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[hazyspiderwebs]

Moments like these aren’t meant to be forever

“I have cancer.” The words felt so foreign coming out of your mouth. JJ let out a shocked laugh “Baby that’s not something to joke about.” “I’m not joking JJ.” You replied voice barely above a whisper.

JJ tried to be supportive but he was still somewhat in denial. He tried to keep living life the same way with you often having to remind him you couldn’t do as much. He adjusted as well as he could. But he just couldn’t bring himself to believe the love of his life was so sick.

One day JJ was talking to the rest of the Pogues about how you weren’t doing as much. “JJ she’s sick! She doesn’t have the energy to go on a goose hunt for gold we don’t even know exists.” Kiara spoke while throwing her hands in the air. “Why don’t you just do movie nights and maybe the occasional game night?” Pope suggested.

JJ took his friend’s advice and got way too much of your favorite snacks and struggled to smuggle them through your window. JJ knew you wouldn’t feel like answering the door. And JJ being JJ he loved crawling through windows. He would always do a special double knock before making his grand entrance. You tried to stifle your laugh this time seeing JJ struggle with what looked like half the store coming through your window. JJ felt his heart flutter hearing your laugh as weak as it was.

“I present the Y/N buffet.” JJ attempted a fancy accent as he showcased the snacks. He handed you your favorite drink and proceeded to empty the snacks all over the bed. He laid down beside you and put your favorite movie on. As you focused on the movie JJ couldn’t help but look at you in awe. Just seeing you smile and enjoying your favorite movie made him smile. The thought of you not being there brought tears to his eyes. He sniffled quietly and wiped his tears before you could see them. He put his arm around you and cuddled closer desperately wishing he could freeze that moment in time.

JJ and the Pogues made it a point to spend as much time with you as possible. It was obvious to the others that you weren’t getting better. JJ however was oblivious.

He did his special knock and crawled through your window. As he came in he was shocked to see your room pitch dark. He assumed you were just in the shower or something and didn’t think too much of it. Until your mom came in. JJ was about to open his mouth to make small talk before your mom cut him off. “Oh honey.” She simple said before breaking down and crying on his shoulder. JJ couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to believe it. The tears uncontrollably fell down his face as he hugged your mom. An unspoken bond had formed between the two.

Once your mom collected herself and walked out the sound of JJ’s sobs could’ve been heard around the neighborhood. As he sat on your bed memories of the two of you flooded his mind. Evidently your mom had told the others as they soon filled your room to comfort JJ.

[hazyspiderwebs]

You’re not alone

“Hello?” JJ answered basically still asleep. Until he heard your sniffles. “He cheated on me JJ.” JJ was suddenly wide awake and seeing red. He never liked your now ex boyfriend and he would tell anyone that would listen.

As the two of you grew up together JJ not liking ANY of your boyfriends was one of the common themes. So much so that he started joking that you had the worst taste in guys. And your ex was somewhat proving that true.

JJ made it to your place in record time. You were surprised to hear he rang the doorbell. As you answered the door you understood why. The sight of JJ balancing candy and chips and drinks on his arms and somehow fitting an already open bag of his favorite candy between his teeth and none falling out was quite entertaining. “My candy man.” You greeted amused. JJ rolled his eyes and fake pouted at your lame joke before setting everything down on the counter.

JJ finally got a good look at you and his heart broke for you. As much as he joked about you having bad taste. A part of him always hoped you would turn to him. He shook the thought out of his head for the time being. You’re going through a breakup now is not the time for him to be feeling sorry for himself he reasons in his mind.

He snatched whatever candy you had out of your hand and took a bite for himself. When you have him a look he just shrugged “I gotta make sure it’s not poisoned or anything.” He finished that one and grabbed another one “for good measure you know. And good news they’re not poisoned!” “Or they are poisoned but it’s a long lasting poison and we die together.” You counter back.

