't like receiving pain myself rn. and on the other hand, i wouldn't say i'm hugely sadistic either. i think i'd only enjoy inflicting pain for ownership purposes. to leave a mark.

[gothgirlasseater]

no bc i'm so mad i will upload that post if it kills me

tumblr please stop flagging me for a bit of leg omg!!!

[gothgirlasseater]

tumblr please stop flagging me for a bit of leg omg!!!

[gothgirlasseater]

it's a humbling experience getting significantly less notes on my nudes but i'm enjoying the grind

[gothgirlasseater]

no why have i just seen someone rewrite an old post of mine and claim it as their own lmaooooo