heartofspells

[heartofspells]

Mother's Prayers

Her whispers of foreboding find Remus' ears in the witching hours, when the clocks go silent and the world rests still, not even the breeze blowing to disturb the leaves outside his window. Sirius lies beside him, spread out like a scruffy dog, gorgeous and richly dark like fine cocoa or the finest coffee beans bleeding into the pale light of an omniscient moon telling fortunes unable to be heard by mortal ears. He snuffles in his sleep, nosing into the pillow underneath his face, and Remus watches with bated breath, terrified of disrupting something carved out so delicately that it feels impossible it exists at all, but here he is; this shrouded cave opened only for Remus to enter and traverse, a path leading to certain doom, or so legends claim. People claim. Remus turns deaf ears on it all.

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[heartofspells]

Remus shot him a fond look through the smoke unfurling between them before refocusing on his book. “It’s only been three days, Padfoot, and you’re already clawing at the walls. What will you do when I leave tomorrow?” “Perish, most likely,” Sirius answered. They both knew the only thing keeping him in the flat and obeying instructions to stick to Order business he could do at home or headquarters, was that he’d been able to spend the majority of the three days in bed with Remus. Once Remus left, Sirius would lose his patience with it quickly. “There are some very interesting old curses in here,” Remus said, flipping through his book with a thoughtful look. “Do you think you know them all?” “I see what you’re doing,” Sirius sang as he strummed his guitar. “What is the counter curse for Magnergio Tormarmu?” Remus asked, a finger planted on the page like he’d just found some hidden treasure. “Interi,” Sirius answered instantly. “Honestly, Moony, give me a challenge, will you?” Remus flipped through the pages again as Sirius hummed along with the tune he’d just created. “Petriio.” Sirius pulled a face. “A skin melting curse? You’re killing the mood.” “I didn’t realise this was foreplay,” Remus said dryly. Sirius swung his guitar off his lap, setting on the floor and leaned forward so their faces were inches apart. “Everything is foreplay with you. And the counter curse is Etherectus.”

Start from the beginning, or

Pick up at Chapter 10 - Something New

[heartofspells]

I've finally hit that elusive feeling of yes with the latest chapter of better on my own after working on it for months, so I'm celebrating by sharing a snippet.

The guilt of keeping a secret from James had begun to calcify in Sirius’ chest. Keeping secrets, in general, didn't bother him. In fact, he quite liked his privacy. But he and James didn’t really have secrets from one another. That wasn’t something they did. Sirius couldn’t quite put his finger on why his throat closed up every time he thought about telling him, or why his heart started to race every time James gave him that look like he could see right through him. In the beginning, it just hadn’t felt like something that needed telling. James didn’t need to know everyone he shagged, friend or not. But over time, stolen moments, became stolen nights, became mixed laundry. And now Remus’ toothbrush lived permanently in a green glass jar next to Sirius’ on the sink and he’d stopped going back to his flat entirely. Sirius hadn’t even really needed to lie about why he moved in. Everyone just assumed he could no longer afford his flat, and Sirius had a spare room. He’d thought about bringing it up to Remus, but he seemed perfectly content with their arrangement, and it all just seemed like something Sirius shouldn’t be poking at. Something slightly too big for him to get his hands around himself, let alone explain. Sirius kicked his leg, knocking Remus’ feet off the bed and causing him to jolt awake. After a few panicked looks around the room, ending in a resigned sigh as his eyes focused on Sirius, Remus scrubbed his hands down his face with a low groan. “Did you forget how to get into the flat?” Sirius asked. “Not exactly,” Remus yawned. “Kingsley asked if I’d do your bandage changes, on a count of you snarling at him in your sleep like a feral dog.” The edges of Sirius’ lips drew up, a surge of affection running through him. “Liar.” “Maybe,” Remus conceded, cracking a smile. “You were drooling, though.” “Whimpering a bit too,” Lily added.

[heartofspells]

him - Chapter 6

Remus carefully nudges the door wider, taking in the sight of Sirius resting perfectly relaxed in his chair. His feet are kicked up on his desk, one leg of his black scrubs having fallen back to reveal a patch of darkly inked skin above the line of his sock. He's digging through the bag of pick and mix Remus had found in his top drawer not long ago, the plastic crunching and rattling as his fingers shuffle through the sweets.

"Beak refused to play with you, eh?"

