heeheehoohoohahahihi - Tumblr blog

[heeheehoohoohahahihi]

Throwback to when I took painkillers and woke up with Photoshop open on my computer to this image I had made

[heeheehoohoohahahihi]

hey

hey friend

dont kill yourself tonight ok

you have a really pretty smile and i know its not always easy to manage one but itd be a bummer if we never had the chance to see it ever again

youre really important and you matter a lot so stay safe and try and have a nice sleep

[heeheehoohoohahahihi]

I always see the dog choking info on here, so here’s what to do if a kitty is choking

Save your kitties, we all know they eat everything anyway. 

http://www.wikihow.com/Save-a-Choking-Cat

http://www.wikihow.com/Perform-CPR-on-a-Cat

[heeheehoohoohahahihi]

ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

FETCH ME NEIL

[heeheehoohoohahahihi]

$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account wouldn't improve EVERYTHING but boy it sure would be a grand, sexy little start to a good, happy life path, don't you think

[heeheehoohoohahahihi]

This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years. 

If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life. 

[heeheehoohoohahahihi]

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

[heeheehoohoohahahihi]

[heeheehoohoohahahihi]

Currently in a walmart bathroom because my body decided that it couldn't wait like 30 minutes for me to be able to get home... lol. The joys of ibs

[heeheehoohoohahahihi]

Things that real life sex has taught me that isn't in porn :

Shaking during sex, no no, not her legs, him. Yeah. It happens to men too, from anticipation and excitement. I only had one partner who used to have that sometimes and the first time it freaked me out lol.

Queefing, that has to happen at least once during sex, I mean, air goes in, sorry but it's gonna have to come out.

Going too deep actually hurts, oh my fucking god lol. IYKYK. Hitting the cervix feels like ... hmmm. Dying. Yeah, death. Like I felt your penis in my actual guts and now I need to throw up because the cramping is horrendous. Thanks, don't do that again. Does the chick in porn not have a cervix or??? I have literally thrown up from this before, it is the most painful thing I have ever experienced during sex, hands down.

That he might lose his boner mid-sex, this one's a big one lol pun intended. And uh, it might not be your fault. Actually most of the time it isn't. And guys, if it does happen, please communicate, it's really not a big deal, at least not for me, Im down to help, and also I can feel it getting softer okay lol don't be lying.

Sometimes it can be painful for the guy too, this one's more common for men who have foreskin, at least in my experience.

That you can get your period mid-sex, oh man. A sad moment for all of us. But here's the thing, when you're orgasming, everything contracts, and your uterus will contract and unfortunately if you were expecting it, welp, here it is. So yeah, it happens. But that's pretty great, personally i'm able to make my period come faster by masturbating over and over, true story (only if its a day or two away).

You can probably orgasm but it's not a given, or taking way longer than you thought. I have ridden dick like my life depended on it because I was felt it annnnnnnnnd it was gone, annnnnd it's back, noooope it's gone.

Related to the last point, looking cute when orgasming, sweetie listen, I look like I ran a marathon and like Im about to die (plus im a smoker, imagine that). So that lady in porn who's like *cute voice* oohh I'm coming! ... idk about you but I don't look cute when im about to cum super hard lol.

Stopping mid-sex because you don't feel like it anymore.

Sometimes it takes forever to get a condom or to put it on, relax dude, no one's judging you, I would rather you don't give me an std or a baby so take your time.

There's no shame in asking to put a towel down, fluids, we have those, and we have a lot of those, and sometimes, some of us can unexpectedly squirt, whatever tf that fluid is, it's gonna go everywhere.

That female lubrication can have a different color/texture depending on where she's at in her cycle/if she has an infection.

Sex is smelly.

A lot of us moan louder than we actually want to, to help you out. I have done that before, when bored or when the guy was doing something I didn't really enjoy but he did. Whatever, hey at least I've never faked an orgasm, Im literally not giving you that lol if you suck, you suck sorry. Now ... the reason you prob shouldn't do that is that he's gonna think he's doing something good, when really he isn't. Then he's gonna have sex with someone else, and do the same shit, and she's also not gonna cum. Don't be the reason another lady can't have an orgasm ok.

That trying different positions isn't super glamorous. Some hurt, some don't feel like anything, some are awkward. Just because your bestie swears by reverse cowgirl, doesn't mean it'll work for you.

That it's ok to stop and take a water and snack break, sorry one sec, Im hypoglycemic.

