hangingfromapses

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The great part of leaving a strict household is picking and choosing what you weren’t given the option too as a child

moving out of your almond moms house is so weird. am i making my dads sausage gravy recipe that i haven’t had since i was 11? yes. am i also going to whole foods to buy the vegan butter that was a staple in my house even though i’m not vegan just cause i like how it tastes? also yes.

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BOO BOO WOO WOO WOOF WOO WOO. RRRRROO-ROO-ROOORRRR-ROOR-RARUMPF-RUFF. ROOF. ROOF. *sneeze* ROO ROO ROO ROO ROO. RRRRRAAA-ROO-WOO-WOO. BOO WOO WOO. BOO WOO. BOO WOO WOO WOO ROO ROO. ROO ROO. *sneeze* ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

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“Those poor boys”

“She deserves to be punished too.”

“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”

“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”

“She put herself in harm’s way”

“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”

“She ruined their lives.”

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So, going by the idea of "every truly great story has a random Texan" (see: Dracula, His Dark Materials), I asked my Tolkien encyclopedia wife what race/culture in The Lord of the Rings is the Texan equivalent. They got real mad when I suggested the Rohirrim (because horse culture, I didn't actually think that was the answer but I wanted to provoke my wife), and... I'm gonna step aside so my wife can rant about who in LotR is the actual Random Texan.

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Clown bible and Puppet History, the only meaningful interpretations of god to me

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ngl i would love to see ghost quartet as a ballet rn

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Jonathan Harker is just out here thinking about how much his wife would like all the good food he’s eating while traveling, ignoring the overwhelming amount of foreshadowing that keeps following him around.

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Deity who's unacquainted with concept of evolution creating a world with, like, twelve different kinds of creatures, thinking "yes, that's a good number – nice and symmetrical", then going on vacation for a couple million years and being very upset at what's waiting for them when they get back.

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7 March 2023 - 14 Adar 5783

Yes, today is Purim! The festival celebrating the survival of the Jewish people in Persia.

The entire story is recorded in the Book of Esther (Megillat Esther), wherein the Jews Esther and Mordechai defeated the evil Haman’s plot to kill all of the Jews in Persia.

In planning his plot, the Persian official Haman threw Purim (”Lots”) to choose the date, it came up as 13 Adar. However, Esther and Mordechai managed to convince the King not to allow Haman’s plan, and allowed the Jews to fight against their enemies. On the 13th of Adar that year the Jews defeated their enemies, and we celebrate on the next day.

In the walled city of Shushan, the fighting continues on the 14th, and they celebrated on 15 Adar. Because of this, cities which were walled at the time celebrate Purim a day later (this is called Shushan Purim). Observances of Purim include listening to a reading of the Megillah, baking triangle cookies called Hamentaschen (shaped after the hat Haman wore), partying, giving gifts to friends, giving tzedakah (charity), wearing costumes, and joyful partying.

Shushan Purim, Purim in walled cities, begins at sunset tonight.

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happy PRIDE i’m here i’m queer and i believe the land should be given back to the proper indigenous stewards.

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Next time transphobes call trans healthcare "experimental" you can show them this

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I read a thinkpiece that characterised not identifying by your assigned gender as being equivalent to refusing an inheritance, and I'm thinking shit, imagine if it actually worked that way. Some weird old relative you only ever see at Christmas dies under mysterious and implausible circumstances and leaves you their gender in the will.

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"Listeners, as I speak we are winding down to the final hours of a momentous occasion. For the second time, I am a contender for some sort of internet sexy gentleman award. An award for which I will gain nothing but online clout and the value of which--as far as I know--is not fungible in any known countries, dimensions, or time paradoxes. As before, everything comes down to the results of an internet poll. Truly the greatest tool of democracy, with the exception of those neat little 'I voted' stickers."

"But the outcome of this poll is of little concern to me. Because right now the sexiest man I know is at home, fast asleep on our couch. Curled up on his steadily rising chest is a cat that is there but is not there. The TV remote control is steadily slipping out of his hand. He is snoring now, but moments before, that man was watching the Last of Us show before falling asleep. Except not really because zombie stories frustrate him because they 'aren't based in science, Cecil,' and 'I've already synthesized five different antidotes in the event of a zombie outbreak, Cecil.' But he will watch the episodes anyway, because he knows I love zombie flicks, and I am scared of zombie flicks. And he will let me know when I should avert my eyes before a jumpscare is about to happen. How can you get any sexier than that?"

"A wise man at Ace Hardware Store once imparted these wise words: 'Measure twice, cut once.' He said this as he was purchasing a lot of plywood, so I'm assuming he had measured once, realized he had made an error after cutting and had to get more material--but his words still ring true. A poll measured once only reveals a snippet of what makes a sexyman sexy. It does not delve into the depth of legacy, the weight of experience, the height of thirst. Sexiness comes in many shapes and sizes. It takes two to tango, and three to cut a mango. And that's why I never cut my fruit alone."

"Listeners, I hope that after tonight, when all is said and done, you take a moment to look in the mirror, wave to the faceless woman staring back at you, and appreciate the tumblr sexyman that was inside all of us, all along. Good night, Night Vale. Good night. "

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some buttons for the fellow voters out there

Edit: more designs and some info available here :)

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getting a tattoo with sensory issues

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he’s traumatized. he’s an Aquarius. he’s got more love in his heart than he knows what to do with. he’s battling Lyme disease. he takes his coffee black. he named his dog aubergine. he named his cat khoshekh, like darkness. he’s Jewish. he’s weird about mirrors. he has a complicated relationship with his mother. he has a complicated relationship with reality. he can’t pronounce Michigan to save his life. he writes fanfiction. he’s petty. he squeals over baby animals. he thinks spiders are cute. he finds beauty in all things. he’s a bright shining light in a weird, dark little town. he’s a gay character with a gay actor established in a time where it was dangerous to be any flavor of queer. he’s love poured into the shape of a radio host. he’s a tax evader. he’s not very good with social cues. he’s everything and nothing all at once.

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Reasons to vote cecil:

1. He's an aquarius it's his birthday season

2. There's a good chance for him to actually mention this in an episode cmon it would be so funny