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[greywitch]

THE DOUBLE 墨雨云间 │2024, Ep. 30

[greywitch]

ONLY LOVE CAN HURT LIKE THIS

C.C. idled beneath the tower as Kallen excused herself to use the bathroom. Her words lingered long after her footsteps and silhouette faded into the desert shadows. You sure you haven't made a habit of putting things off after living so long?

As she mulled over the response she never gave, the clanging of a metallic ladder--growing louder--interrupted her thoughts. She glanced over just in time to see Suzaku jump off the last two rungs onto the packed dirt, looking surprised.

"I have to say, C.C., I never thought I'd see you again."

C.C. smiled wryly. "Well, did you get everything off your chest?"

Suzaku had calmed considerably since they'd left the prison. If she had any concerns that he'd continue where he left off, they'd all but disappeared when she saw the softness with which he'd gazed upon Zero's unmasked face. The boy had already forgiven him--but that didn't necessarily extend to herself.

"I think so. Most of it anyway."

Suzaku still wasn't in the best shape, and it showed in the slow sauntering walk as he closed the distance between them. C.C. cast her gaze upward and caught the faint glow of Lelouch's PC as he paced and schemed. Even if she did want to speak to him, it would have to wait.

"What about you?"

C.C. blinked. Suzaku was a few steps away from her now, gazing at her curiously. "You must want to talk to him, after all the trouble you went through."

Assaulted by one and now the other. C.C. suppressed her chagrin as she offered Suzaku the same answer she'd given Kallen--silence. She turned toward the light, the festivities and familiar faces, in a clear gesture of disinterest.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Suzaku continued.

"About what?" C.C. was being difficult on purpose. Her hand came up to twirl her fingers in the ends of her hair as she watched Suzaku shake his head in her periphery.

"Come on. We're past that, aren't we? Shirley knew; so did Anya and Jeremiah, I heard." A pause. Suzaku lifted his head as if to check that Lelouch was still there, hadn't disappeared into the ether as he'd implied he could. "You could have told me."

Should have, seemed to be the unspoken sentiment. Yes, perhaps she should have, but she didn't because C.C. was a selfish creature who wasn't beholden to anyone.

"Could I?" she asked. She swung her head back toward him and held his inquisitive stare. Unlike the anger with which he'd initially greeted Lelouch, all she could see now was confusion and--perhaps--disappointment or something similar. "You thought you killed your best friend. And you did."

Suzaku had come to accept his actions long ago. He had grown; C.C. could see it though she could also see his jaw tighten and his body stiffen. "Lelouch was dead. There was nothing to tell. You could say it was a fool's errand."

Hopeless. C.C. was used to hopelessness and Sisyphean tasks. She had played many roles over the years, chameleon in nature, so it was not the physical demands of being Lelouch's caretaker that had worn on her. It was the fear. Fear only existed where there was hope. C.C. had no guarantees, not even Lelouch's blessing. Lelouch had never asked to live; C.C. had forced it upon him just as she had once bestowed him Geass in the hopes of ending her own meaningless existence. She had to endure this alone; it was her penance.

"You're just like him sometimes, you know. Don't know when to ask for help."

That made C.C. laugh. The light but somber breeze of her chuckle sat on the otherwise still air between them like a question followed by another: "Would you have helped me?"

Suzaku tilted his head to the side, thoughtful. His gaze shifted to the ground, the hint of a frown pulling at his brow. In the state that he was in immediately after the Zero Requiem, C.C. doubted he would have been capable of anything. Had he come to understand himself better in the intervening year?

"I don't know," he finally answered. "But I'm glad he's alive. So--thank you for that."

C.C. could count on one hand how many times she'd been thanked in the past century. Perhaps Suzaku was mocking her, but one look at his face and she could tell he was being genuine. "I didn't do it for you."

