hatereadings

[hatereadings]

THIS!!!!! I called it yandere-baiting in a rant once. He started out great, and the way Maas walked it all back/justified it actually made it MORE disturbing, not less.

I’ll do an ACoWaR recap one day, but first I have to get through ToG

maybe i'm talking shit bc i couldn't finish the continuity of acotar and the second book irritated me enough to abandon it but i get sad whenever i think about how much that arrogant self-centered evil version of rhys that is presented in the 1st book is lost or justified for other reasons after all his energy exudes the perfect villain he could be

[hatereadings]

ACOTAR gets called fairy porn which isn't really accurate in terms of smut levels but kind of is scarily accurate in terms of how women are treated

[hatereadings]

Chapter 2, part two

(previous)

“I couldn���t be happier,” she crooned as her jagged nails cut into her palms

Okay I actually REALLY like this line. The defiance, while we’re shown, not told, how pissed she is about his douchebaggery; and the reminder about her broken nails even though she normally likes primping and pampering herself and probably gets regular manicures when she isn’t in a pit.

It’s fitting that this all takes place in a mine, because I feel like I’m really digging through dirt to find these tiny pockets of useful ore. Why can’t the author just be consistent and write like this all the time?

We’re told the average life expectancy is a month but she lasted a year, which, again, I don’t have a problem with; I know it’s unrealistic for her to survive a salt mine longer just because she’s a special protagonist or whatnot (it’d be one thing if she survived in the wild or in a gladiator arena because she was so badass; that might actually be realistic), but like I said, I don’t actually take issue with the wish fulfillment side of the fantasy. Sure, she can be special and survive ridiculously long.

“Quite a mystery, I’m sure.” She batted her eyelashes and readjusted her shackles as if they were silk gloves.

Again, I do actually like her here. Is it realistic for her to have so much spirit after a year in the mines? Idgaf, she’s giving a good account of herself against the shitty Prince.

Chaol and Prince Dorian do the thing where they talk about her again as if she isn’t there, and then Kale gets mad when she doesn’t use the proper title when talking to the Prince. He just gets amused, and then he comes out with this line:

“You do know that you’re now a slave, don’t you? Has your sentence taught you nothing?”

Hooooooly shit.

Does he genuinely think being sentenced to the mines is some kind of character growth opportunity? Like… if it doesn’t kill you, you learn humility/your proper place in society? What is this even implying???

I’m as into redemption arcs as the next person, but his had better be intense to justify how much of a wet turd he seems to be right now.

To her credit, Celaena points out that all you learn in a mine is how to use a pickaxe, which, yeah, one would think that’d be self-explanatory. We then get a story about Celaena’s escape attempt 8 months ago. She killed her overseer and 23 other people (nice), and came less than an inch away from the exit. Then we learn something unbelievably stupid.

“…how far do slaves make it from the mines when they try to escape?” “Three feet,” he muttered. “Endovier sentries usually shoot down a man before he’s moved three feet.”

It turns out, the king of Adarlan ordered Celaena kept alive as long as possible, so that she could suffer longer.

THAT ORDER KILLED 24 PEOPLE!!!!!

Six guards every day, AND this?!?! Literally wtf. If you want to torture someone for a year, just do that! You’re a faux-medieval fantasy king; there’s no way you don’t have dungeons and a guy with a case full of shiny tools.

Im sure the king is a huge dickbag, and his son’s issues are all going to be his fault somehow; but this isn’t just being cruel; it’s being *stupid*. This is some Joffrey-level shit with the “I want to torment this teenage girl so I’ll make the dumbest possible decision over it.” I find it hard to believe his reign lasted as long as it did. Does everyone else in this universe just seriously suck at politics?

At the very least, this does actually explain why she survived so long. Unfortunately, while I'm glad she got an offscreen moment of badassery with the nice body count, we didn't actually see it happen; we were just told that it did. It doesn't count as seeing her do cool things on the page.

