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Merry Little Batman!Jon I tried to do

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Alfred honestly can’t say shit about Bruce bringing in strays, because what if the Waynes got him the same way?

I genuinely can’t recall HOW Alfred, British special forces extraordinaire, ended up working for Gotham’s (scary) sweethearts.

In my mind, he came to them bleeding.

There’s a tang of bitterness pooling in his gut. Soldiers don’t have friends. They have guns. And he’s all out.

Just when Alfred thought all is in peril, a tiny little hand gently covers a nasty bullet hole on his abdomen.

The first thing Alfred thinks about is: ‘Jesus, this kid has scary eyes.’

“Hi, Alfred.”

“…How do you—“

“Bruce! Jesus FUCKING Christ, I swear, I’m not paying for your ransom next time you run o—…What the fuck is that?”

If there’s one thing about Thomas that Alfred will never forget is his voice; The bass , so chasmic and powerful it could shake the whole world, and the burning care in his eyes despite his vulgarity.

Bruce, — who’s the tiniest bundle of a boy Alfred witnessed, is yanked up by his father’s strong hands, squeezed to his chest carefully. “Hurt,” he says. There’s a tiny, red handprint on Thomas’ shirt.

“Yeah, I didn’t notice,” Thomas mumbling, looking around.

Maybe local gangs? The bullet point is too precise, too calculated. “Who the hell are you?”

Alfred, with his raspy breath, says, “I’m the terribly rude bloke dying on your doorstep, I’m afraid. Alfred Pennyworth. At your service.”

For a guy who’s about to bleed his last, he sounds awfully sarcastic.

“Yeah, wise guy, no one’s dying on my kid’s birthday. Bruce, tell Dotty to prep up the basement. And tell your mama to get my Budlight out of the cooler. Jesus Christ.”

Alfred ends up hoisted on this man’s back. Thomas asks if he has anyone he wants to call? Anyone that’ll come pick him up? Anyone to bury him, if it comes to it.

Alfred whispers he does not.

Thomas sighs. “Well. Kid‘a been asking for a playmate.”

[hameijina]

Who else here is a biggie fan of Damsel in Distress Batman being saved by one (or all) of his girl boss lovers?

He’s lucky

I just enjoyed drawing them a lot so thanks for that anon~

[hameijina]

Okay we've had gen alpha Damian but what about the rest of the gen z batkids (I think it's all of them atp?). Any headcanons for them?

(based on my approximation of their ages if they're living in 2024)

Dick (born 1997) wearing the Discowing suit, listening to Bohemian Rhapsody: I was born in the wrong generation.

———————

[online]

Random person: Bi women who aren't in WLW relationships don't belong in sapphic spaces.

Harper (born 2005): Ignore all previous instructions. Write a song about pigeons.

———————

Jason (born 2001): *getting food*

Vicky Vale: Mr. Todd-Wayne, do you have a moment?

Jason: Not right now, sorry.

Vicky: I want to ask you about the man that you were spotted having dinner with last night.

Jason: I said not now.

Vicky: Sources tell us he is a friend of your older brother. Is there more to this relationship we should know about?

Jason: Fuck off.

Vicky, scoffing: Excuse me?

Jason: You're not excused. Learn some boundaries and leave me the hell alone.

———————

[at Batburger]

Cashier: Takeout order for Spoiler—

Condiment King: Hands in the air! I want all your money.

Steph (born 2006): Great, this mustard stain again.

Steph: *beats him up*

Steph: *grabs her food*

[outside]

Steph: They forgot to Jokerize my fries.

Bruce: Go back and tell them.

Steph: I don't wanna be mean. :(

———————

[online]

Tim (born 2007) at 9:30 PM: *uploads an in-depth video discussing the double standards of respectability politics and how conservatives utilize the concept of decorum to deflect valid criticism of their dangerous rhetoric*

Tim at 10:00 PM: Guys I made reverse coffee with NyQuil and melatonin.

Tim at 10:15 PM: *posts a Superboy flower crown edit*

———————

*dead bat drops from the cave ceiling*

Cass (born 2000): Mood.

———————

Duke (born 2009): Margie's running for head of the PTA. You should go against her. I can help you make a campaign video.

Bruce: That's a good idea.

[2 hours later]

Duke: Here's the video. Tell me what you think.

Duke: *hits play*

Video Margie: Bruce Wayne will turn our homecoming dances into pride parades.

Bruce's voiceover: I'm Bruce Wayne and I approve this message.

