havenhost - Tumblr blog

[havenhost]

*blink blink* oh-- ok 👉🏼👈🏼 hi I wasn't expecting to be tagged in anything like this-- ok--- um?

Fav color: id say purple but also Red is creeping up on me as a fav 💜❤️

Last song: ....... I mean. I'm playing Rule #34 by Fish in a Birdcage on repeat as I write this so.

Currently reading: it's been a while since I've read an actual book ..... But the last *non-fanfic* thing I've read is a manhwa called Arcane Sniper.

Currently watching: .... Again a few shows -- my top current watch though is my ..... 10th rewatch of MoDao ZuShi -- I'm in a bunch of fandoms tho - not that I'm active much on here for y'all to know that..

Currently craving: chocolate 🤤 and a nice long cuddle session from my partner -- yep that'd be Nice rbn

Coffee or tea: caffeine gives me anxiety -- and I don't rly like the taste of coffee.... I'll say herbal tea ^^

Tagging: .... I talk with literally 2 ppl on here ///// @yourlocalcorviddad -- Eren tagged *me* sooooo-

I was tagged by @hoppkorv Hey thank you for tagging me!! 😊

Rules: answer + tag 9 people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with .

favorite color: Green!

last song: Wanted For Love by Jerry Jeff Walker

currently reading: Song of Susannah by Stephen King (almost done with the Dark Tower series!)

currently watching: I haven't really been watching a lot of shows lately mostly just stuff on youtube and random episodes of Seinfeld. The last full series I watched was The Sopranos and I'm literally already thinking about a rewatch.

currently craving: A deeper connection with the people and world around me. Or something idk.

coffee or tea: I enjoy tea but I'm obsessed with coffee.

Tagging @carmichaelthepolarbear @brian-mays-hair @warrenzevon @someguywriting @tantamount-treason @ninetimesbluedemo @bluehairandproverbs @fr0ggi3b0i (if you'd like to do this!)

[havenhost]

"Fierce Corpses Express In Death What They Repressed In Life" is now one of my favorite MDZS headcanons

you know, if the fiercest mdzs corpses are born of people who are timid and scared and repress anger in life, does that mean that Jiang Cheng would be a total cuddle bunny corpse, rising from the grave and relentlessly following Wei Wuxian and Jin Ling trying to snuggle them?

[havenhost]

The fact that this is all Correct has me boggled. Like. How. How did MXTX come up with that. I just wanna know-

imagine you got drunk for the second time in your life, first time in a decade, and wake up with no memory of anything you did, half naked in bed next to the man you’re secretly in love with. he laughs and tells you that he just took off both your clothes to mess with you, but don’t worry nothing happened. the pieces of the dismembered corpse you’ve been collecting start screaming, and in reaction, the love of your life reaches inside your robe to fish out his flute. after you subdue the corpse with a musical duet, the psychopath you love more than anything starts slapping the dismembered bare torso and talking about how much the dude must have worked out to look this hot. you are Lan Wangji, the most upright, principled member of the strictest clan in the area, how do you deal with the fact that your reaction to this is jealousy?

[havenhost]

*owowowowowowow pain -- so much pain thanks for the TEARS op-*

Thinking how… an alternative to after the nightless city massacre, wwx wasn’t as catatonic and he was aware that lwj was there but kept thinking it was a mirage. Lwj confessing his feelings and wwx just starts crying, sobbing and laughing.

“Ah… Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan… I wish you would’ve told me sooner. It’s too late. You’re too late. You’re too late, you’re too late—“

“Wei Ying—!”

“You’re too late, Lan Zhan. I wish you would’ve told me.” At this point wwx hysterical, “There’s nothing left to love, there’s nothing left. You’re too late… Lan Zhan… I wish you were here… I’ve loved you since…”

“Wei Ying… I’m here. I’m here, please… look at me.” LWJ voice breaks as he caresses the man’s face, finding nothing but the sharpness at the lack of mass. “Come back to Gusu with me. I… I am begging you…”

Wwx shakes his head, tears still streaming freely down his cheeks. “I loved you so much… it’s too late now… you’re too late. Hah, you were right… all this time. I couldn’t control it. I couldn’t… now look what I’ve done… How stupid and arrogant of me, to let myself want to survive… I should’ve d-died when I was tossed in the Burial Mounds—“ a laugh full of hysteria bursts out of his chest, a hunted version of the laugh LWJ had come to love. “I should’ve died… no one would’ve missed me…”

“That’s not true—!” LWJ insists, holding his face more firmly, dull silver eyes looking at him. The instantly shatter, wwx shaking his head violently.

