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[greenglowinspooks]

Well damn I guess I am doing this

Considering writing a Dead on Main story where Danny is running a ceramics store in Gotham and Jason starts taking lessons from him because his siblings keep telling him to get a hobby

The cons of this however is that I am probably the only person who this would appeal to on concept alone and I need a constant stream of attention to survive

[greenglowinspooks]

[greenglowinspooks]

You all need to understand that this concept is extremely funny to me.

Ceramics is one of the most aggravating hobbies you can ever pick up, especially when you’re first starting out. This is because it looks so simple, it’s such an ancient form of art that so many ancient humans could pull off, and yet it’s so unbelievably difficult to do right.

I can’t understate this enough. I haven’t had a genuine meltdown in years, and yet my college beginner ceramics class brought me dangerously close to one several times. And I’ve done ceramics before! I don’t even have supernatural anger issues (just normal ones)!

Jason would pick it up because hey, he works with his hands a ton, his siblings won’t get off his back about getting a hobby (rude), and it looks easy as hell.

Also, none of his overachiever family members do ceramics, so he won’t have to deal with them being better than him at something he’s starting out in.

He would end up with more holes in the wall than actual drywall, and a broken wheel.

Because you can’t force clay to do what you want. If you try, it’ll throw itself right off the wheel. The more arm strength you put into it, the more the clay will actively mutiny against you. This concept only gets more irritating the stronger you are.

To properly center clay, you have to brace your whole body weight against it, and you have to lean into it. Gentle, but firm. You have to understand that the clay doesn’t like you, it doesn’t owe you anything, and it’s only gonna do what you want if you don’t use angry ape strength on it.

I know Jason is smart. That’s why I like him. But he’s also very physically strong, and incredibly stubborn, and he has anger issues worse than mine. He would have an awful time doing pottery.

And then, he’d love it.

His family would hear him slam the door of the room they’d converted into his pottery studio (if only so he didn’t get thrown out of his apartment for the screaming), and would think fuck, here we go again.

And then he’d run into the room absolutely fucking coated in clay, beaming, carrying the bat (yes that’s what the thing you throw on is called) he’s been working with for the past two hours, with a teeny little cup on top.

“Got the bitch!”

“Language, master Jason.”

And then he’d let it dry, fire it, glaze it so carefully, so worried about fucking it up, and fire it again.

And it would come out looking like shit, because that’s just how life is when you glaze your first pot.

And Jason would lose his shit.

Considering writing a Dead on Main story where Danny is running a ceramics store in Gotham and Jason starts taking lessons from him because his siblings keep telling him to get a hobby

The cons of this however is that I am probably the only person who this would appeal to on concept alone and I need a constant stream of attention to survive

[greenglowinspooks]

Considering writing a Dead on Main story where Danny is running a ceramics store in Gotham and Jason starts taking lessons from him because his siblings keep telling him to get a hobby

The cons of this however is that I am probably the only person who this would appeal to on concept alone and I need a constant stream of attention to survive

[greenglowinspooks]

Bruce being so done with life because none of his kids treat their medical files on the batcomputer with the importance it deserves. And the worst part is, he can't tell if it's on purpose or if they're all Just Like That.

Dick:

He loves his eldest son but for some reason, he refuses to do anything but put down estimated recovery times in his injuries folder. It's usually in the range of "2 weeks" to "48 hours" but that just leaves Bruce worrying about what happened.

One time, he put down 3 months and he nearly had a heart attack till his son called and told him Kor'i had dumped him and that this was how long he was going to be wallowing.

Jason:

Is nice enough to tell him what happened but doesn't add the degree of injury.

So he'll put down "stabbed" but won't elaborate on whether it was a flesh wound or worse. Bruce goes grey very, very early after Jason is on the field.

Tim:

Gives him just the location of the injury and leaves him to guess what happened.

Could say "arm" or "back of the head" or, on one memorable occasion, "spleen", but won't say what the heck happened to any of those parts.

Was he stabbed?? Shot at?? Who knows. Certainly not Bruce.

Damian:

Only mentions the retribution he got for any injuries he received.

"It's been handled", "he'll never be able to get the drop on me again" and more often than not, just the word "avenged".

Bruce is surprised he has any of his original hair colour left at all.

Duke:

By far the worst one. He writes down injuries in terms of his own pain scale.

Could write "OW!" or "Not Gucci" or "Better than that time Jason hit me in the face with a TV remote".

Once wrote "Non-fatal" which sent Bruce into a spiral because "holy shit Duke?? What do you mean non-fatal?? Yeah I sure hope your injuries weren't lethal?!"

Cass:

Has never been injured on patrol. Often leaves him question marks in her file which...yeah, fair enough.

[greenglowinspooks]

i like the idea that bruce just shows up to league meetings with his birds with absolutely no explanation offered

i mean this man frequently stalks his coworkers and knows everything that's happening in their personal lives and i think he'd forget that HE is the weird one for doing it and not everybody automatically knows when he's acquired a new child

so he just shows up at the watchtower with a new bird and literally says nothing about it . just sits at his chair with the latest robin standing next to him and literally doesn't acknowledge that anything is different and it gets even more confusing when they change their costumes and names 😭

like

20-something bruce: and containing this may be a matter of-flash did you have a question

barry: uh. yeah. sorry, what is that?