"I know. But still." Another beat of silence passed. Suzaku shifted his weight and pointed toward the party. As C.C. followed the direction of his finger, she caught Kallen having returned from her bathroom break now mingling with a crowd of Ohgi and other Black Knight members. "I'm going to get a drink. Want one? Looks like he's going to be up there for a while. And maybe you can tell me more about how he got here in the meantime."

C.C. was quiet as she considered his offer, feeling in his words a familiar strain of loneliness. It was a strange thing to be alone in a crowd. For a while, C.C. had sought solace in the Geass Order, and then Marianne. But everything was ephemeral, nothing lasted. Suzaku had forgiven her, it seemed, but had Lelouch?

Did Lelouch hate her? That question she'd often asked herself in the last moments of Zero Requiem now floated up in her mind again like ocean waste washing ashore. Well, it didn't matter. She had done this for herself, after all, her clinging to a promise he had made to her out of a moment of desperation. No one wanted to be alone, and C.C. was no exception. But Lelouch, at least, wasn't alone. He had returned to where he belonged, his friends and family, and it was time that C.C. did as well. Seeing him alive and happy was enough for her.

She leaned off the steel beam supporting her and walked toward her other once co-conspirator.

"What do you want to know?" she asked, content to pretend for the moment that she belonged in this scene of celebration and reunion.

[greywitch]

feeling like i wanna write a dissertation on lelouch’s name change not even bc i love it or think it’s brilliant but bc the themes have been referenced in the OG show and lelouch being different isn’t the same as him being out of character… there’s a difference between evolution/development/regression and being OOC/retconned because the former has narrative precedence and lead up whilst the latter doesn’t : )

[greywitch]

THE DOUBLE 墨雨云间 │2024

[greywitch]

c.c. and lelouch keeping on brand with their matching outfits in the new roze installment i’m emotional

they always have matching outfits i love them 😭

[greywitch]

hi, i love your work and your grasp of luluc!! not sure if you still check this blog, but if so, do you happen to have any fic recs for luluc in this day and age?

i do still check this blog!! every so often haha and thank you im so glad to hear that people are still finding and reading and enjoying my luluc works! i may not have the time/energy to write for them anymore but they will forever be my favs 💖 as for recs aaaahhh honestly so many of my recs are Old Fic but i will share in case anyone hasn't seen them before!

for one, you can check out any of my cg bookmarks on ao3 (there's not that many but still haha) i believe some of my bookmarks the authors have hidden the works to guests so would be best if you have an account

shiitsuu has a tag for fanfic, many written by eachainn (who also has an ao3 iirc!) that are 💯 and would highly recommend checking those out bc ive always loved eachainn's characterization of the trio 💞

one of my fav authors.... stripperzaku 🪦... unfortunately the account is gone BUT you can see some of her fics/snippets reblogged here on cluclufics, which also is a great account for browsing other tumblr luluc fics as they've archived/reblogged a lot!

obligatory mention of other boy by cat in my fridge on ff.net thats suzac and abandoned (🪦) BUT the characterization is top notch. if characterization is your bread and butter its 👌

now im going thru my other tumblr looking for fics ive reblogged in semi-recentish years haha and night calendar by greyempress-blog is a fav for sure.

i thinkkk thats about what i can rec without rly digging into my rly old ff.net bookmarks 😂 hope you found a fic u havent read before among these! 😊

[greywitch]

“You are making breakfast in every dream that I have of you. You are in the kitchen, your soft middle pressed up against the cold marble countertops like a vision too beautiful for the magazines, sprinkling dark chocolate chips over pancakes. I think for a brief second that I am dreaming inside of my dream, that I had to make you up twice, just to get it right. You, brushing your dark hair out of your face, smearing batter across your cheeks. You have come and made my dreams smaller, narrower. Filled them with sugar and your body humming in the same room as mine. I dream, now, of a normal life with you. A life where breakfast lasts until the sun goes down, until I have finished gazing at you from across the table, flour dried to your forehead like a kiss.”