“Shut up… just shut up. Shut up shut up shut up!” Wwx screams, attempting to push the other man away. “Every time… e-every time you use his face! Haven’t you taken enough from me…?!”

Wwx finally manages to shove a stunned Lwj away from him, hands instantly flying up to cover his ears. “Stop taking his face… stop using his voice… you think I don’t know?! Why would Lan Zhan be here! Stop it stop it stop it stop it! I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it! Please, just get lost! Leave me alone, please!”

The sobs wrenching from his chest make the Lan cultivator fall to his knees, but not without pulling the love of his life in a tight embrace. He wouldn’t run away, not anymore. He knew where he belonged… so he held him tighter, the earth shattering wails growing louder the more he begged for death.

[havenhost]

Things I disagree with about fanon!WWX:

• Silly goofy dumb - he wears his class clown mask the same way NHS wears his oblivious mask. WWX acts like and believes that his only purpose is to serve others, and a *big part* of that is making sure *no one else sees how he actually feels*. AKA: Everything Is Fine, Look I'm Smiling. He's *not* dumb. At all. He's one of the *smartest cultivators* in *generations*. Despite LQR's dislike of him, he *actually knows the content of his classes*. He's *not* LQR's single black mark bc he didn't learn anything, but because *despite* being so knowledgeable and straight-up clever and intelligent and forward thinking, he refused to follow the societal rules of Cloud Recesses.

• WWX has bad handwriting - NO HE DOESNT?? WWX *needs* to have good handwriting to make functional talismans, because they rely heavily on penmanship. See: WWX's review of LJY's spirit attraction flag. To make powerful talismans, he needs to have *precise* and *careful* control over his brush, and he *does*. Even in the throws of madness close to the end of his life, the rituals, talismans, and inventions he wrote about (that the sects found) are Very Legible. The idea that WWX has chicken scratch handwriting -- do you think Yu-Furen would allow someone living under her roof to have poor handwriting??? Also - man is an artist. Did u see that pic he drew of LWJ in the library?? He's *precise* and well-practiced and controlled enough for the picture to look *immaculate* in just a very short time.

(feel free to add to my list u.u)

Wei Wuxian constantly getting mischaracterized as being unintelligent in fanon is going to end up being my villain origin story

[havenhost]

Genuinely, everyone is LUCKY LWJ is a Lan.

No seriously, no other sect enforces self regulation so intensely. This man's pure control over his actions is the ONLY reason a) he wasn't cast out with WWX or b) he didn't actually kill so many people.

Do you know how many people he actually wanted to straight up kill in those discussion conferences? How many times did he measure his breathing and *not* immediately grab his sword and cause a massacre?

If LWJ was any sect but Lan, he would have absolutely lost it.

"But Haven, he's notoriously bad with self control"

Because he genuinely has *so much more to control* -- do you have any clue how *deeply and intensely* LWJ *feels* things??? As soon as an emotion makes itself known to him, that's his *entire being*. He wears his carefully-contained rage and sorrow as regularly and as neatly as his white Mourning robes.

So yea- his willpower is *insane*

"I know him best." No the fuck you don't. Maybe his teenage version, but not this grown-ass man who silently suffered the last sixteen years. Do you know why? Because every living soul in the entire Cultivation World hates the only person Lan Zhan loves. His soulmate is openly despised by everybody, and he's forced to stay still and not kill every motherfucker who said a vile word about Wei Ying. Again, Lan Zhan's willpower and patience never cease to amaze me. Can you imagine if he got drunk and was like, 'fuck you all', starting a killing spree after?

