gunpowderless-tim

[gunpowderless-tim]

SALAMI >:(

Salami salami, salami salami salami salami salami.

Salami? Salami.

salami! salami is the answer to everything trust me

[gunpowderless-tim]

salami

salami?

salami.

@gunpowderless-tim salami?

[gunpowderless-tim]

(hi tim. hands you the local teenage intern.)

“Hey, uh, Mr. Stoker? Was it? Are you up for anything from the café? Martin is going out and I’ve been sent to get the orders.”

He seems a tad tentative, twirling a strand of his hair on his pointer finger. He stands firm in the doorway.

— @forallthoseweary (hi mod you probably dont remember me but i was that One asker from forever ago that sees tim as a brother figure ^_^ collecting all the tim blogs atm and i finally got to YOURS!)

Tim glances up from the dead-end statement he was reading through, a small grin on his face. “The café? I think I’m good, but thanks, kiddo,” he declines, pen tapping against the desk idly.

He leans back in his chair, stretching for a moment before speaking up again. “Ah, wait, yeah— think you can grab me a biscuit if there’s any there?”

[gunpowderless-tim]

throws gunpowder at you

what the hell man why would you do that

[gunpowderless-tim]

“Hey, Jon?” He begins, arms full of paperwork as he maneuvers around the half open door. “I’ve got that—”

His words are abruptly cut off when his eyes land on the child staring up at him. He blinks, as if what he sees deceives him, but no. That��s definitely a child. In the Archives. That looks strangely familiar. Fuck, should he tell somebody? No, no. Deal with the kid first.

He sits the paperwork down on a chair, crouching down to the child’s— how old is this kid? Eight, maybe nine?— level, inclining his head. “Hi, bud. I don’t think you’re supposed to be in here. Could you tell me your name?”

*makes you tiny and hands you to the nearest other archive assistant *

Excuse me? Do not-

*Jon is now smaller, seeming eight or nine years old. He was on the ground, studying the new environment around him as he noticed someone entering the room.*

( @gunpowderless-tim (//you're nearest archive assistant sooo))

[gunpowderless-tim]

Headed to band camp gang!! RP replies will slow down/cease until I’m out!! If you dm me I’ll probably respond or send an ask I can reply to with little to no thought process because I cannot think in the heat

anyways reblogging to all my main blogs

!! I WILL TRY TO GET TO STUFF IM SORRY BTW !!

[gunpowderless-tim]

[guy from work (whore)] I. forgot about that leave me alone Im a dumbadd

[guy from work (whore)] dumbass*

[guy from work (whore)] keybaords are stupid

[guy from work (whore)] also yes to both Space Pirates and CaH I think it would kill Jon

[guy from work (whore)] it would be so funny

[guy from work (whore)] also also your not jenga thing sounds fun!!!

[private enemy #1] just bought this cool tower building game

[private enemy #1] forgot to read the box

[private enemy #1] it’s 3-6 players

[private enemy #1] want to invite Martin on Friday?

[guy from work (whore)] yeah!! also I invited Jon hope thats okay

[guy from work (whore)] also. do you mean Jenga. is that what youre talking about

{{ @its-sasha-james }}

[gunpowderless-tim]

[private enemy #1] just bought this cool tower building game

[private enemy #1] forgot to read the box

[private enemy #1] it’s 3-6 players

[private enemy #1] want to invite Martin on Friday?

[guy from work (whore)] yeah!! also I invited Jon hope thats okay

[guy from work (whore)] also. do you mean Jenga. is that what youre talking about

{{ @its-sasha-james }}

[gunpowderless-tim]

[Tim (Work)] shes probably fine with it!! having new players is awesome

[Tim (Work)] this Friday when we get off, Sasha’s place :D<

(7) new messages from [Tim (Work)]

[Tim (Work)] JOn

[Tim (Work)] JONATHAN FUCKING SIMS

[Tim (Work)] YOURE JONNY DVILLE

[Tim (Work)] THERES NO FUCKING WAY

[Tim (Work)] YOURE. MOTHER FUCK

[Tim (Work)] JON. YOURE A FUCKING MECH OH MY GOD

[Tim (Work)] I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS

[jonny boy] oh.

[jonny boy] How did you find out?

