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i wish i could hate elvis presley as much as i ate the beatles but man. that 50s rock n roll has got me dancing around in a way the beatles will never do for me. also i hate thr fucking beatles more than one can imagine. i seethe

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johndave once again

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Me, thinking about Jade and Jane all day. Specifically how they both share problems with building resentment against the people they love the most. Not willing to communicate out of fear of change and losing control. Hastily covering up or pushing down any sort of negative feelings (confusion, disappointment, anger) because they are too ugly to be valid. Feeling you have to be better than your worse self, leading to repression. Failure of false expectations. Feeling like you’ve been looked over or tossed to the side. Neglecting your own emotional state while overextending to support others. Not allowing yourself to recognize when certain dynamics have gone toxic because you’re both good people so it must be you just aren’t trying hard enough,

Also me, inevitably later tonight, when I’m sitting in bed and am faced with the crushing realization that no matter how much subtextual evidence I build there’s a good chance all of this is just me projecting and none of this nuance was intentionally written,

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i haven’t written much analysis on Jane and that is a federal crime that must be corrected immediately

Why Jane Crocker’s Role As A Villain In HS^2 Doesn’t Fit With Her Character At All: A Long Winded Essay I Wrote In The Middle Of Multiple Work Shifts

Warning for discussion of sexual objectification, grooming, abuse, and sexual assault/harassment.

Jane, much like Dirk, is a victim. She was born and raised to be the heiress of the Condesce and groomed to be the owner of Crockercorp. Her Crockercorp tiara/headband thingy brainwashed her into obeying the Condesce. She was an antagonist, but only briefly, and it was not of her own volition. She has been groomed by adults, excessively sexualized by her peers, and brainwashed into doing things she never would have done normally.

As a villain in HS^2, her main acts of villainy include a) sexually assaulting her husband, which is something she threatened to do when she was brainwashed, b) having sex with an underage troll (Gamzee, who at the time was about 16 due to Retcon Hijinks), c) abusing/neglecting her son, and d) literally trying to commit genocide on all of trollkind. Most of this is limited to the Candy timeline, but her racism against trolls is consistent through both Candy and Meat.

I’m going to address the troll racism first because it’s her biggest role in the plot of the epilogues. The long and short of it is, she just. hates trolls. She just fucking hates them. I don’t even know why. She calls them “rats” and “insects” and insults their entire species, and for WHY. FOR WHY. There is no explicit reason given as to why she hates them. At all. It’s never explained. Even if they did try to come up with an explanation for it, it wouldn’t land. Jane is not like that. She’s not the type of person to hate an entire species for no reason! She cares so deeply for her friends, and while she can’t always understand why they do the things they do, she doesn’t give up on them. She fought alongside the trolls in the final battle. She trusts them, she cares about them, so her hating their entire species is complete bullshit and extremely out of character.

As for her sexual harassment, god I could write a whole nother essay about how sexuality is used in a misogynistic way in the epilogues in order to turn Jade and Jane into antagonists, but for now I’m focusing on Jane. In HS Proper, Jane is constantly objectified by her peers. The only time we see a reaction to this is when Caliborn is talking to her and her reaction is extremely negative. We don’t know what she thinks of Dave and Jasprose calling her hot because we don’t see her reaction to that, but Caliborn’s comments were vulgar and excessive, so in general, it’s safe to say that she doesn’t like being objectified, especially not to that extent. Hearing that kind of shit when you’re young can be unsettling at best and traumatizing at worst. It’s possible that Jane has some kind of sexual trauma due to constant objectification, but that’s up for interpretation.

The writers making Jane someone who sexually assaults and harasses her husband and troll side-piece (god i fucking hate jane/gamzee) is incredibly insensitive. I see parts of myself in Jane, encountering sexual comments and stuff when you’re not ready for it. They could have made Jane a sexual character if they wanted to; it could have been a way to reclaim her bodily autonomy and participate in sexual things on her own terms. But they shouldn’t have just made her a “sexy milf” and used misogynistic stereotypes and had her abuse her husband just because they wanted a character to mess with. It’s insensitive and terrible and I hate it.

As for the abuse of her kid… this one could have been interesting if they wrote it right. Homestuck Proper is primarily focused on kids and the failings of the adult figures in their lives. All of the antagonists are adults, and multiple kids are traumatized because of their parents/parental figures. The writers could have kept up with that theme by focusing on the younger generation in the Candy epilogue. That would have been so cool! If Jane had neglected her kid, whether intentionally or without meaning to, it would have been such an interesting commentary on the cycle of abuse and how it only stops when someone actively realizes that there is a cycle and chooses to stop it. Seeing that through the eyes of Tavros Crocker would have been so fucking cool. The writers had something interesting set up and they completely fumbled it.