Anyway, Celaena tells them that her escape attempt was actually a suicide attempt, which, oof, but understandable. Prince Halberd gets this pitying look and this pisses her off, which, fair! Then we get this gem:

“Do you bear many scars?”…he smiled, forcing the mood to lift as he stepped from the dais. “Turn around, and let me view your back.”

WHAT THE HELL.

Bro WHAT.

Also, Celaena, what? "forcing the mood to lift" NO HE DIDN'T. You told him about your suicide attempt and he thinks he can just be like "ah, that's dark. Let's move on to lighter topics. Let me inspect your body like you're a racehorse. Can I see your teeth?"

And for some bizarre reason, Celaena actually does it, and he goes

"I can't make them out clearly through all this dirt," the prince said, inspecting what skin showed through the scraps of her shirt. She scowled, and scowled even more when he said, "And what a terrible stench, too!"

Look, darling. Paaaahhhhhverty!

Because I'm desperate to find some things to like about this book, I will say that it's nice that the hot female protagonist gets to be all gross and stinky in her intro. Normally that's reserved for men and women have to be pretty and smell like flowers at all times, even when it makes zero sense.

That said, Prince Doorknob has some serious groveling to do after his redemption.

"When one doesn't have access to a bath and perfume, I suppose one cannot smell as finely as you, Your Highness." The Crown Prince clicked his tongue and circled her slowly.

I feel like she's contributing a lot to his worldly education, but it doesn't seem like he's actually taking any of it in. And, honestly, what a wasted opportunity. He could have actually been a really sympathetic character from the getgo if we'd seen this as a moment when his shitty privileged opinions collided with the reality of what his father - and his entire country - was making people suffer. We could have seen him struggling to put on his composed mask but looking around uneasily, maybe feigning callousness with Celaena but refusing to meet her eyes, something like that. Wanting to look away but being forced to confront it, and then leaving all troubled, deep in thought, and maybe taking the opportunity to go out of his way to be kind to Celaena, giving her a proper bath and whatnot. Which could also move their love story forward, since he was spending extra time with her trying to redeem himself more, and she probably had all sorts of thoughts on what he could do with his position and power to make things better for everyone she'd seen suffering.

But, nah, he sees all this and his reaction isn't "Holy hell, what are we doing to people?!" it's "Ew, stinky."

It's realistic, sadly. But it isn't very likeable.

In less than a second, she could get her arms over the prince's head and have her shackles crushing his windpipe.

DO IT.

It might be worth it just to see the expression on Chaol's face.

No, it might be worth it SO YOU CAN ESCAPE, you dingus!!!! A prince is one of the most valuable hostages you can get, and one just walked right up to you! Get your shackles around his throat, threaten to kill him if they don't all lower their weapons and escort you out of the mines, maybe demand a fast horse and some provisions and winter clothes, and tell them maybe you'll drop him off once you get to some border or convenient forest if you're feeling generous. Seriously.

I feel like I need to save this as a reaction image for how much I'm going to be using it throughout this book.

But the prince went on, oblivious to how dangerously close he stood to her. Perhaps she should be insulted.

No, you should just recognize that he's an idiot. Like you and Chaol salad and everyone else in here.

"From what I can see," he said, "there are three large scars--and perhaps some smaller ones. Not as awful as I expected, but... well, the dresses can cover it, I suppose."

Oh, dread! Is this former slave not pretty enough for you?

"Dresses?" He was standing so near that she could see the fine thread detail on his jacket, and smelled not perfume, but horses and iron.

The dialogue tag makes it sound like he's the one wondering what he himself meant when he mentioned dresses. Pro tip - if you're going to write something like that, just put a line break between the quote and the description. Less confusion that way.

Also, someone who smells like horses when he has full access to baths has absolutely zero right to judge others for being stinky.

I get that this is supposed to be some kind of comment on how he isn't a pampered prince but actually does, idk, work or whatever; but given he wears a ceremonial sword and probably had to ride to get here, I don't think this is actually any evidence of that.