JJ was somewhat taken aback by your response “mm well you got me there. But what a way to go out.” That was one of the things you loved about JJ if you had said that to anyone else they would’ve wondered about your mental state. But with JJ you could pretty much say anything to him and not feel judged. “If you could choose how would you wanna go out?” You asked intrigued while taking a chip out of his hand. He absentmindedly shifted the chip bag to where you could both share it as he thought of his response. “Hmm in a cool way like a human rocket launcher or something like that. What about you?” “I don’t know. I just want it to be peaceful.” JJ rolled his eyes.

The night continued on with you and JJ asking each other questions and your typical shenanigans. As the sun started to come up you and JJ were starting to fall asleep. JJ suddenly got serious “Y/N you know you’re never alone right? I’ll always be here for you no matter what.”

“Thanks ba- JJ.” You corrected yourself in shock. JJ obviously picked up on what you were about to call him. “Do you wanna go out together sometime?” JJ’s question caught both of you by surprise. “I’d love to JJ.” You responded happily.

[hazyspiderwebs]

Earlier today I was actually thinking about doing an alternate ending where the wedding did get interrupted 👀

Silent cry

As you read the invitation in your hand you felt like you got hit by a truck. An audible gasp escaped your lips as you processed what you were reading. JJ was getting married and it wasn’t to you.

You and JJ were on and off for years until it finally became too much for both of you. But all you wanted in life was his love. You had brought up marriage several times over the course of your relationship. Sometimes he would have an excuse. Sometimes he would just tell you what you wanted to hear. But most of the time his response was “you know I’m not that kind of guy.” A part of you had desperately hung onto the hope that he would just wake up one day and change his mind and the two of you would live happily ever after.

As you were getting ready for his wedding it still felt surreal to you. This had to be a nightmare. You didn’t even really know why you were going. You told yourself it was for closure. But JJ himself said he wasn’t the marriage type so would he even go through with it?

“Y/N I’m so glad you came!” JJ suddenly greeted you with a hug. “Yeah of course. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” You smiled back while hiding your true feelings. He left as quick as he came up to you. It was a bittersweet feeling seeing him so happy. It was a happiness you knew he never felt with you. And in that moment it did provide closure in a stinging way. You could never provide JJ the happiness he needed or deserved. While your heart still ached at the realization he’d never be your husband you were glad he found his happiness.

[hazyspiderwebs]

Silent cry

As you read the invitation in your hand you felt like you got hit by a truck. An audible gasp escaped your lips as you processed what you were reading. JJ was getting married and it wasn’t to you.

You and JJ were on and off for years until it finally became too much for both of you. But all you wanted in life was his love. You had brought up marriage several times over the course of your relationship. Sometimes he would have an excuse. Sometimes he would just tell you what you wanted to hear. But most of the time his response was “you know I’m not that kind of guy.” A part of you had desperately hung onto the hope that he would just wake up one day and change his mind and the two of you would live happily ever after.

As you were getting ready for his wedding it still felt surreal to you. This had to be a nightmare. You didn’t even really know why you were going. You told yourself it was for closure. But JJ himself said he wasn’t the marriage type so would he even go through with it?

“Y/N I’m so glad you came!” JJ suddenly greeted you with a hug. “Yeah of course. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” You smiled back while hiding your true feelings. He left as quick as he came up to you. It was a bittersweet feeling seeing him so happy. It was a happiness you knew he never felt with you. And in that moment it did provide closure in a stinging way. You could never provide JJ the happiness he needed or deserved. While your heart still ached at the realization he’d never be your husband you were glad he found his happiness.

[hazyspiderwebs]

Drunken dial

“I don’t know man I think I made a mistake. I haven’t stopped thinking about Y/N since she left.” You felt like your heart stopped beating for a second. You had absentmindedly answered your phone while you were still somewhat asleep. JJ’s words now had you wide awake. “Really? Then how come you’re with a new girl every week or every day?” JB asked equally as stunned as you. JJ sighed before responding “I think I’ve been trying to find her in everyone else. But now I’m realizing that’s never going to happen.”