His voice startles Remus, causing him to jump a little where he stands outside the door. Sirius hasn't even looked at him, and Remus hadn't realized the other man knew he was there at all. With a mildly sheepish laugh, Remus steps inside the office, finally drawing Sirius' dancing and amused eyes, far away enough to look like dark smoke in the shadow from the window behind him.

"I'm certain he sensed my desperation," returns Remus as he stuffs his hands into his pockets, his shoulders relaxing obviously.

Sirius hums. "He's a prick like that," he comments with a humored note, "but he's my prick, I reckon."

"It is said they learn to imitate their masters."

"Oho!" crows Sirius with sudden delight, shifting in his chair without lowering his feet. Remus remembers how it had smelled when he'd sat in it. "The man has jokes. Nice to see you're finally coming out of your shell. Mocking the boss. That's bold of you."

"I figure someone's got to keep your head from popping off your shoulders," remarks Remus with a disinterested air that arches one of Sirius' dark eyebrows. "Benjy is far too tightly wrapped around your finger. All your fingers."

"Yeah, well," mumbles Sirius without much feeling, though his eyes darken as he peers at Remus as though he sees exactly what Remus is trying not to openly say. "And you're not, is that it?"

I'm wrapped around every other part of you. I'll wrap myself around your heart if you'll let me.

"Only if blind loyalty is what you're after."

"No one ever said that was a bad thing," replies Sirius gravely before he rolls his eyes and snorts. "Here." He drops his legs off the desk and leans his upper body forward over its surface, highlighting the smooth line of his back beneath the black of his scrub top. He holds out the open end of the bag towards Remus and rattles it. "Go on. I tell most to not nick my strawberry wheels, but I'll be nice to you."

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(the beautiful, absolutely stunning banner above was made by @marley1031 and @brinkworth <3 they are incredible and I want to cry every time I look at it)

[heartofspells]

Hey. I just wanted to tell you that even 2 years after having read it, Wasteland still occupies a little corner of my brain and comes back to haunt me occasionally. Having recently taken the time to re-read it, it's still both phenomenally written and utterly terrifying to read. Hats off to you.

😭😭😭

You are the sweetest! I'm so glad it's still nestled into your brain (and also just a little bit sorry). Wasteland was never meant to be some fanfiction epic. That wasn't the point of it. The point of it was exactly this, to settle into that part of some people's minds wherever it belonged and never let go. It was meant to be haunting and terrifying, so as bad as it might sound to say, I'm eternally thrilled that it's done that for you.

Thank you so much for popping in to tell me this. I forever love knowing what I put out there makes some sort of impact. <3

[heartofspells]

Show your snippets!

Thank you for the tag, @mycupofrum!

Here's a snippet from the next chapter of him, which I swear is coming very soon. I know it's been ages, but the chapter is finished and in the finishing stages.

"Thanks for the ride," says Remus as he adjusts his bag and straightens his clothing, giving his shirt a small tug under his jacket. When he looks up, Sirius is staring at him as though he's grown two new heads. "I cannot believe you're dismissing me that easily," he complains as he plucks his gloves off and pointedly stuffs them inside his pocket. "I don't think I've ever been treated so unfairly in my life. The injustice of it. I'm kind enough to give you a ride home, and you just flap your little hand at me and shove me off like I'm no better than a sinking ship." Remus spreads his fingers out in front of himself. "My hand is not little," he protests, causing Sirius to give what Remus is quickly realizing is a customary and slightly ridiculing snort. He peers at Sirius with narrowed eyes. "Is this your way of saying you want to be invited inside?" "I'd never," says Sirius with a dramatic gasp, hand clutching over his chest. The leather of his jacket creaks deliciously. "My mother always taught me not to be rude." He pauses for a moment, his lips curling decisively. "Actually, that's not true. She taught me to always be rude to those beneath me." Sirius' eyes glitter in the falling darkness as he smirks. "Are you beneath me, Remus?" he digs quietly. Not yet. Remus' throat fills with something a little thick that he can't swallow down. "Would you like to come inside, Sirius?" The change in him is instantaneous, his grin spreading broadly as he begins to heave his leg over the bike. "I'd love to, Remus." Remus gives a soft chuckle as Sirius unbuckles Buckbeak with a satisfied jaunt to his movements. Once the dog is free, Remus leads them through the gate and the back garden to his door, flipping on the lights once inside. Sirius takes a long look around as Remus pulls his bag over his head, dropping it on the tiny table beside the door, watching as Sirius strides deeper into his home as though it's exactly where he belongs. Remus wilts a little with the sight and the longing. Buckbeak roams with his nose to the floor, sniffing with purpose while Sirius drifts this way and that. He examines several of Remus' books on one shelf, picking up a little bauble before setting it back down. He trails to the other side of the room near one of the small windows as Buckbeak slowly makes his way up the stairs, Sirius flicking the leaf of a hanging plant with a mildly curious expression. "No plans tonight?" asks Remus conversationally, and Sirius only shrugs as he goes to peer through the window at the lanterns lighting the garden.  "Nothing that can't be pushed. Or broken," he says with mild disinterest before glancing over his shoulder at Remus with those same twinkling, jeweled eyes. "Especially if something better comes along." Sirius returns to gazing out the window before he suddenly turns fully to face Remus.