Dorian grinned. "What remarkable eyes you have! And how angry you are!" Coming within strangling distance of the Crown Prince of Adarlan, son of the man who sentenced her to a slow, miserable death, her self-control balanced on a fragile edge--dancing along a cliff.

WHY?!

Literally just grab him. What do you even have to lose?

Her on-page behavior contrasts so STUPIDLY much with everything we hear about her that allegedly happened off-page. She's a famous assassin, the best of the best, she killed 24 people in a day, but, nah, THIS is what she balks at, killing a guy who's done nothing but insult her and offered her zero reason to even keep him alive. Because she knows his name and he's kind of pretty, I guess.

Honestly even if she'd given her curiosity about the dresses/what the prince wants from her as a reason she's holding off on killing him, that would have made a tiny bit of sense. It would have been fine. But, no, we don’t get any of that yet. No sensible thoughts, just an empty lil pumpkin stuck on her neck.

"Watch your mouth before I throw you back in the mines," the brown-eyed captain said. "Oh, I don't think you'd do that."

Okay, so now we get the conversation where she's like "Yeah, y'all clearly want something from me, and it's pooooossible it somehow leads to an escape, which is why I'm not going to take my revenge on the king by killing his son." Which (a) should have happened sooner when she first thought about killing him, instead of waiting for paragraphs and paragraphs; and (b) is STILL STUPID, because maybe the prince just wanted to come see the famous assassin in person. And now he's going to leave and you're not going to escape. Whereas you could have escaped FOR SURE if you'd just TAKEN HIM HOSTAGE like pretty much ANY OTHER PRISONER would have done!!!!

Anyway, the prince says he has a proposition for her.

But perhaps his proposition could lead to escape.

You're throwing away a certainty of escape on 'perhaps'?

If she got beyond the wall, she could make it. Run and run and disappear into the mountains and live in solitude in the dark green of the wild, with a pine-needle carpet and a blanket of stars overhead.

It's an interesting dream, and sounds pretty enough; it would be nice to hear more about it and why she wants that, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

She could do it. She just needed to clear the wall. She had come so close before... "I'm listening," was all she said.

Not a terrible chapter hook, but kind of a terrible chapter.

[hatereadings]

Throne of Glass Chapter 2

(previous)

Note: I think tumblr is taking issue with how long this post is, so I'm splitting the chapter in half. This one's the first half.

...

We open back in the same opulent room as before.

"Your Highness," said the Captain of the Guard. He straightened from a low bow and removed his hood, revealing close-cropped chestnut hair. The hood had definitely been meant to intimidate her into submission during their walk. As if that sort of trick could work on her. Despite her irritation, she blinked at the sight of his face. He was so young!

I'm not sure why him removing his hood means it was meant to intimidate her. Unless the idea was that he thought she wouldn't take him seriously if she could see how young he was? In which case -- there's a better way to communicate that.

Captain Westfall was not excessively handsome, but she couldn't help finding the ruggedness of his face and the clarity of his golden-brown eyes rather appealing.

This was the part that made me reconsider whether the Prince was the love interest -- the captain being close to her in years means he's a candidate too.

Somehow I'd forgotten about 2010s YA's penchant for love triangles.

They both wait for Celaena to bow to the prince, she has some defiant thoughts about how she's not going to grovel to him in her last moments, and then

Thundering steps issued from behind her, and someone grabbed her by the neck. Celaena only glimpsed crimson cheeks and a sandy mustache before being thrown to the icy marble floor. Pain slammed through her face, light splintering her vision. Her arms ached as her bound hands kept her joints from properly aligning. Though she tried to stop them, tears of pain welled.

Okay, so... we spent the entire last chapter being told she was deadly, she was badass, she needed six guards to protect everyone else from her, and now... some dude just sneaks up on her and shoves her onto her face?

I realize that some readers might have thought I was being sarcastic when I made my last post. So, to clarify, when I said teenage girls dreamed about being deadly assassins or fearsome mercenaries, that was sincere. And, honestly, that's an extremely valid power fantasy. Good for them.

It's just... this is supposed to appeal to those folks, and yet...