You quickly hung up the call so JJ wouldn’t realize you could hear him. And so you could process what just happened. You glanced over at your clock to see that it was 2:45. Which made even more sense to you. That was usually the time JJ would suddenly start really feeling his emotions. His words kept replaying in your mind. You usually psychoanalyzed everything but how do you psychoanalyse something when it’s so abundantly clear.

Your relationship with JJ was one of the best relationships you had been in. Until he suddenly overreacted to a petty argument and you upped his pettiness and left everything and everyone. You moved to a new state and started a whole new life. Well attempted to anyway. Your new life was lonely and miserable. And you had been wondering like JJ if you had made a mistake too.

And just like that you had a one way ticket back to your old friends and your old life. You wound up at JJ’s front door before you even realized it. You debated about knocking knowing there was a slim chance he’d even be home. As you were in the middle of trying to decide on what to do the door opened.

“Y/N?” JJ said your name barely above a whisper almost scared he was dreaming and that you would fade away again.

“J” you repeated his name with the same fragility that he said yours.

You both just stood there taking in each other before engulfing the other one in a hug.

“I’m sorry” you both apologized at the same time.

[hazyspiderwebs]

“Y/N get behind me.” JJ whisper-yelled at you. You froze in panic while JJ stood in front of you. You watched in defenseless horror as the bullet made contact with his body. As it made contact JJ managed to counter strike in the same direction. You knelt down beside him and pushed near his stomach in an effort to stop the bleeding while you waited for an ambulance. JJ looked down at you with a smirk. “I could get used to this.” You rolled your eyes and laughed to yourself. “Really JJ that’s what your thinking about right now?” “Being taken care of by my beautiful girlfriend is making me feel some type of way.” He responded with a wink.

As you waited in the hospital your mind was left racing. Was the search for gold still worth it at this point? The scene kept replaying in your mind. Someone was trying to kill JJ and they came close to their goal. “Y/N are you okay?” Pope’s voice broke you out of your thoughts. “I- um. No no I’m not okay. They tried to kill him.” Your own words were enough to make you breakdown. Not knowing what else to do Pope and the rest of the Pogues hugged you.

As you walked to JJ’s room you weren’t sure what to expect. You walked into a very groggy JJ absentmindedly flipping through tv channels. His face lit up as he saw you walk in. You couldn’t help but notice his heart rate went up as he saw you too. “Baaaabe please lay down with me.” Your heart felt like it melted. Which was becoming a frequent feeling when JJ was involved. As you laid beside him you started subconsciously running your fingers through his hair. JJ responded with a quiet hum as he started falling asleep. It wasn’t long before you fell asleep too. When the Pogues came in to visit they couldn’t help but aww at the site infront of them. Pictures were taken that would definitely be used as blackmail against JJ later.

[hazyspiderwebs]

You were currently still daydreaming about the first kiss you and JJ shared. A text notification broke you out or your daydream. “Let’s go out.” JJ was known for spontaneously making plans but this time was different. He was actually asking you out on a date.

As you got to the dock you were surprised to see JJ with all of the Pogues accompanying him. You tried to hide your disappointment. “Y/N!!” JJ excitedly greeted you as he helped you into the boat. His hand held yours as you steadied yourself. You noticed his hand lingered for longer than normal but you tried to push the thought aside. As you were mentally at war with yourself JJ handed you a beer well his beer specifically. You wanted to just forget the stresses of life so you ended up finishing the rest of JJ’s beer in one sip as he watched in amazement. “Atta girl Y/N! I’ll get another one.”

You lost track of how many beers you and JJ split. What you weren’t expecting was to end up at a kegger. The Pogues split up and you followed Kie as she introduced you to some other people. As the night went on you got up to walk around and stretch your legs a bit. As you turned a corner you suddenly saw JJ kissing another girl. Your heart completely dropped. You normally weren’t a confrontational person but the alcohol suddenly gave you some courage. You could feel the heat rising through you as your anger steadily built up the closer you got to him.

