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― Elena Ferrante, The Story of the Lost Child
[text ID: To write, you have to want something to survive you.]
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❤️🩹
Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934
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With me, you get a homie, a lover, a best friend and a psycho.
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And if you could take away one thing from me.
O Lord, let it be the desire to be loved.
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I Don't Know How Many Souls I Have
by Fernando Pessoa tr. Richard Zenith
I don’t know how many souls I have. I’ve changed at every moment. I always feel like a stranger. I’ve never seen or found myself. From being so much, I have only soul. A man who has soul has no calm. A man who sees is just what he sees. A man who feels is not who he is.
Attentive to what I am and see, I become them and stop being I. Each of my dreams and each desire Belongs to whoever had it, not me. I am my own landscape, I watch myself journey -- Various, mobile, and alone. Here where I am I can’t feel myself.
That’s why I read, as a stranger, My being as if it were pages. Not knowing what will come And forgetting what has passed, I note in the margin of my reading What I thought I felt. Rereading, I wonder: “Was that me?” God knows, because he wrote it.
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