One of my friends called this the Gamora Effect: In the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie, we get told over and over how incredibly deadly and badass and whatnot Gamora is, but then we actually watch the movie, and she somehow fails to win a single fight. She has a three-way fight with Quill and Rocket and Groot, where she gets captured by them in slapstick fashion; she has to get 'rescued' from Drax by Quill, with the implication being that no way she could possibly win a fight against him, because look big guy with buff muscles, even though we were literally told she was trained to kill from birth. She gets rescued by Quill again when she's launched into space without a breathing mask, and then she gets sidelined from the main battle into a girl-on-girl sparring match with her sister, where, somehow, neither of them win, because collateral damage from one of the other fights takes them both out. We don't actually get to see her have a single physically badass moment in that first film. But we're told over and over how deadly and dangerous she is, so I guess we have to believe it, despite the lack of onscreen evidence.

It hasn't been long enough for me to claim that the same thing is happening here, but I'm going to start keeping track of Celaena's actual on-page showing in physical situations, rather than what the narration says about her. So far, we've seen her

get dragged into a room she didn't want to go in by guards, even though she genuinely thought they wanted to kill her and was presumably fighting for her life

get shoved to the floor by a red-faced mustached man - one whom she apparently didn't even notice while she was describing the chandeliers and the stained glass.

Anyway, the guy lectures her on showing respect for the Crown Prince:

"That is the proper way to greet your future king," a red-faced man snapped at Celaena.

What, faceplanting in front of him?

Anyone who's ever tripped in front of their crush, please rejoice. That is, in fact, the proper way to greet your YA love interest. Ruddy-faced man is portrayed as fat and balding, dressed in orange that matches his hair, so we're clearly meant to dislike him (again, 2010s YA; Disney attractiveness logic is in play). I'm guessing he looks something like this:

If she could move her right arm just a few inches, she could throw him off balance and grab his sword...The shackles dug into her stomach, and fizzing, boiling rage turned her face scarlet.

The ellipses aren't skipping over anything; that was present in the text. But this is another hallmark of Maas's that was present in ACoTaR, too: She doesn't fully finish her thoughts. They kind of imply something, but you're left to actually draw the conclusion yourself. Here, Celaena is pissed at this orange man, and she wants to kill him. But... presumably the shackles stop her? Except we don't actually see her try to take any kind of action; she just feels the shackles digging in, which... she would have done anyway, since getting thrown on her face with her wrists in shackles in front of her would have made the shackles... You get it.

I'm not saying we need every move or every thought spelled out or anything. Just... here, specifically, having Celaena try to act but having the shackles surprise her by getting in the way and ruining her attack? That would make what's happening on the page actually explicit to the reader, instead of halfway-implied; and it would solve the Gamora Effect problem -- sure, she's deadly, but she's restrained, and the restraints are working.

The Prince is like, you don't have to do that, and he's super bored. We're told that Tangerine Man is named Duke Perrington, which makes it all the weirder that he somehow managed to sneak up on a trained assassin, and also decided to... attack her? After she killed an overseer and needs all these guards around to prevent her from killing anyone? Whatever, though. Perrington leaves and she gets up.

As she rose, she frowned at the imprint of grit she left behind... But she'd been trained to be an assassin since the age of eight, since the day the King of the Assassins found her half-dead on the banks of a frozen river and brought her to his keep. She wouldn't be humiliated by anything, least of all being dirty.

Does assassin training somehow include not-being-ashamed-of-being-dirty classes? Why are these sentences relevant to the possible humiliation? This is like if I went, "I have been eating cookies since the tender age of three, when I was first left with a box unsupervised. I won't be embarrassed by getting caught with spinach in my teeth during an interview!"

Dorian Havilliard smiled at her. It was a polished smile, and reeked of court-trained charm.

I mean, if I'm describing a love interest's charming smile for the first time, I don't think "reeked" is the verb I'd use, but you do you.