“JJ what the hell?!” You asked followed by a light smack to his head. “OW what the hell was that about?” JJ asked as confused as you with his teeth clenched. “Really JJ? A touron? I expected more from you.” “Well that seems like a you problem.” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his childish remark. “I thought we were a thing.” You accidentally let the words slip out that you had so carefully been trying to hold in. “Why would you think that? You know better than anyone I don’t believe in labels Y/N.” His last sentence followed by saying your name felt like a million stabs directly to your heart. “Yeah you’re right I shouldn’t have expected anything from you. Enjoy your touron.”

JJ’s words echoed in your head as you made the long trek back home. A voice suddenly calling your name brought you back to reality. “Y/N are you okay?” Topper asked genuinely concerned. Until now you had been completely oblivious to your own tears. “Um yeah I’m fine what’s up?” You asked trying to shift the conversation away front the obvious. Topper could sense something was up but he knew better than to question it. The two of you never really interacted that much. Your friend groups were rivals so naturally you usually avoided eachother.

“Do you want me to take you home?” He asked finally breaking the silence between the two of you. “Please” you responded with your voice barely above a whisper. “Are all guys shallow?” Your question caught Topper off guard. He glanced back at you before looking back at the road. “I think that depends on who you associate with.” “A guy that doesn’t believe in labels apparently.” “Oh. That’s definitely code for when a guy wants to keep his options open. I would recommend not staying around that kind of guy personally.”

The rest of the car ride was silent with the radio serving as background noise. After Topper parked he looked over at you and his heart broke for you. “Hey if you ever want to hang out with me and my friends here’s my number.” You saved his number and text him your name so he’d have your number. The two of you talked some more and he noticed you were getting tired. “Hey go get some sleep.” “But I don’t want tonight to end.” You pleaded. “I promise this won’t be the last night we talk.” His words made your heart skip a beat. You told him to text you when he got home. 10 minutes later he sent you a smiley face indicating he was home safely.

[hazyspiderwebs]

Just checking in

JJ suddenly getting distant wasn’t unusual in your relationship. At first you were really confused and upset but gradually you realized there was a pattern. It was usually an indication that his emotions were too big for even him to understand. You wanted to respect his need for space but you desperately wanted him to know that you cared.

JJ opened the text that lit up his screen. “Hey Babe! I’m just checking in to tell you I love you and I’m proud of the man that you are. And I have your favorite snacks waiting for a movie marathon whenever you’re ready.”

His heart fluttered as he read your words. A stray tear dropped onto his phone screen. He wiped his phone screen and rushed over to your place. In his excitement he tripped over a bush in your yard. He was oblivious to the blood dripping down his face as he approached your door.

You jumped at hearing a knock on your door. You weren’t expecting JJ to come this early. Your smile faltered as you answered the door and saw the blood. “JJ what happened?” You asked as you reached up to the source of the blood. JJ’s eyes widened when he saw the blood on your hand. “I did trip on the way here but I didn’t feel pain or anything.”

You rushed him inside and led him to the bathroom. JJ watched as you got your medical kit out. “This may hurt a little bit.” You warned before spraying the medicine. “Pfft that’s no match for- ahh.” You tried to stifle your laugh since he was in pain. You stuck a bandaid on and ruffled his hair over the bandaid.

“I don’t deserve you.” He spoke above a whisper while looking down. You gently lifted his chin and looked into his eyes “baby we deserve each other. You are deserving of love especially my love.” JJ smiled at the end of your sentence. “I just feel like I don’t contribute enough to our relationship.” “JJ you contribute so much more than you know. You’re the one person I feel safest with. And you contribute greatly to my happiness. I love being able to call you my man. And no relationship is ever going to be 50/50 and that’s okay. I love you and I love our relationship.”

