quick comic about a conversation my therapist said i should try having when im feeling bad (instead of isolating myself and using unhealthy coping mechanisms)
In Your Eyes
“I just pretend that I’m in the dark
I don’t regret ‘cause my heart can’t take a loss”
I play dumb to a lot of shit that you do; to protect myself from devastation and to maintain my relationship with you all together. It’s a bad decision, sure, but it’s no ones decision but my own.
“I’d rather be so oblivious
I’d rather be with you”
I figure it’s better to be going through the motions with you and be content than to be alone and unhappy.
“When it’s said, when it’s done,
I don’t ever wanna know
I can tell what you done When I look at you In your eyes”
At the end of the day, I hope I never find out about the things that you’ve done; I’m honestly better off not knowing. but then again, you wouldn’t even have to tell me; the guilty spreads all over your face, it settles into your eyes, so when you look at me, I can see everything.
“I see there’s something burning inside you
Oh, inside you
In your eyes, I know it hurts to smile but you try to
Oh, you try to”
The lies you tell, the guilt you feel, at some point it all becomes too much to bear. It’s clear you don’t want to hurt me, but you don’t know how else to be; this is who you are, and even if you cant accept that, I already have.
“You always try to hide the pain
You always know just what to say
I always look the other way
I’m blind, I’m blind”
You don’t want me to see how much this effects you; you try to brush it off like its no big deal, and you want to leave me with the impression that it’s all ok for you, but the truth is you hate this, but I don’t bother to make it any better. If anything, I prefer to remain oblivious to the n=bullshit and let you do you
“In your eyes, you lie, but I don’t let it define you
Oh, define you”
And even though this makes up most of what you say and do, I know it isn’t you…
“I tried to find love
In someone else too many times
But I hope you know I mean it (Mean it)
When I tell you you’re the one that was on my mind”
I’ll admit, I’ve tried to seek happiness in others, even on my own, but it never really worked out; to be honest, it probably has a lot to do with the fact that I was never really over you.
“When it’s said, when it’s done, yeah
I would never let you know
I’m ashamed of what I’ve done, yeah
When I look at you In your eyes”
But I’d never tell you that; it’s too embarrassing. I don’t want you to think I had other options, because I really don’t. Plus, I wouldn’t want you looking at me different.
“I see there’s something burning inside you (Inside you)
Oh, inside you (Oh, inside you)
In your eyes, I know it hurts to smile but you try to (But you try to)
Oh, you try to (You try to)”
“You always try to hide the pain (Oh, oh)
You always know just what to say (Oh, dear)
I always look the other way
I’m blind, I’m blind”
“In your eyes, you lie, but I don’t let it define you (Hey)
Oh, define you”
“In your eyes
I see there’s something burning inside you
Oh, inside you”
“You always try to hide the pain
You always know just what to say
I always look the other way
I’m blind, I’m blind”
“In your eyes, you lie, but I don’t let it define you
Oh, define you”