halfblackwolfdemon

[halfblackwolfdemon]

EVERYONE BE QUIET I CAN HEAR CHEESE

[halfblackwolfdemon]

EVERYONE BE QUIET I CAN HEAR CHEESE

[halfblackwolfdemon]

[halfblackwolfdemon]

[halfblackwolfdemon]

I want to apologise to

- Britney for making fun of her when she had her breakdown

- Monica Lewinski for judging her when she was a 22year old temp sexually assaulted by the most powerful man in the world

- Ke$ha for ever thinking she was trashy when all she wanted to do was make party music

- Kristen Stewart for ever thinking she was dumb when she’s actually one of the coolest people ever

- Megan Fox for ever thinking she was just a slut when actually she was an actress being harassed by her employer. 

- Hating all the women who made a career out of having a hot body. Being is shape is hard, beauty is a weapon and auto promotion is hard work. 

- All the Mary-Sues, who exist because young girls everywhere want to be part of a story they love so much

- All the female characters I ever snobbed because they got in the way of my ship.

- Hating the color pink during my teenage years, when it’s actually a lovely color and what I resented was society’s pressure to perform femininity. 

[halfblackwolfdemon]

OUR COUSIN MADE IT TO THE NFL

[halfblackwolfdemon]

[halfblackwolfdemon]

so. my wife came downstairs just as i took a bite out of the remaining half red onion on the counter. literally within seconds of just getting away with it. i looked at her, and she looked at me, and we both sat there a moment, all frozen, before she said babs, what the fuck. i tried to say i can explain but it came out as or corn explorn because such was the onion in my mouth that there was no room for words. its honestly a miracle that she understood me at all. at least, i'm assuming that she understood me because she did let me get my bearings for a few moments. a smarter man would've used that time to think up a good lie, but instead i just chewed as fast as i could because i knew i was gonna have to tell a whopper and i really wanted to be able to use big words again.

big words are instrumental to telling a whopper.

anyway, i totally ran out of time. i barely got my first swallow of onion in before she said well?, and i did at least have an empty mouth to match my empty head. but also i had no lies. so i looked her dead in the face, opened my mouth and waited, every bit as curious as her, to hear what excuse my mouth was gonna come up with.

im pregnant, said my mouth.

great job, mouth, said my brain.

mmmmm onion, said my mouth.

better you than me, said my wife.

then she went upstairs. it has been two hours she still refuses to kiss me. im devastated. im shook. im crying a little, i think.

(but that might just be the onion.)

[halfblackwolfdemon]

[halfblackwolfdemon]

NOTICE: As more and more fanfic writers are using generative AI for their works (you uncreative dweebs), I hereby swear on everything I hold dear that I have not and will NEVER use generative AI in ANY of my written work. Everything I post will be organically and creatively my own.

[halfblackwolfdemon]

Pondering my orbs.

[halfblackwolfdemon]

More proof that capitalism was never "freedom" or "small government".

[halfblackwolfdemon]

[halfblackwolfdemon]

Leslie *after dealing with yet another bat-induced medical crisis*: I am getting too old for this bullshit.

Damian: excuse me, Dr. Tompkins. I was hoping to speak with you privately if you had a moment. You see I've recently become interested in entering the medical field and was wondering-

Leslie: why hello there, retirement plan.

Damian: what?

Leslie: Hm? Oh, never you mind. Now come along, child and I will teach you everything I know. With no ulterior motives whatsoever.

[halfblackwolfdemon]

i bet count von count has killer fuckin music taste

[halfblackwolfdemon]

[halfblackwolfdemon]

Some snaps from the 10 year anniversary party last night.