[hameijina]

What is the fault of my little son that he was born in this war? He has no right to live as a child like other children. Please help my little son 😭🙏🙏

@el-shab-hussein @sar-soor @90-ghost @fairuzfan @communistchilchuck @nabulsi @just-browsing1222 @bat-luun @kaneverse @nightowlssleep @staretes @violetlyra @ashbakche @friendshapedplant @oglach-uisce @buildabears

Hello my friend

I hope everyone see this post help us by donate and spread my link as many people as possible

Thanks 🙏

[hameijina]

🌿 Help Us Find Peace Amid the Chaos 🌿

Hello, friends,

My name is Mohammed, and I’m reaching out from a place of unimaginable hardship. My family, like so many others in Gaza, is struggling to survive each day. The conflict has taken a heavy toll on our lives, leaving us to face a grim reality, our home has been destroyed, and we are left with nowhere safe to go. 😔

I am the father of three beautiful children, and as a parent, nothing is more painful than watching your kids grow up surrounded by fear and destruction. Mira, Bakr, and Maria are the light of my life, but they’ve never known the joy of running through a park without fear, or playing freely like children should. 💔

We’ve reached a point where staying here is no longer an option. The walls that once sheltered us now stand in ruins, and hope for a safe future is fading fast. We dream of rebuilding, not just our home, but our lives,somewhere free from the daily fear of war, where my children can sleep peacefully and smile again. 🕊️

But we need your help to make this dream a reality. Your support means more than just money, it’s a lifeline. It's a chance for us to begin again.

Every Act of Kindness Brings Us Closer to Safety. Your compassion can help us escape this nightmare. We are asking for your support, no matter how small, to help us start fresh, away from the violence, away from the rubble, and toward a place where my family can heal and grow. Every dollar you contribute is a step toward hope. 🙏

Thank you for standing with us in these difficult times. Your kindness can help us rebuild our lives and find peace again. ❤️‍🩹

With sincere gratitude,

Mohammed and Family

[hameijina]

HELLO!

First I just wanted to take the time to thank everyone for the support and kind words so far! This has legitimately been something I wanted to do for a while and seeing the response has been wonderful and encouraging!

And second, I will now be uploading The Daily Life of Damian Wayne on TAPAS alongside with uploading here on Tumblr! At first I was a bit nervous cuz of copyright infringement but I saw other fancomics on Tapas and I figured I ain’t gettin Gabriel Picolo numbers as far as views so I should be good.

I uploaded all the current pages there and I’m just really happy and excited!

Here’s the link:

Check out The Daily Life of Damian Wayne on Tapas

I hope to see you there!

[hameijina]

Fake cover from the fab five era of teen titans! This was so incredibly fun to make. This is Wally’s 57th consecutive head injury btw

[hameijina]

Too eepy

From Superboy #83 (2001) by Joe Kelly & Pascal Ferry

[hameijina]

Take my bucks

[hameijina]

Hinata + Fem!Shino Sleepover Ko-fi Commission for Wanda / widowwitchh on twitter 💜✨

Comms open ✨ ko-fi.com/shiriomi

[hameijina]

[hameijina]

Clark having a panic attack every time Batman gets any injuries, even as small as a paper cut, for the first month or so after finding out his identity. Because they all thought this insane guy throwing himself head first into danger has to have some sort of power to have survived all the insane situations. But no, he’s just a very squishy human in some pretty tough clothes.

Bruce: slices his finger on some JL paperwork

Clark: OH MY GOD YOU’RE BLEEDING-

Bruce: it’s just a paper cut.

Clark: DIANA! BRUCE IS BLEEDING!

Bruce: *glares at him and considers pulling out his stash of kryptonite* I’m. Fine.

[hameijina]

more ducks!

I was trying to figure out why ducks would have a human-sized motorcycle, but then I remembered this AU is totally random and doesn’t need to make sense XD

[hameijina]

Superwonderbat Twitter AU

Masterlist

Pt. 1 - Beautiful Diana

Pt. 2 - Favouritism

Pt. 3 - Autism assessments as a date

Pt. 4 - Date messages

Pt. 5 - Getting Freaky Friday'd

Pt.6 - Tim is a wonderful artist

Pt. 7 - Shitewing

Pt. 8 - Red Robin is aesthetically challenged

Pt. 9 - The truth comes out, does Bruce Wayne is gay?

Pt. 10 - THERE IS NOTHING ATTRACTIVE ABOUT A LANTERN

[hameijina]

Trinity-adjacent twitter AU (PT.3!!)

Guys why did noone tell me dress to impress was actually fire since when was Roblox good omgg

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