Sprawled across the throne, he had his chin propped by a hand,

Is it just me, or is this kind of weird phrasing? Like, I know he doesn't literally have a severed hand propping up his chin, but... what was the point of wording it like that?

...Yet there was something in his eyes, strikingly blue--the color of the waters of the southern countries--and the way they contrasted with his raven-black hair that made her pause. He was achingly handsome, and couldn't have been older than twenty. Princes are not supposed to be handsome! They're sniveling, stupid, repulsive creatures! This one ... this ... How unfair of him to be royal and beautiful.

You know what, that's actually fair. I'll give Celaena that.

"I thought I asked you to clean her," he said to Captain Westfall, who stepped forward. She'd forgotten there was anyone else in the room.

How romantic. He talks about her like she's a dusty used car, and she's like, wow, the entire world just narrowed down to you and me.

She looked at her rags and stained skin, and she couldn't suppress the twinge of shame. What a miserable state for a girl of former beauty!

We JUST WENT THROUGH your whole career and how that meant you wouldn't be ashamed of anything!!!! It took ONE SENTENCE from a cute boy for you to--

Actually, you know what, that is kind of realistic. I take that back.

At a passing glance, one might think her eyes blue or gray, perhaps even green, depending on the color of her clothing. Up close, though, these warring hues were offset by the brilliant ring of gold around her pupils.

This is pretty and all, but I'm going to skim through the rest of the description because it just doesn't justify that much wordcount.

In short, Celaena Sardothien was blessed with a handful of attractive features that compensated for the majority of average ones; and, by early adolescence, she'd discovered that with the help of cosmetics, these average features could easily match the extraordinary assets.

Honestly? I actually like this. I remember there being a lot of not-like-other-girls YA fiction in the '10s involving being effortlessly attractive without makeup, so it's nice to see a protagonist who doesn't do that. It's also a welcome change from how Feyre apparently didn't like makeup or dresses, but those pesky servants were always forcing it on her, so she had to go around being all pretty and girly.

"And you're Celaena Sardothien, Adarlan's greatest assassin. Perhaps the greatest assassin in all of Erilea."

Did Maas just keyboardsmash to get these names? "Erilea" is just. Terrible.

He rested his elbows on his thighs. "I've heard some rather fascinating stories about you. How do you find Endovier after living in such excess in Rifthold?"

"such excess" you are a LITERAL PRINCE. And are you seriously asking her "how" she "finds" a slave mine???

Oh. Oh, I get it.

This is one of those stories where the love interest starts out spoiled and ignorant, and eventually finds out what atrocities his family perpetuated, and this actually matters to him because the protagonist was one of the victims and she turns out to be really hot, so then he does the bare minimum in rehabilitating his country and the protag forgives him and they bang.

Great.

(next)

[hatereadings]

Throne of Glass

So I first found out about this series because these ACoTaR recaps I was reading mentioned that Sarah J Maas had a previous fantasy series that came out, and the protagonist was an assassin who didn't even kill anyone in the first book. You can check out the recaps here, if you're interested in other people's hate-reads.

The author of those recaps was so appalled by ACoTaR that she's probably never going to read another SJM book, which means that the burden of recapping them has sadly fallen to... well, people who enjoyed the recaps in general, but I think I'm the only one actually willing to do this to myself.

So, here goes! I'm going to start with Throne of Glass, because it was published first, but actually mainly because it's the most readily available at my library (If I have to return it, I might switch to The Assassin's Blade for a bit).

The dedication page is

To all my readers from FictionPress--for being with me at the beginning and staying long after the end. Thank you for everything.

This honestly made me curious enough to look things up, and, whaddya know, this book was originally a story on FictionPress! In 2012, peak fandom, so... credit where it's due, clearly some of us who were on FictionPress back then felt catered to.

That reminds me - I know these books are intended for teenage girls, and I'm going to do my best to respect that and view them from that lens. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that audience or what they need or want to be reading at that time in their lives.

That said, even WITH that caveat, there's going to be a lot of shit to talk about, so buckle up.

Chapter 1

RIGHT AWAY, I have issues with the worldbuilding.