Open tag! Show 'em if you've got 'em!

[heartofspells]

First Lines

Thank you so much for the tag, @mycupofrum! (even if i'm soooo horribly late to it) This is a lot of fun, and going through my fics, it's amazing how I've forgotten almost all my first lines. This was a nice trip down memory lane.

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don't be shy and share anyway!

1 - him (Wolfstar / E / WIP)

London is shit.

2 - like salt in a wound (Peter Pettigrew & Sirius Black / T / One-shot)

Dart. Quickly. Hurry! Move fast.

3 - All That Glitters (Wolfstar / M / Complete)

Phoo phoo phoo There's something about being in the world when everything is quiet and peaceful, when no one is around to intrude or invade, to interrupt the brain's chosen path, those twisting and winding branches that splinter away, tugging thoughts in this direction or possibly that one. Everything is wrapped in silk, soft and sliding as the earth rotates round and round, sounds muffled, not allowed to disturb the sleepy hamlet.

4 - Hangfire (Prongsfoot / E / Complete)

"That should be the last of it."

5 - Toddlers & Toilets (Prongsfoot / T / One-shot)

"Padfoot?" "Mhm." "What are you doing?" "I am waiting."

6 - Devil in the Kitchen (Wolfstar+James friendship / T / One-shot)

It's a good day, a lazy day, and Sirius would have it no differently.

7 - CRuSH (Prongsfoot / E / Complete)

The thing no one tells you about running away is that eventually, sooner or later, you always come home.

8 - Toying with You (Wolfstar / E / One-shot)

In hindsight, interacting with anything or anyone on the internet while drunk probably isn't the best idea.

9 - This Way We Fall (Wolfstar / M / Complete)

War isn't for the faint of heart.

10 - Don't Say Sheep (Wolfstar / T / One-shot)

" – gonna go say hi to Asturd – " "Astrid – " " – and to Gunter – " "Gunther – " " – because they're my favorites! They talk the mostest and their tongues tickle when they eats from my hand. Can we please go feed them now? Please, Moony. Please, please!"

Open tag! Because I have no idea who's done this already (but I am going to sneak in a tag for @tracingpatternswrites if you're interested, my bestest love)

[heartofspells]

Show your snippets

Tagged by @nyxunderwood, @lovelymasks, @goldenlionprince, @lilacella ❤️

Ok, here goes, an unedited snippet from the last WIP that I’ve been writing. It’s the Lily and Sirius fic that I don’t where it’s going… It’s a surprise to me too. :D I just wanted them to talk about the unsaid things while smoking weed.

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”You know, for a short while, there was a time when I thought…” Lily stops speaking, and she buries her face in her hands. ”Oh god, this stuff is a bit strong, isn’t it?”

”It’s good quality, yeah.” Sirius sighs. His shoulders relax visibly, and he stares at the ceiling, the lamp and its warm, yellow light. After a stretch of silence, he continues, ”What did you think?”

”I thought that you were jealous.” She swallows and takes another drag from the cursed joint that made her loose words come out in the first place. Later, she could say she wasn’t coherent when she said these things out loud. But she needs to know.

“Jealous?”

A sudden giggle escapes Lily along with the smoke, and she has to cough it out. When her lungs calm down, she licks her lips and continues. ”Yeah, I thought you were jealous because you were interested in me. Can you believe it?”

Sirius clears his throat, and Lily hands him the joint. He takes a deep drag and remains quiet; she doesn’t blame him.

When his long dark lashes flutter and his eyes become heavier, Lily thinks she really can’t blame James. With a best friend like that, beautiful to the eye, sure, but more than anything so fiercely loyal and protective, she’d be obsessed too.

