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hamzahsfav · 4 months ago

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guys please direct me to angst fics EXACTLY like this. this was beyond incredible

Harsh Realities

Pairings : fem!reader x kaiparker

Warnings : loads of swearing, lot of angst, mentions of break ups, degrading comments, crying

Summary : After another another fight, Y/N faces the Harsh Reality that her and Kai just weren’t good together

A/N :

Ik your thinking ‘shouldn’t you be writing smuts😟’ the answer is yes. And I am. I just had a thought and needed to write it out:) so here you are<3

You slammed the door shut, anger just flooding through your veins. There was not a line that this asshole wouldn't cross was there? Everything was just a game to him. You were just a game to him. He didn't care about anything you had to say because everything had to be about him. And as long as he got what he wanted, the rest of the world be damned. There was nothing you could do to change his mind. You didn't mean that much to him. You were probably just a means to an end.

"Did you just slam a fucking door in my face?" The door flew open again. Rage in his tone as he glared at you, and boy, if looks could kill...

Your eyes simply rolled your eyes at the heretic, kicking off your heels as you threw your coat to the ground. And if you thought he didn't notice, he most certainly did. There was enough anger in the room to create a thick red fog in front of both of your visions. Kai inside his head going maniac at the audacity you seemed to pick up at the door. Your mind racing to see what's the best possible route for you to take. You couldn't do this right now. The arguing. You were simply tired of it.

"I asked you a fucking question, y/n. Answer me." He growled. Your eyes shutting for a moment as he spoke. For some reason his voice just infuriating you.

"I don't know Coven Leader, did I?" You spat, head snapping his direction to return the cruel glare he was giving you. "Or are you just trying to pick another fight tonight?"

"Don't raise your voice at me-"

"You've got to be kidding me!"

"I don't know what the hell your so angry for, but you are not going to take it all out on me because I did nothing!" He defended himself.

"Are you fucking stupid?!"

"excuse me?"

"You did everything to deserve this! My anger, this anger, was designed especially for your ignorant ass! Do you not see how fucking selfish you are? You can't go one day without ruining mine! Like, your so fucking insecure that I can't even breathe around someone who isn't you!" You ranted, frustration taking over your mental state. "And then you have the fucking audacity to act like your innocent!" You scoffed.

"Selfish?! I do everything for you and IM selfish?! Do you know how much I've given up for you?"

"What? Your friends? Oh wait- how about your family? Oh fucking wait." You replied causing his jaw to clench. "Sorry, I ruined to your childish revenge scheme. I didn't mean to be such a fuck up." There was a toxicity in your voice that ignited something in him.

"You act like your so much better than me. Walking around with your perfect friends, living a perfect life, then you get to come home and screw the social reject of the group like fucking clockwork." He spat.

"Your ridiculous." You growled.

"What? Is it the charity work that gets you off?" He continued.

"God knows it's certainly not you." You fired back, just to piss him off even more. Even if it wasn't true, the both of you knew that, but he didn't seem to care. "I've been trying so fucking hard to get everyone to see that you aren't such a bad person, but it's like you are dead set on proving me wrong! Is it that fucking impossible for you to behaving like a decent human being? I know your all fucked in the head but it can't be that hard." His jaw clenched at the continuous assaults. You noticed the balling of his fist which made the veins in him arms bulge, and how his jaw clenched making that vein in his neck pop. "It was a dinner. People dress up at dinners. People conversation at dinners. If you weren't aware."

"Do they also try to make out with their dinner buddies who have boyfriends?" He asked mocking your voice.

"That's not what happened-"

"That's exactly what the fuck happened. And I swear if I wasn't there you probably would've-"

"Would've fucking what?!" You growled, anger boiling through you. "Kissed him?" He just glared, not saying much, which was rare. "Fucked him?" You added, watching his head shake slowly. "You know you are fucking unbelievable. I have never- NEVER given you a reason to not trust me. It's insulting, and degrading, and so fucking hurtful that you would even think that I- UGHH." Your brain moving at a million miles per hour, making it harder for you to collect any thoughts up there.

"Well it's kinda hard not to think that when you were seconds away from sucking each others faces off." You felt the tears looking in the bottom of your eyes from just pure frustration. And usually when you felt frustrated, like you couldn't speak or think, you'd have kai right beside you, wrapping you in his arms and helping your mind and body slow down a bit. But now you couldn't have that. You had to deal.

"I'm not dealing with you tonight." You simply shook your head. "I'm taking a shower, then I'm going to bed. You can sleep on the couch, in your car, in a fucking box under some bridge, I don't give a flying fuck. But wherever you choose won't be in here." You commented.

"You're not kicking me out of my own bed."

"Do you want me to kick you out of the house?" You retorted, his mouth dropped slightly at the threat. You couldn't be serious? Could you? You fucked up and he has to pay for it? What type of shit was that?

"Your not kicking me out of anywhere."

"Fine. I'll leave." You scoffed.

"No. You don't get to leave just because you don't want to admit that you are in the wrong. You fucked up! Not me! You don't get to villanize because you wanted to go out and act like a slut!"

"What did you just call me?" Your eyes narrowing, fist balling at your sides.

He froze in place, unable to think of something else to say. Had he really meant that? Or was he just so upset that just anything was flying out of his mouth. But why was he thinking such a thing if he hadn't meant it.