After a year of slavery in the Salt Mines of Endovier, Celaena Sardothien was accustomed to being escorted everywhere in shackles and at sword-point. Most of the thousands of slaves in Endovier received similar treatment--though an extra half-dozen guards always walked Celaena to and from the mines.

How on EARTH is this economical?! If someone is genuinely SO DANGEROUS that they need SIX GUARDS to accompany them everywhere -- how does it make ANY sense to put them to work in a mine?!?!?!

I'm going to ignore the fact that a white author is writing about slavery, because... it was 2012; a lot of us are guilty of Spartacus fanfic. We know better now, is the important part.

That was to be expected by Adarlan's most notorious assassin.

Okay. Some people have pointed out in the past that it doesn't make sense for assassins to be famous. I think that's something that's safe to gloss over in this sort of YA, though. I mean, what teenage girl hasn't wanted to be some kind of universally feared physical badass, whether that's an assassin or a mercenary or a serial killer? It's fine.

Still, if she's really so dangerous and such a Big Deal, then... again, why is she in the mines??? Why isn't she in an impenetrable cell somewhere??? You're literally paying SIX EXTRA full-time workers just to stand around watching her when they could be used to do, idk, anything else? Guarding the royal family, guarding the treasury, going to war against your enemies? This is like... Kingsguard level of security. Not something you'd want to spend on a prisoner.

There's a "hooded man in black" walking next to her. Does this sound like an executioner, or is that just me?

Apparently they take an unnecessarily circuitous route, going around and around in circles because the guy in charge... idk, wants to disorient Celaena? Even though she's been living there for a year? I really hope the people guarding her are supposed to be idiots, so she can seem like a badass genius in comparison; if this is the level of intelligence we're working with throughout the book, I don't know what's going to sustain me through this read.

The guy in the hood apparently introduced himself as Chaol Westfall, Captain of the Royal Guard, and she overheard that when she first saw him. Which might've been nice to include when we, the readers, first see him, but whatever. Apparently he's hiding his face from her to try and intimidate her, which has "five-year-old-boy-tries-to-scare-you-by-donning-a-frankenstein-mask" energy.

Celaena doesn't know why he's come to get her. She notices that her clothes are nearly rags and that her skin is dirty, and reflects that she used to be beautiful. Again, this feels more like YA convention than an actual, realistic response someone would have to being forced to mine salt for a year. Like, I can get having that response to suddenly seeing a bunch of non-miners and feeling the contrast between their clean clothes and your filthy rags, but having that just pop up idly while you're walking around your prison? It's a very hamfisted way of trying to stick in a bit of physical description at the beginning. And we get a full physical description later on, so why even bother?

"You're a long way from Rifthold, Captain," she said, clearing her throat. "Did you come with the army I heard thumping around earlier?" She peered into the darkness beneath his hood but saw nothing. Still, she felt his eyes upon her face, judging, weighing, testing. She stared right back. The Captain of the Royal Guard would be an interesting opponent. Maybe even worthy of some effort on her part.

Personally I would have added a line break after that quote, but that might just be a stylistic choice. I don't really have any bones to pick with the writing here; it seems like this is serving the wish fulfillment that a lot of the target audience really wants - a protagonist so deadly that no one is any match for them. Maybe for a more jaded audience, they'd think, "Mary Sue," and toss the book aside, but we embrace earnest enthusiasm here.

Oh, it'd be nice to see his blood spill across the marble.

Please don't tease. I know there isn't going to be any murder in this book. I can't take the false hope.

She'd lost her temper once before--once, when her first overseer chose the wrong day to push her too hard. She still remembered the feeling of embedding the pickax into his gut, and the stickiness of his blood on her hands and face. She could disarm two of these guards in a heartbeat. Would the captain fare better than her late overseer? Contemplating the potential outcomes, she grinned at him again. "Don't you look at me like that," he warned, and his hand drifted back toward his sword.

Okay, offscreen kill, but maybe I should try to be content with these crumbs.

