gymstories
Gym Stories
The gym is a funky place!
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Dry Times
Noticed lots of signs up a couple of weeks ago that the pool/sauna area was going to be closed for renovations. Upon further inquiry, they are tearing down and rebuilding the whole wet area. There won't be any new features added, it'll just look like it's new. The wet looked fine as it was, and it's not like this is [luxury] gym so I'm not sure of the reason for this travesty...I bet it's because of those hobgoblins that have been going into the sauna with their shoes on. UPDATE: I was at the gym today and they weren't just trolling us members -- the wet area is actually closed. Now I have to actually work out...Ugh
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Is He Not Entertained?
The gym is pretty boring which is why I completely understand this dude that walked into the weight room earlier today with over-the-ear headphones, a large smartphone, and a 14" tablet. It has to be this way...How else would he be able to get the full cinematic experience of "The Dark Knight" in between sets of tricep curls?
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Bag Lady
If the machines at the gym are not enough workout for you, you can be like the lady that lugs a gigantic bag around the gym with her. I looked up from my stretching there was the bag under her neck, supporting her head as she did crunches. Later on, she had it next to her while using the treadmill. Sure she looks weird carrying all her stuff around like a hobo, but the jokes on us because since she's been lifting that heavy bag all morning, she can skip out on the weight room altogether. As a bonus, she's fully prepared to camp-down in that cozy corner near the elliptical machines any time she pleases.
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Steamed Socks
Upon noticing numerous signs reminding people that shoes and socks are prohibited in the sauna and steam rooms, my immediate thought was: "What kind of person wears socks in a sauna?" Well, today while I was swimming I looked up and saw a guy walk into the pool area wearing a suede track suit! Not being a bloody visigoth, though, he took off his shoes and socks before entering the sauna. Good man. Post-swim, however, I was sweating in the sauna and another dude walks in wearing shorts, t-shirt, and socks! WTF?!? This rule-breaker sits right down, puts in a pair of ear-buds, and starts looking at his phone. In the sauna! All us civilized bare-foot guys could hear his music, too. #smh p.s. - It was EDM.
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Getting-Dressed Playlist
There was me and another guy getting dressed in the same part of the locker room. I was sitting on the bench putting my socks on. He was standing on a towel, completely naked, fiddling with his clothes. Then I hear behind me: "Okay, Google: Play 'While My Guitar Gently Weeps'". The song began to play and he began getting dressed. #bestgymever
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Come at me, bro!
A couple of days ago, I was walking into the stretching room of my gym and this skinny guy with stringy hair almost bumped into me because he was distracted by two girls in yoga pants. In order to avoid a collision I gently laid a hand on his shoulder to alert him of my presence. As soon as he felt my touch his head snapped towards me and his eyes bulged. Even after I said excuse me, he kept looking at me like he might fight me. Then he processed the moment and moved on. Wise move, brozilla!
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New Gym
I just joined a new gym (it's open 24 hours a day). It is less luxurious than my old gym, but also half the price. The first time I went there, the steam room was broken. The second time they were out of towels. The third time, I started noticing that it's filled with a bunch of weirdos. Part of my fee must go toward supporting this form of avant-garde entertainment.
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