In conclusion, fuck the post-canon writers for messing up my girl like that. She deserves better.

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Jane Crocker: she is literally the best character best-written character just listen to me

Jane Crocker is more than just a happy-go-lucky 'mom-friend'. In an internet telephone game, we've distorted her character into something that vaguely resembles her actual self. But I, the well-endowed (in more ways than one) am fully prepared to deconstruct her. i am so smat

CW: I talk about sexual assault and misogyny

summers back, ill likely be posting more too :D

Let's start out with the basics, the universal constants of Jane in every interpretation of her, the shit spoon-feed to us: in other words, the first dimension of a character. I'm talking about her appearance and traits.

She's cheery but has a short temper, loves pranks and baking, and was raised in arguably the most constructive setting. Her feet are stuck in the hardened concrete of her morals, beliefs, and view of the world.

She meets every claim with distrust until hard evidence is apparent unless the claim was something she was raised in. Ideas of time travel, the world ending and conspiracies are shot down while she embraces her role as the future Betty-Crocker heiress. Even her hobbies, baking and sleuthing, come from her dad.

She plays the support role, listening to her friends' problems and trying her best to empathize even when it hurts her.

Now that we have that base, we can build on it. Hussie chose to expand on her character in two ways: Trickster Mode and Crockertier.

Trickster Mode is ultimately self-serving; the objective is to have fun and let go. The Alpha Kids (sans Dirk) bounced off the walls in euphoria, minds reduced to love, sex, and fun. Jane tries to resist the lollipop at first but gives in. Previously, she tried to shove down her feelings for Jake but gave in once she reached Trickster Mode. Even though she's ecstatic, this is her breaking point. It's also where everything she wants comes to light. Her empathy and desire to please others are moot.

She ignores Jake's fear, uneasiness, and desire to not fuck nasty and make babies and tricksters him. All after she kicks him in the balls so hard his eyes fall off and he falls off a cliff. Her empathy, one of her most defining characteristics is gone. Don't get me wrong, tricksterization isn't an empathy-remover. It's a dopamine rush that removes any obstacles one might have in front of short-term happiness.

Jane's empathy was holding her back. One of her most positive traits is also her greatest foil. We also see some of her other character traits. Trickster mode doesn't implant desires. Trickster mode doesn't make people want things they wouldn't normally want. Roxy puts it better than I do.

"TG: sure you were trippin balls on a cherub pop TG: but that really just enabled you to do what you really wanted to do deep down "

She pushed her friends to do something they didn't want in a self-centered fuckfest. Specifically, sexual things.

One could make the argument that it was only her lack of empathy during trickster mode that caused her to do be so pushy, that it was nothing but a self-centered blunder in the same way that Jane's infamous comment on Roxy's alcoholism. One could not make this argument with Crockertier in mind.

If you need a refresher, while mind controlled by The Condesce (AKA Crockertier'd), Jane kidnapped Jake for the purpose of having babies with him (sexy sex), regardless of the fact that he's shitting himself at the idea. This wasn't her just being a cold, emotionless robot. Crockertier Jane was fully capable of feeling empathy. Her death was caused because she let her guard down while grieving Roxy. This was also a desire that cropped up multiple times. She was also Crockertier'd, AKA controlled by the Condece, an alien who lived in a culture where people hate-fucked all the time. Jane was pissed at a friend she wanted to bang. Shit happens.

Please keep in mind that while her empathy was still present in her Crockertier state, it was considerably dimmed. She had nothing against fighting her friends and killing innocents. Please also keep in mind that she still wants to do this. She has forced Jake into a sexual situation he did not want multiple times.

To sum it up, Jane's empathy is the only thing keeping her from doing shit to Jake. Her empathy is a powerful and prominent characteristic, but she still wants to "have babies" with Jake. She doesn't care that he's shitting himself at the idea. If there was an AU where Jane was not empathetic and more confident in her herself, then her other morals would not get in the way of her sexually assaulting Jake, or being an asshole. But that is not Jane. Normal-Jane cares deeply for other people and would never do what she did in Trickster Mode (FYI i have not read the epilogues and do not plan to). She would never do something like that normally but is still a dim desire.