[havenhost]

Wwx: *brings alcohol into the Cloud Recesses*

Lwj: we're already outside, I guess it's time for me to beat your ass

Wwx: *doesn't immediately cower or lose*

Lék: *heavy breathing* o k --

*literally the next day*

Lwj: *sees wwx outside at night* OK TIME TO FIGHT LETS GO

hot take lan wangji would absolutely for sure scrap all day every day no hesitation whatsoever. the only reason he doesn’t is bc no one is stupid enough to piss him off (until wei ying ofc). you get one glare, maybe two if he’s feeling patient, and then it’s instant hands. truly a miracle wwx did not take more of a beating when he was at his most insufferable. in the library w the magazine lwj literally said catch me outside so i can beat ur ass. he’s soooooo ready to challenge any and everyone he meets. jzx (either of them tbh) says literally Anything and bichen is OUT. blades at DAWN. AND noon. and you know what, fuck it, blades at dusk too. in middle school he fought wen xu and all his goons One time when he was like 12 and he beat their asses so bad that shit followed him all the way to college. legendary. everyone knows lwj is in love w wei ying bc of the lack of duels. anyone else would certainly have been punched in the face. but no wwx just gets sideye. and ignored. which only ENCOURAGES him. in fact if anyone else tries to put a stop to wwx shenanigans lwj glares at YOU. everyone says ah yes, face of jade, so serene. meanwhile on the inside he is full of lust and also more importantly rage. i Love him. he said sometimes violence is the solution actually. but only when i do it. pristine.

[havenhost]

the wildest thing about lan wangji is the way he’s immediately enraged at his own feelings for wei wuxian. because we’ve seen wei wuxian fall in love slowly and surely, right? he goes from a quick interest to an oblivious attraction to liking lan wangji then being infatuated after his return to life, then to straight-up loving the guy intensely. we watch him develop his sexual and romantic attraction equally.

but lan wangji’s different. from the very first second he’s desperately smitten — all it took was one sly smile and he was going through the four stages of love: the desire to marry, kiss, bed and die with him. and he’s so goddamn outraged, because how dare this troublemaker trespass into his house and steal his heart so easily??

he was so conflicted that he didn’t see any other alternative if not to unsheathe his sword and fight the hell out of that idiot. feelings?? for a rebellious teenager?? right in front of my clan’s three thousand rules??? not today, devil.

[havenhost]

LWJ has a rly deadpan sense of humor and I love him for it

lan wangji is the funniest bitch ever and we don't talk about it enough

[havenhost]

yiling laozu was never a TOP he was MOMMY and a MILF and in this essay i will

[havenhost]

And what about "That could have been"? Something you're *sure*, in the moment, that it's a deer, but upon remembrance, you're suddenly unsure. Unsure if it *was* a deer, or.. maybe not? Did it actually have two eyes? Or ears at all?

What's so terrifying about *this* is the lack of reliance on our own senses and memory. Has my memory been tampered with? Was I under an illusion at the time, and it's lifted enough for me to remember it for how it was, without the mask? Can I trust what I remember, or can I trust how I see things in the moment?

There is a specific and terrifying difference between “never were” monsters and “are not anymore” monsters

“The thing that was not a deer” implies a creature which mimics a deer but imperfectly and the details which are wrong are what makes it terrifying

“The thing that was not a deer anymore” on the other hand implies a thing that USED to be a deer before it was somehow mutated, possessed, parasitically controlled or reanimated improperly and what makes THAT terrifying is the details that are still right and recognizable poking out of all the wrong and horrible malformations.

[havenhost]

Wei Wuxian would be cackling while watching 🤭🤭🤭

Lan Jingyi to Jin Ling

[havenhost]

Ok but was it Wangji or Wuxian who told him to apologize? 🤭🤭

Lan Jingyi to Jin Ling

[havenhost]

i think the most ridiculous mdzs fandom wank i’ve been seeing lately is the discussion of ~consent~ in regards to the wwx/jc core transfer. i just wanna grab you all by the lapels while falling to my knees crying and shaking and begging you to engage with the text on its own terms instead of ramming it into whatever ideological issues you’re inundated with at the moment. there is so much joy to be found in approaching a text this way! please trust me! take my hand and dive in without those particular goggles pleeeeeaaassse

[havenhost]

Me reading this: But wait xi- ... No, Hua Cheng is- .. but what about she- ...... *Nope*.... Wangji- no- ...

Touche, op *tips hat in salute*

All MXTX novels are just about one outwardly put-together, inwardly screaming mess of a man and his emotional support war criminal.

[havenhost]

I can only see Lan Sizhui standing in the background, wishing they would get along For Once 🤭🤭

Lan Jingyi to Jin Ling

[havenhost]

Xichen, Wanyin, and Huaisang were all in the club w a y back when they were in the cloud recesses - but not .. hugging 🤭🤭🤭 Xichen, at least, knew of Wangji's Feelings™️ and was there the Whole Time 🤭🤭

Welcome to the club of third wheel, in law uncle lan qiren 🥳🥳