“Thank you. I love you too.” He got up and hugged you. A content sigh escaped his lips as he steadied his breathing to match yours absentmindedly. “Of course. Now let’s go start our movie marathon I may have started eating some of the snacks already.” JJ gasped dramatically and put his hand over his heart. “You traitor! How could you?”

[hazyspiderwebs]

Being best friends with Felix and having a joint playlist called “Delulu hours” and gushing about your current crushes while screaming singing karaoke in between sounds like the best thing ever

[hazyspiderwebs]

Need a hand?

• He broke his arm and reluctantly he was letting you take care of him (he had no choice anyway)

• He would exaggerate his pain in an obvious way just for you to dote on him more

• After lunch one day you happened to glance up at him and noticed his stubble

• “Hey can I help you shave?” You asked nervously barely above a whisper

• He turned his attention away from his book and glanced down at you

• Seeing your excitement made his heart melt

• “Of course”

• As you applied the shaving cream you couldn’t help but laugh at the white beard now on your boyfriend’s face

• Naturally Lee Know just rolled his eyes at you and smiled to himself

• After you finished you couldn’t help but stare at his beauty

• “How badly did you mess up?” He asked seeing the sparkle in your eyes

• “I shaved off one of your eyebrows”

• “You’re going to pay for that” he responded in such a sweet tone you forgot he just threatened you

[hazyspiderwebs]

Fake boyfriend

“I need you to be my fake boyfriend!” You spoke quickly as you burst through JJ’s door.

“What?” JJ asked as he choked on his beer.

“My ex is back in town.” Your words sent a chill down JJ’s spine as he remembered your ex. Needless to say JJ was more than happy to help you avoid your ex. He was more or less doubling as your fake boyfriend and your bodyguard.

A few months into it JJ had your schedule completely memorized. As soon as you clocked out for work he was calling you.

“Hey Baby” his words suddenly made your heart skip a bit. Somewhere along the way the line between what was fake and what’s real was starting to blur. “Hey J what’s up?” You finally responded. “Do you have plans tonight? I wanna take you somewhere.” “No I don’t have anything planned.” “Dress kinda formal, I’ll pick you up at 6. Love you bye.” Before you could respond he had already hung up. You didn’t want to overthink it too much but that “love you” seemed different than the others.

You stared at the same clothes in your closet wondering what “kinda formal” even meant. You finally decided to stop overthinking it and went with a dressy shirt and some jeans. You couldn’t help but keep replaying your previous phone call with JJ. The two of you had been fake dating for months but why did this one feel so different. And was JJ feeling it too or was it all in your head? A familiar knock at your door pushed your thoughts away. You were glad to see JJ was dressed similar to you indicating you were in fact dressed “kinda formal.”

“Hey M’lady” JJ offered his hand as he completely butchered the attempt of a British accent making you laugh.

JJ took you to a fancier restaurant than normal and suddenly it made since why he had been working so much more lately. “J you really didn’t have to bring me here.” His smile dropped “Do you not like it here?” He asked sincerely and started to look around to make sure your ex wasn’t around. “No I love it! It just feels expensive.” You responded sheepishly. “Oh don’t worry about that baby girl.” He responded with a low voice and a wink at the end.

“Babe this is by far the best food I’ve ever had in my life!” You exclaimed happily. JJ just stared happily back at you with a hint of love in his eyes. And suddenly the waitress came back with your favorite dessert and said a quick “congratulations.” As you looked down at the decorated dessert you noticed the writing “Happy 6 months!”

“Y/N I love you”

“I love you too J”

[hazyspiderwebs]

Panicked

As you walked around the empty house your heart was beating faster with every turn you encountered. You were helping JJ and the rest of the Pogues in looking for clues leading to the gold. Unfortunately that meant trespassing a lot of trespassing. “Guys we gotta go someone’s coming!” Pope yelled out leading everyone into a frenzy. JJ was shuffling around the room with you. As your adrenaline kicked in you pushed him and through yourself out of the closest window.