(Also also note that you can interpret her character in whatever way you want. Throw my interpretation in that poor Chinese dude's soup or print it out and hang it on your wall. If you read this and decide that Jane is a shitty person, go the fuck ahead. If you read this and think that she's cool, do that too.)

Boom. Full understanding of her conflicting traits. Second dimension unlocked. Cowa-fucking-bunga, dudes.

But why is Jane? Why does she like baking and hot fish ladies? Why does she care so much about others' emotions? The answer is actually kinda boring.

If we compare her childhood to the other characters, it was a lot safer and kinder. She had a good relationship with her dad and never had to face any hint of insecurity about her skills or where she'd end up. She was a future CEO, for cock's sake. Even John, our patron spoiled kid, had a distant father figure who he hated.

Jane was affected by how she was raised just as much as every other character was. She likes baking and sleuthing. Her dad was a private investigator and she was the heir to a pastry company. She's hesitant to accept things that challenge her environment because her personality revolves around it.

One thing that separates her from most of the cast is that she was raised in a standard American Earth home. And she reflected the values of Earth. America says that if you're a woman you must be a mother. Jane practically mothers her friends (as best she can, not well because she is not a mother and is in fact sixteen). In trickster mode, she never said she wanted to sex her male friends up. She said that she wanted to have babies with them.

I still think her desire to get fucking and sucking significantly drove her actions and she censored them because that's not how women in America are supposed to act. Babies were, again, also a factor because of misogyny.

She's heir to a capitalist company that plans to destroy the environment for personal gain. She abstains from swearing like a conservative. She speaks like she's in the 1950s, a time when the American Dream was first introduced and was booming.

Her values work around it. Subconsciously, of course. She's not a crazy alt-right loser. She believes in the patriarchy and that women need to make babies. She puts herself down to help Jake because she believes that is her role as a woman. When Dirk is suggested to be "a homosexual" she acts defensive, like it's an insult - almost as if somewhere deep in her psyche she isn't too fond of gay people. I don't think she's even aware that she's not a good ally. Firstly, she never says that she thinks gay people are gross as if that's a core way she views the world, and a lot of biases are subconscious.

Now I think we can define the second and third dimensions of her character.

Her second dimension is being raised in a conservative environment that was still supportive (if you ignore the Betty Crocker mind control tiara). She's naive because of it. She has republican values and southern hospitality (despite being in fucking Washington) because of it.

Her second dimension is also how she grows past these traits. She grows past her naïveté and skepticism towards things that contrast with her upbringing after being thrust into SBURB, because that world isn't there anymore. She learns to put herself first, or at least somewhere up from last after she realizes that people will treat her like shit if she doesn't stop them.

Dimension three is her morals.

I've already said them, but I can also arrange them nicely.

Jane would never say things like gayness and other things like that are lesser. She would disagree shit like conversion therapy. Still, she still views being gay as something below everyone else. Not by much, but enough to be noticeable. She's probably slightly more uncomfortable with gay relationships than straight ones.

She's a capitalist. I don't need to back this one up. She would see it as immoral to be lazy.

Jane has the subconscious bias that women have to be subservient to men and have babies. She would view it as immoral for her to act towards Dirk and Jake as they act towards her, and to not have kids. Her conversations with Roxy, especially in the beginning of the comic, are much less polite. She's not rude, but she doesn't skirt around saying things that aren't positive (or she might? I've definitely forgotten some of those pesterlogs) around roxy.

She's very altruistic. She views putting others before herself as the moral thing to do. This changes over time, and is her main character development thing.

Haha and please dont use this as actual definitions of one two and three dimensional characters, im not sure what I used is the correct terminology. and please please please if you disagree abt Jane please let me know, I really want to further this discussion!!

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me personally

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wtf

the strilondes go family shopping for bad pride shirts while dirk cries

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stop hogging the FUCKING vape

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cant forget cotton candy either

gonna be honest? my favorite thing about homestuck is the ship names. les8ifins, ghoulfronds, hammertime, katnep/catnip like.... theres so many good ones

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jirck.....

gonna be honest? my favorite thing about homestuck is the ship names. les8ifins, ghoulfronds, hammertime, katnep/catnip like.... theres so many good ones

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gonna be honest? my favorite thing about homestuck is the ship names. les8ifins, ghoulfronds, hammertime, katnep/catnip like.... theres so many good ones

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i thought about them again hi

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noooo karkat don't become overwhelmed with how much love is in the room at your birthday party!!!! That's out of character!!!!!!

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alpha dave is like an uncle to me

that man cannot raise a child but he sure as hell can be an irresponsible role model

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dirkjohn ur honor

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