You both stood in silence, thinking of things to do or say. You wanted to cry. Drop to your knees on the ground and just cry. And he wanted to apologize, profusely. He hadn't meant a single thing that escaped his mouth. But telling by the look of hurt on your face it was too late. You already hated him. There was no coming back from this one. His jaw clenched tightly, eyes shutting for a moment before he heard movement again.

You had gotten your phone out of your bag, typing something in. You were texting Stefan, seeing if it was okay for you to spend the night at the boarding house. You knew spending the night at another guys house when this whole fight was about another guy was a bad idea. But you couldn't deal with Caroline, Bonnie,or Elena. You needed to be alone. To think. Not to hear how bad of an idea it was to get involved with him in the first place. You couldn't handle that right now. It wasn't long before you got a text back from your long timed friend.

'Of course, I'm omw, everything ok?'

You didn't respond, instead you just began moving. You went straight to the closet, pulling out your shirts and hoodie for the next few days and a couple of jeans to accompany them.

"What are you doing?" Kai groaned, voice calming than it was second ago. He watched you move to the dresser, pulling out underwear and bras and pajamas almost a weeks worth. "Y/N." He spoke up, tone stern, but you simply ignored him.

You pulled an empty suitcase from under the bed, opening it, throwing your clothes in without second thought.

"Where are you going?" He asked again.

"None of your business." You retorted.

"Can we just talk about this?" He sighed, but you shook your head.

"Why? So you can tell me about how much and slut I am?"

"I didn't mean that."

"Then you wouldn't have said it."

"Y/N-"

"Looks like you don't have to leave after all." You cleared your throated, shutting your suitcase. "I'm already gone."

"Ill sleep on the stupid fucking couch, y/n, just stop this, it's pointless." He scoffed, finding himself almost frightened at the thought of you leaving.

"Oh go for it,'I'm not going to be here to stop you." Your mind was set.

"Your being dramatic-"

"Oh now IM the one over reacting, okay, funny how that fucking works." You scoffed.

"You won't talk to me!"

"I don't want to talk to you! We tried talking! It turned to yelling! And insults! And accusations that aren't true! We try 'talking' every time and for some reason talking just makes things worse." You spat. His face softened at the harsh reality. "This would be different if we didn't fight as often as we do but this is the only thing that's consistent with us! Yelling and arguing, and hurtful comments. Day after fucking day. And you can't stand there and tell me this shit isn't exhausting to you!" Tears threatening to spill down your cheeks.

"Yeah we fight sometimes but that's not all we do! We laugh and smile, and lay in bed all day, because thats what normal people do. They fight and get over it!" He added not liking the direction this conversation was heading.

"I can't do this anymore, Kai!" You snapped. Heart racing, threatening to break through your rib cage and crash to the floor as the words escaped your lips.

"What?" His voice small, unprepared for what you had coming next.

"I can't keep fighting, and debating, I don't have it in me anymore." And there go the tears. "God, I love you so much I was willing to over look how exhausted this made me. How it drained me mentally and emotionally and I can't keep doing that; Ignoring myself." You treaded lightly, still unsure of your own decision. Every bone in you body screaming to shut up. But something in your brain just happened to be stronger.

"W-we can work on it. I'll work on it."

"I-" two beeps of a car horn sounded from outside the house.

Stefan.

Kai's eyes went wide as he shook his head. He couldn't let you leave. Then this would really be over. And he couldn't lose you. Losing you would be worst than what death feels like. And he would definitely know. He needed you. He was hopeless without you.

"No, no,no, wait please," he hurried, stepping front of you as you grabbed your suitcase. "I'll sleep in my car, or in that damn box under any bridge you tell me. Just don't leave. You were right, and it was wrong of me to yell at you and I definitely shouldn't have said what I did. I just- I saw you... with him... and you had the beautiful smile on your face and I couldn't help but feel jealous. And I took that out on you. And I'll work on that. And it'll never happen again." He pleaded, saying what you wanted to hear all night.

"That's all you had to say from the start." You sniffled and he let out a sigh of relief. "But you said it too late." You finished, and he felt his heart drop from his chest.

"No-"

"I have to go-"

"Please don't leave-"

"Please get out of the way.” His hands went up to grip each of your arms, panic ripping through him.

“I am so sorry, just please don’t leave.” His eyes piercing into yours. His voice shaky as he pleaded with you. He hadn’t felt any emotion like he had right now. This fear. This was new. Painful.

“I just need some time.”

You shrugged his hands off walking towards the door, leaving a crumb of your heart behind with every step as it crumbled to pieces. Both of you willingly and desperate enough to say anything just to get what you want at this point. Your hand touching the knob and it’s like you froze in place. This might’ve been the right thing to do, but everything was telling you no. Staying would’ve been way less painful than walking away.

“Y/N, please,” he tried one more time, facing you but you couldn’t do the same. “I love you.” He felt a tear slip down his cheek as he tried holding the rest back.

Your heart had stopped beating completely. The door knob turning with you hand as you opened the door wide enough for you to walk out. You shut it behind you hoping he wouldn’t follow after you. Your cries silent as you walk through your home, tears streaming down your cheeks as you left.

“I love you too”

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