“Y/N what the hell?” JJ asked confused lying on the ground.

“Sorry I panicked.”

“So you pushed me out of a window?”

“In my defense I thought it would be the quickest way out and it was.” You replied with a nervous smile at the end. JJ couldn’t help but laugh thinking about it “You’ve been around me too much I probably would’ve done the same thing to you.”

You and JJ were affectionately known as the clumsiest couple on the island.

[hazyspiderwebs]

Stood up

You were a tourist on the island and JJ was a waiter at one of the few restaurants there. One of the Kooks asked you out on your first night. As you were waiting you couldn’t help but notice the cute waiter. You felt your heart flutter as he walked by. JJ was known for not caring too much for the touristy type but he wasn’t blind. After five minutes of waiting he finally came back and got your drink order. He nodded sideways in reference to the other menu and the empty chair that was across from you. “Maybe he’s running late?” You replied as more of a question. JJ nodded and walked off to tend to his other tables. Little did you know he didn’t have any other tables and was currently judging the guy that was supposed to accompany you.

After setting your drink down he asked you what the guy looked like. “Oh that’s the island flirt. He has 3 dates a day at least with a different woman every time. What made you interested in him?” JJ asked the last part with clear disgust laced in his voice. “I don’t know. Nothing better to do?” You responded again still not sure of your own choice. “I may be able to change that.” He replied with a wink. “By the way there’s only a handful of things I would actually recommend eating from here.” He spoke in a hushed tone and subtly pointed to what he recommended. “Ah the third one you pointed at sounds good.” “You have good taste. That’s my favorite.” He replied with a wink.

At JJ’s request you managed to eat your food slow enough that you finished just before he could clock out. The two of you quickly hit it off and spent his shift with mainly sarcastic banter. JJ happily showed you his favorite spots and some of his hideouts. “What else is there to do here for fun?” “Why don’t you meet me here at 10 in the morning and find out?” He countered back.

You ended up spending your entire trip with JJ and his friends. JJ walked you to where your boat was waiting. “Ya know I’m glad what’s his face never showed up for your date.” JJ said with a smirk that you couldn’t help but laugh at. “I am too.” “Frick I’m really going to miss you.” JJ spoke as he hugged you. You were pretty sure you could feel a few of his tears on your shirt but he’d never admit it. You hugged him back and tried to take as much in as you could. “I’ll be back in a few months.” You reassured him as you both broke the hug. “I know. But I want you here now and forever.” He replied practically pouting. It felt like your heart was breaking seeing him like that but you had no choice but to go home. Or did you?

[hazyspiderwebs]

What could’ve been

You had a day off with nothing important to do. So you decided to rewatch your favorite movie and to have a drink or two to go along with it. As you sipped your drink your mind went back to him. Normally you tried to push the thoughts back but tonight you couldn’t help but give in. There was one memory in particular you couldn’t help but indulge in.

Wilbur could tell you were struggling to adjust to living alone in a new city by yourself. He had been there himself so he knew the helpless feeling you were going through mixed with your desire to be independent. He invited you over just to watch a movie and chill for a bit. As you got comfortable on his couch he threw a blanket over you and tried to hide his sympathetic look. The two of you stayed in a comfortable silence as the movie played. As the movie progressed the plot got more confusing. Wilbur explained what he could to you before admitting he was just as lost as you were.

After the movie you and Wilbur talked for a couple hours. As you both started yawning more Wilbur dreadfully told you it was getting late and that you should probably go home. A groan escaped your lips as you agreed with him. Wilbur laughed at your reaction and made you promise to text him when you got home.

You and Wilbur didn’t talk much anymore. And you weren’t quite sure why. All of a sudden it seemed like there was an unexplainable wedge between the two of you. Just the thought of reaching out to him felt wrong now. You sighed as the memory replayed in your mind. Wilbur would always be your favorite what if.

