hairnerd-blog1

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Is anyone reading this?

It has been quite some time since my last post. Honestly, I didn’t think anyone was actually reading. Also, I wanted to create a blog that kept it real, but was still positive and uplifting. I stopped because I found myself only wanting to write when I was feeling down or feeling defeated. Although it is therapeutic to write when I am not feeling my best, it just is not what I wanted this to be. 

Well, it was brought to my attention that there are people out there that are following me and wanting the updates. This really took me by surprise. So I apologize that I ditched all of my blogging efforts. 

There is no conclusive update to give. Tomorrow, I am going in for my six week check up with my doctor since I received the stem cell injection. By now, I am supposed to feel some type of difference, right? There is no difference. Not even in the slightest. I am sick of only posting the negatives, but right now there really isn’t much positive to share. I am looking for a job in the beauty industry that doesn’t require me to be behind the chair at a salon. This is proving to be so much more difficult than I ever imagine. Saying that I am discouraged at this point doesn’t even begin to describe what I am going through. I am feeling so lost and so hopeless. I know I will figure it all out and everything will work out for the best. But for now, in this moment, I am feeling defeated. I hope I have more positive/uplifting things to share soon! My plan is to start putting tutorials and videos together to post to finally make my blog what I have wanted it to be from the start. 

If you are reading this, now you understand (I think) what is going and where I have been. I don’t need anyone’s sympathy/anyone to feel bad for me. Life is full of obstacles and right now I’m just scraping through it. I said I would be raw, unfiltered me. Here it is.

[hairnerd-blog1]

Progress

I promised myself I would get back to the gym and really focus on strengthening my back and shoulders. Well, I am proud to announce that I finally got off of my lazy, unmotivated ass! I have worked out every day this week! Mentally, I am feeling so much better. I am finally feeling motivated again. I can’t speak for my actual physical progress yet, but I remain hopeful. I have started looking for jobs in the beauty industry that I can do in the mean time. I have an interview next week. I am hoping that this gets me back on track. I am starting to feel like my absence from behind the chair has been so long that I won’t be able to pick up where I left off. (Ahh, so much anxiety!) I’m trying to shut up my anxiety that is actually screaming in my head. I am easing myself back into the hair game - doing weddings, photo shoots, and making more house calls (haircuts and styling only). I cannot wait to get back to a normal schedule! 

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The sun finally made an appearance in Chicago and shined it’s beautiful rays this long memorial day weekend! I was taking full advantage. A haircut was requested and no one said where it had to be. Outside it was! I wish I could do outdoor haircuts more often. NO CLEAN UP! Plus birds can use the hair for their nests so I would like to think we were contributing to the ecosystem. 

I enjoyed getting to play with some hair while soaking up some much needed vitamin D. I needed this so much! Being out of work and struggling with this pain, I feel like I have started to lose myself. I can feel my identity fading away. Because of this, I know I need to make some changes. This week, I am going to start working out again and focus on my physical therapy strengthening. Since getting the stem cell injection in my shoulder, I have yet to feel the benefits. I am hoping that combining strengthening with the injection will be my answer. I have not been feeling myself. I have noticed that I let the pain take over me. I was going strong for a while and somehow I slid down this dark path. Well, it’s time to stand tall and march back into the light. I will do everything in my power to get my life back! The life I want! Not the life I have to settle for because my body is trying to stop me. Wish me luck! I will probably be the dead girl at the gym that has to be whisked away by ambulance. (I’m saying I’m out of shape, ok!)

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WHATS BEING OUT OF WORK MEANS TO ME

If you read my last post, you know I am unable to work due to a never-ending injury. I am a hairstylist. That is my identity. When I am not working, I start to lose myself. When I am not working, I am bored. I am so effing (trying not to be a potty mouth always) bored! As a millennial, when I am bored I take to social media (which is making me even crazier!). My whole Instagram feed is hair and art and more hair! I am so inspired all of the time and it is killing me! I am so full of ideas for photo shoots, for hair colors, styles, cuts! My brain is overflowing with ideas! But it’s like I’m in one of those nightmares where you’re trying to run, but am unable to move- stuck. I just want to run! I want to work! I want to do something! Mostly, I just want to get out. I want to get out of my apartment, out of my head, and LIVE! That is what I AM going to do.

Written above is all my venting about boredom and being out of work. I have decided I will not give this set-back any more power over me than it already has. I have decided this injection I got the other day WILL work. Fuck boredom! Fuck this chronic pain taking over my life! (oops, forgot I was trying not to be a potty mouth) 

Be prepared. Inspiration storms are coming your way. Once this injection takes full effect, there will be no stopping me. I am going to go on a hair rampage!

[hairnerd-blog1]

I’m Michalia (or Micki). I am starting this blog because I am scared. Why am I scared? I have struggled with a shoulder injury for the last nine years. As a hairstylist, this has really hindered my journey in my career. I have wanted to be a hairstylist for as long as I can remember. My dreams never wavered. In July 2013, I graduated from beauty school (Pivot Point Academy, if you were interested). One week later, I went into shoulder surgery. I did not know if the surgery would be successful. I did not know if I came this far to find out I could no longer pursue my passion. I could go on and on about how long it took me to get to the point where I found a doctor willing to do and try anything to find me some relief, but I will leave that for another time (maybe). I found my amazing doctor and surgeon who performed my surgery and I will forever owe him my gratitude. After a six month recovery of hard work and will-power, I was finally ready to start my career! I was living my dream for the next couple of years. I was working at a salon in Chicago, moved into the city, and built my following. Soon after that, I got the opportunity to become and educator for Flow Hair Care. I could not in my wildest dreams imagine my passion for hair growing even greater, but it did! Now, fast-forward to today. I had to quit my job at the salon. My shoulder issues all rushed back and I could no longer manage the pain while working (or just living in general). This. This is why I am scared. This is why I decided to start blogging. Why today? Today, I am exhausting all my options to solve the problem that is my body. After another round of physical therapy and no relief, my doctor offered one last option: an injection that is still considered experimental because of the use of stem cells. (By the way, I am pulling money out of my ass to cover all of this since insurance is a joke and I’m not working). Today, I received that injection. I am hoping with all of my heart and all of my energy that this works! I miss my job, my clients, my life, This is why I am scared. I cannot think of one thing that makes me happier than doing hair. That is why I am a “hair nerd”! I decided that I want to share my story even if no one listens to it. I am going to keep fighting until I can continue my dream. For now, I will continue educating and doing hair on the side as much as my body allows me. Now, I am not a writer and my thoughts might be all over the place, but this is me - raw, unfiltered me. If I can’t do hair, I will continue to talk about it. I will continue preaching self-love from behind a screen instead of behind the chair. Today marks a new beginning.