20-something bruce: (glancing at 9 yr old dick who has been next to him for 45 minutes) that's robin. obviously. as i was saying,

-

early 30s bruce, who hasn't shown up with a robin for a few years, entering with a nightwing and a jason todd robin:

barry:

diana:

hal:

j'onn:

bruce: what.

hal:

hal: do you like clone them or

-

mid 30s bruce, quietly talking with a clearly-not-sixteen-years-old robin in the corner after being without one for two years:

hal:

diana:

barry:

j'onn:

clark:

bruce:

tim:

bruce: this one followed me

-

late 30s bruce zeta-beaming in with a nightwing, a slightly older robin, and an absolutely BUILT man in a red hood:

barry: did you hire a bodyguard

bruce: no.

barry: whos mr red over there

bruce: you don't remember my second one???

barry:

hal:

diana:

j'onn:

clark:

barry: did. did that one not die

jason: got better

-

later 30s bruce, quietly showing around a blonde robin:

hal:

bruce: don't ask.

hal: i didn't say anything

-

40 yr old bruce, making intense, unbroken eye contact with a black shadow:

clark, leaning over to talk to tim: what are they doing

tim, not looking up from his fancy ipad: do i look like i know that

-

red robin popping in unnanounced in the middle of a league meeting: batman is alive.

barry: who the FUCK are you???

-

batman, some minutes later, trailed by what is CLEARLY a new robin: did red robin happen to pass through here????

barry: i have several questions

-

no-longer-lost-in-the-time-stream bruce, talking to batgirl, black bat, and the signal:

hal: did you get three more.

bruce: no. just one.

hal: i shouldn't have asked, my bad

-

mid 40s bruce wayne, stepping out of the zeta tube: sorry i'm late

diana: not to worry. let's get start-

bruce: i have a few more coming behind me

zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀

jason: hi

cass: 👋

diana:

diana: ok should we st-

zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀

dick, holding damian like a scowling, sopping wet cat: bruce he's not feeling polite today

damian: HISSS

bruce: okay does he need to go back?

dick: he said he's fine but hes just not feeling polite

diana:

diana: is that the las-

zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀

steph: b i need a hair tie

diana:

diana: so can-

zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀

duke: b did i miss rolecall

diana: no, signal, you did not. let's-

zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀

tim: b alf is mad at you

bruce: why

hal: it's like a fucking clown car

steph: you didn't eat breakfast

tim: you didn't eat breakfast either

steph: shut.

damian: HISSSS

jason: wing. if you do not keep that brat quiet-

dick: hes a BABY!!!!!

duke: you didn't eat breakfast either, timothy

jason: hes a BITCH!!!!!

tim: who the fuck told you????

cass: :)

hal: (storming off, in tears), YOU HAVE TOO MANY CHILDREN.

[greenglowinspooks]

Ok. *Puts them in a corny, 90s anime romance scene in which Bruce helps Harvey come down from a rough dissociation/derealization episode by using sensory grounding.*

[greenglowinspooks]

Jason is trying his best to make him look vicious ; )'

[greenglowinspooks]

Also he microchipped Tim and it makes it really hard for them to sneak out together which sucks

Metas are not banned in Gotham because Batman hates metas. They are however banned because he thinks Kon made his son gay,

[greenglowinspooks]

He doesn’t actually have beef with Kori, Wally, or anyone else in his many sons’ harems, just with Kon. Kon hates him back just as much because he keeps fucking Clark while also refusing to put a name on their relationship, slowly killing him,

Metas are not banned in Gotham because Batman hates metas. They are however banned because he thinks Kon made his son gay,

[greenglowinspooks]

Metas are not banned in Gotham because Batman hates metas. They are however banned because he thinks Kon made his son gay,

[greenglowinspooks]

Jason using his guns as blunt weapons is so funny like imagine ur getting shot at by the Red Hood, he runs out of ammo, you think you have a chance and he just throws the fucking pistol at you

[greenglowinspooks]

Bruce and Talia in their on-off arc, where sometimes Jason would wake up and Talia was at the manor, they would play happy family for a couple of days before things went wrong again, Talia managed to fill up an entire album with pictures of the three of them, valentine's day, Jason's birthday, their skiing trip for the winter holidays – Dick went too, but refused to have a good time, he was just there to make sure Talia wasn't poisoning Jason's mind.

Talia later on re-created these moments with Jason and Damian, he was catatonic for some of the photos, but after she got Jason's stuff figured out it was all smooth sailing. So while on his murder tour, Jason had to go spend a week with his pseudo-mom and a five year old Damian, because she wanted to keep record of her boys growing up.

She has a album full of infant-toddler pictures of Jason and her, "mommy and me" style that he has no idea how she managed to get done.

[greenglowinspooks]

I don’t agree with bullfighting morally, but I’ve been looking at certain pictures of matadors and their poses for a couple of months…

[greenglowinspooks]

Top 10 middle aged men I would like to hear whimpering

BABY YOU ARE MY

ANGELLLLLLL

[greenglowinspooks]

BABY YOU ARE MY

ANGELLLLLLL

[greenglowinspooks]