gynefiles

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Alfred Kinsey was a pedophile who went on to study & gauge "child orgasms" by hiring pedophiles to rape them and died out of the complications of hanging himself by its testicles so there's no way I'm ever going to take anything this psychopath came out with and I'm legitimately confused whenever I see people rehashing his stupid sexual orientation scale theory

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it's not "play", it's abuse

hey what the fuck

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Réponse de femmes: Notre corps, notre sexe (Short) | Agnes Varda | 1975

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ready for the field of gynecology to stop acting like infertility is the worst part of having endometriosis

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lesbians we need to start killing people

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If anyone’s worried about the incel movement in the West, by the way - here is what’s starting to happen in India and China, where men vastly outnumber women and millions of men are about to discover they’ll never get married. 

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Are you a TERF?

I’ve gotten so fed up with the dick grubbing that passes for feminism these days that I want nothing to do with feminism anymore, yet for some reason I’m still getting asked this. So here’s what I’m going to say about it. This overzealous labeling of women who care about their own as “terfs” and subsequent frenzied blacklisting of them (i.e. don’t talk to X, she is a terf!) is some mindblowing stupidity at levels so irrational I could do little but laugh pretty hard if I were to witness this in real life.

The sole purpose of “terf” accusations is to determine who has male supremacist interests at heart and who doesn’t–that is exactly what it is, nothing more and nothing less. These fuckasses go on about “trans-exclusionary radical feminism” as if the entire foundation of some woman’s politics is about transwomen, excluding them, oppressing them, hating them, whatever; and not about eliminating misogyny…which is based on being of the female sex, but even recognising that fact gets you on the terf list. The genderists' politics are based on pandering to male egos, male delusions, male entitlements, and male privileges. It’s a bizarre cult of male worship that hates women who love themselves enough to put themselves first.

Try an experiment. Paint a dick, write a poem that glorifies the male body, sing the song of (hetero)sexual desire for men. Then paint a vulva to celebrate the female body, write a poem that praises female strength in the face of violence and oppression targeted at the female body, sing a song about lesbian desire for women. See whose body is acceptable to celebrate and whose body gets told is offensive and should be censored. See whose sexuality is respected and whose is vilified. You do that, then tell me with a straight face that genderism isn’t male worship.

So how about you take “terf,” write it on a piece of paper, and shove it so far up your ass it comes out of your mouth? That’s what I think of this stupid as fuck question. Now get off my blog.

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the girls on twitter ignoring their buddy making fun of the oppression of women under islam... it gets worse by the day!

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no offence but literally no one gives a fuck if you don’t feel included, sometimes certain spaces need to practice exclusion, this is not oppression and if it makes you feel invalidated then that’s a personal problem you must deal with

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Eldest daughters, arent you tired of de escalating? Dont you just wanna go ape shit?

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Hey sorry to bug but I’ve heard you moved here from Twitter because’it got weird’ and o guess I was wondering what that means? I don’t use Twitter but it’s definitely been a passing thought of consideration

a lot of petty infighting and drama but also a lot of lesbophobia. people making fun of a lesbian couple's miscarriage cause they didn't like them. people saying separatists are just like MRA's and want to force straight women away from their families. someone made a "gossip account" and it devolved into disgusting lesbophobia (calling lesbians carpet munchers and "just as abusive as men") within hours. what could have been an interesting discussion abt radical feminism vs personal relationships with men turned into jokes about "daddy issues" and essentially making fun of those fatherless dykes.

this is just a few of the things i saw over there but yeah when i say it's bad it is bad.

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was chatting with my mom yesterday about how unfair it is that taxation in most countries heavily favors families and how that places a lot pressure on women since we are forced to shoulder the majority of the burden of reproductive labor. and it made me realize how the structure of society itself puts pressure on women to have kids. bc we Need people to have kids in order to avoid having an aging society and all the problems that come with that. but the burden of creating, gestating, birthing and raising these new generations falls almost exclusively on women. there is no way for women to stop having kids without society falling apart. modern society is built on women's suffering and on the exploitation of women's reproductive labor

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as we all know women are to blame for every single bad thing ever

The way that white men have the reputation of "lovable doofus" on this site while I see at least three posts per day about how white women are the "architects of racism" and the "most brutal weapon of white supremacy". Literally how did this happen. It's white boy summer this white boy wednesday that. Meanwhile white women are mustache twirling supervillains who are so horrifically scheming and malicious that every single instance of emotion is faked to achieve some sort of nefarious goal. But everyone loves white men. They can't get enough of white men

like….. its just so fucking ridiculous

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“A new UN report has found at least 90% of men and women hold some sort of bias against females.