— Caitlyn Siehl, Chocolate Chip Pancakes

[greywitch]

im amazed how many people continue to unearth this blog and trickle in despite it being inactive af i see y’all and i appreciate u

[greywitch]

happy new year to the person who just followed me and is liking a bunch of my posts

[greywitch]

thinkin about these kids again i hope they’re happy 🥺

[greywitch]

花樣年華 In the Mood for Love 2000｜directed by. Wong Kar-wai

[greywitch]

My name? Well then, if we want to take it from Lelouch Lamperouge, how does “L.L.” sound? Huh? No good?

[greywitch]

Even if I’m not here to stay I still want your heart Your heart for takeaway

[greywitch]

[greywitch]

i decided to do some otp questions bc i am inexplicably back on my bullshit lmao im answering a lot of them in post-re;surrection context 

who is the most affectionate? 

c.c., because she loves to tease the boy, but lelouch has his moments.

most common argument? 

probably something mundane, like what to eat for dinner.  (”not pizza, again.”)

who apologizes first?

they’re both pretty stubborn. it’s probably 50/50.

favorite (non-sexual) activity to do together?

hunting down and repossessing geass from those who don’t have the resolve 😎

who drives, and who rides shotgun?

c.c. drives; lelouch rides shotgun.

who is most likely to carry the other?

lelouch does not have the stamina to carry c.c. for long distances, but he’s way too prideful to be carried, so lelouch is more likely to carry c.c. but just for half a block or something.

nicknames?

c.c. @ lelouch: boy, L.L. sometimes lelouch @ c.c.: witch, pizza girl, her real name

who proposes? 

"my name? well, taking it from lelouch lamperouge, how does ‘L.L.’ sound?”

who sings along with the radio?

c.c.; lelouch hums on occasion.

who worries most?

who likes to playfully tease the other?

who has the weirdest taste in music?

c.c., she’s been alive long enough to enjoy a wide range.

who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

lelouch. (”not pizza, again.”)

who is embarrassed to take their clothes off in front of the other?

they’re beyond embarrassment at this point, but lelouch is probably the closest to it.

who tops?

c.c.

who initiates kisses?

c.c., but lelouch eventually starts initiating more.

who reaches for the other’s hand first?

lelouch.

who kisses hardest?

c.c.

who is most ticklish?

lelouch.

who holds the umbrella for the other when it’s raining?

lelouch.

who tries to playfully embarrass the other in public?

who kills the scary bugs?

they take turns. lelouch is the more disgusted one.

who asks the weird questions at random in the middle of the night?

lelouch. he likes to wax philosophical and listen to himself talk.

who hogs the blankets?

c.c.

who wakes up first?

lelouch.

who wants to stay in bed just a bit longer?

c.c.

who always makes coffee for the other each morning?

lelouch.

who gets scared during horror films?

lelouch doesn’t like jump scares.

who cuts the other’s hair?

lelouch.

who says “i love you” first?

honestly, neither. they always find other ways and gestures to say it.

what do their friends/family think of the relationship? 

who is more likely to ask the other to dance with them?

c.c.

who cooks best?

it’s a toss-up, but since lelouch cooks well, c.c. never does it.

who wears the other’s jacket?

c.c.

who uses cheesy pickup lines?

lelouch when he’s trying to suave it up to other women in order to gather intel. c.c. thinks it’s hilarious and doesn’t understand how anyone could fall for it.

who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

who makes the other laugh most?

lelouch.

who would have to bail the other out of jail?

c.c.

what do they do when they’re away from each other?

c.c.: eating, sleeping, chilling; lelouch: planning their next heist.

a headcanon about them that stabs your feels?

lelouch still struggles with his incomplete code sometimes.

a headcanon that mends the previous one? 

they visit their friends and family yearly.

[greywitch]

Lelouch and C.C. dashboard headers, for project-cluclu. ♡

[greywitch]

this tweet reminds me of luluc 🥺😭