h0ndayot4

[h0ndayot4]

and actually i’m not ready to move on from this. omitting the police involvement in adam’s injury so that ronan is never arrested and adam never says “can i press charges” is crazy. even with everything else they cut for time or content (im always straight, repugnant, am i invited?, ronan’s alcoholism, etc) i think that was pretty structural and it’s bizarre to me they’d remove that

[h0ndayot4]

adam in this panel is giving me heart palpitations…like boy do you know the power you have?

[h0ndayot4]

new adam parrish just dropped

[h0ndayot4]

i present pieces of a temporarily abandoned wip titled "what it means to wade" that explores ronan's grief amidst the joys of his first summer with adam

W͟h͟a͟t͟ ͟I͟t͟ ͟M͟e͟a͟n͟s͟ ͟t͟o͟ ͟W͟a͟d͟e͟

WADE (verb) 

to walk with feet submerged in (water, a stream, etc.)

to proceed with difficulty 

     present participle: wading 

WADING (verb) 

the occupation of two spaces at once 

movement into and against fear 

 ̵̫̯̏_̶̡̣̚ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ wading: (see also) sinking, longing, remembering.

In the beginning, Adam came and went from the Barns.

He was not always there, but when he was, the house felt less empty. With Adam around, it was easier for Ronan to ignore what was missing. His parents were gone. His brothers kept their distance. That was nothing new. But now, Ronan had a reason to act like he wasn’t the last man standing.

Sure, doors stayed shut—he was Bluebeard without the wives and bent for blood. But with Adam, he could pretend they weren’t bolted. That the Barns wasn’t a tomb. That he wasn’t haunting his own house.

In those instances, grief was an aperture stuck half-closed. The dead feeling he woke up with didn’t disappear so much as lose definition. Its edges blurred under the presence of someone who didn’t solely live within the fucked-up funhouse that was his head. Someone real. Someone thinking. Someone who could touch and be touched in return.

Sometimes, Ronan feared he would wake to find it had all been a dream. That he had breathed life into a pile of dirt, had torn a whole boy from his ribs. It had happened once before, with the midwinter miracle that was the manifestation of Matthew Lynch. No one had stopped it then. Certainly, no one would stop it now.

On the worst nights, he jolted awake, sweat-soaked and breathless, and stared at the ceiling until the Shenandoah sun began its slow creep, until the death rattle of the valley’s whirling winds no longer reverberated through the ancient bones of the Barns. Those nights bled into paranoia-laced mornings. He was restless and uneasy until Adam called from the little flip phone they had found in a pile of Declan’s discarded shit and said, pick me up after my shift.

Other nights, when it was late, when Adam had come over and was too tired to drag himself back to St. Agnes, Ronan would wake—afraid, always afraid—to find Adam beside him, warm-breathed and slack-limbed in sleep. He would hover his fingers under Adam’s nose, press them against the sharp jut of his wrist. Still suspended in disbelief, Ronan would check that his own fingers were not dirt-stained. That he was not missing a rib.

Those were the bad nights that ended well. The nights when he did not wake feeling like death warmed over. When, even if he still lost an hour of sleep driving Adam back to St. Agnes, it never felt like a chore. If anything, it was the opposite. The simple fact that he got to drive Adam back at all fed into itself—a self-referential, infinite loop of satisfaction.

For the first time in a long time, Ronan found that the good outweighed the bad.

[h0ndayot4]

mooodboard 4 band-au summer wip, in which ronan and adam reunite after years apart, but adam is "just adam" and ronan is a world famous guitarist.

s/o leonard cohen's entire discography (particularly coming back to you...)

p.s. there will be a jordeclan shotgun wedding

[h0ndayot4]

jeopardy clue about owen glendower tonight. have never felt more alive

[h0ndayot4]

marlboro man & his straight-toothed pipe dream

— pynch playlist

[h0ndayot4]

and what if I told you these lyrics from boyish by japanese breakfast were basically ronan in that infamous nino’s scene… what then?

[h0ndayot4]

RONAN LYNCH — the bull-headed boy, the two-headed calf

call down the hawk - maggie stiefvater / minotaur, bronze sculpture (1990) — pedro requejo novoa / the minotaur (painting) - wikipedia excerpt / the minotaur, oil on canvas (1885) -  george frederic watts / the elektra complex — joan tierney / call down the hawk — maggie stiefvater / frankenstein — mary shelley / greywarren — maggie stiefvater / house of asterion — jorge luis borges / the dream thieves — maggie stiefvater / labyrinthus hic habitat minotaurus [fig.32. - graffito at pompeii. (museo borbonico.)] — mazes and labyrinths: a general account of their history and developments / call down the hawk — maggie stiefvater / house of asterion — jorge luis borges / greywaren — maggie stiefvater / the two-headed calf — laura gilpin / greywaren — maggie stiefvater 

[h0ndayot4]

rip ronan lynch, you would've loved ethel cain

[h0ndayot4]

son of the absconded hot rod angel ⋮ ⌗ ┆by h0ndayot4

a.k.a the 70s art crime psychosexual road trip story that only exists in my head

ronan lynch/adam parrish, declan lynch/jordan hennessey| E | 2.1k | 1/?

The thing about— 1. THE PAST: it bites. deep. never clean. 2. THE FUTURE: it devours. leaves nothing but bone. 3. BROTHERS: they cut, and the scars never fade. 4. LOVE: it starves, no matter how you feed it. 5. THE DEAD: they claw their way back. or: it's 1975. adam parrish won’t stop digging. ronan lynch is a martyr in the making. a dead man rots in the rearview.

📑: playlist | pinterest | recommended media (boxd.it)

⤷

[h0ndayot4]

when he saw the spacious longing in Declan’s face, he realized how much Declan had missed by growing up neither dreamer nor dreamt. This had never been his home. The lynches had never tried to make it Declan’s home.

[h0ndayot4]

firm believer that adam parrish should be getting his undergrad in architecture. not because I’m doing it myself, but because architects are unhinged, freaky little creatures obsessed with precision and control. perfectly in line with his whole deal.

[h0ndayot4]

rip joseph kavinsky you would've loved party 4 u

[h0ndayot4]

sally rooney wrote intermezzo for the girls who adore the lynch brothers. god’s greatest gift to mankind was irish brothers who have complicated relationships with each other, god, and their fathers (a.k.a. god again)! hallelujah and rejoice!!

[h0ndayot4]

this might just be the lynch brothers

[h0ndayot4]

the myth of niall & marie mór

(a.k.a the pre and post niallmórcringefailmarriage playlist of my dreams...)