[hazyspiderwebs]

Backup plan

Everyone knew the day you and JJ met that he fell and he fell hard. But you were in a weird in between of adjusting to your newfound independence and also your friend setting you up with one of her friends from out of state. You weren’t even used to getting one guys attention so now that you had JJ’s and a mystery guy that was waiting to be set up with you everything felt odd. A tug of guilt would come up all along when you and JJ were hanging out. But you tried to block it out knowing you weren’t doing anything wrong. You had made it very clear to him friends and friends only. And you excitedly told him about your upcoming meeting with mystery man. Your friend had managed to send you a picture of him leading you to admire him in front of JJ without realizing it at first.

“Dang I know I’m not the best looking but you’re all over him.” JJ’s words caused another wave of guilt to hit you. You tried to ignore his comment and changed the subject. As you counted down the days everyone around you noticed you were getting more and more excited. Kie was listening intently as you went over more details of your itinerary. She tried to be happy for you but her smile faded some. “I’m happy for you y/n really but are you sure you really want to go all the way there on your own?” The way she worded the sentence reminded you of JJ’s concern which immediately sparked your suspicion.

“Did JJ tell you to talk me out of it?” You asked cutting right to the chase. Kie sighed “Yeah he’s really worried about you ya know. We all are but him more so than others.” “I don’t know what’s going to happen while I’m gone Kie. And that’s the exiting part. I may fall in love with my future husband. I may get my heart absolutely shattered. It might be something in between who knows. But I just want to see what happens is that so wrong?” Kie gave a half smile in response and decided to leave the subject alone.

Your stomach was full of butterflies the entire plane ride. You had planned on sleeping on the flight but your excitement and adrenaline weren’t going to let that happen. The entire time you were meeting the new guy all you could think about was JJ. As much as you tried to focus on the person in front of you JJ stayed in the back of your mind.

As you arrived back home JJ was naturally the first to welcome you back. “Sooo tell me all about your new boyfriend.” He tried to fake his excitement for your sake but you could see right through it. You sighed in response not sure how to answer him.

“I think he’s been in front of me all along.” You answered without realizing at first. Both yours and JJ’s eyes widened at your sudden confession. “Come again?” JJ asked dumbfounded. “It’s you jj its always been you I’ve just been to oblivious to see it.” After that day you and JJ were an unofficially official couple.

[hazyspiderwebs]

“Y/N are you really happy with him?” JJ’s question felt like it knocked the breath out of you. When you first met your boyfriend you did have feelings for him or did you? Deep down you had always had feelings for JJ but you also knew that would probably never happen. So you subconsciously looked for him in other guys. Not much of a shock you weren’t happy in your relationship and it wasn’t fair to you or your boyfriend. But you never expected anyone to call you out about it let alone JJ.

“Why do you ask?” You replied trying to sound normal. “I dunno you just seem different everytime you start dating a new guy. It’s like you become him and become a shell of yourself.” He was right you would become obsessed with your current boyfriends hobbies in an attempt to distract yourself from your true feelings.

“I guess I’m still trying to find myself.” You attempted to lie yet again but you weren’t fooling anyone this time not even yourself. “Oh cmon that’s bull and you know it.” JJ rolled his eyes and shook his head at your response. The rest of the pogues had gradually left as your conversation with JJ started escalating. “Call me when you come to your senses.” JJ finished the conversation leaving you very confused. As the door slammed behind him Pope was the first one that dared to come back in.

“Pope what the hell just happened?” Pope sighed not wanting to be dragged into this. But he suspected it was going to be happening soon. “You’re in love with JJ and are heavily in denial for some reason. JJ is in love with you and is clearly not in denial but he can see you pushing it away.” You stood there in shock and tried to process everything. “I’m probably overstepping my boundaries here but my advice is break up with what’s his face and go talk to JJ.” Now you sighed “No Pope you’re right.”