”I feel really silly about it now,” she says and laughs again. None of it makes any sense. The truths she’s revealing. Her mind is wonderfully foggy, and everything feels lighter. Why should it matter if she finally gets to the bottom of things? Sirius is here right now. She might as well come clean while she’s at it.

”I thought that maybe you liked me and couldn’t stand seeing James and I together, and that’s why you needed some space. I know that James said it was because of your family, and maybe it was, but I always sensed there was something else going on too. But then I thought about how you two always looked at each other, and I realised that – that –”

”That I was in love with him.”

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Tagging @brinkworth @heartofspells @groundzero-v @arliedraws with no pressure. Only if you feel like sharing something. :)

[heartofspells]

Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

[heartofspells]

One of my long term fandom friends (back from ye olde message board days of yore) has been posting for weeks about how her teenage daughter is “out of control” and she just posted in the facebook group about how her daughter has ruined Christmas by deciding to be a lesbian and the whole group just went “Karen, you’ve been writing gay m/m slash fic for three decades” and she went “but that’s different, that’s not REAL” and I’ve never tried to actively set someone on fire with my brain before but

[heartofspells]

[heartofspells]

I love a woman with a loud ass laugh. I love a cackle. I love a guffaw. Love when a bitch laughs so hard it scares the dog. Be unapologetic in your joy.

[heartofspells]

[heartofspells]

Do you immediately get out of your shower and grab your towel or do you sit there a few minutes before to stop dripping?

Tell me random 3rd in comments 🥰

[heartofspells]

I’m sure someones already said this but I often see Tumblr described as a hellsite. This is fundamentally incorrect.

Tumblr is the faesite. Everybody is super confused and lost, you keep running into random places. Somehow you end up stuck there forever after interacting a couple of times. The people are all strange, everybody simultaneously seems to be from the future and the past as if time is meaningless.

[heartofspells]

Here's a radical idea. If you don't like a story the way it is written, write your own instead of shitting over top of everyone else's creations who choose to share their thoughts with you for free. It is literally that easy. Words on a page: GO!

And if you're brave enough to do what countless others have chosen to do just to sit around and get your negative comments on something you did not have to read, you will then be free to tag it however you wish. Tag it so exhaustively that no one has any need to read it at all because - oh my god! - every minute detail exists in the tags! That makes for such a fun read, doesn't it?

That is all.

[heartofspells]

hello, I wasn't joking when I said i've been enjoying "Him" a lot, I didn't know I needed stalker Remus until I got him!!! I have some questions about it:

Is the fic based in a specific season of the show? asking this because Sirius is also A Bit Weird about Remus so I was wondering if we are going to have a "joe+love" situation

Also, was there a reason for mary to be so suspicious and rude towards Remus? (besides the fact that he is. you know. A stalker. But she doesn't know that yet so)

and also, do you have any idea about how long will the fic be?? how many chapters etc.

Anyway, thanks so much for writing it!!! <3

Stalker Remus has my whole heart - or well, the part of it Sirius doesn't hold because I love him in this so much! Also, I've said it before, but I am so incredibly happy that you're enjoying it as much as you are. And I appreciate you not only telling me that, but popping in to ask questions about it! <3

Sirius is A Bit Weird, isn't he? He raises more than a few eyebrows. While the fic isn't necessarily based on season two, it is heavily influenced by it just because, in my opinion, that's the best season. Sirius also fits very well with Love. The rich family backing him while he tries to make his own way, though he's still dangling off their hooks for things he deems as important? So very Sirius. I also feel like he and Love just share that same vibe. Taking what they want, doing as they wish within reason. A bit unhinged. You'll also probably notice a few other similarities to season two as we move forward.

As for Mary, she's just suspicious by nature. She's seen enough bad things through her line of work that she's not incredibly trusting of most people. We'll see more of her soon enough, but she wasn't entirely on board with renting out their home to a stranger, and there's something about Remus that just seems to make her skin crawl. Mostly, though, she's simply protective of her little found family. Lily and Harry have struggled a bit, but we'll get into more at a later time as well.

I don't really have a set chapter number yet, though currently, the very loose number I have in my head is roughly 40 chapters. That could go up or down as I move forward. I've got the first 15 chapters completely and fully mapped out in detail, while the rest are just a looser outline, but those 15 chapters only put us about a third of the way through what I've got planned. Which all goes to say that we still have a very long way to go 😅

For anyone interested in stalker Remus and A Bit Weird Sirius, check out him (shameless plug, ahoyyyyy!). I promise you that it's going to be a very wild ride.