They passed a series of wooden doors that she'd seen a few minutes ago. If she wanted to escape, she simply had to turn left at the next hallway and take the stairs down three flights. The only thing all the intended disorientation had accomplished was to familiarize her with the building. Idiots.

Celaena gets annoyed when Chaol won't talk to her, which is... kind of dumb? I mean, did you expect him to? You guys are enemies. Just keep up a one-sided banter like a normal prisoner and stop complaining.

She contemplates escape some more, then decides that it'd be too much trouble, so she'll wait. It's very convenient that all the guards are idiots; they've been walking so long that Celaena has the opportunity to infodump some worldbuilding on us. We learn that the kingdom they're in is called Adarlan, and it sends poor people, criminals, and "latest conquests" into the salt mines of Endovier, which looks something like the jail in Les Mis, with misery and whips cracking and all the stereotypical nonsense. Again, this is from over a decade ago; this shit would not fly today. That's not how you handle a discussion of slavery in this country.

Adarlan has banned magic, and anyone accused of practicing gets sent to Endovier.

Eyllwe is apparently a country that's at war with Adarlan, still resisting its rule, and any captured Eyllwe folks also get sent to Endovier. Okay, so... I know Rome did this too, but this is sounding less like Rome and more like Nazi Germany, with the work camps for prisoners. Maas is apparently of Jewish descent, so I'm not going to weigh in on whether that's a problem.

Celaena mentions that she was "betrayed and captured" one night and sent to this place, and then pivots to thinking about whether she's finally going to be executed. I mean, it would make sense; those 6 guards' paychecks have probably cost the crown a tidy amount over the past year.

At last, they stopped before a set of red-and-gold glass doors so thick that she couldn't see through them.

That is a ridiculously fancy door for a mine. Why.

They try to pull Celaena through, she's convinced they're here to kill her and resists, but they pull her in anyway. Uhhhh... what happened to

She could disarm two of these guards in a heartbeat.

?

I remember the inconsistency in ACoTaR. Wasn't expecting it to show up so early here, though.

A glass chandelier shaped like a grapevine occupied most of the ceiling, spitting seeds of diamond fire onto the windows along the far side of the room.

Okay, that's actually a really pretty description. I'd go as far as to say that 'spitting seeds of diamond fire' is genuinely a good turn of phrase. That said...

WHY IS THIS IN A SALT MINE?!?!?!?!

Compared to the bleakness outside those windows, the opulence felt like a slap to the face. A reminder of how much they profited from her labor.

Ah. For symbolism.

In case you were wondering, no, that's not a good enough reason. It makes no sense with the worldbuilding. Why on earth would ANYONE choose to build something so fancy here. Nobody just spends their time thinking, "I'm feeling very evil today. What exceptionally evil project can I spend a great deal of money on to show off just how evil I am? I know! I'll build an opulent room next to a slave pit!"

Also? Nobody is profiting from your labor, Celaena. I don't know how much salt costs, but every day you work costs your overseers a day's wages for each of SIX GUARDS. I don't think there's much profit being turned here.

The captain shoves her in, there's more guards, and then

On an ornate redwood throne sat a handsome young man. Her heart stopped as everyone bowed.

Ah. The love interest.

She was standing in front of the Crown Prince of Adarlan.

And that's the chapter hook!

Two questions:

How did they get the throne in there? I can't tell if it's more ridiculous if they literally had to build a new fancy room with a throne when they heard the prince was coming, or if the prince's entourage carries a giant throne with him wherever he goes so he can sit in it, OR if every single building in Adarlan has to have a Throne Room of sufficient grandeur just in case the Crown Prince decides to stop by. There's just no good explanation for this. (Although from a different perspective, there are only good explanations for this)

We literally just heard an infodump about how Adarlan is a toxic power. Are they really trying to make it believable that one of the leaders of this country is a decent enough dude to be a love interest?

So far, this feels like even more of a mess than ACoTaR was. I'm curious to know if that gets any better over the course of this book, or if it's somehow all downhill from here.

(next chapter)