The “Gender Social Norms” index analysed biases in areas such as politics and education in 75 countries.

Globally, close to 50% of men said they had more right to a job than women. Almost a third of respondents thought it was acceptable for men to hit their partners.

There are no countries in the world with gender equality, the study found.”

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“The more psychotherapy an abusive man has participated in, the more impossible I usually find it is to work with him.

 The highly “therapized” abuser tends to be slick, condescending, and manipulative. He uses the psychological concepts

he has learned to dissect his partner’s flaws and dismiss her perceptions of abuse. He takes responsibility for nothing that he does; he moves in a world where there are only unfortunate dynamics, miscommunications, symbolic acts. He expects to be rewarded for his emotional openness, handled gingerly because of his “vulnerability,” colluded with in skirting the damage he has done, and congratulated for his insight.  Many years ago, a violent abuser in my program shared the following with us: “From working in therapy on my issues about anger toward my mother, I realized that when I punched my wife, it wasn’t really her I was hitting. It was my mother!” He sat back, ready for us to express our approval of his self-awareness. My colleague

peered through his glasses at the man, unimpressed by this revelation. “No,” he said, “you were hitting your wife.”

 I have yet to meet an abuser who has made any meaningful and lasting changes in his behavior toward female partners through therapy, regardless of how much “insight”—most of it false—that he may have gained. The fact is that if an abuser finds a particularly skilled therapist and if the therapy is especially successful, when he is finished he will be a happy, well-adjusted abuser—good news for him, perhaps, but not such good news for his partner. Psychotherapy can be very valuable for the issues it is devised to address, but partner abuse is not one of them; an abusive man needs to be in a specialized program.

Therapy focuses on the man’s feelings and gives him empathy and support, no matter how unreasonable the attitudes that are giving rise to those feelings. An abusive man’s therapist usually will not speak to the abused woman, whereas the counselor of a high-quality abuser program always does.

 Therapy typically will not address any of the central causes of abusiveness, including entitlement, coercive control, disrespect, superiority, selfishness, or victim blaming.

 It is also impossible to persuade an abusive man to change by convincing him that he would benefit from it, because he perceives the benefits of controlling his partner as vastly outweighing the losses. This is part of why so many men initially take steps to change their abusive behavior but then return to their old ways. There is another reason why appealing to his self-interest doesn’t work: The abusive man’s belief that his own needs should come ahead of his partner’s is at the core of his problem.

 Therefore when anyone, including therapists, tells an abusive man that he should change because that’s what’s best for him, they are inadvertently feeding his selfish focus on himself: You can’t simultaneously contribute to a problem and solve it.

 Women speak to me with shocked voices of betrayal as they tell me how their couples therapist, or the abuser’s individual therapist, or a therapist for one of their children, has become a vocal advocate for him and a harsh and superior critic of her. I have saved for years a letter that a psychologist wrote about one of my clients, a man who admitted to me that his wife was covered with blood and had broken bones when he was done beating her and that she could have died. The psychologist’s letter ridiculed the system for labeling this man a “batterer,” saying that he was too reasonable and insightful and should not be participating in my abuser program any further.

 The content of the letter indicated to me that the psychologist had neglected to ever ask the client to describe the brutal beating that he had been convicted of.

As a routine part of my assessment of an abusive man, I contacted his private therapist to compare impressions. The therapist turned out to have strong opinions about the case:

THERAPIST:  I think it’s a big mistake for Martin to be attending your abuser program. He has very low self-esteem; he believes anything bad that anyone says about him. If you tell him he’s abusive, that will just tear him down further. His partner slams him with the word abusive all the time, for reasons of her own. His wife’s got huge control issues, and she has obsessive-compulsive disorder. She needs treatment. I think having Martin in your program just gets her what she wants.

BANCROFT: So you have been doing couples counseling with them?

THERAPIST: No, I see him individually.

BANCROFT: How many times have you met with her?

THERAPIST: She hasn’t been in at all.

BANCROFT: You must have had quite extensive phone contact with her, then.

THERAPIST: No, I haven’t spoken to her.

BANCROFT: You haven’t spoken to her? You have assigned his wife a clinical diagnosis based only on Martin’s descriptions of her?

THERAPIST: Yes, but you need to understand, we’re talking about an unusually insightful man. Martin has told me many details, and he is perceptive and sensitive.

BANCROFT: But he admits to serious psychological abuse of his wife, although he doesn’t call it that. An abusive man is not a reliable source of information about his partner. What the abuser was getting from individual therapy, unfortunately, was an official seal of approval for his denial, and for his view that his wife was mentally ill.”

—“Why does he do that ? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling men”

by Lundy Bancroft