guerrillamydreams

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The old is catching up with me very quickly these days.

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i'm a gonna flick that clit like i'm king kong

Wh…does…did he do that…?

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they always make studio ghibli food look so delicious

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youve heard of 'california sober'.. get ready for 'portland monogamous'

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I once worked with a guy who was so uptight he was practically a caricature. One of our co-workers teased him about it and set me up to deliver one of my favorite "add-on" digs I've ever thought up. That's always been one of my talents, actually, and why I love "tossing the gag around," so to speak. The funny gets funnier as each person adds another layer.

For example, when one buddy told another that he "didn't have to lie to make friends," I added a simple, "yeah, he does." That was too easy, though, since it's just being contradictory. Fun in the moment, but nothing to be truly proud of.

I was especially pleased with myself, though, when I heard that the uptight guy was "the kind of guy who gets out of the shower to piss," and I added, "and washes his hands before he gets back in."

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One of my more radical beliefs is that everyone, regardless of occupation, should be required to take a first aid course at some point in their adult life so that, even if you don’t keep up the cert, if someone says to you “My chest has been really hurting and I’ve been having trouble breathing I think I’m gonna lay down for a bit” your hindbrain kicks in and you say “That’s a bad idea. We’re going to the ER.”

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Looks like I may have to kinkshame Inspirobot now. 😥

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so lately, i’ve been interning at this immediate medical center and today was really slow, so i was looking through one of their medical illustration books in the work area. one section threw me off and i hAD TO DO A DOUBLE TAKE???

i mean!!! this is a totally legIT MEDICAL ILLUSTRATION BOOK i’m talking about, and then sUDDENLY, i’m looking at an illustration of a nAKED MAN, CHEST DOWN, FACE SMILING, STEAM RISING, GETTING MONEY ***STACKED ONTO THE LUMBAR REGION*** OF HIS BODY AND??? THE ILLUSTRATOR MADE IT CLEAR THAT THEY WERE $100 BILLS????? AND THERE ARE PROBABLY MORE BILLS COMING FROM THOSE FLOATING HANDS??? I MEAN??????????

tAKE A CLOSER LOOK AT THIS AMAZING MEDICAL ILLUSTRATION

(general close up, like, woah)

(look at hIM, HE LOOKS SO!!!)

(booty had me like, “butt still, is this a high-end rear end strip club?”)

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There are a lot of great things in life. Getting head while you're high has got to be pretty close to the top of that list, if it isn't actually there already.

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I'm going to be a Bigfoot sighting when I grow up.

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