[jonny boy] I can explain myself?

@gunpowderless-tim

[gunpowderless-tim]

[Tim (Work)] yeah!! great

[Tim (Work)] Sash and I have game night coming up if you wanna join?

[Tim (Work) changed jonny boy’s contact to first mate (liar by omission)]

[Tim (Work)] always fun to have more players

(7) new messages from [Tim (Work)]

[Tim (Work)] JOn

[Tim (Work)] JONATHAN FUCKING SIMS

[Tim (Work)] YOURE JONNY DVILLE

[Tim (Work)] THERES NO FUCKING WAY

[Tim (Work)] YOURE. MOTHER FUCK

[Tim (Work)] JON. YOURE A FUCKING MECH OH MY GOD

[Tim (Work)] I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS

[jonny boy] oh.

[jonny boy] How did you find out?

[jonny boy] I can explain myself?

@gunpowderless-tim

[gunpowderless-tim]

IM JOKING IM JOKING IM NOT SERIOUS I SWEAR IM JOKING

THIS ALSO DOESNT INCLUDE THE CHILD ITS JUST JON MARTIN WEIRD BOSS AND SASHA

tim has definitely put the entire archival team on a hear me out cake

[gunpowderless-tim]

it’s a hear me out cake for a reason

tim has definitely put the entire archival team on a hear me out cake

[gunpowderless-tim]

[Tim (Work)] Im sorry I just. you are one of the most stuck up people I know Jon

[Tim (Work)] it is just very difficult to grasp that you were an immortal space pirate who has done every crime ever

[Tim (Work)] we need to hang out outside of work more I cant believe ttjis

[Tim (Work)] not because of the mechs thing just because like. I need to see you not being formal I think thatd be great

(7) new messages from [Tim (Work)]

[Tim (Work)] JOn

[Tim (Work)] JONATHAN FUCKING SIMS

[Tim (Work)] YOURE JONNY DVILLE

[Tim (Work)] THERES NO FUCKING WAY

[Tim (Work)] YOURE. MOTHER FUCK

[Tim (Work)] JON. YOURE A FUCKING MECH OH MY GOD

[Tim (Work)] I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS

[jonny boy] oh.

[jonny boy] How did you find out?

[jonny boy] I can explain myself?

@gunpowderless-tim

[gunpowderless-tim]

no comment

tim has definitely put the entire archival team on a hear me out cake

[gunpowderless-tim]

[Tim (Work)] apparently???

[Tim (Work)] she posted about it I think

[Tim (Work)] but that is NOT the point here

[Tim (Work)] I cannot believe you were that cool in your uni days. oh my god

[Tim (Work)] hdjdgsjdg youre. I cant even comprehend this

(7) new messages from [Tim (Work)]

[Tim (Work)] JOn

[Tim (Work)] JONATHAN FUCKING SIMS

[Tim (Work)] YOURE JONNY DVILLE

[Tim (Work)] THERES NO FUCKING WAY

[Tim (Work)] YOURE. MOTHER FUCK

[Tim (Work)] JON. YOURE A FUCKING MECH OH MY GOD

[Tim (Work)] I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS

[jonny boy] oh.

[jonny boy] How did you find out?

[jonny boy] I can explain myself?

@gunpowderless-tim

[gunpowderless-tim]

[Tim (Work)] TGAT DOES NOT MATTER

[Tim (Work)] HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS

[Tim (Work)] oh my god Jon. youre a fucking mech. Sasha KNEW and did not tell me. all of you are evil and cruel

(7) new messages from [Tim (Work)]

[Tim (Work)] JOn

[Tim (Work)] JONATHAN FUCKING SIMS

[Tim (Work)] YOURE JONNY DVILLE

[Tim (Work)] THERES NO FUCKING WAY

[Tim (Work)] YOURE. MOTHER FUCK

[Tim (Work)] JON. YOURE A FUCKING MECH OH MY GOD

[Tim (Work)] I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS

[jonny boy] oh.

[jonny boy] How did you find out?

[jonny boy] I can explain myself?

@gunpowderless-tim

[gunpowderless-tim]

the fact that you knew and didnt tell me is cruel and unusual

@gunpowderless-tim just found out he knows the mechs’ first mate and it’s like watching a dog and a mirror