So that’s what you did. Breaking up with your boyfriend was surprisingly easy. You felt like a weight that you didn’t realize you were carrying had been lifted. As you instinctively went to where JJ was you felt your body relax even more. JJ was laying in a hammock deep in his thoughts watching the sunset. He glanced over at you when he heard your footsteps and he looked back at the sunset trying not to show his smile. “Sup stranger?” He asked nonchalantly. “I came to my senses.” You replied nervously not quite sure what to expect now. “Well it’s about time.” JJ responded with a laugh. He moved over in the hammock enough for you to lay next to him. You each had half of your bodies comfortably in the hammock and the other half hanging off but the two of you couldn’t care less. JJ started absentmindedly running his fingers through your hair. “J what are we?” You asked finally breaking the silence. “What do you want to be?” He asked in response. He could sense your nerves and he didn’t want you to run away from him again “it’s really up to you. We can go slow and not have a label yet or we can start dating as of today. Whatever you want I’m okay with.” You realized how much more comfortable you were with him than any of the other guys you had tried to date before. Yet the idea of losing him made you more nervous. You buried your face in his chest and mumbled out “okay boyfriend” in response half hoping he wouldn’t hear you. But by his immediate laugh in response it was obvious he heard you loud and clear. “Alright girlfriend.” He responded more high pitched than necessary making you laugh before the two of you fell asleep.

[hazyspiderwebs]

Quit

You unfortunately had a job working at one of the kooks restaurants. They often took advantage of you but it was decent money so you stayed. It was taking more of a toll recently but they kept you so busy you didn’t really have a chance to think about it. JJ however noticed. You were getting a lot harder to reach and when you did try to hangout with him you ended up falling asleep most of the time. Your deep sleep was interrupted by a phone call “hello?” You answered still half asleep. “Baby are you okay? You don’t sound good.” JJ stated shocked you even answered. As you became more aware of your surroundings you realized your throat did hurt and your sinuses were blocked and running simultaneously. “I think I’m sick.” You replied hoarsely. “I’ll be there with medicine soon. I love you.” He ended the call not wanting you to strain your voice even more. You tried to call out but nobody answered the work phone. You dreaded having to text your boss but you had no other choice. Within minutes your boss responded with a lengthy paragraph with some choice words about how you were probably faking it and when you came back they were cutting your hours. You felt like you were stuck and honestly you were burnt out anyway. But you didn’t know anywhere else on the island that would pay as much. You knew what was coming next though. You had watched your coworkers be cut to barely 5 hours a week before when they called out. You knew that wouldn’t be enough to take care of yourself.

When JJ came in he immediately placed his hand on your forehead. He winced feeling how hot you were. He gave you a sympathetic smile and went to measure out the doses of medicine you needed. “How are you feeling?” “Sick and stressed.” You responded weakly. JJ gave you a look of confusion “why are you stressed?” You pulled up your text thread with your boss and handed it to him. You could feel his anger rise as he read the exchange. “Just quit. They don’t deserve you as a worker anyway.” He spoke with anger evident in his voice. “But I need this job.” “You need a job you don’t need this one. I have connections all over the island I can get you a new job by tomorrow.” You debated about asking how he got those connections but you decided not to. It was like JJ could read your mind though “you don’t want to know how I got the connections but don’t worry it wouldn’t be a dangerous job in any way.” He assured you and your knew JJ would never put your life in danger. “I’m anxious to quit and I’m scared of how they’ll respond.” You were pretty much whispering at this point. “I’ll take care of it.” JJ assured you again and started typing a message to your boss. JJ wanted to respond with some choice words of his own but he didn’t want it to possibly backfire on you. So he simply sent back an “I quit.” text and blocked them before they could respond. “You’re a free woman!” JJ exclaimed dramatically making you laugh. He laid down beside you and let you rest your head on his chest. You fell asleep to the rhythm of his heart beat. While you slept JJ messaged some of his connections and had a job lined up for you when you recovered.