That a lot of the time when you get fucked hard enough, you're shifting, like, quite a bit, and next thing you know you're almost falling off the bed, it's not cute, who cares.

That sex can be awkward, uncomfortable, painful, not enjoyable, and that all of that is normal.

[heeheehoohoohahahihi]

I hate moving. My thighs and calves are covered in bruises and my muscles ache. Luckily I just have cleaning to do today and then I just get to relax over Christmas. Next time I move I'm gonna have half the stuff. It doesn't help that I'm hypermobile in my fingers and wrists and they ache so bad.

[heeheehoohoohahahihi]

He's so pretty..

KYLE "GAZ" GARRICK Call of Duty: Modern Warfare III (2023)

[heeheehoohoohahahihi]

Wtf is this? Why did it have to show up on my dashboard at 4 am. How do I make it go away. Not a huge fan of clowns.

[heeheehoohoohahahihi]

seems to apply only to B and up, and man you wouldn't believe how long it took me to get all of this

-------------------------------------------------------

Nightbringer Surprise Guests

Lucifer

I'm feeling good. Why don't we open a bottle of my prized Demonus?

1. Tap Face

2. Rub Head

3. Rub Chest

I know you want to give me a high five, don't you? Fine, just this once. Call it a special occasion.

1. High Five

2. Rub Chest

3. Tap Arm

Mammon

We'll be invincible if we Team up!

1. Rub Face

2. Rub Face

3. Rub Face

Hey, hey, hey! The Great Mammon makes his mark!

1. High Five

2. Rub Head

3. Rub Head

Leviathan

Haha, let's experience tha taste of victory together!

1. Tap Head

2. Rub Face

3. Rub Head

Let's great each other like Normies would!

1. High Five

2. Rub Head

3. Tap Face

Satan

We won thanks to me.

1. Rub Face

2. Tap Chest

3. (Rub/Tap Chest, Tap/Rub Arm, Tap/Rub Head, Rub Face) Tap Face (couldn't get one with more hearts???)

Is this how one shares happiness? Give me a high five.

1. High Five

2. Rub Head

3. Tap Chest

Asmodeus

A win for me is as natural as breathing air!

1. Rub Head

2. Rub Chest

3. Rub Arm

Come on, hold out your hand. High five <3

1. High Five

2. Rub Head

3. Rub Face

Beelzebub

Thanks to you, I was able to get through it despite being hungry.

1. Tap Head

2. Tap Head

3. Rub Chest

Not bad, huh? It's time for a victory hamburger!

1. High Five

2. Rub Chest

3. Rub Arm

Belphegor

You want to hang out with me? All right, you got it.

1. Rub Head

2. Rub Face

3. Rub Head

All right... you want me to hold up my hand, right?

1. High Five

2. Rub Head

3. Rub Head

Diavolo

It really does feel good to win, doesn't it!

1. Rub Head

2. Rub Head

3. Tap Head

All right, let's savor the joy of victory... Just you and me!

1. High Five

2. Rub Face

3. Tap Face

Barbatos

Was I of any help to you?

1. Tap Head

2. Tap Head

3. Rub Head

Is this where we do the so-called "high five"? Someone taught me how to do it.

1. High Five

2. Rub Head

3. Tap Head

Solomon

You're my best student, you know? As your teacher, you make me proud

1. Tap Chest

2. Rub Chest

3. Rub Chest

Hey! It felt good to win like that, huh? We make a truly amazing teacher and apprentice team, am I right?

1. High Five

2. Tap Chest

3. Rub Head

Simeon

I'm super excited right now, but how about you?

1. Rub Head

2. Rub Face

3. Rub Arm

How about we see whether exchanging greetings will deepen our bond?

1. High Five

2. Rub Head

3. Rub Face

Luke

...So how was it? Did I look cool?

1. Rub Head

2. Rub Face

3. Rub Arm

Okay here we go! It's time for a high five!

1. High Five

2. Rub Head

3. Rub Head

[heeheehoohoohahahihi]

﹕ ꒰ ๑・❛ ❪ ateez ; lockscreens ❫ ᵎᵎ  ˒  

˖ ꗃ ࣪ ꒷ like / reblog If u save and use ˑ ִֶָ

[heeheehoohoohahahihi]

since the old version of this post was flagged for ‘adult content’…

reblog this post if your account is a trans safe space or owned by a trans person!

along with that, reblog if your account is a non-binary spectrum safe space or owned by someone on the enby spectrum!

[heeheehoohoohahahihi]

Woah he's so pretty.

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