hahayeahiamthefword - Tumblr blog

[hahayeahiamthefword]

[hahayeahiamthefword]

Together we will rally for artistic freedom. To support the cause and add your voice visit: www.crowdrise.com/unitedvoices #UnitedVoices

[hahayeahiamthefword]

acid was cool. making money by talking to men is cool. have a sex toy and being able to come in 2 minutes is cool. smoking weed whenever i want is cool. making an A on my first marketing research exam is too. having that hot guy you fuck telling you he wants you repeatedly is cool. life is cool lol 

[hahayeahiamthefword]

[hahayeahiamthefword]

notes on breakups: realize you’re grieving, crying is cleansing, closure doesn’t always happen, there’s no room for pride, you can’t fill the void with sex, stop checking their social media, go to bed early, focus on school, or work, or the gym, don’t lose yourself, embrace change, you’ve been here before, you’ll get through this again

[hahayeahiamthefword]

[hahayeahiamthefword]

I am afraid it is going to be awhile before I feel whole again. 

[hahayeahiamthefword]

“Donald Trump is in the news again today because-”

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[hahayeahiamthefword]

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Im overwhelmed by my life and I dont have the person I used to depend on to make things feel ok. Between my job, internship, research position, school and trying to get over this fucking break up I feel like I cant catch my breath. I want to feel good enough again and not like Im doing whatever I can to pass time and not be sad. 

[hahayeahiamthefword]

this is a lot lol

ok so i fucked someone who wasnt raymund!!!!

and I FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT!!!!!!!

what had happpen was i went out friday night to a country night (lol ya i know) and i was fucked up bc no dinner and a lot of motivation to drink

anyways, 

i get there and this nice tall lil chunky country guy hits on me at the bar. i was stunned. not only did he actually ask me questions about myself farther than “what are you doing after this” HE ASKED ME OUT OF A DATE THE NEXT DAY. The whole time he was tryihng to buy me a basketball ticket so that i could go w him and his friends. and on top of that HE INTRODUCED ME TO HIS FRIENDS. felt so good to be wanted by someone and talked to kindly andhe kept telling me how beautiful i was. and some of the girls in his group were like telling me about how he isnt a fuck boy!!

so i talk to him more and he name drops a steak house and said hed like to take my there to dinner if i would like (later i found out it was a fancy steak house!!) (im worth spending money on!!!!) he contiuned to be sweet and we kissed some after at least an hour of talk (or less i was drunk cannot confirm). we talked more and we talked about where we were from and he said some place in florida, and i knew of it bc my internship boss is from there lol. and he knew him!! it made since bc he was like 26/27 and thats the age of my boss who is from a small country town.

anyways,

he texted me the next morning about hanging out before the basketball game and pregaming with him and his friends and i said no bc i went to the womens march. i also was too stressed out at the thought of being social for that long bc those games are forever. i also am nervous because he is nice and i think i could catch feelings. 

unfornately i have no fucking idea what his name is, i want to say andrew but i dont know lol. so i cant confirm that sober me would fuck him :/

so i leave the bar and go home and hit up a guy from my past who i had been talking to sparsely thru the week and YALL

so he gets over and im fucked up and hes probably fucked up but i didnt notice since i was. anyways, he was complmenting me right away he is fine as FUCK so im just on cloud nine. we decide to smoke some and hes like packing a bowl in my kitchen and had taken his shirt off and im just staring in awe of this beautiful ass man infront of me. so we sit and smoke in my living room and catch up, and i told him about how i did coke for the first time the other day and he was like wanna do it again??? and again i  couldnt find a reason to say no so i said hell yeah and idk why but doing coke with him was SO HOT like i did multiple lines and he did and hes such a bad boy. he had a fucking black eye which was hot lol. 

so we move to the bedroom and lowkey i dont remember much bc i was on doing the most but i do remember that his dick was pretty huge and i couldnt even fit all of it lol. and he saying how hot my hair is and how attrative he thought i was and WOW it was a moment. we fucked for awhile and HE STAYED THE NIGHT!!  which i was so stoked about bc in the morning we had sex again and it was soberish sex which means he still found me hot even not fucked up and that was great.

so yaaaaaa

[hahayeahiamthefword]

Jeremy Allen White at the Women’s March in LA.